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CHAPTER 6 – Explanation

"Why?" she asked again, but now her voice was slightly softer, more scared. He'd only seen her like this two other times (he kept count of the moments when his heart seemed to stop beating), and it never failed to scare the hell out of him.

"We'll find out, Bones, don't worry." He had to be strong for her, like he always was. He didn't have to think about the possible reasons himself. He had to stop wanting to break the car in the middle of the road and crush her to his chest so that she never had to use that voice again. He had to be strong, in control, like he had been whenever she had needed him. He also had to stop wanting to kiss her, that was just wrong and foolish.

"I don't understand. I dislike not comprehending a scenario, but this… this has no logic, Booth, no inductive or deductive process! I don't understand!"

"Bones… we are going to fix this. We will figure this out and then fix it, okay? We're partners. We've always been partners."

"No we have not. We've been partners for three years and five months, Booth, the word always implies a bit longer than that."

She looked at him, just to check that she hadn't said the wrong thing, which hadn't used to bother her so much before. He had a faint smile on his lips, so she must have said something right. Amidst the terrifying confusion everything brought, she also felt a little like she had cheated. Because it did feel like always, no matter how inaccurate the word was.

*

When they were standing just behind the office door (now with a sign proclaiming "Dr Alfred Lenney, Psychologist"), Brennan reached another conclusion without processing all the facts: whatever they found out here would be beyond terrible. She had some basis in fact, after all, any reason to separate her from Booth was bad, but she knew deep down that she didn't want to hear the reason. That it would shatter something inside of her (again incorrect, given the fact that words cannot actually break internal organs).

So she did what she had done before; she let herself tell Booth something was wrong, and hoped he would make it less painful. She trusted him.

"Booth, I can't. I… I can't do this. Can… could you?"

He was strong. He was being as brave as he could, for her, of course, anything for her, but this was something he couldn't do. Perhaps the only thing he couldn't do for her. He couldn't face this alone, he wasn't made of steel and rock, she made sure of that every day, every second her presence reminded him how easily he could burn.

"We can do this, Bones. Together, okay?"

She took a deep breath and their eyes locked. With a sigh of relief they simply let themselves give in, and melt into a wonderful, safe, strong hug.

But this was a mistake, because when she opened the door he still felt dazed and half-drunk with her body against his, and his gaze was lost, disoriented, and for a moment he didn't even know why they were here.

"Dr Lenney."

"Dr Brennan. Agent Booth. I had a feeling you would come and see me soon."

"Why did you do it?" she didn't shout, and she hadn't slammed the door either. But this tone was much, much worse. If steel could be made into sound, this was exactly what it would be like.

"It's not really a question of why, Dr Br-"

"Yes it is. Yes it is and you know it. You know how good we are. Why did you lie to Edwards?"

"I didn't lie to Edwards. I gave him an accurate report and he made his own decision."

"Of course you lied! There is no reason for our solving rate to drop, no reason to suggest we would suddenly start performing worse in cases…"

"Yes there is, Dr Brennan. But I'm curious… I was expecting some force from you, Agent Booth."

Booth stopped staring at Brennan, and realised the look on his face was not fit to the situation.

"Do you know what would cause that drop I predicted?"
"No." his tone was flat, expressionless. He didn't know, but he could guess. Of course he could guess. Suddenly it all seemed clearer. Now that he'd been asked, everything felt a little more real. The images sharper, Brennan's figure more precise, her eyes stronger. Of course he could guess.

And suddenly Booth did know.

"I think, Dr Brennan, that you should ask Agent Booth."

"What? No! You tell me. Tell me this supposed reason."

"I'm afraid not."

"Why not! You've gotten us separated! That's…" and suddenly her throat seemed to constrict, without apparent cause other than her own words. "That's…"

"All right, Dr Brennan. Please calm down. If you want, I'll tell you."

Ex-partners waited in silence. Booth felt as though a part of him was losing itself forever.

"Frankly, it was the absolute lack of professionalism displayed by both of you."

"Lack of…" she couldn't find words, for the first time there was no accurate way of describing the absolute, earth-shattering, roaring, shaking fury! "When have we ever been unprofessional! How dare you, based on three meetings! You are not fit to call yourself a doctor! You ridiculous, pathetic…!"

"Bones, wait." A calming hand on her shoulder was all it took to let her stop.

"Explain, Dr Lenney." He didn't shout like her, nor did he use steel to make himself understood. He genuinely wanted to know, to hear the words come out of that despicable man's mouth, the words he had known for years now. The words he tried to fight every day.

"Dr Brennan, Agent Booth, it seems rather cliché and frankly, embarassing to tell you that Dr Sweets fabricated false reports to cover up something."

"Cover up?"

"Of course. The faked death of Agent Booth, that odd trip to a Ceramics Class, even ninety percent of your day to day meetings all shouted one thing, and, in an effort to hide that thing, Dr Sweets lied in every line. That is why he was fired. He lied about your relationship so that you could keep working together."

"Lied about… what?" she wasn't angry anymore. It had all left her in one blow, so that all that was left was a terrifying hollow.