A/N: It has been a while and I know that the last chapter was short so to make up for it I've provided an extra long update. Thanks to those that reviewed the last chapter. Read and enjoy (hopefully).

How I Feel

Peyton's POV

When my mother died, it was the worst day of my life. Finding Ellie's body was the second followed in third and fourth place by Ian Banks attacking me twice. My two fallouts with Brooke and when I got shot rank high too, just like my father's heart attack. I didn't want to have anything else add to this list, they caused me enough heartache and pain.

You can say that my mind has wondered off to all the negative things that have happened to me and its hard not to. When you've had my life, it's hard to think of anything that's positive. I guess I'm sitting here wallowing in self-pity as I take everything in.

I see him and my mind starts thinking of all the recent times I've had with my father. The depressing thing is that we haven't spent that much time together. This is the thing that I regret and I hope that I'll be able to rectify that. He wasn't like Brooke's parents, he actually loved me and when he was around, things were great. He just wasn't around that often and that's what hurts the most. I close my eyes and try to find some strength within me to gear myself up for what is coming next.

The doctor walked up to us, and all I could see was the blood, lots and lots of it. His lips are moving that much is true. I'm not listening; my eyes are just focused on the blood. I can't recall a time when I've seen so much. A horror movie maybe, but that doesn't count so I guess this would be it. I fear the worst and semi prepared myself to it. I'm breathing heavily, struggling to find air. I'm not sure what's happening but my eyes are still focused on the blood. I feel a warm breath near my ear and a hand rubbing my back. "Breathe slowly for me babe." Brooke's voice soothes me and I steadily maintain an even breath but all I can hear is the pounding of my heart.

For the first time since he walked over to us, I raise my eyes to look at his face. He gives me a half smile and walks away. 'Wait a minute, what did he say?' I ask myself. Brooke, Nathan and Haley are smiling and I'm confused. Brooke walks in front of me and puts both her hands on my face. She's smiling but at the same time her eyes are welling up with water. This makes everything even fuzzier in my head. It actually starts to pound as bad as my heart is when words seem to finally make the connection from my ear to my brain. "He's gonna be alright Peyton."

If that wasn't enough, I hear the words again. "He's gonna be alright." I nod my head and start to cry tears of joy. She pulls me into her arms and I can't seem to stop crying. I finally feel like I've caught a break and I can't begin to tell you how great that feels.

A few days later

Brooke's POV

The past week has been hard for Peyton. She really thought that Larry was going to die. It was heart breaking, having seen her go through it before with Ellie and her mum. There wasn't much that I could do but be there for her when she needed me. No matter how many times I told her it wasn't her fault, she still felt like she was to blame for his condition. Haley and Nathan have been great and so supportive. I shouldn't have expected anything less from Naley. They've been cooking us dinner and generally helping in any way they can.

Right this very moment, I'm sitting outside Peyton's house in my car. I'm not sure what I'm doing at the moment. I'm just staring out into the street, watching life pass me by. All of this puts everything into perspective. No more regrets, no more waiting for things to happen. I have to make them happen. I close my eyes and just relax. I'm listening to the wind blowing, the rustling of the trees, the sprinklers watering the grass. I hear the birds chirping and Peyton. Wait why can I hear her.

"What are you doing in your car at 5am and in your pyjamas?" I open my eyes and let the window down a bit. That was a very good question, I thought about the answer and I couldn't come up with anything that would make any sense. "I needed to grab something." She looked at me like I said something stupid, which I probably did. Scratch that I definitely did having just ran it through my head again.

"And this couldn't wait until later." She bends down and rests her arms on the door, after I pressed the button to bring the window down completely. "What's going on?" I really didn't want to answer that. With everything that's gone on I couldn't put this on, at least not yet. "Just getting an early start." That was as vague as it gets. She puts her hand through her hair and mulls over her next move. All she does is simply place her hand on my shoulder.

"Come back inside." I nod and motion at the window. She gets the hint moves away. I press the button for the window to go back up and get out of the car. She puts her arm around my shoulder and notices that my hands are empty. She doesn't say another word and leads me back inside.

Peyton's POV

I'm not sure what it was, maybe my body just missed the warmth of hers, but I woke up. I looked around the room and she wasn't there. I checked the bathroom and around the rest of the house. Where could she possible be at this time of the morning?

I pull the curtains in the front room and that's when I notice her sitting in her car. I really didn't know what to think. I didn't believe her reason for being out there, so I didn't push it. I just made sure that I got her back inside. She didn't want to go back to sleep so she just sat on the sofa while I made some breakfast.

I'm driving to the hospital now, Brooke's going to join me later as she's got some work stuff to attend to. This will also give me alone time to speak to my father; I'm not running this time. I guess this is where we start again and sort everything out so there are no regrets.

Dad woke up yesterday and I wasn't even there at the time. I got a phone call while I was taking a shower. Event though the doctor told us he was going to be okay, I didn't believe it until I was told he was awake. That's when I felt that everything was going to be fine. Everybody has been so great with support and generosity; it's been quite overwhelming and I have to remember to thank them.

I hesitantly walk into his room making sure I'm quiet just in case he's asleep. He's sitting up and watching TV. He turns in my direction, so much for me being quiet. "Peyton." He sounds surprised and reaches to turn the television off.

"Hi dad. How are you feeling?" I walk closer to him, debating on whether I should keep standing or sit down. He opens his arms out which catch me by surprise. "Come here."

In that moment it felt like I was nine and I had found out that my mother had died. Pure confusion filled my head. My thoughts were broken by two simple words. "I'm sorry."

I open my mouth but no words come out. It would be helpful if there were words in my brain, but that seems to be drawing a blank. I huge sigh of relief washed over me and walked closer to him. He engulfed me in a hug and I couldn't help stop the tears that were running down my face. I'm not sure how long we stayed like that but for the first time in ages, I felt like a teenager again.

I pull away from him and plant myself on the chair next to his bed. I'm still speechless and he continues speaking as I soak it all in.

"I can't pretend to understand but I am sorry for I reacted. You have to look at it from my view or anyone that knows you. It's always been Lucas. Regardless of who Brooke is, girl or boy, it's the suddenness of everything. You go from 'loving Lucas' to discarding it all for Brooke. Is this what you really want?"

"More than anything in the world, Dad." I responded with conviction, finally finding words.

"Why did you wait so long?" He asked. I guess he's trying to get a better understanding of what was going on in this head of mine.

"I didn't think Brooke had those kind of feelings for me."

I obviously didn't understand what he was asking as he repeated it with more clarification. "No. What I meant was why did you wait so long before you called the wedding off?"

I paused for a moment, thinking that I was stupid to have let things get so far. "Because I was afraid. By calling it off, it would be admitting that these feelings were real and I was scared by the truth. I love Lucas but I'm not in love with him. I was naïve to think that my feelings would somehow change but the more I wished for them to change for Lucas, the more it grew for Brooke."

"When did you realise your feelings had changed for her." That was a really good question that I wasn't really sure I knew the answer to but I tried to answer it anyway. "I guess it's always been there. I just put things down to how close we were. She's all I think about. I just didn't realise it until she hugged me before we went down the aisle, that I couldn't pretend anymore."

"And Brooke?" He's really going for it on the question front. It feels like we're playing twenty questions.

"I didn't know how she felt until after the wedding, when she came after me."

He shifts in his bed and I get up to help him feel more comfortable but he raises his hand to tell me that he's ok. "I'm sorry if it feels like I'm interrogating you but I'm trying to understand. Are you two together now, like a couple?"

"Yes we are and we're happy. Is this gonna be too much for you too handle?" I guess I thought I'd throw a question for him too.

"Me lying here has taught me that you don't know what's around the corner, so I'll handle it." I actually believe what he's saying and I'm relived.

"Good because Brooke wants to see you but she's a little scared." I chuckle at my words, but it's true that she's scared. She's always been family and she didn't want anything to change between the two of them. He's always been the father she never had.

"She shouldn't be. I still love her like my own, that's never going to change." I think I'm going to cry. Brooke definitely would if she heard him say that. Instead of basking in the progress we've seem to have made, I ask him a question that has been weighing heavily on my mind ever since Haley told me he was in here. "Am I the reason you're in here?"

He seems surprised by this question but he must have known that I would be thinking it. "What makes you think that?"

"You're a pretty healthy man and the way we left things, I couldn't help think that your heart attack was my fault."

"There's more going on that would cause this." He waved around the room.

His answer bugged me. It was like he was telling me something without really telling me anything at all so I decide to press him on it. "What's going on dad?"

"Don't worry about it." I feel like he's just dismissed me and I won't take that as a satisfactory answer.

"I can't help but worry when you're lying here after nearly dying. Please tell me what is going on." My voice sounds more desperate and I'm begging for an answer.

He sighs and whatever it is, he doesn't want to tell me but he starts anyway. "I haven't been looking after myself properly. I got into some trouble and owed some money. I had to work more than usual to pay everything off."

"You could have come to me for help. It's not like I don't have the money."

"A father shouldn't need to go to his daughter for help." All I can say to that is he's a man and he's too proud. I get it, but it doesn't mean I'm happy about it.

"Has everything been dealt with?" I ask more sternly.

"Yes."

Brooke's POV

I had left Peyton alone for the morning to go to the hospital. I had a few Clothes Over Bros business to attend to. Having my own company is great but there are always downs that come packaged with the ups. Luckily I have a good set of people around me, only really possible when I fired Victoria. You wouldn't be surprised to know that she's no longer talking to me. That's fine by me as she spent most of my youth ignoring me. The only occasion we spent any real time together was when she was helping me with the company. Before and after then was just zilch.

I've been talking on my phone for ages trying to sort a few things out but it doesn't seem to be going well. I think I've worn the carpet down with all the pacing I've been doing. "This can't possibly happen, can it?"

"Unfortunately it is but I'm going to do my best to fight it." The voice on the other end says.

"Whatever it takes." I wanted to make it clear how serious I was by those words; I think the message was received loud and clear.

"I call you tomorrow." The call was ended and I took in the extent of the conversation and the situation that brought it. I had to make another call, one that wasn't stressful. I hit number 2 on the keypad and it doesn't take long for an answer.

"Hey, I was just about to call you." Peyton sounded happy over the phone. "Dad wants to see you."

"Hey, I'm not going to be able to make it before visiting ends. I'm sorry but things are taking longer than I expected." I really wanted to see him but there were things that required my urgent attention.

"Sure. I guess I'll just see you at mine later." I can hear the disappointment in her voice.

"I'll try not to be too late." I look at a photo I keep of the two of us and it brings a smile to my face. Not wanting to let her come off the call yet, I continue. "Peyton, I love you."

"I love you too. Is everything ok?" There was the million-dollar question. I don't think that it was just my behaviour that made her worry but I obviously didn't hide it too well in my voice. I took a deep breath and replied. "Everything's fine. I'll see you later."

"Bye." I end the call and walk to find Millicent. That girl has been brilliant and I couldn't ask for more from here. She started as my assistant and has ended up as my friend. I can't begin to thank her for the help that she has been. There are some things that she's helped with that go beyond her job and I don't tell her enough how grateful I am to her.

"Can you not tell anyone about what's going on at the moment. Not Peyton or even Mouth, I need some time." She nods and places a reassuring hand on my arm. I wish it were that easy to fix.

NO POV

It was dark by the time Brooke snuck into Peyton's house. She assumed that the blonde would be asleep but she found her sitting on the bed with a pair of headphones in her ear. Brooke stood at the door just watching her. She could remember the countless amounts of times that she found her doing this. Even though Peyton didn't hear the brunette, she felt like she could sense that someone was in the room. She looked in the direction of the door and smiled. She took her headphones off and got off the bed. "How long have you been standing there?" She asked walking towards the other girl.

"Not long." Peyton placed a kiss on Brooke's lips. The kiss was deepened and a moan escaped the brunette's mouth. Peyton started walking backwards, pulling Brooke with her. Peyton pulled away and brushed some hair from Brooke's face. Brooke had noticed the hunger in Peyton's eyes. The only time she had seen them since they were back was the day at the bridge. "I think it's time we get you out of these clothes Brooke."

It was another early morning when Peyton woke up. This time Brooke was still in bed, her head on her shoulder while her arm was draped across Peyton's stomach. She kissed the top of Brooke's head and stroked her hair. It was mornings like this that she felt contentment. There was no shaking this feeling she had. She wasn't clear why she had woken up and she was prepared to go back to sleep but for the second time in less than 12 hours, she felt a presence. She looked at her door and her eyes registered the sight before her. She had no words, just an opened mouth in shock.

A/N: I know that some of you thought it would be better for the story if Larry died but I just couldn't do it to Peyton, sorry.