A/N: Sorry for long update. Lavi seems like such a victim in this fic...sorry Lavi fans (I'm a total Lavi fan too in addition to being a huge Kanda fan as well) But don't worry...I HAVE DECIDED TO WRITE A SEQUEL! Featuring Lavi and his path for love! Now readers, please when you review, tell me what pairing do you want: LavixLenalee or LavixTyki ??? VOTE NOW.

Disclaimer: you should know it by now...

Chaptire 3 – Pain

And the next day Kanda Yu was proclaimed to have run away.

He was smiling again. Lavi noted to himself inwardly, Allen was using the same unreal smile once again. The redhead wondered why no one noticed the fakeness of his smile like he did. And if they did, why did they not ask as they continued to watch the pain…? But you're like that, aren't you? He felt a stab in his heart. It had been nearly a month since Kanda had ran away, but Lavi could still remember the despair written on Allen's face when the truth of Kanda's disappearance dawned over the boy. Lavi, closing his eyes, felt the choke of the memory strangle him once more.

It had been like any other day. Lavi woke up to his blaring alarm clock with a groan, and had groggily gotten ready to leave for school. He had had cereal that morning, and had taken the pleasure of soaking the flakes until they were so mushy they seemed to be like oatmeal. It was kind of gross to swallow down, but a very interesting texture nevertheless. As usual he had taken the bus partway to school before getting off at his stop to walk the rest of the way. The day had been chilly, with the breeze of autumn nipping at the crooks of uncovered skin. When he had arrived he had immediately spotted Allen, but not Kanda. And that was quite strange, considering that Yu was one to wake up early and be one of the first to arrive to school. A strange anxiety had gripped Allen, as if he could sense something was about and terribly wrong. And then Kanda's chauffer had come to Lavi, only to deliver the horrid news. Lavi watched the disbelief, denial, and finally a desolate acceptance of the news written to visibly on Allen's features.

Lavi felt the earth rumble like an earthquake around him. That face, that expression, that one of millions he wished to hold. And then there were tears, and Lavi thought he himself was about to break.

Allen's head snapped in a turn, as he dashed away. Why didn't anyone notice him? Was he the only one aware of this pain? Lavi chased after him to the roof of the school. It was a strange but horrible thing, to see someone break right in front of you. To watch someone you cared for break right in front of you.

"Allen." He whispered.

No response.

"Allen."

The white haired boy rushed to the older man's side, seeking anything to hold on to. It was such a feeble bond that had held Kanda and him together. And when he left there was nothing left. His scent, his warmth, and the mere feel of him close all gone within a blink of an eye. And all Allen had left was his words…his promise. That it felt as if it would shatter and break any given moment without a sign was what scared the boy most. The fact that he couldn't hear his music any more is what hurt him most.

But within it all was a new beginning as Lavi swore to himself that he would never let the other boy cry again. Not just because of the agony of Allen, but the knowledge of that if Lavi were ever to see that scene again, he'd surely break as well.

"Tell me about him," Allen whispered with his head on Lavi's lap. It was a sunny day, and a month had long since passed from the day Kanda had left. Lavi's hands stroked through the white hair affectionately. He loved the boy laid on his lap, but as most love went it was unrequited love.

"He was quiet.

"And he loved to eat soba, and to drink his tea

"He was born in Japan and raised there until he was three

"But was brought here to live when his father's other son died in an accident

"He misses Japan, even when all he can remember are vague memories

"He loves spring

"The reason why he acts so antisocial in the first place is because he doesn't want people that only want to be his friend because of his last name

"He's actually very lonely…and very sad."

Allen didn't cry then, but he looked far away. As if he was where Kanda was, watching over him. As if he was seeing a dream and wish only he could see. As if somewhere in between both he and Kanda were there, without promises of feeble things to get in the way. As if they were in an unconditional world where they only needed to bring themselves.

Lavi felt a pang of loneliness in his chest.

Allen was alone in the music room, a usual for him now. As he tried to play a piece his hands shook badly. Each time it started to shake he'd hold his hands to his chest, inhaling and exhaling raggedly. When his eyes were closed all he could see was red. I want to see him. I want to be with him. When has his scent and warmth drifted away from here?

And he'd take a deep breath, closing his eyes and began to play. He'd wait, but would still continue to play the beloved piano. Because even when all has left him, he still needed to play and move onwards. It was his lifeline in a sea of immense darkness.

Where is he? Where is he?

I love him so much.

It was December when Lavi asked Allen the question, holding up two tickets with a wide grin.

"How about hanging out with me for the holiday?"