A new chapter! I bet you're thinking 'finally!!!' . But so far I have one vote for LavixTykki! So please vote people for the sequel. AND ALSO, there's some Lavi bashing here...err...please don't be so hard on Lavi-san!!! T___T p-please...? Even if Allen seems like the major victim in this story, I personally think Lavi is the one in most pain... BUT NEVERTHELESS, off to the story and please review! (And PLEASE no bashing of characters no matter how OOC they seem...)
DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own any characters...
Chaptire 4 – Unknown Agony
It was December when Lavi asked Allen the question, holding up two tickets with a wide grin.
"How about hanging out with me for the holiday?"
"Eh?" Allen went, scratching his head. He watched Lavi's eyes sparkle with excitement, and he knew even then that he couldn't possibly refuse his request no matter how hard he would try to resist. Allen just hoped that it wasn't bad.
"As I said," the redhead informed him while holding up a gloved finger, "what do you think about hanging out with me for Christmas holidays." Allen could see his breath and Lavi's as well, faint white translucent puffs hanging in the winter air. It was a painful silence of winter that made Allen feel slightly sad. Every one and every thing so quiet, excluding the crunch of snow beneath your feat, was a deathly silence. Slowly with his black-gloved hands he reached to trap them in his hands. But when he opened his palm there was nothing. An ephemeral puff, impossible to capture and keep. And all of the sudden Allen was drowning in the thoughts and feelings he had for Kanda. The longing, the love, and the broken shards of glass that pierced him as his every memory with him. The bitterness one possessed when loving another mixed so deeply with the sugary sweetness was what Allen now thought of was love. How something so sweet could have such a sour aftertaste was truly a mystery. It broke him and broke him into pieces so small it could barely be seen by the naked eye, but then it would patch him all up again, teetering once more on the mountain, as if waiting for the fall.
And then Lavi broke the silence of winter's spell, "Well, since winter break is soon there are a lot of draws and such, and when I entered one for a trip across the sea I sort of won."
"Sort of won?"
"Well, Allen, I won a trip for two to America!" Lavi grinned with the outburst, unable to keep in the news any further. It was rather exciting news after all. "And I want you to come with me!"
"Me?" Allen's mouth gaped open as he pointed to himself. He couldn't help the joy that crawled from within him, stretching all the way to the smile in his expression.
"Yes you, silly!" Lavi jokingly giggled.
And that was only the start of their adventure.
--
The flight from Japan to America was long and tiring, but after a day's rest the two were fully recovered and giddy with adventure. The hotel rooms were spacious and the staff was courteous and kind. Allen truly felt welcomed in America. It was all so surprising and sudden for the boy, but Lavi with a casual smile fit in and settled quite fine. Another surprise was Lavi's skill in the English language. And when Allen asked Lavi about it, the redhead winked and grinned, not offering an answer.
It was snowing there as well, but in the busy city everything was magical. All the lights, skyscrapers and miscellaneous buildings seemed to shine with something quite like fairy dust. And even the beings that were there seemed to have been touched by an angel. Allen smiled and watched the children with their parents. He watched the children beg and nag at their guardians for this and that. Ah, the power of Christmas.
They were to be there sightseeing for two weeks and the days seemed to fly by as quick as a hawk in the air. And soon it was their last night there. It was ten o'clock when Lavi tapped on Allen's door. Allen answered with a smile.
"Up for a walk?" Lavi asked and the white haired boy gladly accepted, dressing quickly and warmly. They both knew the surrounding area pretty well by now, so getting lost was one of their least of their worries. Lavi's eye caught on something interesting, and he told Allen to go into the restaurant first. Since Allen was after all British, his English was fine enough to be alone for a while. Allen was slightly puzzled by his behavior but complied all the same. And Lavi stalked towards the park across the street, and sat himself on one of the park benches.
"Yu-chan."
The head of the figure beside him whipped a glare towards the redhead purely by instinct as he barked, "Don't call me that!" That was also by instinct. The annoyance melted into a mask of surprise. "L-Lavi? What're you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same," Lavi gave him a light smile and continued, "What're you doing here?"
"Stuff," Kanda growled, "Now tell me why you're here."
Lavi huffed and smugly stated with a playful smirk, "Stuff." Kanda's eyes bored into him for a moment before he propped himself back onto the bench with a sigh.
"I've been doing performances with my flute."
"Explain." Lavi said, with a serious expression, "And please the edited quick version, I've got a date to keep up." Kanda raised his eyebrows, but with the look the redhead gave him, the don't-even-think-of-avoiding-the-issue-with-a-question-of-your-own look, he picked up from the beginning.
"I didn't leave Japan without thinking," Yu spoke with his voice hushed and calm, "I had a plan, and I had it since one of my first encounters with Allen. With the money I had saved up I planned on going to America with only my flute and some other stuff. I planned on being scouted for my skills, and becoming famous enough so that it could even reach all the way back to Japan. So in that way my family could see me as a flutist instead of a pianist they ideal me as, and possibly even take a step in accepting the path I wish to take. But I guess things don't always go as planned, and even when I was here the agencies refused me. So I played at subway stations and outside, because my money was growing low and I had no other path to turn to. But it became a routine, and the days went by how much money I made. Some days it was so bad that my stomach was more or less empty because of it. But, I continued, and my efforts finally prevailed. A scout found me while heading home by subway, and he told me my playing captured him. And now I'm doing performances with a steady pay and contract."
There was silence. The background noises drifted to their ears like a piece in the process of being composed. The low hum of vehicles in the busy streets with occasional honks, the laughter of children frolicking about in the snow with their high pitched giggles and laughter, and the other various sounds of the city. It was almost like music to their ears, every small little detail.
"So what now?" Lavi finally asked.
"There's a big show coming up, no a huge show and I'll be playing there. It is said to be a big event, and I've been given a solo in it. This could be the chance of a lifetime, the once I've been working hard for." Kanda smiled, which was a rare sight.
The redhead nodded, "Yeah, it could, but when are you coming back to Japan?"
"Soon, if everything goes as planned."
"But how long is soon?" Lavi finally snapped, "Don't you get it at all? Allen misses you every day every second, not knowing where you are and if you're safe! He won't admit it but his health is depleting day by day. He needs you, Kanda, he really does… No matter how I try or wish, I can't replace your place beside him. He won't ever need me the way he needs you." That left Kanda in chocked silence, and in hurtling pain when he heard of Allen's condition. Guilt, lost, and above all longing was what he was feeling. Then he came in realization, I miss you, Allen. And I think I truly love you, please wait a but longer, and I'll tell it to you. Just please…wait a bit longer.
"…In a few months, I should be back." The oriental man answered. Lavi sighed heavily but smiled slightly.
"Hey, go to the restaurant across the street, I want to catch up with you." The redhead spoke.
"Where're you going and you still haven't told me why you're even here." Kanda asked, puzzled.
Lavi give a full out grin, "Don't worry, Yu-chan, I'll be there in just a sec, and I'll tell you everything there!"
"Don't call me that!" He growled but complied.
"I'll see you soon!" Lavi cried and Kanda gave a small wave without turning around. But Lavi would not be there, because he would be back at the hotel. He turned towards the place with his mind whirling with thoughts, and a pain wrenching at his heart, and getting worse every second.
"It's so hard to love someone, and it's so hard to see them be in pain while loving another. …It feels like I'm dying when all I want to be is happy for them." Lavi whispered, clutching his chest, as if his heart would explode any given second now. Like a ticking bomb ready to burst within him, he probably felt a pain much deeper then Kanda and Allen's combined. Since no one knew, they all believed the smile he gave out without much of a thought. For the sake of his love and the sake of his friend he wished the happiness, and anything within his power he could do for them. Even if it meant hurting himself while helping them, he would do it. Even when it meant the shattering of his own heart.