Loose Ends and New Beginnings
Summary: See ch1
Disclaimer: Still not mine
A/N: Okay, I am sooo sorry about the lack of updates! Like I can't even tell u, but school has been soo stressful. There are only three more weeks of class before finals though, so if u just put up with me a little longer, I promise that I will get better. I probably lost most of my readers, but for those that have stuck with me and my annoyance, thanks! Again, there may be a long time until the next update, but it will come I promise. I am still very much into this story, and have so many ideas for it.
Also, I started writing this before they found Olivia's brother in the show, so it's not going to follow that. Also, obviously, being that Elliot and Olivia are married, him and Kathy are still very much divorced (I don't know what Dick Wolf is planning to do with that in the next few episodes :( )
Anyway, for those have stuck with me, despite the lack of updates, thanks sooo much, you are the best! And I promise, as soon as school is over, updates will come in a timley manner!
Talk to Me
(A/N: Recall: Elliot and Olivia are checking phone records and e-mails with the Tech People, and Munch and Fin were tracking down records for all Judge Anderson's victims; Cragen warned Oliva that if she couldn't remain professional on the case, he would pull her, and Elliot voiced his concern)
"You get anything?" Cragen asked when Munch and Fin returned to the bullpen. Elliot and Olivia had yet to return.
"Just that this whole damn system is messed up." Fin huffed as he plopped into his desk chair. "There were twenty IDs in that shoe box. Each woman gave the same description of their rapist to cops for over thirty years, and no one even batted an eye at Anderson cause he's on the bench."
"Anderson wasn't on the bench the entire 30 years he was attacking women." Cragen sighed. "Did you get anything on them?"
"They're all clean." Munch stated.
"This has revenge killing written all over it." Cragen huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he leaned against on of the desks. "We'll have to take to each of them, and any immediate family members."
"Does anyone, other than me, have a problem with harassing rape victims and their families?" Fin asked, straightening up in his chair. "This dude ruined Benson's childhood in ways we're never gonna know, and now we're supposed to bring in the person who took him off the streets?" He continued. "This guy's been shattering women's lives for over 30 years. His doer should get a medal, not harassed by us." Fin finished his tone dangerously insubordinate.
"While I understand your point, it's not our jobs to decide who is and who isn't allowed to commit a crime. Someone breaks the law, we bring them in. It's as simple as that. If you've got a problem with it, you don't have to be on this case." Cragen countered.
"It's just wrong. That's all I'm sayin." He simply huffed under his breath.
Before Cragen and Fin could continue, Elliot and Olivia walked in from TARU (A/N: thanks guys!! This is the actual name for the technichal unit)
"Please tell me you two have something." Cragen almost pleaded.
"Anderson was getting about twenty phone calls a week from the same number; none lasting any more than a minute." Olivia said, handing copies of the phone logs around the circle of officers.
"Just enough time to say a few threatening words and hang up." Cragen noted. "Please tell me we can get a trace on this."
"Fraid not. Pre-paid cell." Elliot answered.
"So then we're back to where we started. We know nothing." Cragen huffed.
"We know that Anderson was a rapist." Olivia mumbled under her breath.
Cragen ignored her, and continued with what he had to do. "Okay, I want you four to split the list of victims in half. Each pair take one half, and interview them and any close family. Start off trying to find out who knew who their attackers were, and go from there."
"Cap, what if we're barking up the wrong tree?" Olivia interjected. It was one thing working this case, but she didn't know if she'd be able to accuse people who had been hurt in the way her mother had been.
"This case stinks of revenge. This is the only taint we can find on Anderson's record. Until we get another lead, we follow this one down." Cragen said.
"Anderson was a big guy Cap; do you really think any of those women in those IDs could have over powered him long enough to sodomize him?" She pressed.
"That's why we're also looking at the victim's families." He re-iterated.
"I just don't think that we should put all our resources in harassing rape victims. They've been through enough." She fought, her voice stern.
"Well unfortunately, they're the only suspects we have at the moment. Anderson is the victim now, and it's our job to do whatever we can to bring his murderer to justice. If you have a problem with that Detective, no one is making you stay on this case." He said in a reprimanding tone.
Olivia huffed heavily. "Fine." She simply answered, making her disgust known. She grabbed the folder of names from Fin's hand huffed into one of the meeting rooms.
No one said anything. They all knew that this had to be getting to her, but no one wanted to be the one to say it.
"I'll talk to her." Elliot offered. In addition to be being his partner for his this case, she was his wife too after all.
He made his way across the bullpen and cautiously pushed open the door to the room Olivia had just disappeared into.
She heard him, but decided to ignore his presence.
He closed the door gently to give them some privacy.
"Cragen's right you know. You don't have to stay on this case if it's too hard." He said from behind her.
"It's not too hard. I can do it." She said simply, not turning to face him. Elliot could tell that she was fighting tears.
"Liv, no one's gonna think any less of you if you take a back seat on this one. Anderson raped your mother; you shouldn't be expected to bring his killer to justice." Elliot tried, keeping his stance by the door. He knew that Olivia would acknowledge him when she was ready.
"I'm not sorry he's dead Elliot." She said, sniffing quickly. "What he did… he deserved what he got. But I can't be taken off this case. I have to know what happened." She shook her head and paused for a moment before continuing. "Half of my life has been missing for 30 years. I need to know who he was, no matter how horrible. And who knows, maybe I have family out there somewhere, maybe they'll want me."
Elliot had heard enough. He walked to her and knelt next to her. "You have family right here who wants you." He said, taking her hands in his. "You have a family right here who needs you."
She offered him a weak smile.
"Now, I know that you can do this, but you don't have to. You have nothing you need to prove to any of us." He continued. "You know just as well as I do that you're gonna see your Mom in every one of those women." He said, indicating the folder, unopened on the table. "Do you really think you're gonna be able to be objective on this one?" He asked.
Olivia was silent for a moment. "I need to know who killed him." She stated under her breath, staring past Elliot.
"Are you going to be able to arrest that person?" He asked.
The tears that were threatening to fall finally won their battle, and started silently streaming down Olivia's cheeks. She pushed Elliot out of the way, and propelled herself out of the chair and across to the window in the room. She folded her arms tightly against her body, and willed herself to focus on anything going on outside that room; outside of her.
"It's okay if you can't." Elliot simply said, trying to find the right words to console her. "This doesn't mean that you're any less of a cop. We all have our limits."
"That's not what's making me upset." She said, letting out a small laugh.
"Then what is it?" He pushed, gently placing his hands on her shoulders.
She shuddered under his touch, but he didn't let go.
"Talk to me." He urged her.
"I can't arrest the person that killed him because I can't say that I wouldn't do the same thing if given the chance." She finally blurted out. As she made her confession her tears opened up, and she became angry.
She spun around, and pushed her husband away from her. She didn't feel that she deserved him there holding her.
"If I had known who he was back in that courtroom, I can't say that I wouldn't have taken out my gun and shot the bastard myself!" She said, yelling now. "He ruined my childhood; he killed my mother! He deserved what he got, and I only wish that I had gotten to be the one to pull the trigger! What the hell does that make me Elliot? What kind of monster? I'm no better than he is." She said, finally collapsing into sobs.
Elliot rushed to catch her before her weeping body fell to the floor. He sat there, in the middle of the cold cinderblock room, with Olivia breaking in his arms.
"I almost gave up my life for him." She whispered after what seemed like forever of nothing but the sound of sobs. "He came to our wedding. He had a picture of 'his daughter' on her wedding day on his mantel. He died thinking that I actually gave a damn about him." She said.
"You were doing your job." Elliot answered, taking her face in his hands. He wiped the hair out of her face. It was sticking to her cheeks because of her drying tears.
"But I hate that Elliot. I wish that he died knowing the truth; that he was alone in this world. That he was alone, and that no body gave a damn if he lived or died. I wish that the last thing that man saw in life was his 'little girl' pulling the trigger to end his sorry life." She said, pausing to catch her breath. "And that makes me just as bad as him."
"You are nothing like him." Elliot said firmly. "No one can blame you for wanting to take revenge for your mother. You watched her go through things that no daughter should ever have to see her mother go through. Anderson had no reason to end your mother's life the way he did. You have every reason to want to see him dead. That doesn't make you a monster, it only makes you human." He said, stroking her cheek gently.
He could tell that Olivia still didn't believe him, so he continued. "Olivia, your father was a cold man, who didn't care about anyone but himself. You couldn't be more opposite. I've watched you Liv. He hurt people, you help them. You save victim's lives every day. You save my life every day. You're a natural with my kids. You'd never hurt anyone, unless provoked. He takes lives, you save them. There's a difference." He finished.
"Cragen was right." She answered, after seriously taking what he had said to her to heart. "I can't be on this case anymore. It's too hard."
"I'll let him know." Elliot assured her gently.
"Thank you." She whispered, burying her head into Elliot's chest.
"You don't have to thank me for anything. I was just reminding you of the truth." He smiled, stroking her hair gently.
"I don't know what I did to deserve you." She said, lifting her head to meet his gaze for the first time since the beginning of their encounter.
"You were just you." He answered, kissing her softly. "I'll go let Cragen know. You get washed up." He said, before finally releasing her.
As Olivia walked out of the room and into the nearest ladies room, Elliot silently thanked God for letting Olivia trust him enough to break down like that in front of him. He prayed for Him to give her the strength to get through this, and then made his way across the bullpen to his Captain's office.
TBC... Again, the next update may take a while, but it will come! REVIEW! (please)