Chapter 9
Hello Mon petite pallies! i am sorry for all the doom and gloom in the stories. If it's too sad for you then please tell me! I like criticism. It helps me to write better stories! I hope you are enjoying it so far this chapter is exceptionally long so don't read it if you only have 5 minutes. There are around 21 pages of writing. I just couldn't stop writing!
Anyway enjoy!
2 sleeps till xmas day!
Xx
3 days before school play
3 days before the school play. That is scary potatoes on high.
20 minutes later
I think I have learned all my lines…apart from the bit where robin and Marian tell each other that they love each other. That would be a bit awkward considering the circumstances.
Still getting ready
Because we are doing a lot of rehearsal today and I will be dancing around on stage (not literally) I think I will tie my hair up.
Hmmm. not as good as I thought. It's a bit of a big lump at the back of my head. I need it cut soon because it is so0o0 thick. I won't ask mutti this time because of what happened last time. Probably best not to think about it.
20 minutes later
Mum has asked me to help get Libby ready for playgroup. First I must get her dressed.
5 minutes later
That could be a problem, considering she is threatening to hit me with a screwdriver (where she got it I don't know) and she has very good aim. So I used the lounge cushions to protect myself, and used those tackling skills to wrestle her to the floor and tug a pair of pants on her bum. She is always surprisingly cold, and when I was struggling to get her dressed, she started blowing raspberries in my eyes.
AAAHHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES! THEY ARE DISEASED! HELP ME!!
"Bad boy! Im cleansin your eyes"
If that's what you call it….I will need psychological and physical therapy to make me see clearly again. But knowing my luck she will then scratch my eyes to try and make it better.
On my way to school
Finally left the house of the mad, after Libby threw some shoes at me and poured porridge over Angus. Then she stared making a trail of cheerios that lead from the kitchen to my room. Angus became a Hoover and was following her eagerly, but when she noticed him eating them-she bashed him hard over the head with her fist.
I swear she was brought up by some criminally insane person who is quite violent.
She must get a lot of her personality from dad.
3 minutes later
Anyway, I am walking to school on my own today, because yet again jas has run off with hunky to do extra practice. This means that I am liable to accidents and I will not be saved in an emergency. That is how sad my life is.
And because today is such a good day, the foxwood boys are being very….social.
"Get them out love! Show us what you got!"
"Dya need a help carrying them?"
In a bush
Oh great. Just what I need. So to stop myself being humiliated, I walked really fast (but not to fast so that my nungas wobbled) and as a result, I slipped on ice (the damn thing!) and flew into a bush.
Poo.
The boys found it hilarious though.
This really isn't my day. I have been attacked by a savage child and slipped on ice for the second time. My life is perfect. And it's almost Christmas-so it can only get better…..
At school in the hall
"DRESS REHERSAL!"
"Yes Georgia…now…have you brought your costume with you?"
1 minute later
I had just arrived in the hall with a cut down my knee and my hair was a mess, to find out that everyone was dressed in costume and where already rehearsing. I felt like a twit.
"No miss Wilson I don't have my costume. I was not aware of the dress rehearsal! No one told me anything!"
"Ok Georgia. Don't get upset. We have many costumes in the big box behind the scenery."
I plodded over to the box of costumes. This really wasn't my day. I don't even want to rehearse any more.
On stage rehearsing.
Oh bugger. I have forgotten my next line. This is because Danny just smiled at me and all of a sudden my insides melted. (Not literally because that could cause a mess.) But no! I shouldn't be feeling like this about Danny! I love Dave! I told Danny this and I believed it for a moment! I won't let his gorgeous face and amazing smile and brilliant acting skills or his muscular arms (I couldn't help look at them) fool me into thinking he is the one.
2 minutes later
I WANT A BISCUIT!!
There. I have said it. But I haven't said my line-and everyone is staring at me like deranged penguins (?) because I haven't said my line. Aahhhhh myyyy goooooosh!
"Umm, I ummm…." this is going nowhere
Danny decided to step in. "the line is 'you look very handsome today'.
What? Did he make that up or is it actually the line? I don't think I can trust him….
But at that moment miss Wilson stepped in.
"Georgia. Please say the line 'you look very handsome today.' we don't have time for mistakes."
30 seconds later
"Ummm yer, you look umm, very handsome today…" the moment I had finished the line all the boys started whistling and someone laughed. Great. My acting is humiliating. But Danny didn't see it that way, he was smiling at me, and I swear he went pink. I turned to the audience to see Dave scowling up at me and Danny. Great. That is all I need. An 'unlaugh' who hates me, giving me the evils when I cocked up my line (figure of speech people...)
Miss Wilson was now shouting from the side of the stage..." yes! Well done Georgia. Now. On come the merry men..."
At that point Dave and Rollo came onto the stage. I had to move to the side a bit so I wasn't in the lime light. But as I waited for my next line, I was watching Dave…
2 minutes later
He really is a good actor; he had a voice and everything. But he didn't look at me once. Even when he was supposed to say good morning to me. He just missed it out. But Miss Wilson didn't seem to notice, she was to busy bouncing around at the side of the stage to notice.
20 minutes later
Herr kamyer has just entered the hall, and now Miss Wilson is jumping around like a deranged watsit with no sense of direction.
1 minute
Oh my, I think she might fall over in a minute. Or just knock someone out with her hands because she is waving them around like a mad dance routine. I think he has noticed her looking at him. Because now he is tripping up on peoples bags and wobbling round like a German sausage!
"Umm. Mizz vilson! Vould you are able to accompany me o ze outside? I need words."
Too right you do. In a minute I think his head will explode or his legs will give way.
"Umm, yes, ok mr kamyer, I will be with you in a second. ummm, children please keep rehearsing, I will only be a minute." and with that she danced over to the sausage- I mean, her kamyer, and together they managed to eventually walk out the room. It would have helped if they had stopped looking at each other foe a moment. Then maybe Miss Wilson wouldn't have walked into the door. Twice.
30 minutes later
Eventually Miss Wilson came back. Her skirt was all crumpled, im guessing she fell in a bush. We didn't rehearse any more because the boys had to go. I was fed up of rehearsing anyway. Everyone was mucking around and people kept disappearing off for a quick snog with their partners. (If only I was so lucky.) I sat on the stage next to Danny. I didn't talk to him at all. it was all his fault that I had fallen out with Dave. And I was really upset.
Rosie and jools were playing with the scenery, Rosie decided to try and climb the ' castle wall' it was only cardboard so she knocked it over and it toppled onto the friars hut which fell into the light which were being held up by p. green. She then has a spaz attack and ran into the costume box which flew off the stage and into jas and tom on the floor. Everything fell down and it was all a big mess. But eventually we got all the scenery up before miss Wilson came back. I don't think she would have been able to cope with broken scenery; she was having enough trouble controlling herself around Herr kamyer.
1 hour later
Tomorrow we don't have any rehearsals, so we are doing normal lessons. But the teachers have decided to change our timetable so that we have double hockey in the morning. Then math's and English and then revision lessons in the afternoon. So it should be okay.
End of school
Me and that gang are walking home. Rosie was really excited.
"Hey guys! Guess what!"
"You are buying a moose?" said jools
"You are not actually a Viking?" said jas. I think she meant it as a joke, but Rosie glared at her so hard that I thought her head would pop off.
"No jas. It is really good news." said Rosie. Who was going pick because she was staring so hard. "My mum and dad said that you and the boys can all come over on Christmas day- in the evening, if you want. We can go in one of the spare rooms downstairs and they all have log fires and huge glass doors and fluffy carpet. So it will be comfy and we will all be together at Christmas!"
The gang all stared at her. Jas was opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish, and jools was smiling so wide that I thought she was on crack.
"Wow! That would be amazing! With all the guys?"
"Yes mabs, all the guys. "Rosie looked really chuffed with herself.
I on the other hand, felt like someone had put snow down my bra. Noooo! Why the boys! I don't think can handle being with all the smoochy couples for a happy evening at Christmas. Rosie will probably invite Dave, and it will be awkward, and we will argue and it will all be complete poonosity on high!
I just want to be with my friends. And not think about love. My life is so poo.
1 minute later
None of the gang noticed that I was upset. Instead they kept walking, and talked about their boyfriends and the presents they had bought them and how they were romantic and how Christmas was great. Right now I wanted to be sick.
Home
When I got inside I went straight up to bed. I didn't really want to listen to Christmas songs or watch romantic movies or eating mince pies…….
On second thought. A mince pie would do me good. Keep me warm and happy. And so what if I get fat! No one loves me to care! Ha-ha!
Ok so maybe two turned into three, and four, five, six and then the whole of the second packet.
Many mince pies later
Very full now.
I could pass off as Santa now. I just need a beard. Red suits me I think. But I can't ride a bike let alone a slay.
Ho hum pigs bum.
Live and let live I say.
Well actually I don't but I do now.
Because I am lady Santa. And what I say goes!
I feel very powerful now. And quite fat. Im going to bed…
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Two days before school play
Woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs. Mmm mmm…
I went downstairs feeling wide awake and could see that the kitchen table had been laid and there was Libby sitting sensibly at the table eating porridge. Her hair was neat and when I went into the kitchen she said "hello!" wow. This was beginning to look quite scary.
But then I turned to get milk from the fridge and completely froze. Dave was standing at my cooker wearing only red boxers and a red apron. I could have fainted then an there. His arms were much muscled and he turned to smile at me.
"Morning sex kitty."
I rubbed my eyes. I couldn't believe it. But then something wet hit the back of my head and I turned around.
Just my luck. Libby wasn't sitting at the table sensibly; she was standing on the chair hurling porridge at me. "Die dies bad boy!"
Oh great. I just about managed to dodge the flying porridge. I then quickly turned around, hoping Dave was still there wearing only his pants, when to my horror I noticed dad was only wearing small red boxers. His big fat hairy belly was wobbling about.
5 minutes later
"Morning Georgia. Want some bacon?"
"You bought bacon? Food?"
He chuckled to himself so his belly wobbled. I thought I was going to be sick.
"No gee, that would be a waste. This is from my mate Barney-his pig died from an unknown disease yesterday. So he gave me its legs."
Oh great, now I really was going to be sick, and probably knocked unconscious by the flying porridge. I ran out the room before anything else bad happened.
What a start to my morning. And now I have to go to school.
Walking to school
Well it's not raining outside and I remembered my scalf so I am nice and warm. Apart from my nose. It is so big that it would need a hat all for itself. Now it has gone bright red. Next thing you know, Santa will send me a letter asking if I can be recruited for one of his reindeer.
But I dint look as bad as jas. She looked like a penguin with a fringe. She had a big puffy coat on and thick yellow socks to 'stop her feet from getting frostbite.'
"It's not that cold jas."
"You only say that because you have a jumper on under your school jumper, and you have gloves and a scalf. You probably don't feel the cold as much as me."
I will take that as a compliment.
She also had her white scalf and black gloves on. And because she was shivering, her fringe was dancing around like a mad thing. It was very annoying.
At school
The playground wasn't as full as it was yesterday, because the boys are not at school. They are catching up on work and we have to have normal lesson. Poo.
In p.e
Miss stamp must have missed us. She was watching us get changed (as she does) and I swear she was smiling. Her moustache has also grown. That's probably why she isn't as cold as everyone else.
"Come on girls! It's almost Christmas and we need to stay fit and healthy! Then you will be abler to eat lots of mince pies and no get fat!"
Well I have failed that test then. But eventually we all started running around the pitch. There were lots of piles of mud, and p green got stuck down a rabbit hole. She threw her hands in the air and her stick flew out of her hands and straight into wet Lindsay's face. I fell about laughing but then she saw me.
"That's a bad conduct mark fro you Nicolson! And any more mockery and I will have you put in detention for the rest of the school term!"
Wow someone isn't very happy now are they? She probably forgot to put her fake boobs in. she is looking very flat today. I thought I would tell her that, but miss stamp got us into groups and we started a game.
20 minutes later
It was me with Rosie and jas and some other girls called lottie and Hannah and stef. They are quite good. Then on the other team there was jools and wet Lindsay with Ellen and n.p green and mabs. There was also miss stamp because we were short of players. That's because all the chavs were 'having the painters in' at the same time. Well they will get fat and even uglier over Christmas then.
I on the other hand-will be beautiful and slim with a good complexion and having a great time over Christmas. I wish. The mince pies have already started to go to my legs. As long as they don't go to my nungas im fine..
Yet again I forgot to wear my over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. And I am wobbling like slim (almost.) and her many chins! What a disaster!
30 minutes later
Its 3-0 to us. I got the second goal after tripped over her shoelace and fell flat on her face. Jools tried to get the ball back but I was to quick and did an amazing shot, straight into the net. WOOOOO!
But then wet weed of the sea came over and poked her bony self into my stomach. It was like being attacked by twigs, so I went to shove her out the way; however that didn't wok as she just did a stupidly dramatic fall and I got fowled. Now she has a free shot at the goal poonosity on high I say!
20 minutes later
HAHA! SHE MISSED! It was very good. Should be made a film. Five stars for the crap shot by the weed! She went to do this great shot which would have got her the goal. But then she missed the ball and Rosie went after it and dribbled it out of her way. She got in a tizzy and stood stropping for about 5 minutes.
1 minute later
Still stropping. Jools and jas had a moment of tackling. They can get very competitive and it ended with jas passing to stef who then effortlessly slipped it in the goal.
Half an hour later- end of first half
Im pooped! I have no energy left. That shows how unfit I am. But the rest of the team is ready to go. But because miss stamp cares about me so much (a little bit too much if you ask me...) we are having a ten minute break.
End of game
Now I actually have noo energy left. We played the second half and scored 4 goals. I almost died when I tripped over legs. She says she was having a rest. By sitting in the middle of the pitch? I think not. She was probably trying to get up from the last time she fell over.
Getting changed
Yet again miss stamp is watching us get changed.
"Well done today Georgia."
"Thanks miss."
"I can see you don't need to get thinner after Christmas. nice figure you've got there."
Ok now I scared. I hurriedly got changed and ran out the changing room. The gang followed quickly, but they were laughing their heads off. I thought Rosie was going to hyperventilate.
Lunch time!
Sitting on the botty toaster-hiding from Hitler youth. it has been a tiring morning. And yet again I am scavenging off of my bestie chum.
"Jaaaas..."
"Yes gee."
"Can I have some cheesy puff?"
"No."
"bu-"
"No!"
"Ok. *sniff sniff* I understand *sniff sniff* I will just starve."
"well…you can have one."
"Thanks!"
5 minutes later
Eating all of jas' cheesy puffs. They are nice. I may have to eat her midget gems too. But before I could ask she had shoved the whole packet (including the wrapper) in her mouth.
"What was that for? I was only going to ask you for one!"
"Mmm mmm."
"What?"
"mmm. Mmm!"
"Pardon, I didn't get that…."
She had gone red by now and was struggling to keep the packet in her mouth.
"MMM MMM!"
"Oh ok. You should have said that the first time." no I didn't actually catch a word of what she said, but I had given up asking.
In math's
Our math's teacher has gone home ill. So instead, Miss Wilson is going to do Christmas carols with us! How fun. We have started with 'away in a manger'. It was all going well. (I.e. boring and pointless) when Rosie stood up and shouted PANTS!
"Away in a manger, no PANTS! For a bed. The little lord Jesus lay down on sweet PANTS!" this set the whole year off in hysterics. Miss Wilson was going red and she looked like she was about to cry.
"NO GIRLS! It is bed! Don't mock the beauty of this hymn. Why do you have to be so childish?"
Rosie then shouted "we are not childish miss! We are just alive with the sound of PANTS!" Then the whole of the gang stood up and sung 'the hills are alive with the sound of pants!' The rest of the year was clapping along and some were swaying. But as I was singing, I thought of Dave, and when he first sung the pants song. it made me sad. I really missed him even though it had only been a day since I last saw him (and he was being an unlaugh) I felt happy when I was around him. I always looked forward to the occasional snogs behind the scenery.
Then when we had finished, someone went over to the piano and started playing 'all I want for Christmas' we all stood up and sung our hearts out! Some people went on the stage and danced! It was great fun. By now Miss Wilson had lost all control and was sitting on the side of the stage, humming along to the tune.
German
German was a laugh as well. Because it is our last German lesson of the term, we are learning a 'German dance'. This means that we have to get up and dance around like Herr kamyer.
"Now girlz! Ve must shake to ze left und Zen shake to ze right! Like zo…"
He got up and did this funny wiggle that looked like he was trying to hula without a hoop. We all got up and copied him.
"That's it girlz! Viggle! Viggle like you never viggled before!"
This sent us all of in to fits of laughter.
"No giggle! Viggle!"
By now Rosie was on the floor, and Ellen was slowly falling over. It was a hoot and a half!
1 hour later
We finally managed to get up to go to art when the lesson finished. Herr kamyer seemed puzzled as to why we were laughing so much. But in the end he laughed to. This made us laugh as well. Oh joys unbounded!
10 minutes later
In art we painted snow men and Father Christmas'. Jas was being serious with hers, but me and Rosie gave ours a blonde wig and high heel shoes. Ellen tried to paint a reindeer, but it looked like an overstuffed dog with a huge nose. She was quite proud of it though, so we decided not to comment on it.
But because me and Rosie got bored, we started painting beards and moustaches on each others faces, I gave her a pink spotted one, and she gave me a green one with blue stripes. We left the class room with serious faces and Miss Amor looked at us like Herr kamyer without his lederhosen. (Don't know where that came from….I will send it back immediately.)
3:00 pm
Walking home with my chumleys! we have been singing 'when Santa got stuck up the chimney' and we shout in really load voices 'YOU GIRLS AND BOYS WONT GET ANY TOYS IF YOU DON'T OULL ME OUT!' it really is a bundle of laughs.
Walking with jas
The rest of the gang has gone their separate ways. So now it is just me and jas; she wants to go to the park to see tom, he's playing football with the rest of them. I don't really want to, but because she is my bestie I decided I would.
In the park
Jas has run over to tom while he is being goalie, and almost got knocked out with the ball, I tried to stifle a laugh, but looked like I was holding my breathe. In the end I hid behind a tree and almost peed myself laughing.
5 minutes later
While I was laughing like a loon from loonville, Dave came round the tree (oo-er) and stared at me sitting on the floor in hysterics.
"You ok gee?"
I immediately got up and walked away. He can't just pick and choose when and where he wants to be nice and kind to me or if he wants to be a prize poo (don't start that again) and slag me off in front of my friends!
2 minutes later
But sadly he is persistent…
"Gee wait, I want to talk to you."
"Well I don't want to talk to you Dave. I know you're pissed off with me, and I don't want to make it worse."
"But gee, I have something to say."
"Just don't Dave."
"Why won't you just listen to me?"
"Because im always listening, but never being listened to!"
And with that, I walked out of the park. I could hear him following me. So I walked faster and then he walked faster. Then I walked even faster, and then he jogged behind me. Was this ever going to end?
5 minutes later
Great. Now I am running. But I can hear Dave running as well.
5 minutes later
He caught up with me and put his arms round my waist to stop me running away.
"Dave get off me!"
"Not till you let me say what I want to say to you."
"Go on then, say it."
"Georgia, sorry for what I said, I think it would be ok if you and Danny!"
"NO!" there was no way I was going to hear it! No way! So before he could finish, I shrugged myself away from his grip and ran for my life.
When I had got to my road, I turned to see if he was there, but he wasn't. Few.
At home
There was no way in Sandra pajamas that I was going to let him say that! No way! Because that was not what I wanted him to say- and I would never agree to it. He obviously hadn't been listening to me when I had been shouting at him before. No one ever listens.
Eating mince pies
That is officially the last packet of mince pies gone. They were actually calling my name- and like a good person should I listened to them. Now I sill never go hungry again. And I can't eat anymore of them. I feel ill.
1 minute later
Nope I wasn't ill. I just needed to burp.
30 seconds later
That's much better. Now I will sit and watch a Christmas carol. That should be a nice film.
Im glad im not scrooge….
How could you ever hate Christmas??
Maybe I should go to bezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Ok now I only have 3 more chapters to go. But I won't post the last one till after Christmas day! Because I don't have time, and no one wants to be on the computer on Christmas day. No one has reviewed this chapter. So im going to put the next one up and hope people do. I will finish this, no matter what. But some reviews would be nice….
Thank you for reading. If you have….
Only 2 sleeps left!! Xx