Tale Number 4: Emmett and the anime Death Note

Note: Make sure you watch the real, full version of 'What's Up People?' On YouTube before you read this story. It's going to be funnier that way, trust me. (winks)

It would've been a boring, dreary day-off if it weren't for Alice, the family's party animal.
When she saw everyone just lying around doing nothing in the morning, she came up with a wild suggestion.

"Come on guys! Let's have a rock star party!"

"Um, what?" Recently Emmett's been hard of hearing. (I know this can never be physically possible for a vampire, but stay with me, okay?)

He turned to Rosalie, who just came in the house from the back door.

"Hey babe, do you need to go hunting some more? You still look pretty black in the eyes to me."

"I don't feel that thirsty today, Emmett. I'm full."

"What?"

Rosalie repeated a little louder: "I'm full!"

"What!? Talk louder, woman!"

Rosalie rubbed a hand over her stomach to emphasize her words.

"I. Am. Full!"

"YOU'RE PREGNANT!?"

"NO, YOU DUMBBUTT!" Rosalie was screaming at the top of her lungs now. She walked up to Emmett and pulled his ear close to her mouth.

"I DON'T WANT TO HUNT ANYMORE!"

"Sheesh lady, why didn't you say so?"

Jasper and Edward sniggered from upstairs. Alice sighed impatiently.

"Guys! I'm trying to talk here!"

Emmett and Rosalie turned to their petite sister who was barely as tall as the sofa.

"Yes Alice?"

"As I was saying, why don't we have a party where all of us could sing songs?"

"That sounds cool! We can call it a Cullen concert!" Emmett said.

"Edward! Jasper! Bella! Carlisle! Esme! Alice wants to have a rock star party!" Rosalie called.

"We get to sing and dance?" Jasper looked rather excited.

"Yup! Let me get ready!" In an incredibly short time, Alice had a makeshift stage, microphones, state-of-the-art stereos and a massive collection of CDs all ready to use.

"I want to go first! I want to go first! I've got an awesome song to sing!" Emmett dashed up the stage and snatched up a microphone.
Then he pulled out a soundtrack disc and stuck in the radio.

"Death Note? You're into that stuff? Edward asked.

"What's Death Note?" Carlisle cocked his head in confusion.

"It's this totally awesome anime that are about gods of death, apples, and of course, a Death Note." Emmett explained.

"Why don't you ever tell me of your ever-changing interests?" Rosalie asked.

"I thought that you would think I'm weird." Emmett said sheepishly.

Then he cleared his throat.

"Anyways…Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you my misheard version of the Death Note opening: 'What's Up People?'!" (See note at the top)

Edward, who is a fan of classical music as well as metal, beamed. "Ooh, I love that song!"

Everyone else took a seat.

"This ought to be interesting." Bella remarked.

Heavy metal and rock music ensued. Emmett's voice drowned out the singer's as he recited his misheard lyrics:

"We've always planned this to free all this paint…

We've always planned this to free all this paint…

POOOOOOOOOORRN!

GET POOOOOORRRN!

Many pendulums, many pendulums, many pendulums in England. (2x)

Well there's many clocks, got many many clocks, got many many clocks in England (2x)."

"That is true, you know." Carlisle remarked to Edward.

Emmett continued his hollering.

"Want some!? Feels like pie, home security, want some feels like pie!

We're gonna need a diet now.

Want some!? Feels like pie, home security, want some feels like pie!

Vitamins I got, vitamins I got I'm from England. (2x)

Many pendulums, many pendulums, many pendulums in England. (2x)

Well there's many clocks, got many many clocks, got many many clocks in England (2x)

Want some!? Feels like pie, home security, want some feels like pie!

We're gonna need a diet now.

Want some!? Feels like pie, home security, want some feels like pie!

Hey hey ningen (human) sucker, ah ningen ningen f---er (5x)

With 4 wheels

It's more safe!

It's got friction!

PEEL ME OFF IF I DIE!

THAT GUY WAS SCROLLING MY BALLS!

(Esme put a hand to her mouth at this.)

SINCE I GUARDED WARNING!

INSIDE WAS SOLID LIKE A GLOVE!

Many pendulums, many pendulums, many pendulums in England. (2x)

Well there's many clocks, got many many clocks, got many many clocks in England (2x)

Want some!? Feels like pie, home security, want some feels like pie!

We're gonna need a diet now.

Want some!? Feels like pie, home security, want some feels like pie!

Hey hey ningen (human) sucker, ah ningen ningen f---er (5x)

WATERMELON!

Sound of the soccer, play soccer!

HEY GUY GETTING ME A SODA, WELL YOU NEVER LIVED FAR!

Out, to kill, zig-zag no kitty cat

Time, to kill, zig-zag on cats!

Hey hey ningen (human) sucker, ah ningen ningen f---er (5x)

WHAT'S UP BEBO!? WHAT'S UP BEBO!? WHAT'S UP BEBO!?"

Emmett was leaping and hurling himself across the stage as he screamed into the microphone. Everyone pushed their chairs farther back to avoid harm.

"F---! SORRY ABOUT THE BROKEN GLASS!

AND THE TOILET AS WELL! WHOO!

WE'RE IN TROUBLE! (cough)"

After the final note of the song, there was a long, awkward silence. Emmett regained his composure and brushed his fingers through his messed-up hair.

"So guys…what do you think?"

"I think I'm the one hard of hearing now." Alice stared into empty space with eyes wide open.

"That was a waste of 4 minutes of my life." Jasper muttered.

"Emmett, it'd be good if you could take a break from the spotlight right now." Esme tried to keep her tone polite and in control.

Carlisle, who was closest to the speakers, simply sat in his seat with his right eye involuntarily twitching.

"Now I think you're weird." Rosalie finally said.

As always, hope you guys liked it. This chapter was specially dedicated to Death Note fans! :D