A/N: Thanks for your review, Dizrhythmia! It motivated me to write out two more chapters!
Chapter 7: Selfish
Distracted as I am by thoughts of a new, pretty Parvati, my efforts in Charms are sufficiently abysmal to make Flitwick assign me extra practice for homework.
"Wow…you're really out of it today," Lavender comments. For a moment, I wonder if she's going to ask why, but she just strides off to Care of Magical Creatures.
Silly Parvati, expecting beautiful Lavender to care about you. It's that sarcastic voice in my head, one that's been speaking up often lately. Selfish too, it continues. You're not the center of the universe, you know. It's all right when you're kids. Anyone can be friends with anyone then. But now? That time is over. Grow up, little girl.
It's right. I know it, but I don't want to accept it. It'll all change, I tell myself. I'll make it change.
Unlike Lavender, I have Muggle Studies next. I used to think it was such a boring class, but I took it anyways for the relatively easy E. Now though, actually listening to Professor Burbage, instead of tuning out her annoyingly squeaky voice, I realize that what she's talking about is actually interesting.
I spend lunch in the Library, reading through a book I find on muggle history. It's quite interesting, especially one bit I read about some maniac called Adolf Hitler. He sounds like You-Know-Who.
The thought makes me shiver. Is there nowhere safe in the world? I don't know why the Sorting Hat put me in Gryffindor. I'm not brave, not at all. I'm a spoiled girl who likes her comfort zone.
On second thought, Gryffindor makes more sense. The Hat didn't put me there because I was brave. It was a last resort. I'm not smart enough for Ravenclaw, not loyal enough for Hufflepuff, and not…cunning? Evil? Ambitious? Whichever one, I lack the necessary qualities for a Slytherin.
Parvati Patil, dumped in Gryffindor because she couldn't possibly go anywhere else. The thought makes me sad. I wish I could go talk to Lavender, so that she could comfort me, or possibly make up a list of reasons why that wasn't true.
You see? Only thinking of yourself, the voice in my head says. Lavender has other things to do than make up polite white lies to bolster your ego.
I stare out a window, focusing not on the image I see but the colors themselves. Brilliant peacock blue, pure snow white, the deepest emerald green, with flashes of ruby and gold.
When the tears that threatened to overflow are under control, I take a deep, shuddering breath and carefully pack my books away. It'll all change, I promise myself. With that final thought, I prepare myself for the upcoming torture of Snape, Slytherins, and DADA.