I could see it gliding noiselessly out of the woods and moving closer and closer. I wanted to scream, to warn mother, but I could not make a sound. I tried to reach for my sword but it was too heavy for me to lift. And then the serpent sank its' fangs into my mother's arm. Her face twisted in pain and she cried out. And then I was at her side, bringing my sword down many times but always missing the serpent. Always missing.

I woke up, my heart pounding. The same dream, over and over and over. I stood up, breathing heavily. It was useless to try to sleep. I walked over to my window and looked out. The sun was rising, graceful and golden. Nothing is as beautiful as a Narnian sunrise. Except, perhaps, a Narnian sunset. Mother loved watching the sky. She would watch it for hours. But she wasn't here to see this sunrise. She never would see another. I turned away from the window. Perhaps, If I rode out now…

But I had forgotten. Starlight was injured. Perhaps, another horse…But no other horse would do. Starlight knew me as well as I knew myself. He could guess what I wanted before I even spoke it. Moreover, Starlight was strong. He could ride for days, climb steep hills, swim swift rivers. True, what I had required of him was too much for even Starlight. But even, if I rode less, stopped to drink and graze more often and returned earlier, there was no horse in our stables that would equal the task.

I wandered the castle aimlessly, for the next few days. I did not join my father in his meetings and councils and visits and speeches. I was afraid that if I did, I might lose my resolve and decide to stay. Only a few more days, I told myself, and Starlight will be well again and then I shall resume my search. I drank little. I ate even less. I stayed up all night staring at the stars. My mother used to find comfort in them. Why couldn't I?

Finally, I decided to set out on my quest on Dawn, a young mare. She was a quiet, gentle mare and she wasn't nearly as strong as Starlight. But she could be spared and I would not take a horse that was needed elsewhere. It was a chilly morning, especially for May, so I decided to wear my cape and spent about half an hour trying to tie it on just right. Finally, I stepped outside.

"Rillian!" called father. I turned around. Father was walking from the stables and leading a black stallion.

"For you," father said and smiled, although his smile seemed sad. "He is young, strong and faithful. He will serve you well."

I looked over the horse in wonder. He was beautiful.

"But how did you know I was leaving today?" I asked. I had wished to leave before breakfast and before anyone could notice. I hadn't meant to tell anyone.

Father chuckled. "Well, the cook noticed that you were trying to put together a lunch for yourself last night. She wished to help you but you looked so dark and angry that she didn't dare, so she came to me and asked my permission."

"She was afraid to speak with me?" Had I really looked so menacing?

"Oh, I reassured her."

The next few moments, I grew acquainted with the horse. He was perfect.

"I shall call him Coalblack," I said, stroking the horse's silky mane.

"Don't keep him in the Northern Marches from sunrise until sunset. Let him stay here some days. He would be much happier here."

I studied my father's wrinkled face. Was he really speaking of the horse?

"You…you don't wish me to go, do you?" I asked.

Father shook his head. "My fondest wish is that you return to Narnia and take your place in it. This quest does no good to anyone. You seek to destroy the serpent, but you are destroying much more."

"But…but if you don't wish me to go, then, why give me the stallion?" I asked, puzzled.

"I wish you to drop this fruitless quest out of love for Narnia. It started out as a worthy quest and the reason to leave it must be a worthy reason. So, I give you this horse and I also give you the choice, to stay or to go."

"Thank you," I said. I meant so much more with these words. I meant a thousand things at once and couldn't seem to express them so all I said was, "Thank you."

Then, I mounted Coalblack and rode off. I felt a strange sense of hope at starting this journey anew. Perhaps, today I would actually find something. Not the serpent, but maybe a clue, a hint, a sign…