Title: Curse of Fate: Outtakes
Author: Mistress Nika
Rating: PG
Summary: Harry's a naughty boy, and all of Gryffindor knows it.
Pairings: none
Warnings: more violence towards hats

The Thestral May Need an Antacid

"What was that with the sorting hat?" Neville asked, glancing around nervously as if Harry were going to pop up behind him at any moment.

"Maybe it's getting too old. Senile, y'know?" Seamus said absently, rooting though his pack and pulling out a chocolate frog. "It has been sorting for over a thousand years now."

"But the hat can't go senile!" Lavender protested, sitting down next to a disgruntled Hermione who gave her a nasty look. "It's a hat. Maybe Harry's just really Gryffindorish and it wanted to get it's point across."

"More likely he threatened it," Hermione said, turning her nose up at the girl.

"Whaddya mean?" Seamus asked around a mouthful of chocolate goodness.

"Harry gets his way, no matter what," she replied as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Usually he's got a good reason for it, but nothing can stand in his way for long."

"It probably wanted to put the git in Slytherin," Ron stated with a scowl. "He belongs there, with all the other evil little Death Eaters in training."

"All Slytherins are not evil, Ron!" Hermione exclaimed. "But yes, it probably did want to put him there."

"Naaah!" Dean scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Harry's a Gryffindor, through and through."

"Well, there's one way we can settle this right now," Hermione reasoned, looking toward the portrait hole. "Hey, Harry!" she called out, waving him over.

He waved back and moved to join them. After glaring at Lavender, she quickly vacated her seat and he flopped down next to her. "What'cha need?" he asked with a smile.

"Did the hat want to put you in Slytherin?" she asked over the protestations and shushing noises the others made while glancing nervously at Harry.

"Yep," Harry said simply, taking a bite of the apple he had in his hand.

The others looked at him stunned and slightly horrified.

"And you threatened it if it didn't put you in Gryffindor?"

"Yep again," he continued casually. "Said I was the most 'Slytherin' Slytherin it had ever seen. I threatened to set it on fire." Taking another bite of his apple, he thought for a few minutes, ignoring the stunned and slightly frightened silence that had descended. "Actually, I should probably get it back for that comment about me being a menace." Looking at Hermione with an eager smile, he asked, "Wanna help me break into Dumbledore's office so I can steal it and feed it to a thestral?"