A/N: Okay, this turned out not so short, but whatever I thought I'd update soon, since I have muse to write fanfics -smile- So...enjoy I guess :P
Disclaimer: What part of 'I don't own Naruto' don't you understand?
"Huh? What's this?" Uzumaki Naruto peered closely at the package that had been stuffed unceremoniously through the letter gap in the door. It looked something like a...book? Curiosity aroused, the blond trudged over to his sofa and collapsed onto it, ripping the packaging paper simultaneously. Out fell a small, orange book.
"This better not be something Kakashi-sensei sent me," Naruto thought out loud, looking at the titled.
AN IDIOT'S GUIDE TO VILLIANS
"What the...?" Naruto flipped the book over and read the blurb.
'Villains terrorising you? Need help? 'An Idiot's Guide to Villains' is perfect for you! Featuring the many S classed criminals our world has to offer, as well as a variety of ways on how to defeat them.
Terrified upon meeting them? Don't know what to do? Don't worry, our simple step by step instructions will show you. Even idiots will know once we have completed the mission. Now, let us face those criminal missing-nins together!
Yours Sincerely,
Art is a bang XD
. . .
Uzumaki Naruto was speechless. What? Why did he need such a stupid book? He raised it up, about to throw it into the trash can which was overfilled already, when he noticed a yellow sticky note on it.
n AruTo.
jusT tHouG ht yOu migHt nEeD Thi S boOK.
kEep iT WitH yoU a T AlL tiMeS.
rEad & foL low tE h inStruCtiOns
JIr aiYA
It was hard figuring out Ero-Sennin's writing. But at last, Naruto did. The note said:
Naruto.
Just thought you might need this book.
Keep it with you at all times
Read and follow the instructions
Jiraiya
"Ero-sennin's writing is even worse than mine-ttebayo!" Naruto complained to the air. "I mean, look at those gaps and random capitalizing! He even put a space through his own name-ttebayo! And he doesn't even know how to spell 'the'. Geeze...Who am I learning from these days, Dattebayo? And why would I even need such a stupid book?"
Naturally, the air didn't respond.
Nevertheless, Naruto decided to open the book, just in case. What was written in there was...really for idiots. I mean, Giant flappy black cloaks with red clouds? What sort of villains wear those? And purple belts? Wtf? And all Uchiha's aren't evil! Especially not Sasuke! And Shino does not look creepy! What was wrong with the book? Maybe Naruto was just too stupid for his own good...
After scanning through the whole book, Naruto remembered Ramen. Ramen. Ramen. He stepped out of the house, making his way towards Ichiraku Ramen store when... two 'giant flappy black cloaks with red clouds' appeared in his vision. One wasn't short, but was comparatively shorter than the one which towered over him. The blond noticed the shorter one had Sharingan eyes and raven black hair, while the taller one had blue skin and triangles under his eyes. Do that maths.
He quickly flipped through the Villain book, as he had decided to call it, and found the 'Identify Villains' chapter. "Giant flappy black cloaks with red clouds. Check. Bad sense of fashion. Check. If they have the Sharingan or if they're an Uchiha. Check. If they look creepy. Ya. Check." Naruto said out loud, checking through the chapter.
Itachi and Kisame (I've given you enough clues) stared at him, dumbfounded. They were watching the strongest Jinchuuriki flip through a book. And on top of that, the book was written by someone called Art is a bang XD whom they had never heard of.
"Looking pretty stupid, isn't he, Itachi-san," Kisame smirked.
"Hn," came the impassive reply. Kisame waited, then realized that was the only reply he'll get.
Naruto meanwhile, was still flipping through the book. "YOU GUYS ARE VILLAINS-ttebayo!" he shouted suddenly, pointing a dramatic finger towards the Akatsuki duo.
". . . Duh!" Kisame replied, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.
"Okay. So...what to do if I meet villains...Run away as fast as possible? But Ichiraku Ramen is over there...Okay. I got it-ttebayo!"
Naruto started to run. But not away. Straight towards Itachi and Kisame. "Get out of the way, I'm running away from villains-ttebayo! Oh wait...you guys are the villains. Crap..." Okay, so what was the second step in the book? Dump water on them! The blond grabbed a nearby full bucket and turned it upside down on top of the two Akatsuki members. What came out, however, was not water. It was...COW MANURE!
"AAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!" The girly scream shattered the air. Konoha residents could only watch as the two feared Akatsuki members pelted out of their village. Was this really the infamous Akatsuki?
Naruto skipped off, acting as if nothing had happened. Maybe he would keep the book after all...
A/N: So how did it go? Come on, review please? I tried my best! I really did -puppy eyes-
Review or I might not update so soon D: And you won't like that...no you wont..
Anyway, after you review, Have a nice day