A/N: Bwahahahahahaha! Konichi wa! I'm back after a long absence! I don't have any excuses this time, and I don't want to keep you from reading the story. I think it's the best I've written so far and I'm very very proud of it :) Maybe my absence has inhanced my skills instead of dulling them? Oh well, we'll see, huh? This is Deidara and Tobi's attempt to capture Naruto! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Would I really make so many unfortunate members of the awesome organization of Akatsuki die (or get buried) if I was the creater of Naruto? Rhetorical question but the answer is: No!
A giggle split the air just as Naruto spun the shuriken around on his finger. He immediately stopped and looked around, as one would do in the movies. "Who's there?"
"Oh, hi Naruto-kun! Tobi didn't know you noticed him." The giggle came again and a masked man stepped out of the bush again, followed by the reluctant, beady-eyed blond.
"You're back again!" Naruto pointed dramatically towards Deidara, who sighed and shrugged.
"Sadly, un. This time Tobi's doing it though. Do your stuff, hmm."
"Haaaai!" Tobi saluted, a hidden smile on his face. And it was hidden because...? He was wearing a mask. Duh. "Tobi is a good boy! Tobi will make Senpai proud and work non-stop until he gets Naruto-kun to go with him!"
With a thump, Deidara allowed himself to fall backwards, lying in a spread-eagled position on the ground. "Go ahead," he yawned, turned over and fell silent.
Tobi smiled widely again and turned towards the bewildered Naruto.
"You know, if you were finding somewhere to sleep, you could've just asked me-ttebayo."
"Oh no, Deidara-senpai's not sleeping," Tobi responded brightly. "I think he's dead."
"I'm not dead!" gawked the certain 'dead' blond.
Tobi jumped ten feet in the air, literally, before landing on his head in an awkward head-stance. "My mistake Senpai, my mistake."
Naruto blinked. "Waiiit a second! Are you guys from the Akablupi group or something?" he asked, flicking through his Guide to Villains again. "Yeah! It says here that if you have giant flappy cloaks with red clouds, you're a Villain!"
"I'm glad his brain capacity is big enough to understand that, un," Deidara muttered.
Tobi, however, shook his head happily. "Oh no no no, Naruto-kun! You got it all wrong. We're the Akasuda group and we're not villains! We're good boys," Tobi nodded.
"No you idiot!" Deidara screamed. "We're the Akatsuki and we are villains, not good boys! ...un..."
Naruto scratched his head. "You guys are confusing me," he admitted. "Where's that puppet guy you were with last time?" He pointed to Deidara, who snickered.
"He got killed by those Chiro and Sakuya people," he said proudly. "So much for being immortal and eternal, un."
"Sakuya sounds a lot like Sakura-chan-ttebayo," Naruto grinned, before remembering their original discussion. "Ano...why are you here to get me to go with you?"
"Because we're all good boys and we need you for a science experime- I mean...uh...to be a movie star," Tobi's cheesy smile grew as large as a crescent moon.
"Movie star? Awesome-ttebayo! I've always wanted to be the main character of a movie! Okay, here's the plot. The main character is me, Naruto. And the show will be called Naruto. He'll be in a like team with Sakura-chan and Shino, because he's quiet. Sakura-chan will like totally fall for him! And then these like bad guys called Akapoo will come after him and he'll beat them all to a pulp! How's that-ttebayo?"
Snore...snore...snore...
Naruto blinked and looked around. Deidara was lying on his back snoring, mouth wide open and drool dripping down one side of his mouth. Tobi was standing perfectly still.
"Tobi?" Naruto waved his hand in front of the masked man's face.
No response.
Tobi?"
No response.
"TOBI!"
Splash!
A dripping wet Tobi stood there, wide awake, staring at Naruto who was holding a bucket which used to be full of water. We can only guess where the water went.
"Oh hi Naruto-kun! Now, including our terms and conditions, will you agree to go with us?"
Naruto nodded eagerly. "Let us be off-ttebayo!"
--
"This is him?"
"This is him, Pein."
"Who retrieved the Kyuubi?"
"Deidara and Tobi."
"Deidara and Tobi? They were the ones least likely to succeed."
"I've kept telling you to stop doubting their abilities."
"You know full well that I have reason to doubt them, Konan. Especially Tobi. He-"
"Will the meeting hurry up and start already? Seriously! I still have to make sacrifices for Jashin-sama!" a fuming lavender-eyed immortal spat at the other members of the utterly serious organization.
"I have my money to count," a masked man rasped.
"I have training," a man with blood red eyes spoke up.
"I have Suigetsu-finding," a man that looked suspiciously like a fish contributed.
"I need to eat. Humans! Give me humans!" Something that resembled a plant said.
"Okay okay, I get your point," Pein said irritably. "Bring out the Kyuubi!"
Tobi bounced in cheerfully, followed by a hyper Naruto who couldn't help muttering "I'm going to be a movie star! This is so exciting! This is the best day of my life-ttebayo!"
Kisame stared. "Is that really him?"
"Yes. There's no mistake," Itachi breathed. "Then shall we commence the ceremony?"
"Yes." Pein nodded gravely.
Tobi smiled. "You know, I keep having a feeling we've left someone behind."
At sunset in Konoha, a certain blond woke up and swore.
A/N: Haha! Now that's a good ending! Okay, maybe I'm too full of myself today. You'll review, right?
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