AN: I talked to Briana --yes the one that inspired last chapter's "You murderer!-- and well....

I had a very....interesting conversation that led to this.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: SM owns everything.

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"Dear God, why is there so much traffic?" Jasper groaned. He leaned back in the passenger seat of Rosalie cherry red convertible and frowned. "Yes, it is rush hour, but come on!"

"Well, if someone," Rosalie threw a glance at Bella, who was sitting in the back seat. "-hadn't taken so long getting ready, then saying goodbye, then putting her stuff in the car, then remember that she packed a cooler of food, and then saying goodbye again we would have missed rush hour, but no..."

"Shut up, Rosalie," grumbled Bella. So what if she had taken long? It's not like she was purposely trying to delay the trip . . .

Okay, she was, but Rosalie didn't need to know that, now did she?

Jasper yawned and stretched his arms. "I have to admit, Rosalie, I do like the convertible. Especially when the top is down."

Rosalie rolled her eyes and switched lanes, cutting somebody off. The person rolled his window down started screaming at Rosalie. Rosalie rolled her eyes and tried to ignore him.

"Oh, shut up," Jasper muttered. He turned around to face Bella and said, "Give me the cooler."

Bella clutched it protectively. "Why?"

"'Cause I'm hungry and I want one of those sandwiches you made. Now gimmie."

"A 'please' and 'thank you' would be nice," muttered Bella as she handed it to him. Jasper ignored her and opened up the cooler.

"Yes!" he hissed under his breath. He reached in and grabbed a handful of ice. He grinned wickedly, aimed behind him at the car they cut of --the driver was still yelling-- and pelted the ice at the pick up truck.

"What the hell, Jasper?" Rosalie gasped. Bella didn't say anything, as she was too busy gaping at Jasper to do anything.

Jasper ducked down in his seat, laughing hysterically. "Oh, my god! Did you see that guy's face when the ice hit?"

Bella hit the back of his head. "What the hell is the matter with you Jasper? Are you insane or something?"

"Nine out of the ten voices in my head say no."

"Not funny!" Bella shrieked.

"Ah, lighten up, Bella. It's on the List," Jasper said.

Rosalie glared at him. "Since when? I do not remember that number, Jasper."

"Since I just added it. Number 38: Do something stupid on a highway during traffic. Congratulations, we just finished another number. Well, I did, at least." He peered at Bella and Rosalie. "You two still have too."

Bella groped in the cooler and came back with a fist of ice. "I'm gonna kill you when we get off the highway, Jasper. Hope you know that." She closed her eyes and tossed the ice out of the convertible. It hit a silver car next to them.

"Crap, crap, crap, crap..." Bella covered her face with her hands and groaned. "I hate you with the intensity of a thousand suns, Jasper."

"Ah, what the hell?" Rosalie asked. She reached over, grabbed some ice, and gunned it at a car. The car rolled down it window and more shrieks emerged.

"Marvelous." Jasper grinned. "You might want to get off the highway, Rosalie. I fear that someone may try to hit us if you don't."

Rosalie glared at the cars around them. "None of these people would dare to hurt Bertuchie."

"Can I ask, just once more, why you named your car 'Bertuchie'?" Bella wondered out loud.

"Because my car is like the god of all other cars and deserves a kick ass name." She stroked the dashboard. "Aren't you, Tuch?"

"And why you feel the need to shorten his 'name'?" Bella asked.

Rosalie scoffed. "Cause all gods need a nickname. Duh."

Bella rubbed her temples. What did I get myself into?

-:-

"I swear that this works!" Jasper said. "All we need to do is put this on the engine, drive for like, a half an hour, maybe, and poof! One cooked steak, ready for eating!"

Rosalie and Bella stared blankly at Jasper.

"Wouldn't the foil catch fire? Because it'd get so hot?" asked Bella.

"The steak would taste like gas though, right? 'Cause I am not eating gas steak" Rosalie said.

Jasper groaned. "C'mon you guys! It's not that hard. All I have to do is put it on the engine. It won't catch on fire, it won't taste like gas, and we'll be able to eat it!"

"I don't trust it." Rosalie stated bluntly.

"It's a piece of meat, what's not to trust? Or is your car-"

"Don't you dare insult Bertuchie!" Rosalie snapped playfully at Jasper. "And anyway, how do you know it works?"

Jasper sighed. "Remember that construction gig I had in Seattle for the summer?"

"Yeah," said Bella.

"Well, the workers there always did it and it never failed! Except for that one time that Anthony forgot to put a hole in the can of soup and it exploded, but it was a one time thing!"

"So you're saying, so that we can eat a healthy lunch, instead of say McDonald's or something equally fattening, you want me to put a steak on my engine." She paused. "And let it cook while I drive?"

Jasper nodded eagerly.

"No." Rosalie denied him. "No, no, no, no, no."

"Rosalie!" Jasper pleaded. "Let's just try it! Just once!"

Rosalie glared at Jasper. "Bella, you haven't said anything. What do you want to do?"

"Um," Bella looked up from her seat in the convertible. They had gotten off the highway and now Jasper and Rosalie were arguing in a parking lot over . . . something. Bella wasn't sure what.

"Whatever Rosalie wants to do?" she said hesitantly.

"Yes!" Rosalie cheered. "Haha! In your face! Fattening chicken nuggets here we come!"

Jasper groaned and glared at Bella. "You couldn't agree with me, just once?"

Bella shrugged. "Whoops."

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH, MY GOD! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!

THEY'RE MAKING AN INKHEART MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Farid=yummyness. Yum. Screw the Strongman's young apprentice, I'm a FaridxMeggie shipper baby!

--coughs-- Um...

Betting that you guys don't know what Inkheart is.

Shame on you!

Go buy it and it's sequels (Inkspell and Inkdeath --I freaked out when I heard the name--) immediately! It's written by Cornelia Funke. Buy it!

And about the whole "steak on the engine while the car is on" thing.

Let's just say that my Uncle Bobby talks about the weirdest things at the dinner table. On Christmas, no less.

--sighs-- I wonder if all families are this insane....

Review,
therecordwontstopskipping