Stevie surveyed her new surroundings and tried to understand her mixed feelings, and reconcile them with her sisters. It has been a long time since they had seen one another. Rose always divided them in a way that they could do nothing about even if they had wanted to. And now Rose was grown, and over seas. Now Rose knew the truth, now there was nothing but bad memories standing between Stevie and Michelle now. Memories they both seemed willing to put behind them.

It wasn't awkward as Stevie feared it would be, calling her sister to help her, again, after so many years. Of course she gave little information away, she only asked if she could stay awhile. But the desperation in her voice betrayed her. Michelle agreed instantly and sounded pleased enough. It reminded Stevie of their younger years. Michelle had never been one to complain about her young sister hanging around. Michelle had always been there for her, this perfect person whom she adored but could never quite live up to her expectations.

She was jealous of Rose, Stevie decided as she surveyed Michelle's livingroom. She glanced around and saw all the things she herself had wanted. Loving parents, nice house, and Michelle to come home to with all her problems, Michelle who could make all the bad things go away. Stevie had given up Rose, but she had also given up Michelle in a way. She was happy for Rose, that it all worked out for her. It made it worth all the torment along the way. But she still felt the outsider, like she had missed out on being part of something great.

It took a weight off her that Stevie didn't realise she carried, having some place besides Drovers to run to, to call home, to belong even for a few days. It meant something to have a sister who cared, and who she cared about, who took her off the street and made tea and small polite conversation. And Stevie tried to push her brief life as Mry Ryan to the back of her mind. It was a fairy tale, nothing more. She and Alex would never have been happy, never like Michelle, never had a family like this, never been successful. It just never would have worked.

Michelle raised no objection, not even a question, when Stevie asked her not to tell 'those people' she was here. Stevie wondered if it was because Michelle never seemed to like any of them anyway. Michelle never seemed happy that Stevie had found for herself a place to belong on Drovers Run. Perhaps Michelle was resentful what they meant to Stevie, to Rose, resentful that they gave Stevie another family, another life, anther chance? Perhaps Stevie was being too harsh on her sister, Maybe Michelle was only being loyal and respecting her wish for silence. In the course of this conversation Stevie did discover that Alex had called Michelle already. More than once. And suddenly it didn't seem like such a safe place to be anymore.

Michelle seemed appropriately horrified to discover the marriage was over between Stevie and Alex. She seemed surprised, and Stevie wanted to ask her why. Didn't Michelle remember her brief ill fated marriage to Jarred. It was Michelle who always told her she was not the marrying type, or the type to settle down and have a family. But even Michelle seemed surprised and sorry to hear this news.

"Problems with Alex?" Michelle had tried to get more information.

"Its over. Finished." Stevie answered her, hating the way Michelle made the collapse of her whole universe sound like a trivial problem.

"I'm sorry." Michelle told her, and she seemed to be, although disbelieving. Stevie felt she had to convince her somehow that she wasn't making it up, that it wasn't some small problem that would be sorted out and forgotten.

"He's cheating on me. Has been for a long time." Stevie told her. It was sort of true, Stevie told herself, he was cheating on her with a ghost. And it satisfied Michelle's curiosity. Michelle asked no more questions. Stevie didn't reveal the fact she was pregnant. It was too much to show up now on Michelle's door step alone and pregnant despite all the years had taught her.

That night Stevie fell into a somewhat peaceful sleep, as peacefull as she could get at this point or would ever get with Alex gone. She woke early and reached for the letters. Why she took them and no other happy memento from Drovers she did not know. She read them over each one. Although she knew them all by heart. She had never thrown one out, as if it somehow would bring bad luck. She read them, and told no one about them.

Each one was hand written to her, in an unfamiliar script, no postmark, hand delivered to Drovers. Each one was warning her about Alex, that he was going to leave her, taunting her about his extended time in Argentina. She read each one, and for the first time let it sink in that each word was true.

'He does not love you.'

'Where is he, hey?

'It was never going to work.'

Each was short, one or two sentences at most. But it got the point across nicely. Stevie wondered how this person had seen so clearly when she had not. How had she been caught up in this lie, was it really only months ago she had been in his arms, his bride, together forever.