I'd been released from the hospital for a couple weeks. Its been perfect, well as perfect as my life could be. I spent a lot of time with friends and my mom. I was also currently ignoring and avoiding my father. So I tried to sleep at Izzie's house, or my mom's hotel rather than having to go home. I had a bag at my mom's apartment, so I didn't have to go home.

It was a typical day, it was a Monday. I hated Monday's. I promised Kim I would check up on my leukemia, so I met with her at eight o'clock in front of the hospital. And she took me to my appointment it took an hour, a boring boring hour. Still Kim stayed there with me, sitting next to me and waiting when I went to my tests.

After one very long hour, I went to the nurse station and chatted with Carla. She told me that she hadn't seen my mom all day. I thought that was weird, she had told me she had to work today. She even left at seven and I had left at seven fourty-five.

So I went to look for her. I walked down the hallway and saw Ted. "Hey Ted, you've seen my mom?" I asked him.

"You know my name?" He asked. He was always surprised when someone knew his name, although he had been working here for over nineteen years.

"Ted, yes or no?" I asked him. He shook his head no. I sighed and continued walking. I smiled when I saw JD. "Jd, have you seen my mom?" I asked.

"Last I saw she was entering the on-call room." He said.

I smiled, "Thank you." I said and headed to the on-call room. I opened the door and light shed into the room. On the bed, was my mom and my boyfriend, Sam, and they were naked. They were laying next to each other, both breathing heavily. I knew what had been going on it was obvious, when light shed into the room they looked and saw me. I gulped as anger spread through me. I let out a soft laugh and shook my head. I started to walk away as I heard them getting dressed, my mom was first out.

"Jennifer, wait." She called out after me. I continued walking but I was in flip flops and she just had her bare feet. She ran after me, she passed me and stopped in front of me. She looked like crap, which did make me smile a bit on the inside. I sighed as she put her hands on her hip, I crossed mine across my chest. "Jenn.." She said but stopped.

"Just one thing, tell me you didn't sleep with him. You can lie so easily, you lie all the time. So please tell me you didn't sleep with him." I begged her.

She decided to look at the floor instead.

I laughed. "Whats that one thing you've been telling me since I was three. Oh yeah, don't have sex. So I listen to my parents, I don't. I'm the only virgin at my school, there are fourteen year olds who aren't virgins. And i'm sixteen and still a virgin. Its not that I have some weird religious belief, I didn't have sex because you asked me not too." I said, I sighed. "So what, you decide that since I can't give Sam what every guy wants, you'll do it for me." I said sarcastically. "How sweet of you." I said with a smile. "I'm glad you care about me that much." I replied putting emphasize on that.

"Jen i'm so sorry." She started but I cut her off.

"I'm sorry too, because I was actually on your side." I ran a hand through my hair. "To think i'd been trying to get dad to give you a second chance." I laughed. I stepped to the side than tried to walk away but she grabbed my hand.

"Jennifer. Don't tell anyone." She pleaded. I laughed and started to walk when I saw Sam walking towards me.

"Don't." I said. He didn't stop, he was getting closer with every step my anger grew.

"I swear to god, Sam. You take one more step towards me and I promise you that not only will I cut that off," I said looking at his crotch. I looked back up, "But I will make you pay for taking that next step and you'll spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair. Hopefully you'll grow fat and bald." I said looking at his shaggy brown hair. I knew that the last comment was pretty lame but I couldn't think of a good one. But thankfully he stopped walking. But of course my day could get worse.

"Don't talk to him like that." My mom said grabbing my hand and turning me around.

I laughed. "God, you don't know when to stop do you? So you what have feelings for him now. Maybe I shouldn't hate him for sleeping with my mother. Maybe I should be like Danni and just keep dating him anyway," She shrugged, "So do you have a specific thing you want me to do?" I asked. I knew my face was red, and could tell my eyes were starting to water. "Because obviously i'm not allowed to be mad," I took in my surroundings, the nurse station. We already had a short audience, but mostly we had been whispering. So no one really knew what we were saying.

I walked behind the nurse station and stood up on a chair and stepped onto the counter.

"What are you doing Jenna?" Carla asked.

I smiled at her, "I have an annoucement." I turned and winked at my mom.

"Everyone." I coughed, to clear my voice. "Now, I know we all love drama. We love gossip, but this little annoucement I would rather share myself. Than have it slowly get around the hospital." People were slowly exiting doorways, coming down hallways. "Now, we all know little Sammy here, Kim and JD's perfect perfect child. And we all know my mother here, queen bitch. But here's a little tidbit, while i'm upset about finding out that I have leukemia." People gasped. "Yeah yeah, I have leukemia. But while i'm struggling to find out what i'm going to do. My mother here decides it would be just lovely to sleep with my boyfriend." I said looking at everyone. I turned to my mom, as she burried her face in her hands. "Oh shoot, was that suppose to be a secret?" I asked playing dumb. I shrugged, "Paybacks a bitch, huh."

I jumped off the counter, people cleared a pathway for me to walk on as I walked down the hallway. I found my dad at the end of the little pathway, "Hey dad, can we go home. Its been a rough day," I said. He nodded and put his arm around me as we left.

Its been three weeks since the whole mom-sam-sex thing went on. And my mom hadn't been seen since that day, not that I was surprised. I wouldn't want to be seen either.

When I was at the hospital it seemed people steered clear of me, which was a bit strange since I'd never thought of myself as scary or a bitch before. I usually was nice, with a side of sarcastic. But it was better than everyone coming up to me and feeling pity for me.

"Jenny," Kim said speeding up to me. "I'm so sorry. Sam's been grounded for the end of time." She said, squeezing my arm.

Was that suppose to make me feel better? "Okay?" I asked.

"But just for the heads up, he's here." She said. Nice grounding. "He's in the cafeteria right now." She said. I nodded and walked away. I was headed to the nurse's station but I turned and headed towards the cafeteria. There he was standing up, walking my way. He stopped when he saw me and started walking the other way.

"Sam, I need to talk to you." I said, he stopped. I ran up to him. "Meet me at the roof in five minutes." I said. The roof was where we use to hang out...all the time. We'd even once slept on the roof, on a blanket, me in his arms. We hadn't had sex..we had just starred up at the sky at the stars.

I ran away from him and to my dad's office. I locked the door behind me, knowing it was his day off. I walked to his desk, sitting down in his comfy chair. I pulled out my waterbottle, I had gotten four years ago at a volleyball camp, it was dark blue with "Jennifer Dylan Sullivan." written in white and a volleyball and net on it. I had left it in his office one day and he had set it in one of his draws, he was always wanting me to come and pick it up. I opened the draw that was always being stuck and would only open if you did this hitting kicking thing. But it eventually it slid open, and there was the scotch bottle and the vodka bottle. I took out the vodka bottle and poured some vodka into my waterbottle. I knew no one would suspect anything I was always drinking pop out of my waterbottle. Plus i'd never drank before.

I twisted the top shut then popped up the top. I took a swig out of it, the vodka tasted bitter on my throat but after two sips it was as normal as drinking diet coke. I put the vodka bottle back and left the room with my own little volleyball bottle of vodka. I sipped it as I walked up to the roof. When I was at the roof, the bottle was all gone.

There he was. On the ledge, if anyone but me had seen him, they would have thought he was about to jump. I knew him better, he loved standing on the ledge feeling the wind hit his face, and looking down. He stepped off when he heard the door slam shut. I walked to a side of the roof and threw the bottle, I then walked back to the door.

"Before you say what you came here to say, I have to say something. I know what I did was wrong and completely stupid. But I still love you. And I need to know, do you still love this idiot?" He whispered the last sentence.

I sighed and smiled, a sad soft smile. "I'll love you forever Sam." It was the truth, he was my first love. I knew no matter how great the guys I meet will be, i'll always love him. I couldn't help it and I knew it.

"You will?" He asked.

"Yes." I said my smile fading. "That's the problem." I said, I came up here to let him know how much I hurt him. But the sad face he had on his face right now was hurting the both of us. The fact he slept with my mom broke my heart, that I could never forgive him for what he did. I knew he would understand, since we were three we'd been able to understand what was going on with each other.

I left slamming the door behind me. To see the janitor. "Let me" He said, and he locked the roof. I smiled at the janitor.

"Thanks." I said. He walked me down the stairs and to the nurse's station.

"Kim, Carla. I'm leaving." I said, to them. They snapped their heads to me.

"What?" Carla asked.

"Where?" Kim answered.

"With who?" Carla replied.

I laughed. "I'm leaving. Jack has an apartment out in California, he has a guest room. He misses me. Its summer time so no school. And I need to get out of this place for a little bit. I care about you two, so I wanted to say goodbye before I left." I said.

"When are you leaving?" Kim asked.

I looked at my watch "five minutes."

"Oh my god," Kim almost made us fall as she jumped into me, hugging me tightly.

"Hey hey," Carla said. "my turn." Kim took a step back as Carla hugged me. Kim then hugged me too, from the other side.

"Okay your crushing me," I said. They both took a step back. "I'm gonna miss you guys." I said with a bit of a pout. "But I have my cell phone. So Kim," I said turning towards her. "Your going to call me and tell me about all the embarassing, stupid, hilarious things JD does." I said with a smile. I then turned to Carla, "And will you keep me updated on the gossip around here?" I asked. They both nodded. And a tear fell down my face, "I'm really gonna miss you two." I hadn't seen or heard from Iz since that day, and so I had spent most of my time with these two. Both becoming a mom to me. They both stepped towards me hugging me.

"What are you two doing?" I heard a voice say. Carla turned facing the person and Kim stayed facing me, both were standing tightly together. It seemed they were blocking me from someone. Kim wiped my tear off my cheek. Then they both stepped away from me. And there was my mother.

"Why is she crying?" My mom asked, just like her to act like I wasn't there.

"It doesn't matter. I'm leaving." I said.

"No your not." She said.

I sighed, did I really need to put up with this minutes before dad would be pulling up to get me. "Yes I am." I said. "But you know this way, Sam will be free for you to sleep with." I said with a smile. I turned to Kim, "You better watch these two. She may end up in jail. Not that anyone would miss her."

"Jenna." Carla warned.

I looked at my watch. Something to do plus I knew it was a bit harsh. I was suppose to be outside. "Carla, Kim don't tell her where i'm going. I don't want her

to show up there and sleep with everyone I meet."

I smiled at both of them then walked away from them and down the hallway. I heard her coming before I saw her.

"Jennifer." She said, one word and I could hear her heart breaking.

I kept walking out the door and then turned around. "What?" I asked.

"I'm sorry." She said, tears in her eyes.

At that moment I realized I truly didn't care. I looked down my eyes widening at the thought. I didn't care about her anymore. "Woah." I whispered. I laughed, a smile on my face. "I'm sorry too. I'm sorry it took me this long to see your true self. Tell me this how long had it been going on? Was it just that night or had it been a regular thing. I didn't see anything, but the look in Sam's eyes. The hurt, the embarassment -which I do admit gave me a bit of pleasure the fact he was embarassed from sleeping with you. Were you really that bad?- But he looked like it wasn't the first time. So tell me, how long." I said.

She looked down. "Four months."

"Holy shit." I whispered, I ran a hand through my hair. Four months....one-hundred and twenty some days. "You've been lieing to me that long." I said looking up in her eyes. "You've been screwing Sam...my first love. For 120 some days. You heartless bitch." I said tears forming in my eyes. I couldn't stop it, I tried but I reached my hand up and slapped her across the face. It was harsh, maybe I was drunk. Or maybe it was just the rush of yelling at her, telling people for once how I truly felt. I shook my head as she turned to look at her, tears actually rolling down her face.

She reached her arm up, probably to slap me back, but it was caught by my dad an inch away from my face. Dad let go of her hand and walked over and leaned against the car.

I laughed "Nice try. Hey when i'm gone maybe you'll find someone else's life to ruin. But let me tell you this, you mess with Carla or Kim. And so help me god, I will not hold back. You mess with them, i'll be home in a day and i'll make you regret it." I said with a shake of my head. I knew how she was, she would try to hurt a person by messing with their life. And since Sam and my mom were out of my life, I only cared about four people. My dad, Carla, Kim, and Izzie. Well Jack, JD, Turk, all of them too. But I knew Kim was weaker than my mom. And my mom could easily suduce Turk. So I knew that she could mess with them and screw up their lives if she wanted to.

I reached up to my neck. A locket, with a picture of me kissing my mom's cheek. Something I never ever took off, not even when we were in a fight. I unhooked it, and felt it slip down into my hand. I brought it out in front of me, covering it with my other hand. I was about seven when my mom got this for me. In the picture I was five or six. I sighed and opened my eyes. The memories vanishing, I reached

my hand out in the air between us. I tipped my hand over, the necklace spilling onto the cement.

I pulled my hand away putting it into my pocket. "Bye." I said, with that I turned on my heel and walked into the car. I buckled up then watched my dad with my mom.

He said something, she said something back as tears fell down her face. He put his hand on one side of her face and wiped away the tears with his thumb. He said something else, then kissed her forehead. He then turned away and walked to the car. As we drove away, I could see her back to the wall of the hospital, sitting on the ground crying. And I realized that maybe...maybe I cared just a little.

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okay i know jennifer freaked out a bit but i don't know, i was listening to my mp3 player and all these angry songs came on and i was just like "in character" and all these feelings like overwhelmed me, so i did what i would do.
comments are love, like duh.
and just fyi i don't hate jordan. in face, she's my favorite character (ironic, since she's like the object of my rage in this story) i also love molly *tilts head to left and daydreams* (maybe i should include her in a part of the story) *shakes head.

okay now i'll probably start the third part tomorrow, since i am really liking this story.
but i'm not sure how to write it.

-A) write about her being in california
-B) just write like 'i came back from california and ...'
-C) (which i'm liking more and more) write kind of like one tree hill & desperate housewifes is now doing. like write that she's already back but have her have a few flashbacks.

Written actually, a long time ago. On livejournal. But quit writing it since I got some pretty mean comments. I decided to repost it, since my friend begged me to.