Alex sat, waiting for Grace, trying to be patient. At least he was doing something now, not sitting helpless waiting for things to fall into his lap. He closed his eyes. Every part of him ached. He knew it was not from his illness, it was because he was missing Stevie. And he felt that loss as painfully as if he had lost a limb. How could he have survived in Argentina without her for so long? These last few days were killing him. How could he have waited so long to kiss her, to hold her, to marry her? All that time - gone. He could never get it back. He could only make the most of the time that was left.

He wondered if this was how Stevie would feel when he was gone. If every part of her would ache for him? If it would ever go away? He wondered how she would survive it? He knew he would not survive it if the situation was reversed. And how could he do that to her? Leave her now? Leave her forever? When all she asked for was that he never left her again. It wasn't much to ask for. And he wanted to do it for her so badly. He couldn't believe that it was taken out of his hands. He could not believe that he would be the one to hurt her so deeply by leaving her forever. He hated himself in that moment.

He tried to picture her in his head, it seemed so hard, and he couldn't concentrate. There had been a time he was able to picture her perfectly, every inch of her. But it seemed so long since he'd seen her, she was drifting further and further away. He decided in that moment that the doctors were wrong, all of them. There was only one thing wrong with him, and that was that Stevie wasn't here. He couldn't survive apart from her. And once she came back to him, he would be cured, he would be ok.

This was some kind of punishment, he decided. Because he had wasted so much time, precious time that he could have spent loving her. But she would come back. He had to believe that. And if he was sorry enough, and loved her enough, if he held onto her tightly enough, then maybe he would be ok, they both would. He couldn't stand it any other way. He just needed Stevie back before it was too late, and then nothing would be able to hurt him.

He just needed this stupid plan to work. He had considered, briefly, confiding about his illness to the police and asking them to try harder to find Stevie. He wondered if they would feel sorry for him, if they'd do it. He wondered what they would tell her when they found her. He didn't want that for her. He didn't want to tell another living soul about his illness. And using it to get to Stevie seemed like tempting fate somehow. He wouldn't speak about his illness, wouldn't think about it. This stupid plan would work, Stevie would come back home, and they'd be laughing about all this before too long.

He sat, waiting for her, and just concentrated on loving her. Wherever she was, he hoped his love would reach her, reach deep into her heart and touch her. And make her come back to him.

~

Stevie fell into a restless sleep that afternoon. Like every other dream she had since her wedding day, she dreamt of Alex.

This time he sat beside her bedside in the hospital. He was looking at her the way he did on their wedding day. In a way that left her no room for doubt or fear. But she still had the letters in her hand. Those strange letters that had been delivered to her, planting doubts in her mind while Alex was away. He picked them up and read them, and she waited. He laughed and tossed them away like the rubbish that they were. She felt foolish for ever doubting him, for running from him. She searched her mind for all the things she was going to ask him, all the things she was so unsure about, but they were gone. There was only him, and her, and their unborn baby. She could find no words for him.

'Close your eyes' he whispered to her, and she felt his hands gently closing her eyelids. With his hand he stroked her hair and began to sing, to her, to their child. It was one of the sweetest sounds she had ever heard, and ranked right up there with hearing the baby's heart beat for the first time.

Sleep, baby sleep, while the world passes by
I'll be the keeper of your dreams tonight
I'll be your eyes until you can see.
I'll be your voice until you can speak.
In this land of strangers I'll be the one
to love and protect you, guide and respect you,
In my arms you will be, forever home.

Sleep, baby sleep, in an ocean of love
No way of knowing what you're thinking of
Close to the heart that's where you belong
You're part of my spirit, part of my song
First last and always I'll be the one
to love and protect you, guide and respect you
In my arms you will be forever home

Have you come to show me what love's all about?
To lift up my faith higher than doubt?

When he stopped singing, she opened her eyes, but he was gone. As if he had never been there.

Stevie woke abruptly and sat up, half expecting to see Alex sitting there, his presence had been so strong in her dream. But it was only Michelle who was in the hospital room with her. She noticed that for the first time since they had brought her here she felt no pain in her abdomen, and the headache that had been plaguing her for days had vanished. She could have put it down to the medications they had given her, but she knew better. It was Alex. Seeing him, even in a dream, made everything so much better. If just a vision of him in a dream could bring such peace, she could not imagine how it would feel to have him really here.

She knew at that moment that she needed him to be here, their baby needed him. It was all they needed, and would ever need. She needed him so much that all her doubts and fears vanished. He did love her, she knew it and he would love their baby, he would cherish their baby. She had to tell him. She had waited so long for him to come home, and practiced the words to say. She had looked forward to it, seeing his eyes light up as she knew they would. Why had she run from him? What had she been so afraid of? What had she been thinking? He would not hurt her, he would not leave her, he would not abandon her and their child.

Briefly her mind wandered to the things that had happened at Drovers while he had been gone. Things he did not know about. She pushed them from her mind. He would never know. She would never tell him. Those things didn't matter now. Those days that he spent in Argentina didn't matter; the long lonely days on Drovers didn't matter. She wouldn't think of them again, and it would be like they never happened. The past didn't matter. Only the future. And suddenly the future seemed so bright.

She longed to reach over and wake Michelle and tell her she had changed her mind, she did need Alex here. But realising Michelle had sat with her all night and was now asleep, she decided to let her sleep. It could wait a few more hours. They had a whole lifetime ahead of them.

~~~~

Grace walked confidently into the police station. If she just looked like she knew what she was talking about, then perhaps they would take her seriously. She surveyed her outfit, grateful that she hadn't chosen a career in the convent, the nuns habit did not suit her.

"Can I help you Sister?" The young officer asked as he stood to his feet. He looked all of 21 years old. She looked around. He seemed to be alone, which was part of the plan. And she seemed to make him nervous which was even better.

"Sister Mary Grace." She introduced herself. They were all called 'Sister Mary' weren't they? She silently congratulated herself that her drivers licence was under her mother's maiden name just in case they wanted ID. Of course it would all come out eventually. It wouldn't take much digging to figure it out. But hopefully in the mean time Stevie would be found. After much deliberation they had come to another town. People in Gungellan knew Grace, especially the police. Now they were in another small town not too far away, with a small police department.

"Would you like to take a seat?" The young man asked.

"May God bless you for your kindness." She said, hoping it was the right thing to say, and that this young man was not terribly religious. They sat.

"How may I help you Sister?" He asked.

That's when she turned on the fake tears. She thought it a rather brilliant performance, and hoped she and Stevie would laugh about it one day.

"I have spent many hours in prayer before coming here." She told the young officer.

"Yes I'm sure Sister." He answered. He looked sincere. Her little charade seemed to work out.

"I have committed a terrible sin." She told him.

"Perhaps you ought to speak to a priest about that." He suggested, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"That's just the trouble." Grace sighed loudly and shook her head "The priest." She said to him as if this explained it.

"Uhm, what exactly about the priest?" He asked, not sure he wanted to hear it.

Grace wiped her fake tears. "I never meant for it to happen, you understand, the good Lord knows that."

"I'm not sure that I am following you, forgive me sister." The young man spoke nervously. "Perhaps if you explained it from the beginning."

"Yes alright." Grace nodded. "I was walking past the confessional, just walking past as I do every day. Very innocently you must understand. And then one day I stopped just for a moment to thank the Lord. And I couldn't help myself." She paused for dramatic effect and hid her head in feigned shame. "I will be excommunicated, I'm sure of it! Oh the shame!"

The young officer was speechless, unsure that he wanted to hear a nun unburden her soul. This was his first day on the police force and it was going to be a long day.

~~

**Forever home (A Fathers lullaby). Wally Kurth**