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CHAPTER FIVE
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Goku and Artemis had traveled for about two days, when they finally reached a small gathering of tall, ominous looking mountains covered by angry, billowing black clouds. The two travelers made their way through a steep, twisting pathway up the mountains, which undoubtedly surrounded the castle where Princess Rei was being held. The air was thick with the smell of smoke and fire, and something else that was less than pleasant to the nose.
Goku led the way up the path as a nervous Artemis crept along behind him. Artemis then suddenly reeled back from Goku and waved his paw in front of his face. "Woo, Goku did you do that? Man, you got to warn someone before you just crack one off," He yelled while making a disgusted face. "My mouth was open and everything!" He gagged out.
Goku rolled his eyes. "Believe me Artemis, if it were me, you'd be dead." He paused to sniff the air. "It's brimstone. We must be getting close.." Goku's voice was quiet as he began to climb up the side of the rocky mountain.
Artemis snorted and mumbled to himself. "Yeah right, brimstone; don't be talking bout brimstone, I know what I smelled and it wasn't no brimstone. Didn't come off of no stone neither!" He gave Goku a doubting glance as he climbed up next to him
The two travelers peered over the mountain peak, at a dark castle set on a small pile of rock in the midst of a pool of lava. A rickety bridge stretched precariously from the castle to the side of the mountains where Goku and Artemis were. Artemis's tail drooped as he listened to Goku laugh lightly.
"Sure it's big enough, but look at the location!" Joked the bigger saiya-jin.
Artemis felt the sweat trickle down his face, and slowly backed up as he watched Goku head down to the bridge. He soon scrambled after his friend and nervously called out to him. "Uh, Goku, remember when you said that level four super -saiya-jins have layers?" He swallowed thickly as Goku glanced back at him.
"Oh, aye," Goku replied.
Artemis took that to mean 'yes' and continued. "Well... I have a confession to make--" He gasped and jumped away from a pile of bleached bones. "Cats don't have layers, we wear our fear right out there on our sleeves," He squeaked out.
Goku smirked at his companion. "Wait a second, cats don't have sleeves," He said with a grin.
Artemis frowned at him. "Oh, you know what I mean!" he growled out.
Goku raised an eyebrow at his feline companion. "You can't tell me you're afraid of heights," He said in disbelief.
Artemis felt the sweat level on his skin increase tenfold as he peeked over the edge of the rocks. "No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety old bridge over a boiling lake of lava!" He eyed the bridge with mistrust and then paled as he gazed into the swirling depths of liquid flame below.
Goku smiled at the quaking cat. "Come on, Artemis, I'm right here beside you, for... emotional support. We'll tackle this thing together one little baby step at a time," He spoke reassuringly to Artemis, but the white cat didn't move till Goku slapped his rear lightly. Artemis jumped from the smack and ended up on the bridge. He felt like he would faint any second, but he glanced over his shoulder at Goku and took a breath.
"Really?" He asked.
Goku smiled at him. "Really really," He assured him.
Artemis took another breath and stepped forward slowly. "Oh, that makes me feel so much better," He said. Talking always helped him through any situation.
A snort was heard from behind Artemis as Goku tried not to laugh at his fearful companion. "Just keep moving, and don't look down." He instructed.
Artemis marched steadily, if slowly, across the decayed planks. "Keep moving, don't look down. Keep moving, don't look down." He repeated under his breath. His foot landed on a weakened board that gave under his weight. Artemis was suddenly looking straight into the red-hot lava. He let out a gasp as his eyes widened.
"Goku! I'm looking down!" He screamed hysterically as he leapt around and gave Goku a terrified look. "Ah, God I can't do this! Just let me off right now, please!" He cried.
Goku tried to reason with him. "But you're already half-way," He said.
Artemis pointed his paw past Goku. "Yeah but I know that half is safe!" He retorted.
Goku rolled his eyes. "Ok, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back," He said calmly.
Artemis tried to get around him, but every time Goku stepped to the side, Artemis stepped to the same side... there really wasn't enough room for them to get past each other side-by-side. "Goku, no wait. No, no Goku! Wait!" Artemis yelled.
Goku was making the bridge bounce and sway as he tried to move, and it was only freaking the poor feline out more. Goku grinned wickedly at Artemis.
"Come on, Artemis.. Oh, let's have a dance then shall we? Artemis, come on!" He yelled and gave the bridge a vicious swing to the left. Artemis's tail puffed out for all it was worth.
"Noo! Goku don't do that!" He shrieked. Goku gave him a somewhat concerned look.
"Oh, I'm sorry, do what? Oh, this?" He swung the bridge again, this time to the right.
Artemis glared at him, as the bridge became steady again. "Yes, that!" He snarled.
Goku smiled evilly. "Yes, do it. Ok." He smirked and violently swung the old bridge from side to side.
Artemis covered his face with his paws and sobbed to himself. "No! Goku! Oh God, I'm gonna die!" He suddenly felt his feet step onto something firm and unmoving. Artemis peeked through his paws and found that he was on solid rock, on the other side of the bridge! He had made it! "Oh!" He said in relief as Goku bent down to look him in the eyes.
Goku smirked while patting Artemis's pale cheek. "That'll do, Artemis, that'll do."
He strode towards the castle, leaving Artemis to stare after him in a slightly dazed manner. Artemis let out a small laugh. "Cool." He shook himself out of his shocked state and ran after his friend. "So where is this fire-breathing pain in the neck anyway?" He asked.
Goku waved a hand at the castle. "Inside, waiting for us to rescue her," He replied, laughing mockingly.
Artemis frowned. "I was talking about the Dragon, Goku."
Artemis crept next to Goku as they walked through the crumbling castle. Stray bones and burnt armor littered the stony ground.
"You afraid?" Artemis asked in a hushed voice.
Goku made an annoyed face and turned to the chatterbox. "No, but shh!" He ordered.
Artemis puffed out his chest. "Oh good, me neither!" He glanced about and realized that Goku had left him alone. "Ah!" He nearly collided with Goku as he ran up behind him. "'Course, there's nothing wrong with being afraid. I think it's a sensible response given the situation. Unfamiliar, dangerous situation, I might add. And with the Dragon, who breathes fire--" He jumped away from the charred remains of a knight and kept talking. "...Who breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. You know what I mean? 'Cause I sure as hell ain't no coward, I know that," He ranted to himself and to Goku.
If Artemis had been paying attention instead of talking, he wouldn't have crashed into a pile of dead knights and smoked armor, an old helmet toppling onto his head. Artemis screamed again as he came face to face with a toothy skull.
Goku clapped his hand over Artemis's mouth. "Artemis! Two things, ok? Shut. Up." He let go of the frightened feline and pulled the helmet off the cat's head, placing it on his own as he waved Artemis away. "Now, go over there and see if you can find some stairs," He directed while putting more of the armor over his body.
Artemis looked confused. "Stairs? I thought we were looking for the princess?" He questioned.
Goku tugged a glove over his right hand. "The princess will be up the stairs, in the highest room, in the tallest tower," He said, now pulling on the left glove.
Artemis gave him a quizzical look. "What makes you think she'll be there?" He asked.
Goku turned towards the inner courtyard. "I read it in a book once," He called back.
A grin spread over Artemis's face. "Well, cool. You handle the Dragon, I'll handle the stairs." He was suddenly filled with confidence as he marched deeper into the castle. "Oh, I'll find those stairs, I'll whip they butt too! That's right, those stairs won't know which way they going! Take drastic steps. Kick 'em to the curb. Don't mess with me, I'm the stair master! I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a step right here, right here and now, I'd step all over it!" He boasted aloud, trouncing into a large room.
If he had not been posing and crowing about taking over stairs, he would have noticed the abnormally tall creature that was now watching him with interest. Artemis got an eerie feeling as though he was being watched, and he turned slowly to look behind him.
Goku stood in the inner courtyard of the castle and stared up at the central tower. High above everything else it loomed, and a tiny window shed light into the dark sky. "Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the-"
He was cut off by a scream from within the castle.
"Dragon!" Shrieked Artemis as he turned tail and bolted from the angry, large creature. He screamed wildly as he ran straight for Goku. A huge dragon that looked like she was almost 20 feet tall came crashing after him; its blonde hair moved in the wind, as it opened its mouth to shoot a stream of fire-like energy at Artemis's head.
Goku's eyes widened as the flames approached. "Artemis, look out!" He yelled, pushing the surprised and scared feline down. He yelped and jumped out of the way just in time to avoid the flames himself.
Artemis crouched down on his hands and knees. His tail stood straight up and unfortunately had got singed by the fiery blast. "Ahh!" He yelped in both fear and pain.
The dragon snarled angrily as she stepped towards the fallen Artemis. She was about to fry the cowering cat when a smirking Goku yanked on her long, tail. The dragon moved her tail quick and sent the shocked saiya-jin sailing high and far through the air. Goku yelled out as he finally crashed down through the roof of the tower and landed with a thud on the floor. A slim body sat up on a large bed and stared curiously at him.
The dragon was shooting flames after a fleeing Artemis, chasing him out onto the grounds. She was mildly amused by the smaller creature's comical way of escaping, which was running around with his paws waving over his head as he screamed his lungs out and had his tail puffed out like a cotton ball. The dragon walked up next to the freaked out feline as he ran across a narrow stone bridge. Artemis let out a gasp when his escape was literally kicked out from under him by the dragon's paw. He barely had enough time to jump onto another part of the bridge before it too was sent into the lava below, by one of Luna's massive swaps.
Artemis looked around himself in fear.... All his escape routes were gone; he was standing on a piece of bridge that was barely wide enough for his feet. To make matters worse, the dragon was now looming over him and snarling. Smoke curled out from her nostrils as she bared her sharp teeth. Artemis felt like fainting.
"Ah! Oh! Wah! No, no, oh no! Ah!" He cringed as the dragon snapped his teeth at him.
"Oh, what large teeth you have! I mean, I mean white, sparkling teeth! I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but, you must bleach or something, cause that is one dazzling smile you got there... and do I detect a hint of minty freshness?" Artemis chattered away in a frantic attempt to flatter his way out of death.
Surprisingly, Filia was no longer snapping and growling at him; instead, she was looking at him with a surprised, sly smile. She waved her long tail at Artemis as the nervous feline coughed. Artemis blinked down at the large tail with a pink ribbon tied around it. "You know what else? You're, you're... a girl dragon!" He gave Filia a cheesy grin. "Well, sure! I mean uh, of course you're a girl dragon, 'cause you're just... reeking of female power and uh--"
Artemis tilted his head back as Filia leaned in, leering down at him and batting her blue eyes. Artemis felt sweat build up on the back of his neck. "What's a matter, you got something in your eyes?" He asked. Filia grinned and blew a smoke ring in the shape of a heart out of her mouth at Artemis.
The white feline felt his tail fuzz out as he watched the smoke heart travel towards him. "Hey, oh... whoa!" He groaned frightfully as he finally realized it. "Man, I'd really love to stay, but, uh, I'm an asthmatic and uh, I don't know if it would work....you gonna be blowing smoke rings and stuff," He rambled meekly, then turned his head and yelled out frantically. "Goku!"
Filia smirked to herself as she casually grabbed Artemis by the neck with her mouth. She sauntered into the castle with him clutched gently between her teeth.
"No, Goku! Goku! Ahh!" Artemis cried in vain as he was carried away into the dark castle.
Goku slowly stood up from the rubble on the tower floor and brushed the dirt and debris off his chest. He didn't notice the princess, who was grinning like a mad man at him. Rei flopped back onto the bed quickly before he had a chance to notice her. Then, on a second's thought, she reached over and snatched some flowers out of the vase on the nightstand close to her, and lay back down with the bouquet clutched to her chest, closing her eyes as if asleep. She was so excited she could barely keep still. Her rescuer had finally come! She was perfectly still as Goku approached her small form and leaned down over her. Rei slowly puckered his lips in anticipation...this was it.
Goku put his hands on the slim, rounded shoulders and firmly shook the short princess, her head rolling back and forth. Rei felt her eyes swirl as she yelled out in shock. "Ah! What?" She gazed up in confusion at the large man above her.
"Wake up! Are you princess Rei?" Goku asked in a tired voice.
Rei smiled at him. "I am... Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me," She replied.
Goku smiled warmly at the princess. "Oh that's nice. Now let's go!" He yelled, and turned for the door.
Rei reached out to him and tried to change his mind. "But wait! Sir knight, this be our first meeting. Should it not be a wonderful, romantic moment?" She asked.
Goku raised an eyebrow at the princess, who was now lying on her bed in a very provocative position. One arm was slung over her forehead, curved hips pushed up into the air and feet pointed towards the end of the bed. Her come-hither stare was very unnerving to the saiya-jin. Goku walked back over to the bed and took hold of the princess's wrist.
"Yeah, sorry princess," He said flatly, while dragging the slight body off the bed.
Rei cried out indignantly as she was hauled over to the door. "Hey! What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window! Down a rope onto your valiant steed!" She huffed as Goku gave her a surprised look.
"You've had a lot of time to plan this out, haven't you?" he asked. Rei nodded and grinned at him.
Goku rammed his shoulder into the locked door, breaking it open. He then dragged Rei down the stairs. Rei tried to reason with his strange rescuer as she stumbled along behind him. "But we have to savor this moment! You could... recite a lovely poem for me! A ballad, a sonnet, a limerick... or, something!" She ended with a snarl and jerked her aching wrist from Goku's hand.
The saiya-jin shook his head at the annoyed princess. "I don't think so," He said.
Rei ran a hand through her long, raven hair. "Well, can I at least know the name of my champion?" She asked.
Goku shrugged at her. "Goku," He said.
Rei smoothed out her dress and lifted her chin. "Sir Goku," She pulled a blue handkerchief from her pocket and held it out to the bewildered knight. "I pray that you take this favor, as a token of my gratitude," She explained.
Goku reached out and took the cloth. "Uh, thanks," He replied, and used the gesture to wipe the sweat off his forehead. The visor on his helmet was making it terribly hot in there. He handed the sweat stained handkerchief back to the princess. Rei took the cloth and wrinkled her nose in disgust at it. Her comment was lost in the sound of Filia's roar.
Rei gaped at Goku. "You didn't slay Luna?!" She cried in shock and disbelief.
Goku grabbed her hand and began to run again. "It's on my 'to do' list, now, come on!"
Rei waved her free hand in the air as she chided the tall knight. "But, this isn't right! You're meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying....that's what all the other knights did!" She explained.
Goku glanced at a fallen knight, whose smoke-lined profile was stained against the burned wall. "Yeah, right before they burst into flames!" He retorted.
Rei frowned. "You know, that's not the point." She let out a grunt as Goku halted and let go of her hand. The knight then began to glance around as if he were looking for something. The sound of another roar made him head towards a closed door to the right.
Rei gaped at him. "What are you---where are you going? The exit's over there!" She shouted, pointing with her finger in the opposite direction.
Goku turned towards her and shrugged his shoulders. "I have to grab my puss," He said.
Rei flushed and glared at him. "What kind of knight are you?" She snapped.
Goku lifted a finger at her and grinned. "One of a kind."
Artemis was surprised he hadn't passed out yet. Filia was even more frightening now then when she had been trying to roast him. At least then he wasn't pinned to the floor, and Filia wasn't being too careful with her claws either.
"Look, look, slow down baby, please... look, I believe it's healthy to get to know someone for a... long period off time. Just call me old-fashioned you know. I don't wanna, you know, rush into a, a physical relationship. I'm not ready for uh, a commitment of this, uh. magnitude... really is the word I'm looking for, magnitude."
Filia smirked at her prisoner and reached down to stroke his face with the back of her claw hand.
Artemis glared at her. "Hey, that is unwanted physical contact!" He yelled. He then watched Filia light the candles on a chandelier above them with her breath. He began to sweat again as the large feline bent down towards him again. "Hey, what are you doing? Ok, ok, listen! Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. I mean, we really should get to know each other first, you know, as friends, or maybe even pen pals! 'Cause I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards to read, and oh! You know I would really love to stay but-- "
Artemis trailed off as Filia reached down to squeeze his backside, he felt the large paws travel up his rear to his tail and give it a playful tug. Artemis gasped. "Hey, hey, hey! Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail, girl, you're gonna tear it off!" He growled as his tail was gently tugged on again. Unbeknownst to Artemis and Luna, Goku was sneaking above them and trying to figure out how to get Artemis away. He grabbed onto the chain that held the chandelier while Artemis blabbered nervously at Luna.
"I don't give permission to-hey! What are you gonna do with that? Hey now, no wait, wait, ah, ah no! No, no, no, no!" He yelled as Filia lifted him off the floor and leaned in to kiss him.
Artemis shut his eyes and pulled his head back. He let out a startled grunt as he was suddenly flung to the floor, and he hadn't been kissed. He opened his eyes to watch in shock as Filia kissed Goku instead of him. Filia opened her eyes and smiled down at--wait a second, this was not her Artemis! She roared in anger as Goku jumped out of her grasp and ran with Artemis up the stairs and towards the door, as Goku let go of the chain he had used to swing down and kick Artemis away with. When he did that, the chandelier fell from the ceiling and landed on Filia, fitting snugly around her neck. Filia barreled after her escaping Artemis; hissing, roaring and shooting fire as she went.
Goku snatched Artemis up under his arm and ran out of the room. He grabbed Rei as he passed by the confused princess.
Artemis peered out and waved at Rei. "Hi, princess!" He smiled at the blinking princess.
"It talks!" Rei said in astonishment at the talking cat.
Goku snorted. "Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick."
He slid down a fallen pillar and groaned as a cracked piece of the structure smacked against his groin. He managed to keep going though, leading Filia on a not so merry chase through the hundreds of pillars in the castle, the dragon's chain trailing behind the entire way. He finally stopped and set Rei and Artemis down, pushing them towards the exit.
"Ok you two, head for the exit! I'll take care of Luna." He picked up a sword as Rei and Artemis ran for the bridge. As soon as they were gone, Goku slammed the sword into the links of the chain that was strung all along the pillars of the room; it was the chain that connected to the chandelier stuck around Filia's neck. Goku dashed after the others and the three of them bolted over the bridge as Filia blew a blast of fire at them.
"Run!" Goku ordered.
The three of them dashed over the bridge, just a step ahead of the burning cloud. The bridge held out for a few seconds, but the flames and the weight of the bodies made it snap. Goku, Rei and Artemis clung to their half of the bridge as it fell through the air. Artemis lost his grip when the wooden bridge slammed into the mountainside. He screamed as he plummeted towards the lava, but Goku caught him by his tail as he passed him. Filia came charging out after them, and the chain snapped up and caught against the pillars in the castle; the sword acting like an anchor as it shortened the length of Filia's rope and pulling her to a harsh stop. The huge dragon howled desperately for Artemis as she was held back by the chain. Artemis had finally passed out, though, and couldn't hear her as Goku carried him up the bridge and over the mountaintop.
Rei slid down the hillside and onto the small cliff-edge. She grinned happily and spun in a quick circle. "You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing, you're wonderful, you're-"
She trailed off as Goku threw Artemis down the hill and then slid into him, knocking him out of his unconscious state and onto a rock. Rei rubbed the back of her head. "A little unorthodox, I'll admit, but, thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt." She bowed gracefully before Goku, completely unaware that Artemis was looking her perfectly rounded butt over with an admiring glance.
Artemis turned his head to the side and coughed. "Ahem."
He grinned as Rei turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "And where would a brave knight be without his noble feline?" He asked as she hugged Artemis.
The white cat beamed at Goku. "Awww right, I hope you heard that! She called me a noble feline. She thinks I'm a noble feline!" He grinned stupidly as Goku rolled his eyes.
Rei stood up and stepped towards Goku. "The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good sir knight."
She frowned as Goku backed up. "Ah, no," He said nervously.
Rei was confused. "Why not?" She asked.
Goku pointed to the top of his helmet. "I.. have helmet hair," He said lamely.
Rei smiled at him. "Please, I wouldst look upon the face of my rescuer."
Goku waved a finger at her. "Oh no you wouldn't--ust," He said.
Rei lowered her gaze for a moment then shyly peered up at Goku. "But, how will you kiss me?" She asked.
Goku nearly tripped over a pile of rocks as he stumbled back into them. "What? That wasn't in the job description!" He glanced at Artemis for help.
The white cat grinned at him. "Maybe it's a perk!" He tried.
Rei waved her finger at them. "No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes! A princess, locked in a tower and beset by a monster is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share... true loves first kiss." She smiled at Goku, who looked more than nervous.
Artemis shook his head. "With Goku? Wait, whoa, hold on, you think Goku is your true love?" He asked.
Rei nodded. "Well, yes." She frowned as Artemis and Goku stared at each other, and they began to laugh. "What's so funny?" She demanded.
Artemis fell over and kicked his legs in the air as he laughed. "You think Goku is your true love!" He gasped out between giggles.
Goku chuckled and looked at the annoyed princess. "Let's just say, I'm not your type, ok?" He took a breath to calm his laughter.
Rei shook her head and stepped forward. "Of course you are. You're my rescuer. Now...now remove your helmet," She smiled as she spoke.
Goku waved his hands in front of her. "Look, I really don't think this is a good idea," He said.
Rei sighed. "Just take off the helmet," She said.
Goku crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not going to," He said stubbornly.
Rei glared at him. "Take it off," She ordered.
Goku turned his head to the side. "No!" He replied.
Rei looked enraged as she bellowed. "NOW!"
Goku and Artemis both looked shocked by the power in the small princess's voice. "Ok! Easy! As you command, your highness," Goku droned out while lifting his helmet from his face.
Rei's eyes widened as she took in the wild hair, the strange golden eyes, and the pinkish fur that lined the sides of his neck. She frowned sadly as Goku gave him his best smile.
"You...you're a, a saiya-jin," She said dismally.
Goku lifted an eyebrow at her. "Oh, you were expecting prince charming?" He asked the now annoyed Rei, as she put her hands on her hips and stared up at him
"Well, yes, actually. Oh no, this is all wrong! You're not supposed to be a saiya-jin!" She cried in dismay.
Goku sighed. "Princess Rei, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Darien. He's the one who wants to marry you," He explained.
Rei stared at him. "Then why didn't he come rescue me?" She asked.
Goku shrugged his shoulders. "Good question. You should ask him that when we get there," He replied.
Rei frowned. "But, I have to be rescued by my true love! Not by some saiya-jin and his.. pet!" She snapped.
Artemis glared at the prince. "Well, so much for noble feline," He muttered.
Goku sighed again. "Look, Princess, you're not making my job any easier."
He frowned as Rei walked over to a pile of large rocks, distancing herself from the other two.
"Well, I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Darien that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here!" She crossed her arms and sat down firmly on one of the rocks.
Goku growled as he threw the rest of the armor off and stomped over to the princess. "Hey! I'm nobody's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy," He growled right into the princess's face.
Rei sneered at him. "You wouldn't dare," She challenged.
The princess let out a yelp as Goku easily lifted her off the rock and threw her over his shoulder.
Goku called back to the surprised Artemis. "You coming, Artemis?" He asked.
Rei glared at him. "Put me down!" She commanded.
Artemis grinned and trotted along behind them. "Yup, I'm right behind you!" He replied.
Rei smacked the back of Goku's shoulders with her fists. "Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down!" She let out an angry shriek and kicked her legs in an attempt to get Goku in the face.
The tall saiya-jin pinned the princess's thighs against his chest and frowned at her screams of outrage. This was going to be a long trip back.