Author Note: So, as you might notice, this fic takes place after a slightly AU ending to Battle City. Why? Because it just worked more easily that way. Yes, I know that's a terrible reason, and I am suitably ashamed. Also, I'm just letting myself write what I want with this, so beware of wackiness. Well, this story is only just this side of crackfic anyway, so I don't feel too badly.

Joey had thought that all of this Egyptian crap was over when Yugi had defeated Marik in the Battle City tournament. Sure, he'd known that Yami would be seeking his memories, just like Joey was seeking to become a more powerful duellist, but in spite of these life changing goals, he'd really thought they were putting most of this drama behind them. Maybe it was naive, but he'd really hoped that they could finally move on from Battle City, hopefully go back to the good ol' days before all of that drama, when they were just playing a card game and... Well, okay, maybe it had been an awfully long time since they'd just been playing a card game, but still, he could settle for the days of Duelist Kingdom, when they'd all had a simple, easy, no-need-for-questions-of-morality type goal to complete and managed to have fun while working toward that goal. Those had been the days...

Comparatively speaking, of course.

So, yeah, Joey really had had his heart set on tonight. Sitting in Yugi's living room and holding their own little tournament (with absolutely NO Kaiba affiliation at all being its best feature as far as Joey was concerned), just the four of them and Duke Devlin, hanging out like in the old days, playing Duel Monsters without all of the fancy holograms and posturing for once. Oh, yes, it would have been awesome.

If only he had not answered the door to find Ishizu Ishtar standing on the Mutou's doorstep, a nasty looking bruise on her cheek and her Millennium necklace conspicuously absent from her person.

"I need to speak with Yugi Mutou," she had said. "It is a matter of grave importance. The fate of the world may be at stake."

"Oh, god dammit," said Joey. "Not again."

So now, instead of having a fun filled night of goofing off and playing Duel Monsters, they gathered together in Yugi's living room, huddled around Ishizu. They sat in silence for what could have only been moments, but felt like eternity, the only sound the echo of the television Yugi's grandpa had playing in the kitchen, as Ishizu sipped on the glass of water that Yugi had fetched for her from the kitchen and patted delicately at a cut above her left eyebrow with a tissue. In their spots beside her on the couch, Joey could see Téa and Tristan fidgeting awkwardly, worried looks on both of their faces. Duke was perched on the arm of the sofa at Tristan's elbow, looking as odd and out of place as he usually did at these sorts of gatherings. Yami (it must be Yami, now, he thought, though he wasn't sure quite when they made the switch) stood across from her, his arms crossed and a serious look on his face, looking as if he were just barely restraining himself from pacing. Joey himself was exiled to the floor. Apparently no one had appreciated the hilarity of his cheerfully calling out "Yugi, come quick! It's the end of the world again!" as he led Ishizu into the house. He picked at some lint on the floor, pouting slightly. Whatever. They might as well get a sense of humour about this stuff, since the days when their lives were in peril now seemed to far outnumber the ones where all the worst thing that happened was a detention or a lot of homework. Or losing another duel to Kaiba.

"Pharaoh," Ishizu finally began, setting her glass down on the coffee table and refusing to meet his eyes. "I don't quite know how to say this. After all, when you entrusted my family with our chosen Millennium Items, I assured you that I would do my best to keep them safe. I tried to keep that vow, Pharaoh, I assure you, but..."

"What happened?" asked Yami, obviously dreading the answer.

Ishizu balled her fists up in her lap.

"I'm afraid that this morning I had a run in with a certain thief with whom we are both familiar."

Yami clenched his fists.

"Bakura?"

Ishizu nodded, raising her head.

"He broke into our temporary dwelling in Domino City, where we have been staying while my brother was recovers from the trauma his body had endured when possessed by his evil side. The thief somehow discovered our location and came to steal our Millennium Items."

"And he escaped?" asked Yami, in a low voice.

Ishizu nodded.

"And our searches for him yielded nothing of value. He seems to have completely disappeared."

"Come to think of it, Bakura wasn't in school today," said Téa. "I didn't even think anything about it."

"Yes," Ishizu said. "It seems that he is much more adept for this sort of thing than I had previously thought."

"Wait, Ishizu," Yami says, seriously. "You haven't said... Tell me he didn't succeed."

Ishizu was silent for a moment, and Joey could feel unease coiling heavily in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm afraid I cannot tell you that, my Pharaoh," said Ishizu miserably. "He came upon us as we were resting. My brother is still in his weakened state, and he could do nothing to prevent the theft. I myself was caught unawares, and just as I realized what was happening, he overtook me. As you can see, he was not overly gentle. When I awoke, my Necklace was gone."

Téa gasped, and the others shook their heads despairingly. Joey frowned.

"I don't mean to sound rude or anything, Ishizu," he interjected. "But... how come you didn't see this coming?"

The others glared fiercely at him in annoyance, obviously feeling that he did sound rude, after all, but the Egyptian woman only sighed.

"I'm afraid my sight was limited. I do not know how, but it seems that the thief somehow managed to utilize his Millennium Ring to block my Necklace from predicting his actions. Such a feat is not impossible."

Yami nodded, comprehendingly.

"Yes," he said. "I see. I've always felt that the Ring has many untapped powers that none of us knew about, and of course, we know that the Eye has a range of unusual powers. Who knows what the two can do when their powers are combined. "

"Man, this is not good," said Tristan, with a sigh.

"No kidding," said Duke. ""I mean, he could do something like that with just those two items."

Tristan nodded. "Exactly. And now you're telling us that Evil Bakura has his ring, Pegasus' eye, your necklace, and Marik's rod?"

"No," said Ishizu hastily. "That is the one good thing that has come out of it. Although he has gotten my Necklace, the thief was, at least, unable to take the Millennium Rod."

"What? Why not?" asked Téa.

"Yeah, what happened?" added Joey.

"It was strange," said Ishizu musingly. "According to my brother, he had already wrenched my necklace from me, and went after the Rod. As I have said before, both my brother and Odion are still much too weak to fight off an enemy, and yet, when the thief reached for it, the item eluded him. There was a flash of light and it was simply... gone."

"Gone?" Joey asked. "Gone where?"

"Well," said Ishizu. "I do have some residual psychic powers after being the owner of the Millennium Ring for such a long time, and from the feelings I am getting, I imagine that it has simply fled to its rightful owner. It seems that, just as Bakura's ring is linked to himself and cannot be taken from him by force, the rod also is linked, in some lesser capacity, to the reincarnation of the priest for whom it was made."

"Which is...?" Duke prompted.

Yami opened his mouth to answer, but it was Téa who spoke next, her voice raised to a shriek.

"Kaiba!"

"Yes," said Ishizu, giving her a strange look. "Seto Kaiba. He is—"

"No," Téa exclaimed, pointing toward the kitchen television, just visible from their position behind the cracked door. "Look!"

Yami strode quickly across the room and slid the door open forcefully.

"Grandpa, turn that up!"

Startled, Solomon Mutou quickly complied, and the voice of the young reporter suddenly flooded the room.

"...outside Kaiba Corp, after its CEO, seventeen year old Seto Kaiba, was apparently found unconscious a short while ago by police responding to what was apparently a glitch in the security system. According to paramedics, when found Mr. Kaiba showed no signs of physical injury or abnormality, but simple could not be wakened. Insiders say that Mr. Kaiba was testing a new version of his Duel Monsters hologram technology when the accident occurred, but have no comment on whether this accident is related to those tests. As of yet, paramedics have yet to determine a cause for Mr. Kaiba's condition."

"Bakura," hissed Yami, clenching his fists.

Ishizu clapped a hand over her mouth.

"I had no idea he would act again so soon," she whispered, sounding shocked. "How could he have known? What has he done?"

Joey wondered at the fear he could hear in her voice. Was Kaiba really that important? So important that his condition cause this much worry to a woman whose usual concern, aside from her brother, was a huge as the fate of the world?

"...just received confirmation that Mr. Kaiba has been declared to be in a comatose state and is being moved to a hospital as we speak. Look, here come the paramedics now!"

The reporter rushed forward, along with about twenty of her colleague's, taking pictures and shoving microphones in the faces of the policemen that stood blocking the paramedics from their assault.

"Vultures," Joey hissed, disgusted despite his dislike for Seto Kaiba.

The cameraman managed to get a close up of Kaiba's face as they rolled his out on a gurney. The young CEO lay perfectly still, his lips parted slightly and his eyes open and vacant. He looked dead, rather than simply in coma, and Joey barely repressed a shiver at that thought. Just as quickly as the flash of Kaiba had come, it disappeared once more into the mass of frantically waving arms and camera flashes. The ambulance doors closed with an audible slam and the siren began as the vehicle rushed off down the street. The reporter brushed her hair out of her face and turned back to the camera, completely unapologetic.

"We will continue covering this story outside of Mr. Kaiba's usual hospital, Sister of Mercy, and keep our viewers updated on his condition. Back to you, Keiko."

"In other news..."

Click.

Yami pressed the off button on the television, his expression carefully blank. They all regarded each other for a moment, as Solomon blinked at them in confusion and Ishizu stood very still by the couch, lost in her own guilty thoughts. Then, making some kind of collective decision, the group nodded together, and they all ran as one through the living room and out the front door, turning down the street in the direction of the hospital, Yami (or was it now Yugi?) at the lead. Glancing back, Joey saw that Ishizu herself was stumbling after them, looking equally as panicked. He could hear Yugi's grandpa calling out after them, asking where they were going, but everyone seemed to feel the urgency that Joey himself felt, realizing that speed was of the essence here, and no one, not even Yugi, slowed down to explain the situation to the old man.

They just kept running.

If this were the actual show, I keep imagining that this chapter would end in one of those freeze frame line-drawing , characters paused in mid-run shots that they do at the end of episodes to be REALLY DRAMATIC. That amuses me beyond reason, and I'm not sure why. All the Joey chapters seem to morph into the anime and not the positive aspects of it, either. Oh, well.