Well, here we go! Please, try not to hate me! Lol!

*

"Damn," Lexie mumbled as she peered out her windshield once she got back in her car after taking Meredith inside. The rain was really coming down. Lexie shook her head ruefully. Normally, she loved nights like this. When nature took over, and seemed to wash everything away. It always made her feel very small in comparison to the universe. Normally, she would savor the chance to be out in weather like this, but at this particular moment there was only one place she wanted to be.

Home.

It was strange how she had come to think of her and Mark's apartment that way after only two months. For most of her life, home had been a small split level house that she had grown up in with her parents and her little sister; but no longer. Home was with Mark now.

Home was their apartment, and would be their penthouse, and perhaps one day a house.

Home was with him.

Things had changed so irrevocably in such a short time. For all her talk of soul mates and fate, it still surprised her that she had found just that. While Lexie believed that to be the case with her and Mark, she never would have allowed herself to imagine such a thing as recently as a year ago.

Probably because she had never felt like this before.

All three of her relationships before Mark seemed to be a gradual easing into love, or they were completely one-sided; it had never been like this. She had never been so impulsive, or relied so heavily on her feelings. She had been idealistic, sure, but never so reckless. Lexie smiled to herself when she thought of how for once, she had made the right decision.

How different would her life be now if she had deemed Mark too risky, or continued to throw herself at George despite overwhelming evidence regarding his indifference?

It was a scary idea to even contemplate.

The rain continued to fall on the ride home from Meredith's house. It was starting to collect as well, in the gutters, as it rushed to sewer openings. This much rain was hardly seen, even in Seattle, but Lexie didn't notice. Her mind had moved on from Mark and was now focused on the conversation she had with Meredith.

It was a confusing idea to her that Meredith was trying in the only way she knew how to be a sister, but still not doing it successfully. Lexie tried to think back to how her relationship with Molly had been when they were growing up. Had there been this constant tension? Lexie remembered being annoyed with her when she tagged along or when she took something without asking, but there had always been an unspoken agreement that they had each other's backs.

They had been a family; first and foremost, they had been there for each other.

But Meredith had never had that.

Lexie tried to imagine what it had been like to be the great Ellis Grey's daughter, but her mind couldn't seem to give her a clear picture. She had never known much about Meredith's mom until she came to Seattle Grace, but then she started taking care of her dad and things had been mentioned. Her father seemed to curse Ellis as much as he had admired her. It had utterly confused Lexie at the time, but now that she thought about it, it made sense.

Meredith was a perfect combination of that conundrum.

She had lived in her mother's shadow, but at the same time had probably resented her for that. From the way Meredith was with Derek, Lexie guessed that deep down her sister just wanted to be happy, but really had not the skills or knowledge of how to.

It would be so simple if she knew what Meredith wanted from her. Lexie never knew when to back off, or try again. But after what Meredith had told her tonight, Lexie thought that it was worth trying again.

It was worth it for her sister.

Lexie slowed the car as she turned the corner, looking at the clock on the dashboard. It was a little before one, and she should be home in fifteen minutes as long as there wasn't traffic. She smiled as she thought about what awaited her in their lovely apartment.

Mark.

Lexie grinned to herself as she replayed the image of his expression as it had been when she left earlier. He truly seemed to begrudge any interruption they had when they were at home.

That was a good thing though, Lexie thought. She too wanted their time together to be as little interrupted as possible.

The pattering of the rain on the windshield and the swish of the wipers lulled Lexie's mind as she drove. It made her think back to just a month ago when she and Mark had been driving home from a shift at the hospital.

It had been raining that night too, but it had been lighter and warmer.

"I love this weather," Lexie had said, her smile curling up at the corners as she drove Mark's sports car back to their apartment.

"Don't talk to me," he had said, looking out the window.

"Oh, come on. Stop pouting."

"No," Mark replied. "I'm mad at you."

"Why? Cause I gave you a sex sprain? Or because you had to let Alex assist you in the OR today?" Lexie shook her head happily. Mark could be such a baby.

"First of all," Mark said, wagging his finger and looking at her. "You did not give me a…"

"Sex sprain?" Lexie supplied.

Mark waved his hand. "Yeah, that. Saying that you did would imply that somehow I was unequal to the task of keeping up with you, which I assure you is not the case. Second of all, I couldn't care less that Karev was in the OR with me today. That lightweight could learn a thing or two from me."

Lexie had coughed to smother her laugh. "Don't worry Mark. You are still King of the Bedroom and the OR."

"Damn straight, I am."

"And no one could take your titles."

"Of course they couldn't," Mark muttered.

"But that doesn't change the fact that you hurt your back from too much sex with me." Lexie smirked. "Guess that makes me Queen of the Bedroom, huh?"

Mark grunted. "Please, I could have you pinned down and panting anytime Grey."

"Fine, then you can show me tonight," Lexie had said.

"No, not tonight," Mark replied.

"Why not?"

"Cause tonight I need to ice my back."

Lexie's gleeful laughter had been his only response.

Thinking back on moments like that now, Lexie couldn't help but grin as she remembered them. Mark was her equal in every way that mattered, but more importantly, she was his.

Suddenly, Lexie felt herself lose control of the car. It was hydroplaning in the rain, her wheels losing traction with the ground. For one horrible moment, Lexie felt like her heart was going to stop. She tightened her fingers on the wheel and tried to remember what she knew about moments like this. Steer in to the skid, yes, that was right, but there was no time. It was happening too quickly, so she relied purely on instinct and slammed on her brakes.

Her tires seemed to find purchase on the ground at the very moment she started to break because they jerked and halted her car after about ten feet.

Initially, Lexie couldn't move. Her elbows seemed locked as she sat there, panting in her car at the close call she had nearly had. She had grown up driving in weather such as this, but that didn't prepare her fore the powerlessness that she felt when she lost control of the car. There had been a moment, a brief moment, when all she had felt was panic.

Her car was utterly still now, but the rain continued to fall, and Lexie could smell a slight burning coming from her brakes. She released her death grip on the steering wheel, and tried to calm her breathing.

Lexie realized she was sitting in the middle of an intersection, with nothing but a green light beckoning her car across. She tried not to think about the consequences of what would have happened had the light been red. Lexie took a deep breath, and started to move her foot to step on the accelerator when she saw movement out of the corner of her eye.

The next moment felt like that cheesy part in a movie when the main character knows he is about to die.

Lexie relived her entire life in a moment.

She saw that puppy she had as a child, and the tears she had cried when it had been put to sleep. She saw her sister and her in their nightgowns the Christmas they had gotten bikes, and the scraped knees that followed. She saw her dad, and the way he had gathered her and Molly into his arms whenever he had come home from work. "How are my girls?" He would always say.

And she saw her mother.

So many moments of the woman who had been the greatest influence on her life. She saw her when she was little and she had been lost within the mall, and the look of relief and worry that dominated her mother's face when the security guard had released Lexie's hand. She saw her on one summer vacation they had taken when Susan had taught her daughter how to swim, and the joy on her face when Lexie could do it on her own. She saw her mother helping her fix her hair for the prom, and the look of relief in her eyes when Lexie had come in the door at one in the morning with a plastic tiara dangling between her fingers. She saw the pride when Lexie had graduated from high school and college, and the way that she could hardly see her mother's eyes because of the camera which was constantly clicking.

And she saw her tombstone. She relived that moment of utter grief when she had been looking down at her mother's coffin as dirt had covered it.

She saw Meredith, and Derek, and the look on Sadie's face as Lexie held a scalpel to her body.

But the one face that she saw, the one face that was permanently etched in her mind came with ice blue eyes.

Mark.

She could feel it all again. She could see it all again. She could hear it all again.

…

"Well, you're my half-sister's boyfriend's best friend, so I..."

"You thought that makes us friends?"

…

"When I like someone I make sure they know it. Life's too short to live any other way."

…

"What if he doesn't like me back?"

"Then he's an idiot."

…

"Thank you, but maybe next time?"

"No, Lassie. There won't be a next time."

…

"Teach me."

"Oh, Lexie."

…

"Come on, am I really so bad?"

"No, I am."

…

"I wish things were different. I wish we were different."

"But they aren't. And we aren't."

…

"I am done trying to stay away from you. So done."

"Me too."

…

"When you look at me like that, I can't help but think…"

"What?"

"That I wish I could do this in front of everyone. That I wish we could be Mark and Lexie in front of everyone."

…

"You don't have to go."

"I really do. Or I'll never leave."

"So never leave."

…

"He's my brother. I don't know what to do."

"I know that this is hard for you. I know what you might have to give up, but Mark, you have to choose. It is not ideal, and God knows that you never should have to do this, but Derek has made that impossible. So you have to choose."

"Lexie…"

…

"You, I choose you. It will always be you, Lex."

…

"You…you see a future for us?"

"I can see a forever for us."

…

"Mark, I love you."

"Oh Lexie, I love you too."

…

"I want to have a baby with you."

…

"I didn't think this was possible."

"What?"

"I want you even more now."

…

"I could never imagine being anyone else's Lexie. I love you."

"God, I love you. You're everything, Lex. Just everything."

…

"No, you don't get kisses when you leave me in the middle of the night. My kisses are for girlfriends who stay right here."

…

"I love you, Lexie."

…

All those remembrances came at her in a rush. As if they were happening at this very moment. But all of those memories felt like nothing but intangibles as Lexie watched in horror as a pickup truck slammed into the side of her car.

She had no time to think, but her lips did form one word.

Mark.

*
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