Disclaimer:
I do not own anything, all the characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.
Carlisle POV
One year later
At first I thought I was a monster condemned to hell, to be a murderer. I tried to kill myself. I figured that it would only be a matter of time before I could no longer deny my nature. I tried to stab myself, but my skin was like marble and all I managed to do was dent a perfectly good knife, I tried drowning myself but I did not need to breathe. I tried again and again for months, but nothing worked. Though as time went by I became weaker and my eyes became the darkest, black I had ever seen; each day somehow managing to get even blacker still!
It became harder and harder to resist. In the end I just hoped that if I didn't feed for long enough I would die. But even I had to admit as the months went by it seemed unlikely. I hid from society, fled company, living in the outskirts of towns and in woods and forests. Yet still the occasional humans crossed my path. Making it almost impossible for me to resist the calling of their blood. At first I tried to eat normal food, but it only made me sick.
However my life changed forever; again; one particular sunny afternoon, in a wood near my home town. It was a particularly warm day, and I lay on the faintly damp, soil in a clearing. The trees surrounded me, tall and imposing. I could feel the suns delightful, warm rays hitting my white skin making it sparkle, like diamonds. It was during moment like this that I almost felt human again. I cherish every moment. I was just lying there peacefully, thinking about my old life, the life I had lost, when I heard a noise. Followed by a delicious, mouth watering smell. It smelled faintly of iron yet it seemed wonderful to me, almost heavenly. The noises then became louder and the scent grew stronger till it was all I could think about. Then I saw an injured animal, a deer come into the clearing. It looked at me curiously as I watched it closely with my eyes.
I felt the now familiar tingling as the back of my throat become stronger till I couldn't bare it any longer. I pounded on the deer and sunk my teeth into it expertly, as if I had done it all my life, finding a vein straight away. It tasted so good, and I felt some of my strength return to me. Then I saw something float up.
I drew back my thirst satisfied for the moment. I looked down horrified at the dead deer in my arms. Was this any better that killing a human?When I was a human I ate meat all the time, this was no different really I thought trying to convince myself. I sighed confused. Maybe, just maybe I didn't have to be a monster. Maybe I could live among people and live in harmony my extremely long life. I might even be able to help people. No I thought that would be expecting too much.
I hadn't seen my father in months and had no idea how he was. So I decided after feeding a few more times to pay him a visit. I stole some clothes to replace my now completely ruined ones. And took to the streets for the first time in months, keeping to the shadows. Making sure no one got a good look at my face. It was quite easy as the streets were dark and not many people ventured out this late at night.
I arrived at my old home quicker than expected and knocked quietly on the new, wooden door, before I lost my nerve. I heard movements inside and waited expectantly. The door opened to reveal my father, his bright blonde hair had streaks of grey in it and he looked visibly older. I wondered if my "death" had done that to him. " Who is it?…. Who's there?" he asked his voice making me feel sad. It was the same as it has always been all through my childhood, but slightly more croaky. " Speak up!!" he said sounding fed up. I just stood there staring at him silent like an idiot. What if he didn't except me? I thought. I remember how much I mean to my father . Would he?…. it's a bit late for doubts now . It had just been him and me for years ever since mother died when I was four, surely all would be alright?
"It's Carlisle." I said finding my voice. "I am home, alive.." I added more quietly, after awhile but he just stood there and I could see with my newly improved eyes he was gapping. " say something" I encouraged him.
"No my son is dead! YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE YOU LIE!" he yelled. Neighbours popped there heads out of windows. Anything but this. How can I convince him. " Father it really is me" I said helplessly reaching out to touch his naked arm. He screamed and jumped back from me as if burned. "VAMPIRE! VAMPIRE BACK YOU DEMON!" he screamed causing the neighbours to advanced threateningly. He then held out a crucifix, screeching prayers all the while. Then I noticed the crowd of hostile humans was now growing and they were now armed. It saddened me immensely. I ran as fast I could through the streets, I could hear the crowd chasing after me. But I was too fast, when I reached the woods, I kept running still. If I still had tears, you would have seen it. I ran and ran, from my old life, from my family. That Carlisle was dead. I was reborn.
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