DISCLAIMER : crazy people who'd think i own twilight -- which i don't. i love alice cullen.. and edward of course. :} weee..

a/n: sorry for the irregular updates, but here's a short chapter for your enjoyment. :] PLEASE PLEASE R&R is the best thing you'll be able to give me (besides a real life edward, that is)

on to chapter 11!!!

BPOV

I looked at Edward, grinning at me with his crooked grin that I bet he didn't know was affecting me so much. I felt so torn. I wanted to go with him downstairs to take care of him the best way I could. But the people downstairs, even though they were family, were not people I wanted to see right now.

Esme managed to make the decision for me when she came up the stairs, a bit surprised to find us all standing in the hallway.

"You coming down for breakfast?" she asked.

I hesitated as me and my sisters looked at each other.

"Where's Aro?" Alice asked.

Understanding filled Esme's eyes as she realized the hesitation and our impromptu meeting outside Edward's room.

"They went ahead to the hospital to prepare everything for Edward." She smiled softly at him. "He'll call if everything's ready. Meanwhile, you all should really eat. It's almost lunch."

"Is she…?" I started to say.

Esme had already turned to go downstairs but she stopped and smiled. "They all went, Bella."

I nodded and sighed. I took Edward's hand in one of mine and Renesmee on the other. Then we all followed Esme downstairs.

After breakfast, Carlisle called and that they would be read for us anytime. Rose and Alice told me they'd take care of Nessie so Edward and I went up to our room to prepare.

"We're going to the hospital." He said, it wasn't a question.

I nodded as I closed the door behind me. "Yeah, we'll just shower and we'll go."

Edward nodded, walked to the middle of the room and then stopped and turned me. He looked so lost and my heart fell.

I closed the distance between us and I mustered the best smile I could manage. I took his hand and led him to the bathroom. A wave of nostalgia washed over me as I opened the bathroom door, its scents mixed with Edward's next to me transported me to those days when we showered together. I sighed and led him in.

He waited by the door as I went to the linen closet and got him a towel. I hung it on the towel rack just by the shower door as he took of his shirt. The whiff of his aroma sent a shiver down my spine and I closed my eyes. He smiled at me sheepishly.

"I'll wait outside." I mumbled, blushing, not sure of what to do.

He raised his hand to my cheek and brushed it lightly. "Okay." He said.

"The shampoo and everything are right there." I pointed to him.

He nodded and smiled my favorite crooked grin. I smiled back as I walked out the door. "I'll be right here. Call me if you need anything." I was worried that he'd need my help but I could see he wasn't that helpless at all.

"I will." He said in his velvety voice and closed the door.

My hand was on the doorknob when the door clicked and I stood with my back on the door, facing the whole room. I inhaled deeply as another wave of nostalgia washed over me. It was so overwhelming that I didn't know what to make of it. I tried to hold my breath, trying to process all the memories that washed over me at that instant.

It was like listening to a song after years of not hearing it, and remembering all the memories – the smell, the feel – of the things going on at that time. I was so caught up in them that I didn't even realize that I'd slipped to the floor, holding myself for a few minutes as I stopped myself from crying again.

A tear managed to escape and I wiped it away as I heard a muffled crash from inside the bathroom and Edward's voice.

EPOV

I wanted to pull Bella to me. Her blush was so alluring but I could only get myself to touch her face. She said she'd wait for me outside and pointed where everything was, after handing me a towel.

I just smiled at her. I knew she was worried when she said, "I'll be right here. Call me if you need anything."

"I will." I said. I knew I was already a burden, the fact that they have to be careful around me. I wanted to know everything, I wanted to know what happened, who I was, how I became the person that I was but they couldn't – not yet. Not until after the tests were done. And until then, as much as it hurt to be so overpowered by that void, I wanted to make things easier for Bella. When all I wanted to do was break down, the though of Bella made me feel safe.

I had already stripped down, completely naked, as I stepped in to the shower. I took a quick glance at the door, knowing Bella would be right on the other side. It was Bella's face that I saw in my mind as I turned the shower on, warm needles of water hitting all exposed parts of my body. It was Bella's blush, just before she stepped out. I saw flashes of Bella's face, my family's face from the moment I woke up. I reveled in these memories that I could recall, even though they were just two days. A void still existed.

But then the clear memories of that morning and the day before were slowly starting to disappear. I gasped as my mind came up with a blank. I opened my eyes, my heart racing, the water now beating on my back.

What I saw – and didn't see -- surprised me but I wanted to see more so I closed my eyes again and just let my new memories come back but they didn't. Instead, different flashes of memory came to my mind. It was in the shower, I was holding Bella close to me, her hair was damp and her eyes were closed. I saw Bella and I leaning into the tub where Nessie was having her bath. I saw Bella, not quite wet in the shower, her hand in my hair. Sensations washed over me as I realized these weren't wishes – they were actual memories. As I realized what was happening, I doubled over to the floor, sobbing. "Bella," I whimpered.

I didn't hear the door open, I was starting to take huge gulps of air. "Oh my god, Edward." I heard the pain in Bella's voice and I looked up to see her grabbing the towel, putting it over me and leaning in to turn the shower off.

I was still gasping as she kneeled near my face. I tried to stand up as she said, "What happened? Edward, what's wrong?" She pulled me out of the shower and wrapped the towel around my waist.

"Bella," I said in an almost pleading tone. I lifted my hand up to her face, I touched her hair then all the memories I had seen a few second earlier came back and the next thing I knew I was crashing my lips into hers. Her lips were so soft and tasted so sweet that I could only moan.

"I remember." I gasped as we pulled apart, her hands around my neck, mine on her chin and around her waist.

She was as surprised as I was as her face lit up. "What? You—"

"I saw you! In the shower. I saw us in the shower together, and I saw Nessie, she was younger – in the tub." I said quickly.

Bella's hands flew to my face as her eyes searched mine. "Everything? Do you remember everything?"

My heart was still racing so quickly that I was panting as I said, "No, not everything.. just that.. but I remembered. Bella," I said urgently. "I remember you!" I leaned my forehead into hers, holding her as close to me as I could as droplets of water from my hair fell between us, just as my tears fell.

a/n: oopsie. it's a cliffie. XD sorry about that.. but i am sooooo not going to post the next chapter if you guys don't review! i want one review from every single person who reads this chapter even if you just say, "cool." because nothing beats reviews when you're writing fan fic.. so please please pelase review guys! :]

if my inbox gets a handful of review alerts i PROMISE to post chapter 12 tonight. :] PROMISE! so go! clikeee the button and review!!!

by the way, i'm also writing another fan fic. it's called ONE HECK OF A HOLIDAY. :) everyone is on there except Jacob who may be a bit OOC.. it's about the friends going on a holiday just before college and they meet some of bella's ancestors from years ago. :] it's all human but you get to meet ghosties. please check it out and review. :] thaaaanks!

xx, Zia