Kamisama, it's been a while. Sorry about that. My beloved pet mouse died, which was a blow enough to me, but then I got incredibly sick. I'm still sick, just less so. So I'm sorry, but at the same time, I'm not because I can't help it.
Ritsu spent the rest of the day in a trance. He hardly heard the people around him, and he stared off into space as though to find the answers to his questions written in the air.
Yuki also seemed rather quiet, although occasionally he'd look like he was about to say something.
By the time everyone left, they were thouroughly confused.
"What happend to Ritsu when you were in the kitchen with him, Yuki-kun?" asked Shigure as they headed home.
"Hmm?" asked Yuki. "Oh. Nothing much. We just made some small talk."
"Are you sure?" asked Hatori. "I hope you didn't upset him. Ritsu is fragile. He can't take negative words as well as others."
"No, that's not it," said Yuki, almost to himself. "He's facing a difficult decision, one that he can't count on himself to make. Of course he's a little distant; the problems and triumphs of others can't reach him where he is in his own mind. He has such a big important decision, and whatever he chooses will change his view of everything. Ritsu's just not with us, not right now."
"What big decision is Ritsu-san facing?" asked Tohru, ceasing to walk. She looked a Yuki, brow furrowed in confusion.
"That doesn't matter," said Yuki. "It has nothing to do with us."
"But if Ritsu-san is in some sort of trouble, we should help him!" said Tohru.
"It's not something that we can help him with," said Yuki. "It's a conclusion he has to reach for himself, without our interference."
"I don't think Ritsu should be left alone with a big decision," said Kyo. "He'll just freak out and have one of his meltdowns."
"He's got more strength than you think," said Hatori. "Ritsu has changed. He's clearly different now. He was calmer, more collected. I think working for Ayame has done him good."
"Either that, or it's driven him even crazier," snorted Kyo.
"He's not crazy," said Yuki. "He's just lost and scared. He always feels the need to apologize because of that. Nobody was ever able to love or care for him unconditionally, so he feels like the problem lies with him. Nobody has ever bothered to tell him that the problem lies with the people who can't love him. They have their reasons, and it's more selfish than anything else. Poor Ritsu, a person who cares for everyone without prejustice, can't understand this."
"Ritsu-san's going to be okay," said Tohru. She smiled peacefully at everyone.
"What makes you say that?" asked Shigure. "Ritsu's no good at making decisions. He'll probably hurt himself trying."
"I know because Ritsu-san has Ayame-san!" said Tohru, surprising Yuki with her perceptiveness.
"That's more of a hindrance than a help," muttered Kyo.
"You shouldn't say that," said Yuki. Everyone stared at him in shock. Did he just defend his brother? "Ayame-kun may be a loud flambouyant pervert, but he means well when it comes to Ritsu."
"You're an expert all of a sudden," said Kyo.
"No," said Yuki. "You can just tell all that from watching."
"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" asked Ayame, clasping his hands in front of him. Ritsu didn't answer. He simply continued to gather cups.
"Ritsu?" asked Ayame, tilting his head to one side. Ritsu wasn't himself at all. "Ritsu?"
"Hmm?" asked Ritsu, finally seeming to hear Ayame. He turned to face his employer, a troubled look on his face.
"Ritsu, what's wrong?" asked Ayame. "You aren't acting like yourself. Did something happen in the kitchen with Yuki?"
"I'm fine," said Ritsu quietly, managing a weak smile. "Gomenasi. I'm not much fun to be around right now, am I?"
"Are you sure you're alright, Ritsu?" asked Ayame, looking even more concerned. "When you served us lunch, you seemed as though something was wrong. Are you getting sick, do you think?"
"Oh no," said Ritsu, this time with a bit more life. "I'm fine, really."
Ayame sighed. He didn't understand why Ritsu wouldn't just tell him what was wrong. Why didn't he know by know that Ayame would help him out if he was in some kind of trouble?
Walking over, Ayame gently grasped the tray and pulled it from Ritsu's hands.
"Ritsu," he said gently. "Why don't you go home now?" Seeing that Ritsu was about to protest, he smiled reassuringly. "It's fine, Ritsu. I'll clean up here. You go home and go to bed. Come back when you're feeling better, alright?"
Ritsu opened his mouth to say he would stay, but then he simply closed his mouth and relaxed himself. He could tell Ayame was determined that he should get some rest, and to be honest, Ritsu WAS feeling pretty tired. Contemplating his relationship with Ayame seemed to have drained him of all of his energy. Weakly, he nodded.
"A-arigatou, Ayame-san," he whispered. He turned to leave, but then stopped halfway across the sitting room. Ayame waited patiently for Ritsu to speak up.
"Good-night, Ayame-san," said Ritsu, with a little more energy than he'd seemed to have.
"Good-night, Ritchan," said Ayame smiling with relief. Ritsu-san seemed to be fine after all. Still, he couldn't help but wonder what had put such a sad and contemplating look on the poor monkey's face. What could Yuki have possibly said that had that much of an effect on the fellow Sohma? For a second, Ayame wanted to ask, but resigned himself to the fact that Ritsu didn't want to talk about it.
'He'll probably be fine by tomorrow,' The snake told himself.
Ritsu could hardly undress that night. To his surprise, he discovered that his hands were shaking badly.
'Why am I reacting like this?' Ritsu wondered. 'What Yuki said isn't such a big deal. I'm sure everything will work out in the end. If I told Ayame how I felt, he might reject me. It's definitely for the best that I don't say anything.'
However, Ritsu seemed to be having trouble convincing himself of this. He was beginning to get frustrated. Why was he so intent on bothering Ayame-san with his petty thoughts and feelings? Ayame-san had so many other things to think about. The last thing he needed was for Ritsu to confess his love.
'I can live like this,' He thought to himself with determination. 'Besides, it's not about me. It's about Ayame.'
Numbly, Ritsu walked over to his matress on the floor. unable to keep himself upright anymore, he fell onto his matress and was asleep in a matter of seconds.
Meanwhile, Ayame was still awake at his shop. He sat on the edge of his bed, running a brush through his soft silver hair.
'I wish Ritsu were still here,' thought Ayame. 'I'd love to help him with his hair. It looks so soft! I wish I could reach out and stroke it, but that would startle poor Ritsu. Speaking of him, I hope he's feeling better. He just wasn't at all like himself today! Perhaps he's caught that nasty flu that's been going around? I hope not. I sincerely doubt that Ritsu has health insurance to pay to see a Doctor.' The brush stopped moving as Ayame fell deeper into his thoughts. 'We'll, I suppose I could give him a loan. Ritsu is very honest, and I know he'd pay me back. The only problem would be getting him to accept it. Maybe I should go to his apartment to see him tomorrow and talk about him getting insurance. I hope I still remember the way. Well, if Ritsu comes to work tomorrow, I can just go home with him.'
Suddenly Ayame realized that he was no longer brushing his hair. Chuckling ironically to himself, he began to move his arm again.
'Seems I've always got Ritsu on my mind these days,' He thought to himself. 'Hiring him seems to have been a good move on my part. He's a good worker and always makes for such pleasant company. Really, it's too bad he's been through so much hardship. He's the last person on Earth to deserve it. But bad things really do happen to good people. Like poor Tohru loosing her Mother, or Kisa-chan being socially shunned. Or all the members of the zodiac, who bear the curse of turning into an animal when hugged by a person of the opposite gender. I'm surprised all my fellow zodiac members don't crave affection so badly that they've become homosexuals! Ritsu... I wonder if he craves affection. I want to hug him, but I'm afraid of his reaction. I don't want him to shove me away. I just want to be able to be close to Ritsu. Is that so much to ask? Just me and him, being near each other. Work doesn't count, since we're both so focused on our tasks we hardly notice Each other. I'd just like it if Ritsu would stay later and maybe eat dinner with me. Hmm... Maybe I should invite him to do so! Heavens only knows what he's eating in that hellish apartment of his! Yes, I think I'll ask him to stay with me tomorrow. IF he comes to work tomorrow, that is.'
Lying back on his matress, Ayame allowed himself to daydream about spending a lovely meal with his favorite relative Ritsu.
The first thing Ritsu thought when he woke up was, 'How did I get here?'
He couldn't remember falling into bed the previous night, nor could he remember changing into his pajamas. He could barely even remember how he got home from work the previous night!
'I must have been more exhausted then I thought,' Ritsu told himself as he sat up and reached for his hairbrush. As he went through his morning routine, he couldn't help but remember how he'd spent the other day. When he remembered his conversation with the Rat of the zodiac, he turned bright red and gripped the brush tighter.
When he was finally ready for work, Ritsu turned to check the clock.
"T-ten thirty?!" shouted Ritsu. "I-I'm late!"
Anybody walking by that apartment at that particular time would have seen the front door open, and a indistinguished blur coming running outside, hop on a rusty bike, and take off.
And they probably would have seen said blur crash into the unopened gate.
"Why do I have to forget everything...?" Ritsu muttered to himself, where he lay with his back on the packed dirt and the circulation in his legs being cut off by the bike.
Ayame set everything up and prepared to work alone. He'd done it before, when Miine-chan hadn't been well. But he'd been so anticipating seeing Ritsu so that he could ask him to stay that Ayame found himself merely sitting on his workstool, waiting.
"Well, it doesn't look like he's coming," Ayame said aloud, leaning forwards. He examined the fabrics he'd laid out so carefully, trying not to let himself be too disappointed.
Suddenly, the sound of a door flying open and hitting the wall rang out through the entire shop. Startled, Ayame pricked himself with his sewing needle. Wincing, he stood up and headed for the workroom door. Before he could reach it, however, it too burst open, revealing a frantic Ritsu, covered in dirt and with oil stains all over his pants. (His rather feminine looking pants, by the way.)
"GomenasiIknowI'mlateIdidn'tchecktheclockandImusthaveoversleptandI'msosorryitwon'thappenagainIswear!" cried Ritsu, all in one breath.
Ayame smiled brightly and walked over to his cousin. Reaching out, he pulled Ritsu into a warm embrace.
"It's alright, Ritchan," he said. "I had a feeling you'd be coming today."
Ritsu calmed down the moment he felt Ayame's arms wrap around him. He didn't dare allow himself to continue flailing about for fear that he'd injure Ayame.
Ayame was... soft. He had a mild scent of incense about him. Ritsu inhaled, trying to take it to memory.
Ritsu was... soft. His hair especially. Ayame couldn't help but absently brush a strand of it. Ritsu smelled nice, like blooming lilies and something else vaguely sweet. Ayame felt his heart swell as he stood there and held his cousin to him for just another moment.
Ayame let go momentarily and smiled kindly down at Ritsu.
"Now, Rii-kun," he said. "Let's get to work, shall we?"
Ritsu couldn't have spoken if he'd tried, so he just nodded. Still, as he headed towards the worktable, he couldn't help but ponder that sweet scent hanging around Ayame.
Dinner invitation comes next chapter. Right now, I'm being used as a wrestling ring by my sisters, so if those last couple of paragraphs have any errors, that might be why.
By the way, I spent this entire chapter listening to 'Paper Mache' this awesome band I just discovered that I adore!