Hullo! It's me again!
I know it's been a while, but I've been very sick. I had to have blood drawn today which will hopefully help the Doctors find out what's wrong with me. When I get the results back I might be sick still because I have to start new medicine. Right now they say it's either anemia or thyroid issues. Good news is both are easy fixes.
So here is your update, which I know you were all hoping to see!
I'm actually dedicating this to my fans, which I have! I find that surprising but I'm very happy to find that this is the case. I have two current large slash projects I'm working on and I've received such an overwhelming amount of support that I could just cry (happily) when I think about it. Every review brightens my dull days and reminds me of how much I love what I do and that I wouldn't trade my creativity for the world! Thank you all so much for making it easier for me to remember why I have chosen to be a writer.
--
Lunch break passed as usual, with Ayame and Ritsu sitting at the small table Ayame had bought for his employees.
"Rii-kun," said Ayame. "Do you have anywhere to be tonight?"
Ritsu looked up in surprise.
"I-iie," he said. "Should I?"
"Well," Said Ayame. "I was thinking last night, I've never had you over for dinner before. So I thought I should ask you if you'd like to stay with me. I have some fried chicken. It's a kind of American food. There's no way I'll be able to eat it all myself, and I definitely don't want it going to waste when I could share it with you." Ayame beamed radiantly across the table.
Ritsu didn't know what to say. His heart had skipped a beat. He was being allowed to eat with Ayame? It was... Well, almost like a date! No, no, he couldn't start thinking like that! After all, it was just some American food at Ayame's apartment.
So why wouldn't his heart slow down?
"S-sure," said Ritsu. "I'd - I'd like that, Ayame-san."
Ayame smiled brightly across the table, causing poor Ritsu's heart to speed up even more. He could feel his face turning dangerously red and hoped his boss wouldn't notice.
"I'm glad, then!" said Ayame sincerely. "I hate to eat alone, you know. And I can't think of someone I'd rather share my evening with than you."
Once again Ritsu's face heated up. He stared down at the tabletop in embarassment.
"Oh," he muttered. "I'm sure you have some better company than I am. I'm just too easily frightened and dull. I don't think anyone has ever wanted to share a meal with me."
Ayame's heart constricted. He reached out across the table and affectionately cupped Ritsu's chin. The monkey blushed, but allowed his face to be lifted up so that he could see Ayame clearly. The snake of the zodiac had such a pure and kind look on his face, Ritsu's eyes began to fill with tears, much to his chagrin. He lifted one long sleeve to his face, but before he could hide himself away, he was pulled gently forwards.
Ritsu felt the soft fabric of Ayame's kimono against his face. His eyes widened into the older man's shoulder. Ayame was holding him!? Why? He'd caused a scene and made a fool of himself again. That was nothing that deserved reward!
"Shh, Ritsu," said Ayame softly into the monkey's hair. He rested his cheek against Ritsu's head and let out a soft sigh of contentment. "It's alright. I'd share my dinner with you any day."
Ritsu couldn't help it; he began to sob. All of his sadnesses seemed to be pouring out of him and onto Ayame. All the times his parents had apologized for him, all the times he'd been fired, all the people who had hurt him, and most importantly, his unrequited love were leaving him slowly. He clung to Ayame as though he were a life raft as for the first time in his life he allowed himself to really, really cry.
Ayame smiled sadly into Ritsu's hair. He knew that his poor relative had been through hell. It was natural for him to cry. What Ayame didn't understand was why Ritsu had never tried to request help from anyone.
Then it hit him.
'He's afaid,' Ayame realized. 'He doesn't want to be seen as a burden. He can't bear others resentments; he can hardly bear his own sufferings anymore! All my life, I've never had those reservations. I've never worried like Ritsu. Compared to him, I'm quite spoiled!'
Gradually, Ritsu's tears dried. A wave of exhaustion crashed over him, and for once he allowed himself to indulge by rubbing his cheek against Ayame's shoulder so that he could rest comfortably. Ayame smiled down at his little relative and tightened his grip slightly. Ritsu was so soft and warm and sweet smelling, it just made Ayame want to pull their faces together and kiss him. But he didn't want to frighten Ritsu, so he merely remained as he was.
--
When Ritsu woke up, he was resting against Ayame's side. Ayame, in turn, was hemming a dress and unaware of Ritsu's return to conciousness. He hummed under his breath a beautiful tune Ritsu had never heard before. His hands moved quickly and gracefully, and he never once missed a stitch.
Ritsu could have sat and watched Ayame forever. The snake was so graceful and beautiful it was almost painful to watch. He let out a sigh of contentment, momentarily forgetting that Ayame could hear him.
"Ritsu?" asked Ayame, turning around. "Are you alright? You've slept for a good while now!"
"O-o-oh," said Ritsu. He turned bright red and looked away from Ayame's concerned glance. "Gomenasi for inconveniencing you like this. It must have been bothersome to have to put up with me here! Please forgive me; I don't mean to cause trouble."
A warm, strong arm wrapped itself around Ritsu's shoulder's.
"It's fine," said Ayame. For a second he allowed his arm to hold Ritsu to his side, savoring the feeling of the monkey's weight against him, before he let go and allowed Ritsu to sit up. "You were very tired."
Ritsu nodded and fidgeted with his sleeve for a moment before he turned to Ayame, his face the perfect picture of innocence.
"Gomenasi," he said. "Gomenasi. I didn't mean to burden you so greatly. I try not to let my petty troubles get in the way of others, but sometimes I just can't help it! Oh... I'm no good! I wish I could be a better person. Then my Parents would love me and I wouldn't bother kind people like you, Ayame, with my stupid ranting!"
"Stop it!" cried Ayame, his face knitting into an expression of frustration. "Don't apologize for something like that, Ritsu! Everyone needs someone to talk to. You don't have to apologize for being human and you certainly shouldn't apologize for being who you are. Don't ever let that get in the way of anything you do! Ritsu, you're smart and funny and talented and if others don't see that then it's their loss. Don't think that the problem lies inside of yourself, of all people!"
"A-Ayame-san," Ritsu breathed. If he hadn't just cried himself out, he knew he'd have started weeping at that moment. Ayame-sama thought that he was worth it? "Arigatou."
"Of course, Ritsu," said Ayame gently. "Any time you need to talk, you can speak with me. Okay?"
Ritsu nodded weakly and sat himself up fully.
"Well," he said. "I better get started on work. What needs done, Ayame-san?"
Ayame Just smiled and began to explain.
'Even so, I hope Ritsu will know that he can trust me enough to talk freely with me.
--
Authors Notes:
I hate myself for making this chapter so short, but I have to upload it before I leave on my trip because I'm getting sick now and once I get back I'll be dead on my feet. I hope you enjoy it anyways, and if you'd like to review an overly-emotional chapter of fluff, please make it my overly-emotional chapter of fluff.
Not that I deserve it or anything.
I hope you all realize that I almost cried writing this. I listened to 'Music Box' from the Silent Hill 2 OST most of the time, and 'I Am The Killer' by Thursday the rest of it. I danced between emotional and completely lucid, with tears in my eyes for reasons even I don't understand. Maybe I'm just over-emotional. (Yeah, Probably.)
Next chapter will be the actual dinner and all that maniacal fluff I seriously need to purge from my unholy mind. Stay tuned for more from your favorite apparently brain-dead Authoress, hear?