"I knew my days were numbered from the start," the Doctor sighed. The pair, Rose and him, had sat down on the sand right where Rose had found him, behind the toilets. Neither of them actually noticed the reeking stench, however. They were both too engrossed in the story, the Doctor in telling and Rose in listening, to really notice. It was probably a good thing. "I really didn't want to take anyone on as my…companion. I knew I wasn't long for the world, and I didn't want to endanger anyone."

"But shouldn't someone have noticed? I mean, it's not like you've been able to keep your shirt on forever. I know others have seen you since then. What about Van Statten? Or Mickey?"

"Van Statten…by that point, it hadn't crept onto my front side. See, it starts on the back by the waist, eases around front to the belly area, and then upwards," he used his hands to illustrate to Rose exactly what he meant. "He didn't really walk behind me; he stayed in front mostly. I doubt he even saw. And besides, that man was a moron. He thought he knew so much, but he didn't really. Even if he had seen it, he wouldn't have understood what it meant. As for Mickey, yeah, by that time, I had a significant rash. I know he saw it. There's no way he could've missed it. However, remember, this is Mickey we're talking about. He knows I look human, and he knows I'm an alien, but he doesn't know just how human I really look. He probably thought that rash was just part of what I was and thought nothing of it. Thank goodness it was a male idiot who changed me into my jim-jams that Christmas I spent unconscious."

Rose's eyes passed up and down the length of the rash again. "It looks painful."

"Some of it is; that's one reason I didn't want to swim, the other reason was so you wouldn't find out. The black flesh is stiff, hard. It has no feeling to it anymore. It's very old stuff. The redder it is, the tenderer, and the lighter red it is, the fresher it is."

"The black flesh isn't-"

"Dead? No. Still very much alive. Just…unresponsive. The outer edges of the cells have hardened, thus deadening the nerves a little. It's not that the nerves have died, but the area around them have been solidified, so the signal of…well, anything, can't reach them. So, it keeps them from responding to anything. Lucky for me though. Otherwise, my whole body would ache constantly."

"So, I want to go over this again. What's it do?"

"The disease? Kill me."

"I got that, thanks. I mean, specifically? Symptoms or whatnot like that."

"Drains me of my energy. Slowly. Just saps it all away. That's why I've been sleeping a lot more as of late. It won't be long before I'll be too weak to travel in the TARDIS. That's what happened to a lot of Time Lords, they caught this and were trapped somewhere because they couldn't travel. But that fact is part of the reason I didn't want to come here just yet. I was thinking that, after we visited one last place, we could come here. To stay here."

"Why? You hate this place. I know you. You'd rather be out there, doing who knows what on some star."
His brown eyes met hers and he tried to smile, though it was a little sheepishly. "You're right. You're absolutely right, but you see…I don't want to die alone."

"Won't you just regenerate?"

"No, sadly," he sighed. "Once the disease gets to a certain stage, to a specific intensity, it stops the power to regenerate."

"How?"

"It stops the power flow. No power, no energy, no regeneration. Simple as that. I was very lucky to regenerate to this form when I did. Just a little later and I would've been unable to do so. I lost the ability soon after my regeneration. But, even if I could regenerate, it wouldn't help kick the disease; it stays in the body. It sticks around like that annoying little, pathetic creature that keeps following you around because you were nice to it once, but then it didn't take the hint and so thought you would give it more food, or even a home."

"That's awful!"

"What? It was a joke! And I wasn't talking about Mickey, honest."

"No, not that. I was saying the disease was awful."

"Oh, that. Right."

"And this was common? On your home planet? You saw it a lot, yeah?"

The Doctor breathed in a little, glancing up at the sky. "Yeah, it was. But it was also easily curable. It's kind of like," his fingers drummed on his chin, "pneumonia for you humans. It was fairly common, and deadly, obviously, if not treated, but with prompt attention, the outlook was excellent. Even though it was common, it wasn't a plague or anything. All of us knew of at least one person that had gotten it, and most had actually personally gotten it. But me, I was a lucky one. Nine hundred years. Well, strictly speaking, over nine hundred years. I went all that time without catching it. I thought I was safe." He closed his eyes and massaged his forehead lightly. "My, what a mess."

"So, when are you…?"

"I dunno. It's different for most everyone, just as pneumonia is. There's so many different factors that goes into calculations of survival expectancy that it's hard to tell for sure. However, I guesstimate that I have only one more trip in the TARDIS, as I said, though I don't know if I'll be able to take it. I don't want to jeopardize you. That would be horrible."

"You've been traveling all this time in the TARDIS. What does this disease really change? Can't be as bad as all that, yeah?"

"Rose, time travel, space travel, it's hard on a living being's body. That's a fact of nature. Most aren't made to do that. But even though it puts strain on it, it usually isn't all that harmful. A healthy person can withstand the stress easy. Sure, you will sleep harder when you finally do sleep than you would if you just stayed at home and never went TARDIS traveling. Nevertheless, it's not detrimental. It won't kill you and it won't significantly shorten the life span of anything. However, since I'm ill, it's a lot harder for me, on me. It's harder on me. I am weak and tired anyway, and time travel only makes me more so. The more I travel, the bigger opening I give the disease, and the disease gets more aggressive and progresses further, making me sick, weaker, sleepier, which gives the disease more strength which…see where this is going?"

"So, you're going to die?"

"Yeah."

"Soon?"

"Kind of."

"And there's nothing anyone can do?"

"Pretty much."

Rose looked at him in disbelief and silence for a moment before continuing. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you let me know earlier?!"

The Doctor sighed. "When I first met you, I was actually still in denial that I was even sick, despite having the beginning of a rash appear soon after. And after I regenerated and still felt sick, that's when I accepted that I really was. But if I had told you, what good would it really have done? There's nothing you or I can do. My home planet is gone, and the recipe for the cure along with it. Had I told you, you would've just worried and fretted, making me take it easy, holding me back. You would've become fearful that every move I make might be my last, and what good would that be? I've lived long enough. If this is the end, then I'm fine with that. It's probably time anyway."

"Doctor…" she breathed, but was at a loss for words. Even though it was him who was dying, to Rose, it felt like a doctor was telling her she had cancer and was going to die.

"Rose," he started after a short silence, shrugged his shirt back on cautiously, "don't tell your mother about this. This is her holiday, her break. Don't burden her with this now. In fact, don't mention it to her at all. I mean, if you really have to tell her, tell her later. Much later, when we're back at your flat and I can barely move because I'm so exhausted. You can tell her then that I'm dying, but not now." He stood, brushing the sand off his pants as best he could. "Let's just forget about this for today. Let's make the most of the beach while we're here, hm? Let's enjoy today, and tomorrow, while your mum is away, then we'll discuss this more if you like, okay?"

Rose looked up at him and nodded a little. "Okay."

He grinned and held out his hand to her. "We should return to Jackie. Let's get back to the ocean, shall we?"

Rose smiled ever so slightly. His own grin had a way of doing that, breaking through the darkness and making her smile no matter how horrible the situation. She reached up and took the offered hand. "As long as we do discuss this."

"Not tonight."

"Tomorrow afternoon for sure. Mum'll be going to the laundry mat then. She always does."

"Tomorrow sounds good."

"Just be sure you keep that agreement. I want to discuss this further. I'm still not satisfied."

The Doctor's grin widened. "That's what I love about you, Rose Tyler." He pulled her gracefully to her feet. "Always wanting to know more."