Disclaimer: I own nothing
iFight
Day 5
I shut the door to my 'home' and slowly walk into my room, standing in front of the mirror and sighing. There are streaks of mascara running down my face. Waterproof my butt.
I go into my moms bathroom and get her bottle of eye-makeup remover, since I don't have my own. I don't wear enough eye makeup to worry about it. I splash some of the cleanser onto a cotton ball and rub away the mascara streaks and the rest of the make-up on my eyes. Once I'm done, I look myself over. If not for the sad look in my eye, I'd say that I almost look pretty. Almost.
Next I take off the jewelry I borrowed from Carly, earrings first. There is a reason that I don's own many pairs of earrings. Those things hurt! It's a wonder I got my ears pierced in the first place.
The cat walks into the room and mews at me happily. I smile at her as she rubs up against my leg. Not caring about getting cat hair on my fancy new dress, I pick her up and cradle her in my arms, sitting on my bed.
"You love me, don's ya, baby?" I ask my cat. She purrs in response and licks my hand. "Thanks."
The cat, Mimi, is very much my cat. I've had for as long as I can remember, and I'm the only one who really takes care of her. I give her attention, food, clean her litter box. Plus, my mom hates her, and cat's can tell.
Mimi's been with me through everything. I tell her everything. She was the first person I told when I discovered that I was in love with Freddie. Not Carly, no. I told Mimi. Because I knew she would listen, and not judge me. And she wouldn't tell anyone. Mimi is the only person who I really trust whole-heartedly. Yeah, I trust Carly, but she kinda blew it a bit.
And now all of you people reading this must think I'm crazy, talking to a cat. I know, but it really helps to tell someone. It really does.
Anyway, after the epic punch, Carly yelled at Freddie, saying things like 'Oh, my God!', 'What were you thinking?' and 'What the hell, Freddie?'. Freddie didn't say anything back, just kept his jaw clenched and eyes burning with anger and betrayal. He finally turned to me, and the look in his eyes broke my heart even further, if that's at all possible. The look said so many things at once, that I couldn't decipher any of it. All I know is that I felt tears start to build in my eyes again, so I turned around and hightailed it out of that school. No way was I going to let anyone else see me cry.
I put Mimi down and slip out of my dress. I throw it over the chair stationed at my unused desk and slip on some PJ's. I quickly wash my face and return to my bed where Mimi is waiting. She meows a greeting.
"I know, Meems. I'm tired too," I say, pulling back the covers to my bed and climbing under. Mimi comes and lays in the nook formed by my side and my arm. I yawn and adjust into a more comfortable position, then quietly drift off to sleep.
I'm usually a very heavy sleeper, but I guess my mental state or some unseen force made me hear that obnoxious clanking against my window, causing me to wake up.
Determined to find the source of the noise that woke me up from my pleasant slumber, I walk over to the window and draw back the shades, looking down.
And there he is, ready to launch another pebble up to my window when he sees my face and smiles.
He's here, in the small ally between my building and the next, still wearing his nice suit. Freddie.
I put a mean look on my face and spat at him, "What do you want?" His smile falls and he lowers him arm.
"I need to talk to you. Can I come up?"
"Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend?" I say, sneering the last part. The way I feel about Freddie has a large quantity of switching from love to hate, leaving me either fuming or confused. Right now, I was fuming. Probably because of the past week, or maybe for being woken up at one in the morning. Either way, I was mad.
"I broke up with Carly," He calls up to me. I can feel my face soften, which makes me angry. I'm not supposed to have a soft spot. I'm Sam! But I guess it's too late for that after last night.
"I guess she saw the wrong light, huh?"
"Yeah," Freddie says, looking down at his feet and kicking a pebble. "She apologized and tried to tell me what happened, but I don't know. I don't really care."
There was a moment of silence, where I didn't really know what to say, and I guess neither did Freddie.
"Did you get in trouble for punching the nub?" I finally ask. Freddie laughed.
"Nah, I left before a teacher could notice."
"Man Freddie, you're bad!" I say with a smile. Freddie smirked.
"So can I come up?" He asks.
My first instinct was to reject him immediately and close the window, but this was a night of going against my instincts. "Yeah. Meet you by the door."
I close the window and we stare at each other through the glass before we actually start to walk to the front door. I think we were both wondering what was going to happen next. I was trying to figure out what Freddie was going to say to me. I had narrowed it down to either telling me that he liked me back, or harsh rejection. I silently prayed for the first one. But I had no way of knowing for sure. Ever since I realized my feelings for Freddie, reading his emotions got much more difficult. For all I know, this whole needing to talk to me thing could be about iCarly. Or maybe his new crush that isn't me? Dozens of wild, random, and highly unlikely possibilities flew through my mind.
Finally, after what seemed like ten minutes when it usually takes two seconds, I reach the front door and open it. I see Freddie standing there waiting, and I panic for a minute that I really did take ten minutes to get to the front door, and he's been standing here for ever wondering when I'd open the door.
Freddie just smiled and walked in. I guess even if I had taken ten minutes, he didn't care. We stand in the entry way for a second. He's waiting for me to invite him into the living room, or somewhere to sit. I'm waiting for him to start spewing whatever information he had to share with me at one in the morning.
"Speak," I demand. He looks startled at my harshness. He swallows a lump in his throat.
"Um, you think we can go sit down or-"
"No," I cut him off. I really don't care that I'm having more mood swings than a pubescent teenager, because I was rudely awakened without the proper amount of sleep (which I think I've mentioned for the third time now, but it makes me angry to be woken up randomly in the night) and because I am a pubescent teenager.
"Uh- Oh. Um, okay," Freddie finally spits out. He's nervous. I don't need to be a psychologist to see that. "I just wanted to talk about what you said tonight… about, um, me dating, err, you?"
"What about it? You need another girl now that you're through with Carly? Want to ruin my life a little more?" I spat. No reason to deny it now. It's out there for everyone to see, or, hear.
"No! That's not it at all!" Freddie says quickly.
"Oh, so you wanted to tell me that you're not interested in girls my type. I get it." I feel disconnected from my body. I don't know why I'm being so mean. I think it's some kinda of mechanism that switches on and off whenever I become panicked in any way. I kind of hate it, because if not for that stupid switch inside of me, I think I could have saved some drama.
"No! Sam, if you would just listen for once!" He says, anger starting to weave through his voice.
"Well, I wouldn't interrupt if you would just spit it out!" I counter.
"What is wrong you? One minute you're sad, then you're angry, then you're jealous, then you're all 'Freddie, pick me!', and now you're all like this!" He practically shouts. I know he isn't thinking about waking up my mom. He knows that I'm alone. I'm always alone on Friday nights.
"You're one to talk! At least I didn't punch Jake Krandle in the face, when it probably wasn't even him that initiated the kiss!"
"You're supposed to be Carly's best friend!" Freddie spats at me. My face, tightened with anger, relaxes a little.
"I know," I say with sadness dripping off of every syllable, trying to cover it up with fake anger. Freddie's right. I think something is wrong with me. He's struck a cord that I didn't even know was there. I'm doubting me and Carly's friendship, all because of a stupid dork. We always swore a boy would never come between us. I thought our friendship would last through everything. When we said friends forever, I'd believed it. I'd meant it.
There is a pause where Freddie doesn't know what to say. I take the chance to get back to the reason he's here.
"So, just tell me whatever you had to tell me so you can leave," I say quietly, a harsh edge in my voice.
More silence.
"I think that maybe I should have gone out with you, too," He says quietly and quickly.
What? Does that mean he likes me? That boy has the weirdest way of wording things. I look up to ask him what he's talking about, but all I see is Freddie closing the door on his way out.
Crap. I think I just missed the part where I'm supposed to kiss him.
I wake up the next morning thinking that what happened last night was only a dream. But the ache in my heart tells me otherwise. I don't know why, or how, but I really think I just screwed my chances with Freddie. You don't just tell the person you hope to be with in the near future to leave with harsh undertones in your voice! Gah, I didn't think I even had the potential to be that stupid.
My cell phone rings, signaling a text message from Carly. It's a message saying to get over to her apartment as soon as possible, no doubt so she can dish to me what went down last night. I grudgingly get dressed and walk to Bushwell Plaza, half hoping for the chance to see Freddie, and half wishing for the chance not to see him.
I get up to Carly's door with no excitement. I knock on the door (I don't feel like picking it) and it's immediately opened. Carly grabs my arm and pulls me in. I let out a strange sound, that's a mix of a squeal, a scream, and a 'woah!'.
"I need to talk to you!" Carly tells me frantically. She's gripping my arm with intensity that she only gets when something is extremely wrong. Her hair is messily put back into a ponytail, meaning that she didn't take a shower. Oh crap; it's that bad.
You see, when Carly is really upset, she takes really long showers. When she's really, really upset, she wallows in her own filth. It's kinda depressing to watch, though I've only seen it once before. When her dad was put overseas for the first time.
"I'm all ears," I tell her, meaning every word. She pulls me over to the couch and begins to spill everything that happened.
Apparently after the dance war between Freddie and I, when I left and Freddie came after me, Jake approached Carly and started to talk to her. He didn't say anything about Freddie. A fast song started to play, and Jake asked Carly if she wanted to dance with him. She said yes. The exact words Carly used were, 'Things sorta heated up, and I have no clue who started it, but suddenly we were kissing! I wasn't thinking about anything except for how I liked the song and how it reminded me of hot wings, and then Freddie came up to us and it all just hit me!'
She told me the whole story in about three minutes, when on any other occasion it would have taken ten minutes to a half hour, depending on how excited she was about it and how much I cared about the details.
"What am I going to do about Freddie? I mean, we're obviously broken up, but I don't want to loose him as a friend, and what about iCarly!?" Carly says frantically, getting up from the couch and starting to pace. "What if I scared him for life?! You never know the effect you have on people."
"Have you tried to talk to him?" I ask her, no other questions or words of advice coming to mind.
"Yeah, I went over to his apartment, but Mrs. Benson said that Freddie wasn't home. What if I made him run away from home!" Carly panics. I roll my eyes. So, Freddie didn't go home? I have a good idea of where he might be.
You see, whenever Freddie is upset or needs a quiet place to think, he goes out to the fire escape. I found that out in my stalker phase of liking Freddie. Everyone goes through it, where the crusher tries to find out as much about their crush in as low-key of a manner as possible. Did you know that Freddie as a few moles on his back, that if connected form the Eiffel tower? Don't ask how I found that out.
"I think I know where he is," I confess.
"What?"
"Freddie came by my house last night… I think he told me that he likes me, maybe past-tense, and I told him to leave and so he did, and I think he was kinda upset," I say quietly and hesitantly. Carly's mouth forms a weird smile.
"I knew it," She says.
"What do you mean?" I ask, even though I know what she means.
"Go," She says simply. She comes back over to the couch and gives me a long hug, and I know that everything is okay. We are best friends. Forever. I smile back at her and get up off of the couch and leave the apartment.
I get to the fire escape and look into it through the window. I don't see him at first, so I open the window/doors and knock. No answer.
Oh, my God.
I race into the fire escape, looking around. He's not here. Possibilities flow through my head of where he might be. One that sticks out is that he couldn't take life anymore, and jumped over the railing. I run to the railing and look out over it.
"FREDDIE?!" I shout out, not expecting a reply. For a minute, the thought that he jump over and plummeted down to the cold concrete ground of the ally crossed my mind.
"What?" I hear coming from behind me, in his low voice.
Taken off guard, I ungracefully scramble to face him, and I find myself face to face with Freddie and a bowl of grapes.
"Holy crap, Freddie," I gasp out. He smirks and lifts up the bowl of grapes.
"I got hungry," He explains. I offer a half smile, and he gestures to the second chair sitting on the fire escape. I take it without hesitation.
We just sit for a minute, looking at each other and Freddie eating grape after grape. Strangely, though, it's not the least bit awkward. Although, I think it might be in a few seconds.
"Do you like me?" I finally ask, looking down at my hands. I hear Freddie choke a bit on the grape he just inserted into his mouth. He recovers and clears his throat a bit. I knew he was expecting me to ask this, just maybe not so abruptly. He shifts awkwardly before responding.
Told ya.
"Yeah," He answers. I smile a little bit and my heart does some sort of happy jig.
"What about Carly?" I ask quietly. "You loved her, right?"
"I thought I did. I asked her out, and when she said yes, I was really happy, but the actual going out was nothing like I thought it would be. She was kind of aggressive and demanding like I'd never seen her, and I just never got that feeling," He says, looking at me the whole time. "She couldn't live up to the high standard I'd made for her."
"Oh," Is all I manage to say. I look up at him. He give a light smile as he tears off another grape and throws it in my direction. I expertly catch it in my mouth.
"Do you hate me?" He asks me. I gulp down the grape and try to collect the right words in my head. Is there a better way to say, 'No, I don't hate you, but yeah, I kinda do?'
I can't think of anything else to say, so that's exactly what I say.
Freddie nods. "I get it,"
I nod along.
"How long did it go on?" He asks me a few minutes later. I look down at my hands.
"Maybe for a month or two after we started iCarly," I answer a bit hesitantly. I really hope that doesn't creep him out. I mean, it's been a year. I look up and I see Freddie smiling at me.
"So when we… you know... you liked me?"
I laugh, "Yeah."
We look at each other for a short moment before he leans in an kisses me.
And I hate to sound conceited and rude, or like it was a competition the entire time but…
I win.
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PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!! D: I never meant for it to take so long, and if I only get two reviews for this, I'll understand, because I'm truely horrible.
But, I am kind of excited to say THE END!!! because I'm really proud of the quality of this fic, and the length of the the chapters. I am not proud, however, of how long it took to finish the darned thing.
There won't be any more chapter things from me until I'm not so busy. Which will probably be in the summer. :) I'll still write drabbles, though.
If you do review, I'll kiss the very ground you walk on. :D I love my readers!!!!!
Special dedication to doggodess04, who arguably could be a tad more into this story than I am. xD I hope this makes you happy!
See you all soon! Perphaps on the seddie fan forums? (http:// . com / seddie /) Everyone there is amazing nice, and so super active (although i haven't been lately, ^^;)
-Freakers