Disclaimer contains spoilers; has been moved to end of chapter.
Sorry the update took so long! Review replies are at the end of the chapter.
--
Chapter 5
It was the night after the events of Chapter 4. Sylar couldn't sleep, so he was watching a movie. Suddenly, the pure genius of the film caused another brilliant idea to appear…
H H H H
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring
Bananaphone!
Peter, being half-asleep, hit the answer button without thinking. "Hello?"
"'Wake up, Franklin! You're going to New Brunswick!'"
"What?"
"I said, 'Wake up, Franklin! You're going to New Brunswick!'"
"Oh. Well, if that's all…" and Sylar promptly heard snores from Peter's end of the conversation.
"You know what?" he said, "I'm just going to try this prank again, when you're awake enough to appreciate it. Good night, Peter."
"'Night, Mr. Adams."
H H H H
6 a. m., next morning.
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring
Bananaphone!
Peter cautiously picked up the phone and answered it. "Hello?"
"'Wake up, Franklin! You're going to New Brunswick!'"
"Um…uh…what?"
"'Wake up, Franklin! You're going to New Brunswick!'"
"Oh. Let me guess: PHONE TAG! I'M IT!"
"Exactly. Goodbye, Super Emo."
"DON'T CALL ME EMO!!" YELLED PETER INTO THE PHONE. UGH! I HATE WHEN THE STUPID CAPS LOCK STICKS.
WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY.
Okay, we're back to normal. Sorry about that.
H H H H
Peter stepped outside, and was about to go report Sylar's latest phone tag to Bob (who had created another branch of the Company, and hired a dozen more people, specifically for that purpose (the man needs a life)), when he found himself surrounded by ninjas--
"Ninjas?"
Yes, ninjas.
"I don't see any ninjas." And the street was, in fact, devoid of ninjas.
What? Oh. Cue ninjas. …Cue ninjas. …Cue the stupid ninjas already! … Thank you!
"Oh, you mean those ninjas…"
Yes, those ninjas.
--and they promptly attempted to tackle him.
"Uh-oh."
He managed to use telekinesis to keep them at bay long enough for him to fly away. As he flew, he wondered, "What are ninjas doing in New York City, in the 21st century?"
You'll see.
"Oh. Okay."
He's so trusting of the voices that type in bold print, isn't he? He will come to regret that.
H H H H
Sylar was playing "anti-Scrabble" against himself, when he remembered that there was another person with grievances against him that he hadn't phone tagged yet. The sound of a thousand clocks ticking could be heard as that all-too-familiar psychotic smirk spread across the psychopath's face…
"What is that mysterious ticking noise?"
You've never noticed that before?
"No, I have not."
Well, it's been there since...the beginning of the show! You didn't stick a crayon in your ear when you were in preschool, did you?
"Not that I recall..."
Well, anyway, we need to move the story along! Cue the capital H's!
H H H H
Maya was doing nothing worth specifying when a brightly colored box fell on top of her head and began to play music:
'Cause every time we touch
I get this feeling
And every time we kiss
I swear I could fly
Maya just stared at it. Common sense told her not to open it, but, for reasons unknown, she opened the box and found what everybody else who received a box from Sylar found: a cellphone.
She was about to answer it, when Mohinder walked in. Maya looked up at him, and he looked at the cellphone in her hand.
"One second," said Maya, holding up a finger. "I have to answer my phone."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Mohinder snatched the phone out of Maya's hand, and threw it out the inexplicably open window.
Wait, that window's still open?
"Apparently," said Mohinder.
"Apparently, what?" asked Maya.
"Apparently the window's still inexplicably open."
"Oh," said Maya. There was a brief moment of silence, then, "What was that about?!"
"What was what about?"
"You ripped the phone out of my hands, right as I was about to answer it!"
"Oh. You didn't want that call."
"Why?"
"Sylar's been prank-calling everybody lately. You, me, Peter Petrelli, and I just heard from Bob that Noah Bennet escaped when Elle came to tell him about Sylar prank calling him."
"Oh. Why is he prank-calling everybody?"
"I have no idea."
"Oh. What are we going to do about it?"
"I'm not sure."
"Oh. You wanna go get some pizza?"
"Sure." They both headed for the door.
Wait! Nobody move! I dropped my brain!
H H H H
Meanwhile, at Primatech Research in Hartsdale, New York, Peter Petrelli had just finished telling Bob about the ninjas.
"I can see how ninja might be a problem for us, but I doubt they're taking their orders from Sylar."
"Why?"
"Sylar prefers to work alone. So unless he's stolen the ability to clone himself, I doubt Sylar sent those ninja after you."
"Oh. Okay. I suppose that makes sense."
"Of course it makes sense; I said it."
H H H H
Sylar was adding lolcat bumper stickers to his Facebook, when he remembered several more people that needed a call from him…
H H H H
Claire Bennet was humming the Legend of Zelda theme song for no apparent reason, when a brightly colored box fell on her head. Then music started to play from inside.
Link, he come to town
Come to save the Princess Zelda
Ganon took her away
Now the children don't play
But they will when Link saves the day
"Cool. It's playing the song I was just humming a few seconds ago. Weird."
Suddenly, Claire looked out of her inexplicably open window. She thought she'd heard someone say something like, "Open the box!", but she couldn't see anybody, so she assumed it was her imagination.
She did, however, open the box. And inside the box she found…a chocolate chip cookie. Just kidding; it was a palantír. Actually, it was the usual: a cellphone.
"Hmm…I wonder why someone threw a cellphone through my window for no apparent reason. I guess I'll answer it, and see who sent it to me."
So she did. "Hello?"
"Hi. Are you interested in a career in dragon training?"
Claire thought about that. I suppose I do have the necessary skill set. Sure, why not?
"Okay," she said. "I guess a career in dragon training sounds okay."
There was silence on the other end. Then, "You're supposed to say no! And then I'm supposed to tell you that 'you may want to reconsider that, because there's a dragon on your roof', and then I light your roof on fire!"
"Um…" said Claire.
"Just kidding. PHONE TAG, YOU'RE IT!"
"Interesting…
Now, Link, fill up your hearts
So you can shoot your sword with power!
And when you're feeling all down
The fairy will come around..."
--
Disclaimer: I don't own: Heroes, Bananaphone, 1776, Everytime We Touch, Pirates of the Carribean, lolcats, Facebook, or the Legend of Zelda. I do own the ninjas, though. And the caps lock.
Note: Replies were written at time of review reception, and are worded accordingly. Also, the author rarely knows what to say in her replies anyway, so please forgive any...rephrasing of what was said in the review due to the author's lack of a good response.
Review Replies:
VairyTay: As long as I'm wonderfully insane, that's fine by me. Yeah, I love random ukulele references. Actually, I love random anything references, as you can probably (maybe) tell from this chapter.
curbsidelover23: Thank you. I'm not entirely sure what Catch 22 is, but I'll take that as a compliment.
FunkehHumour: Thanx. There will be plenty more funny images to come. (I hope, I hope)
KaileeA42: Thanks. I'm glad you liked the Chariots of Fire thing. And the Hayleyghoover song. I actually had to use that on my sister recently. She ignored me, but at least I tried. I can't wait for Season 3 either. Yay for Heroes!
TorryLover: I hope I live up to your expectations.
Shakespeare's Lemonade: I'm updating, I'm updating! I'm glad you love it.