Disclaimer: I don't own: Heroes, Legend of Zelda, Love Shack, Hairspray, the Ask A Ninja theme song, or Oklahoma! I do own CFPT and all its affiliates, and Larry's Pizza Palace and all its franchises.

Review Replies:

The Rockerbabe: You're welcome, and thank you! An Elle tag would seem iminent. Wait no more, the updates are here! Again, you're welcome.

CountryPersonel: I'm glad you think so.

Shakespeare's Lemonade: Thank you! Which game, just out of curiosity? Ninjas in general are just awesome, I had to put some in here. And we do all need a little bit of ridiculous, don't we?

Kyrial Halcoryn: Wow. 70 times? That's a lot. It seems to me like most murderers might have their hobby in murdering itself. Or maybe I'm wrong. I wouldn't know, I'm not a murderer. Thank you!

sailorsw: Thanks!

Mary666: *clears throat* Thank you. That is all.

All-Hail-Lord-Zaang: You should totally buy the Legend of Zelda games. Thanks for reviewing!

VairyTay: I'm not quite sure what to say to that. Thanks anyway.

TorryLover: Thanks, that was fun to write. There's a lot more interaction between me and the characters coming up.

Thanks to everybody who reviewed!

Chapter 7

Previously on Heroes Phone Tag:

Sylar looked up to see…ten different Links in his living room.

"What are you doing in my living room?"

"………………………?"

"Of course! The more, the merrier!"

"……!!"

And now, Heroes continues:

The Love Shack is a little old place

Where we can get together

Love Shack, baby

Mohinder answered his phone, exasperated. "What do you want, Sylar?"

"………………"

"What?"

"………"

"I'm sorry, I don't understand you."

"…………! ………..!!!!!!!" And the person on the other end hung up.

"Well, that was a bit strange."

H H H H

Link, he come to town

Come to save the Princess Zelda

Claire set Mr. Muggles down on the couch, and answered her phone.

"Hello?"

"………………………………….?"

"No, I'm afraid I don't know who owns the world's largest collection of Santa memorabilia."

"…………………………………………………"

"Oh. I'm sorry…I guess I'm not that fluent in dots."

"……………………."

"Oh! That explains it! I know nothing about Hylian dots! Could you tell me in English dots, por favor?"

"………………………………….?"

"Oh. Yes, I believe my refrigerator is running."

"…………………………………...!!"

"What?"

"…………! ………..!!!!!!!"

"'Oranges'? I'm…'parsley'?"

H H H H

You can't stop an avalanche

As it races down the hill

You can try to stop the seasons, girl

But you know you never will

Noah answered his phone. "What do you want, Sylar?"

"…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………"

"Um…I guess that can be true sometimes, but I don't know why you're calling me about it."

"……………………………………………………………………………………………!!!"

"Yes, yes, I know, it's all Congress's fault. But I still don't know why you're calling me about it."

"…………….! ……………….!" Then the person on the other end hung up.

"What? What was that last part?"

He said: PHONE TAG! YOU'RE IT!

"Oh. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

H H H H

"Why are you helping me anyway, Links?"

"…………………………………………………….!"

"'Because it's a sidequest in our newest game that hasn't come out yet. We have to play phone tag with all of you until you give us a piece of heart.'" The Links had brought Midna with them, since she's the only character in the games who actually talks with actual, audible…words. Though how Sylar can understand her, I have no clue.

"Oh. Hmm…I'm not exactly sure where to get a piece of heart…"

"…………………………………………………."

"'That's okay, it'll just show up when it's time for you to give it to us.'"

"Right. Oh! I just thought of someone I haven't called yet!"

"Cool!" said Midna. She looked up to the ceiling. "Cue the capital H's so we can find out who it is!"

H H H H

Well, I am ninja

He is ninja

She is ninja, too

I am ninja

We are ninja

And I believe that you are ninja, too

Hiro answered his phone. "Hello?"

""Hello, this is Larry's Pizza Palace; we're calling to confirm your reservation. Party of ten, 8:00?"

"Um…I think you must be mis—"

"PHONE TAG! YOU'RE IT!"

"Sylar! Villain! Bananas!" Hiro hit the redial button on his phone.

"Hello?" said a voice on the other end.

"Sylar! I will stop you, because I am…a hero!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Wait, who is this?"

"This is Larry's Pizza Palace. Would you care to order a pizza?"

"No, not now! I must stop the villain!"

"Good luck with that. Oh, hang on." There was muffled talking on the other end, which made Hiro think that the Larry's Pizza Palace employee was holding his hand over the phone.

"Okay, apparently, someone wants to send you a pizza, on them. Is that okay?"

"Oh. Okay."

Four hours later...

Hiro's doorbell rang. He stood up to answer it, wondering who it was.

When he opened the door, he saw a short, skinny teenager wearing a red hat that said "Larry's Pizza Palace".

"Here's your complimentary pizza, sir," said the pizza delivery boy.

"My name is Hiro Nakamura, and the fate of the world…is in your hands."

The pizza delivery boy looked down at the pizza in his hands. "The fate of the world rests on a pizza? And a nasty one, at that?"

"No, not really. I just like saying that."

"Oh. Well, anyway, here's your pizza." The delivery boy left.

Hiro went back inside, and opened the pizza box. Inside was a very unappetizing-looking pizza, with M & Ms on it that spelled out the words, "PHONE TAG! YOU"RE IT!".

Hiro gasped. "What kind of villain puts M & Ms on pizza?! This shall not go unpunished!" Hiro shouted, shaking his fist and waking up his BFF, Ando, who was sleeping on his couch.

H H H H

"There's a bright golden haze on the meadow / There's a bright golden haze on the meadow," sang Mr. Phoneson as he danced to his office. All the CFPTs watched him curiously.

What meadow?

"The corn is as high as an elephant's eye / And it looks like it's climbing clear up to the sky," he continued as though nothing had happened.

What corn? I see no corn.

"Oh, what a beautiful mornin' / Oh, what a beautiful day / I got a beautiful feeling / Ev'rything's goin' my way."

Are you sure about that?

"All the cattle are standing like statues / All the cattle are standing like statues," he sang.

Um…do you have the ability to see cows that aren't there, or something?

"They don't turn their heads as they see me ride by / But a little brown mav'rick is winking her eye."

Seriously, I don't see any cows.

"Oh, what a beautiful mornin' / Oh, what a beautiful day / I got a beautiful feelin' / Ev'rything's goin' my way."

Always an optimist, aren't we?

"All the sounds of the earth are like music / All the sounds of the earth are like music," Mr. Phoneson sang, greeting his second-in-command. Ms. Andcouldcareless seemed beyond words.

"The breeze is so busy it don't miss a tree / And a ol' weepin' willow is laughin' at me."

There aren't even any trees around here! What is wrong with you?

"Oh, what a beautiful mornin' / Oh, what a beautiful day / I got a beautiful feelin' / Ev'rything's goin' my way / Oh, what a beautiful day!"

What is going on with this lunatic?

Mr. Phoneson had just come back from therapy, where the doctor told him to just ignore the bold letters, and they would go away. So far, it seemed to be working.

Indeed. I can't get his attention at all.

That's a good thing, isn't it?

No, not really. It's not good for the story; if he ignores the bold letters, then he loses a lot of his comedic potential. And since when did the narration of this story get a split personality?

Just now, I think. And you say he's losing comedic potential, but him singing show tunes is just as funny, if not more so, than his reaction to the bold letters.

Hey! I'm telling this story!

Then tell it, already!

Fine!

Mr. Phoneson stared up at his ceiling, unable to ignore the bold letters suddenly developing a split personality and arguing with themselves. He calmly crawled under his desk, curled up in the fetal position, and began singing again:

"Pore Jud is daid, pore Jud Fry is daid / All gather 'round his coffin now and cry / He had a heart of gold, and he wasn't very old / Oh, why did such a fella have to die?

"Pore Jud is daid, pore Jud Fry is daid / He's looking oh, so peaceful and serene."

And serene.

"He's all laid out to rest with his hands across his chest / His fingernails have never been so clean."

See? We can have him sing show tunes and react to the bold letters, all at the same time!

Fine. Have it your way.