Hacked Date Scene

It's the one you've all been waiting for and I've finally stopped protas… that word that means mucking around… to actually do it. The lucky couple is…

(Drum Roll)

(Continued Drum Roll)

(Rick Roll)

…Reno and Yuffie! Congratulations, please collect your free tickets to the golden saucer.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yuffie, Reno, some of the script since I'm taking it practically straight from the date scenes, the Golden Saucer or Rick Astley.

--

"Damn it, what's taking that cat so long?" Reno grumbled to himself while looking outside the window of the ghost hotel. The Shinra helicopter was circling the amusement park ready for a quick extraction of one Keystone, recently won by Cloud Strife. They had to blow up a cable car just to make it look like the whole thing was out of order.

There were 3 knocks at the door, Reno's head perked up, room service. I wonder what kind of kinky uniforms the maids have here. What he wasn't expecting was a teenage ninja standing at the door with a scarily large grin.

"Hiiii C- wait? RENO?!"

"Oh crap, look kid. I'm not in the mood to fight you guys right now and its not currently my job. So could you leave me alone for once."

"Oh no, you guys are up to something and I'm going to call every one to bust your ass for whatever it is your doing. CLO-AAAAH!" Her cry for attention was cut short as Reno picked her up and slammed her against the wall.

"Listen hard and listen good. When I say I'm not in the mood, it means I'm not in the mood to deal with this kind of bullshit. Wanna go back to Wutai so we can tie you up where we found you?"

"No!" Yuffie shouted, her flailing legs catching Reno near a sensitive area, not directly on the area which would cause him to collapse from pain but close enough to still hurt and allow Yuffie to drop out of his grip.

"Why you little-" Reno murmured, reaching for his EMR when he saw Yuffie had already taken out her PHS and had already dialled Cloud for all but one digit, one her finger was hovering over.

"Not one more move mister. Unless…" Yuffie threatened

"Unless what?" Reno was definitely not game to take on the entire of Avalanche. After Sector 7 where he struggled against 3 of them he didn't want all 8 on his ass at once.

"You take me out on a date."

"Hahahahaha! You serious? Whoa… I mean seriously. You're a little too young for my taste, come back in about 4 years, then we'll talk." Reno managed to say in-between laughing. The little ninja looked heartbroken.

Sniff "You're mean…"

"Comes with the job brat. Now get out of here."

Another couple of sniffs "Meany!" She shouted dropping to her knees and started to pretend to cry.

"Aww crap. Sorry but I don't go out on dates with girls who are under the age of consent, okay. Its nothing personal just dates with me tend to end up in one place and I don't want to be arrested for it."

"What place?" Yuffie asked, still holding her face with one hand so he couldn't see that there wasn't any actual tears.

"You'll find out when your older."

"Then don't call it a date. Call it… something else." Yuffie suggested

"How would that help? Hey wait!" Too late, Yuffie had already dived in behind him as soon as he set two feet out of the room and began to push him towards the exit.

"Come on Turkey! Let's get moving!"

--

Reno reluctantly arrived at the main hub for the park after being pushed all the way out of his room, down the stairs, out of the foyer and into the tunnel. He could have easily stopped her at any point except for one fact, there were witnesses and he didn't particularly want to make a scene. Besides the little brat was still a member of AVALANCHE so she could always tip the rest of the group off if she didn't get her way. The last thing they needed was for anyone to suspect anything before the spy got the keystone out of the hotel.

"Tonight's enchantment night, all attractions are free." A man in a polka dot outfit announced.

They better be for me since the Turks are the ones footing the bill.

"How about it you two, there's going to be an event at the enchantment square in a few minutes."

"Sounds like fun Turkey!"

"…Whatever." Well at least now I know why Cloud's moody all the time. If he has to put up with princess here.

"Congratulations! You two are the 100th couple here and as such, will perform the leading roles in our play."

"We aint a couple." Reno growled.

"Oh well, I'll suppose I'll have to give it to the next couple who arrives here." The attendant said nervously.

"Why did you have to do that Reno?" Yuffie argued.

"The hell I'm wearing tights…"

A few moments later Cloud and Tifa arrived at the Square "Congratulations! You two are the 100th couple here and as such, will perform the leading roles in our play." The attendant repeated.

"What?"

"Sounds like fun, come on Cloud!"

--Back at Station Square

"So maybe the stage isn't for you."

"How about we return to our separate, and I repeat, separate hotel rooms and forget this ever-"

"Let's go on the Gondolas!"

"Wait! I didn't say that…"

--On the Gondolas

"Okay Yuffie… I've put up with a lot for you tonight but this has to be the absolute last thing we do together…" He looked up to find Yuffie kneeling on the bench with her head out of the window. "Damn, kid's got a nice ass for someone so young." He whispered to himself.

"Oooh pretty fireworks, all the colours of materia."

Stat calm Reno, you can for once resist temptation to grab the booty that's being shaken in your face. Got thrown out of three strip clubs for that… damn no-touchy rule. Besides. She's under-aged, that's a jail sentence where being a Turk doesn't work as an excuse. Reno debated in his own mind whether or not to do anything in this situation, whether to make a move or just ignore it and avoid what would probably lead to a bit of awkwardness. What he didn't expect was for Yuffie to drop down from her little perch, slowly walk over and kiss him. Okay screw it. "Hey Yuffie?"

"Yes?" Yuffie replied, now sitting down in her own seat instead of kneeling on it.

"What happens on the Gondolas stays on the Gondolas, right?" Yuffie's jaw could have hit the floor, her expression of shock and horror dropped into one of anger as she quickly jumped across half the Gondola to slap Reno across the cheek. Kinda deserved that. Reno conceded.

--

Hehehe. Well that was a super long addition to Wonders Of A Cheat Device, next time we approach an attempt to get my review count into triple figures as we revive Aerith!

And if you want a review debate, Which of my long list of stories do you want updated next?