"You're kidding. She's really doing it?" Rhodey hoots, still not convinced. He and Tony are slamming their way through a vicious game of air hockey in the game room, both of them aggressively hunched over their ends of the table, neither taking their eyes off the puck, which is zinging over the surface. Tony gets a terrific ricochet off and the puck clatters into the goal slot between Rhodey's hands. He scowls and fishes it out of the table pocket, setting it back on the table.
"That's right. He shoots, he scores, both here and in life," Tony gloats. "Tell me you're not jealous as hell."
"I don't deny you're one lucky bastard," Rhodey grudgingly agrees, "And a damn cheat at air hockey. To be honest, I didn't think she'd agree. Pepper's always been . . . independent."
"I do *not* cheat; I have reflexes like a puma," Tony announces, batting away a few hard shots. "She still is. She's just going to be independent over here instead of across town."
"Right," Rhodey snorts, and manages a backhand zing that sends the puck past Tony's overextended reach and into the goal slot with a satisfying 'clunk.' Tony sourly pulls the plastic disc out and sets it back on the table, tapping it lightly before giving it a hard slam.
"Scoff all you want, Platypus; I've got my love to keep me warm," Tony gloats.
That makes Rhodey laugh out loud. "Never thought I'd see the day when Mr. Perpetual One-Night-Stand settled down. Isn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypse or something?"
"No, but *this* is," Tony growls, managing a dizzying cross-table bank shot that zips into his opponent's goal slot with a hard, defiant rattle. He straightens up, hands out in an appeasing gesture. "Come on; be happy for me, okay? I'm serious about this."
Rhodey sighs, and pushes himself up from the table, his smile slightly wry. "I am. You're two good people who are . . . good for each other. Maybe I *am* just jealous."
"Really?" Tony blinks.
Rhodey gives a little shrug. "Sure. You've known Pepper for years. Hell, you probably were half in love with her the whole time and just didn't know it. Me, I'm not exactly in a situation where I can meet anyone, let alone fall in love."
"There are women in the Air Force," Tony points out. "Last time I looked, anyway."
"True, but most of them are either on a career track, or already married or . . ." Rhodey trails off diplomatically. "I can get laid, all right. But meeting someone for more than that? Not exactly easy. Hey, this is depressing me, so let's talk about something else, okay?"
"Sure. I need you to sit in on a meeting on Tuesday," Tony announces. "There's a little company I picked up on an acquisitions buyout that needs some inspiration."
"What do you need *me* for then?" Rhodey asked suspiciously. "I'm a pilot, not a captain of industry."
"Because it's a toy company, and they make model planes, Bird Man. Might be nice if they talked to a real live airman about it," comes Tony's reply. "Come on, it's an hour out of your day, and you might get a shot at being an action figure, like me."
Rhodey laughs. "Listen, I've *seen* your action figure and you look like Snidely Whiplash, dude. If I were you, I'd sue the model maker."
Tony rolls his eyes, grudgingly conceding the point. "They're redoing it."
"Good thing, too. It's not nice to have little kids laughing at you," Rhodey snorts. "Tuesday? What time?"
"Around nine, board room. Make nice and I'll be sure to comp you for the time, sourpuss."
"Yeah, okay," Rhodey agrees. "Might as well. What's the name of the company?"
"Zody. Zody and Sons, I think. Pepper would know for sure. Staying for lunch?"
"Can't," Rhodey sighs regretfully. "I'm needed at a top brass briefing in an hour. Something about restructured fly zones. But I'll be there Tuesday and we can grab some Won Ton William if you want after that."
"Deal," Tony smiles. "We'll stop in, check out the waitresses and see if any of them look good to you."
*** *** ***
Tony steels himself before stepping into Pepper's office. They have an appointment with Doctor Phair in a few days, and he's well aware of what that will entail. Pepper knows a lot about Tony; more than most people and he's glad of that now.
But she doesn't know everything.
It's not exactly something he's been keeping from her; if she wanted to know, she has access to Sam McGauran and all of the files. Pepper has always had clearance with all of his lawyers, and most of them already have a good working relationship with Pepper. She knows the ones who deal with publicity issues, and corporate legal affairs and even old Charlie Cavanaugh, who is in charge of Tony's estate and will.
But Tony doesn't want Pepper to find out about Sam McGauran's work in Phair's office, so he slips in quietly, waiting for Pepper to look up from her laptop and smile at him. "Tony," she murmurs, then takes a second look at his troubled expression. "Is . . . something wrong?"
"Pepper," he comes around her side of the desk and squats down, working hard to make the both of them at equal level. Puzzled, she meets his gaze, her own a little worried now. Tony takes one of her hands. "You need to know something. Something about me from before you came to work for me."
"O-kay," she replies, a little crease drawing up between her brows.
Tony draws in a deep breath. "Damn this is hard. Okay, once upon a time, before I understood about consequences, I had a one-night stand with a woman."
Pepper fights a dry expression; Tony's grip on hers tightens and he continues. "And . . . she got pregnant. *I* got her pregnant."
"Oh," Pepper murmurs. She hasn't moved, but her eyes widen, and Tony can see her pulse speed up a little along her slender throat.
He swallows hard, continuing slowly. "When she told me, I went to Sam McGauran, who told me to have her take a paternity test. It verified that the baby was mine. Understandably, I was . . . freaked out, for a while. I didn't love this woman, but at the same time, I wasn't going to deny fathering the baby."
"What . . . happened?" Pepper asks, fascinated, her voice barely a whisper. Tony closes his eyes.
"I told Sam to set up a trust fund. That I would support the child if she chose to have it."
For a moment, neither of them say anything. Tony is struck by how incredibly vulnerable Pepper looks; how young and defenseless. He wants to pull her into his arms, to kiss and reassure her, but something inside him knows it would be the absolutely wrong thing to do, so he stays still.
"So . . . you have . . . a child?" Pepper whispers.
Tony shakes his head. "No. I almost did. She miscarried at two months. I took care of her hospital bills, and I told Sam to keep the trust fund arrangements in case . . . in case any *other* paternity test ever turned out positive. Since then I've been very careful, and you know the rest of it, which I'm not proud of, but . . . ."
"Did . . ." Pepper hesitates, then pushes on, her voice getting stronger. "Did you suggest an abortion to her?"
Tony blinks. "God, I thought about it, believe me; It was not my most shining moment, Potts and I freely admit that. But for all the shit I've ever pulled, that was just one area I've never felt I could tell anyone else what to do. I wanted *her* to suggest it."
"But . . . she didn't," Pepper finishes.
Tony shakes his head bleakly. "No. And that's the only semi-honorable thing on my part about the whole incident, I guess—that *I* never brought up that option. It's not much, but at least I was willing to make good on something I was responsible for."
"Would you," Pepper locks gazes with him, her expression a bit harder now, "have publicly acknowledged the baby as yours? Allowed it to have your last name?"
"Yes," Tony replies without hesitation. "I would have."
Pepper stares at him a moment longer, her mouth trembling. "Yes," she nods slowly. "You would have."
Very carefully she rises from the desk; Tony doesn't move, staying in a crouch and looking up at her. They stay that way for a long, long moment.
"Thank you," Pepper whispers, "For telling me. I need to be alone for a while now, Tony."
He gets up uncertainly, heart thudding in a sickening beat in his chest. Tony wants so damned badly for Pepper to put her arms around him and say it's okay; that it's all in the past and it doesn't matter.
But he knows it does.
"Pepper—"
She shakes her head almost violently. "No. I just need you to leave. I'll see you for the Parkman meeting. Please, Tony--"
He rises, fights the urge to touch her, and turns. As he steps out the door and closes it, Tony hears her begin to cry, softly.
His hands curl into fists, and he thinks of the bottles in his office, lined up on the bar there, gathering dust because he's been good about not drinking at work these days, but the temptation throbs in him.
Throbs.
Tony bites his lower lip until he can taste hot copper, and goes to the engineering labs instead.
*** *** ***
"Yeah, sure, I can tell you about it," comes Sam McGauran's low rumbly voice over the phone. "Tony mentioned you might want the facts, so I pulled the file. Girl was selling cigars at the Biltmore. Pretty thing; long legs. She and Tony hooked up after he flirted with her on or about April fourteenth, nineteen ninety nine. Angela. Angela Todd."
"And she got . . . pregnant?"
"She did. Tony said he doesn't remember the condom breaking, but he'd been drinking that night, so it's hard to get exact details, even after interviewing them both. You catching a cold there, Miss Potts?"
"Allergies. And the test was positive?"
"Yep. We had an private lab run it with coded numbers so the media didn't get wind of it. Positive match for Anthony Edward Stark. I went over the results with him the same afternoon I got them. Have to admit between you and me, he rose to the occasion."
"I'm sorry?" Pepper interjects.
"Tony told me to set up a trust fund for the kid, with yearly payouts starting the day of birth. Frankly, I thought he was going a little overboard, but he made it clear that baby was never going to go hungry. I mentioned an abortion, but Tony said no; he'd take care of his own, and I was impressed. Not a lot of guys in his situation that would be willing to do that, you know?"
"Yes. Yes, Mr. Stark can be quite . . . generous."
"You're telling me. Things didn't work out though. Miss Todd miscarried. Tried to hide it; I think her mother was looking at Tony as the ultimate gravy train and told her daughter to lie, but I'd hired a guy to keep tabs on her, and he reported her going to the hospital. Sad business, really. I thought Tony would be relieved, but I don't think he was. He told me to keep the trust fund set up, and ready to go."
"Prudent of him, I guess."
"Yeah."
"What happened to . . . Miss Todd?"
"She moved to Florida, and opened up a cigar shop in Little Havana last I heard, and that was about six years ago."
Thank you, Mr. McGauran."
"You're welcome, Miss Potts."
*** *** ***
The Parkman meeting is ugly, but not because of anything between himself and Pepper. Tony hates letting people go, especially talented people like Leo Parkman. But the truth is, Leo was an Obadiah hire, a specialist in projectile weapons, and a repulsive little man to boot. Note after note in his personnel file indicate an antisocial personality with delusions of grandeur, complicated by various addictions and legal troubles.
To wit: Parkman has been arrested three times. Once for drunk driving, once for breaking and entering and once for public nudity. Parkman has restraining orders on him from one ex-girlfriend and one current Stark employee. Parkman has abused his job privileges by sending abusive emails, downloading porn and creating an atmosphere of mistrust and apathy in his division.
Normally this sort of thing would be handled by HR, but Leo Parkman is high enough in the administration that it requires a hearing, and Tony is required to sit in. He does, feeling slightly sick to his stomach, mostly because Leo Parkman's history looks familiar; all but the restraining orders, anyway.
Parkman is defiant and sullen; his lawyer looks as if he's regretting taking the job of defending his client. Tony doesn't dare look at Pepper while the hearing rolls on. He listens with only half his attention on the matter and lets the rest of his thoughts brood on whether or not telling Pepper was the right thing.
Righting wrongs, Tony has learned bitterly, often hurts the most. Time smoothes away the cutting edges, but there's always a scar.
Parkman is dismissed with a perfunctory severance package. He bitches about it, but doesn't challenge the decision. Tony leaves as quickly as possible, not wanting to look in Pepper's eyes after something as revolting as this.
He locks himself in the workshop, tearing apart the Renault Sport Spider, determined to find the source of the tiny rattle he keeps feeling at ninety, and at the same time Tony cranks the music to decibels that make the concrete underfoot vibrate. Anything, everything to drown out the emptiness in his chest.
Tony doesn't know how much time passes; but when the music goes off, he straightens up, feeling the muscles in his back protest. He blinks, his vision slightly blurry, and looks to the door.
Pepper is standing there, her hair messily tied back, big smears of potting soil on the front of her pink tee-shirt, her expression slightly haunted. She moves towards him, slow and measured, and Tony realizes she's barefoot. When she reaches him, her hands come up to cup his face, and he smells the rich loam and earth on her.
She kisses him, a lingering, hard kiss, and moaning, he wraps his arms around her warm torso, relaxing in the comfort of having her in his arms, solid and strong; willowy. Tony pulls her to him, cheek against hers, and doesn't say anything.
"I missed you," Pepper tells him in a whisper. "Let's get some sleep."
Tony nods. The Spider is still in pieces all over the garage floor; he suspects there's an equal chaos in Paradiso, but neither of them matter. They've served their purposes and in the morning he and Pepper will clean up their messes and move on.
"Pepper—" he begins quietly. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'd rather cut off an arm than hurt you, ever."
"I'm not hurt," she tells him with a wry little smile. "I'm sad that Angela Todd miscarried, and I'm sad for you because I know you cared and I don't like to see you hurt. But I'm proud of the way you dealt with the pregnancy, Tony, and I love you for choosing to do what you saw was right. Just do me one favor."
"Anything," he murmurs, rubbing his forehead against hers.
"As long as we're together, please don't get any other women pregnant."
"Done deal," Tony agrees.
Pepper pulls back and looks at him, her expression troubled. "And . . . since we're confessing things . . ."
He shoots her a questioning look, worry tingeing his features.
Pepper lifts her chin, blinking. "Tony, there's a good chance I won't ever be able to have children. I didn't want to say anything because . . . because I was afraid to. But it's not fair to keep that from you, especially since you've been honest with me."
Tony stares at her for a moment. "Why? That is, why not? What's the problem?"
"Genetics," Pepper tells him gently. "Endometriosis. I have a lot of . . . scar tissue, I guess you could call it. My previous doctors have all commented on it, and I've been told that my chances of ever conceiving are . . . slim."
Tony reaches up and strokes her hair back from her forehead, his touch gentle and slow. "Okay then. I guess that's the way it is. Unless sometime down the line you *want* to have kids."
"I . . . don't know," Pepper sighs. "Since I didn't think I would ever . . . be in love, I never gave it much thought. And right now—right now just isn't the right time, Tony."
"Yeah," he agrees. "I'm there with you."
For a long moment they simply hold each other, both of them relaxing in the warm embrace. Pepper sighs, turning her head to rub her cheek against his slightly scratchy one. "It's been a long day. Can we just go to bed?"
Tony smiles. He bends and scoops her up, carrying her easily. "Come on, Snuggles."
Pepper protests, but Tony ignores her splutters and takes her through the door and up the stairs, calling to Jarvis to start the shower and put it at grease-scrubbing hot.