Alexander woke the next morning, to find the sun streaming in through the windows. He struggled for a moment, to recall the events of the day before. He felt a bitter-sweet mixture, sadness and happiness intertwined.
Then he remembered his father, saw Pausanias attack once more, in his mind's eye. But there was comfort too. He turned to gaze down on Hephaistion. Asleep at last.
Alexander had woken just once in the night. He knew that Hephaistion was watching over him, it made his rest easier. Now it was time for Hephaistion to sleep. He had his own loss, his own grief, some love must have remained for Lysias.
He needed to go and sacrifice for his father, to talk to the generals on the funeral rites, to plan the funeral games. His father must be honoured. Once again, he saw Pausanias attack.
Hephaistion lay on his back, his head resting on the pillow, turned a little to the right. His lips parted, his breathing even. The furs lay low across his hips as the morning sun warmed his body.
Alexander ran his fingers lightly over Hephaistion's chest, until he came to the scar left by Pausanias' dagger. He recalled seeing Hephaistion for the first time, then meeting him in the stables, seeing the blood. If Pausanias had thought to drive the dagger a little deeper, like he had for Lysias; like he had for his father…
"I could have lost you too. I might never have known you," whispered Alexander.
Letting Hephaistion sleep on, he silently washed, shaved and dressed, picking out fine clothing for himself and Hephaistion. He left the clothes for Hephaistion, by his side, so that he would find them easily when he awoke. They would both wear black. Leaning forward he gently kissed Hephaistion's lips, then left the room, giving orders to the servants not to disturb Hephaistion, but to serve him when he awoke.
OOXXOO
Cleitus, Antipater, Alexander of Epirus and Cleopatra, accompanied him to the temple. The appropriate sacrifices were made, prayers said. Cleopatra's new husband comforting her as best he could.
Empedocles was preparing the funeral. He ran over the arrangements as they made their way back to the palace. It would be held the next morning, the games would follow straight after.
Alexander nodded, taking in the preparations, and happy with them, but he wanted the games held at Pella, not Aegae. He needed to return there, to the army that waited there. There would not be much delay, the ambassadors were anxious to pay their respects and be gone. They had lost their champion; the man who would have brought the Persians to heel, and now they would more than likely turn on Macedon, call them barbarians again, and intend to submerge themselves in debates and diplomacy while Persia kept its power.
As they approached the palace, Alexander was surprised to see a man he did not recognise striding over towards them.
"General Onatas," Antipater said, holding out his arms to embrace the man, but pulling a face at Alexander as he did so.
"Antipater, my old friend. Such sad news about Philip. I just arrived; I only just heard the news. So the body in the square is the assassin - I saw it tied there, but heard nothing until just now." He wiped his brow with a small linen cloth.
Alexander studied the man before him. He was tall, with short grey hair and a short grey beard, he would have been well-muscled in his youth, but now the muscle had gone to fat. His eyes were brown, his skin tanned and weather beaten. There were scars on his body, but Alexander wondered what type of soldier he was that his father had never mentioned him. Onatas looked him over, and licked his lips, before turning back to Antipater. Alexander caught Cleitus hiding a grin, but was pleased to see he was keeping silent, enjoying the fact that Onatas had clearly judged Alexander to be Antipater's eromenus.
Antipater played the game. "We will miss him, Onatas, but he left a fine successor in Alexander. I have more sad news for you, though. Lysias, was also a victim. The assassin killed him when Lysias discovered the plot."
Onatas pursed his lips together, considering Antipater's words. "And Hephaistion, another of my boys, he was not harmed?" he asked, wiping the sweat from his brow again.
"He defended Alexander," Cleitus said gruffly. "He could have been killed."
"But he is safe?" asked Onatas, smiling at Alexander, wary that Antipater might catch him looking.
"He's safe," Cleitus answered, folding his arms, judging Onatas for the idiot he was.
"Fine looking lad that," smiled Onatas. "Did Philip favour him?"
"Why are you here?" asked Cleitus.
"A letter from Philip. He said he had something of mine he wished to return."
"He was tiring of the boy."
"Of Hephaistion?" Onatas seemed genuinely surprised, and then delighted. "Oh, I will take him back to Methone. He was always my first choice. I should comfort him, shouldn't I?"
Onatas ran his hand through his hair, and for the first time Alexander saw the gold cuff on the general's wrist. He stared at it. Onatas saw him looking and held out his arm so that Alexander could see it.
"You like the cuff? It was a gift."
"I know the cost of it," replied Alexander.
Onatas pulled a face at Antipater, as if to tell him that his eromenos had still to learn manners.
"Where is Hephaistion?" he asked. "I would like to see him, to talk with him."
As if by the will of the gods, Hephaistion appeared. Onatas caught Cleitus looking and turned to see who was approaching.
"He has done well by the king," Onatas exclaimed, noting the fine clothing Hephaistion wore.
Alexander left the group, and went to meet Hephaistion, embracing him.
"It depends which king you mean," said Cleitus. "King Alexander is with your boy, Onatas. I don't think he has any intention of letting him return to a backwater like Methone."
"He. The boy. He is Alexander?" blustered Onatas, looking to Antipater.
Antipater smiled and nodded.
Onatas had no time to recover before Alexander and Hephaistion came to them. "I am so sorry, Alexander…Sire, please forgive my ignorance, I am a fighting man, not used to life at court." He bowed low, glancing at Hephaistion as he straightened up. "Hephaistion, you look well," he murmured.
Hephaistion had seen the gold cuff. He looked into Onatas' eyes. "Lysias is dead," he said.
Onatas looked around at the others. "I know. I know. Sad news indeed."
"Onatas was wondering if you would care to return with him to Methone," grinned Cleitus. "What do you say, Hephaistion?"
"Why would a King's Companion want to go to Methone?" Alexander asked, staring at Onatas.
Onatas bowed and then smiled. "I seem to have got off to a bad start," he said, then smiled again. "I think the news of Philip….your father's death has unsettled me more than I thought. If you would excuse me, I will see to my horse and find out where I can be quartered. I would like to stay for the funeral….before I return to Methone." He bowed again, then turned sharply and strode off towards the stables.
Alexander watched him go. "Commissions at the garrisons will need to be reviewed," he said, then headed to the palace.
OOXXOO
The ambassadors were gathering in the hall. Hephaistion had discovered that by standing against a wall you practically became invisible to men used to guards and servants, waiting to obey their every whim.
By the snippets of conversation he overheard, they were already discounting Alexander as a boy who could do them no harm. Hephaistion shook his head. They would have to learn the hard way.
Antipater smiled over at him, and he returned the smile. He had inwardly cringed when Alexander had announced he was a Companion. But it was the road he had chosen and there would be no turning back. So it was good that Antipater was looking on him kindly.
"Hephaistion?"
Hephaistion turned to see that Onatas had entered the hall, creeping in, not wishing to draw attention to himself. He glanced over at Alexander, the ambassador from Thebes was giving every indication of causing trouble. He looked on Onatas.
"I wondered if you could speak to Alexander for me? I fear that he did not take too kindly to me," Onatas whispered, afraid his voice would carry.
"Alexander has more immediate concerns, than you mistaking him for Antipater's eromenos, General Onatas."
Onatas looked over at Alexander. "They will all turn against him."
Hephaistion nodded. "Alexander has warned them not to underestimate him…just now. They will let Persia have the Greek states, sacrifice them, just to see Macedon defeated. Alexander is his father's son, they are forgetting that."
Onatas smiled at Hephaistion. "And you will be by his side," he stated.
"Always," replied Hephaistion.
Onatas looked at the floor, then lifted his head and listened to Alexander for a moment. "Perhaps I was meant to tempt Lysias; perhaps the fates had this all planned. I think that you were intended for Alexander all along." He looked down at his wrist, then removed the gold cuff and handed it to Hephaistion. "You should have this. It was not intended for me, I know. You should know Lysias was reluctant to hand it over, and not because of the value, but because it came from you. I told him he had betrayed you, I told him he should gift it to me, that he should forget you. I regret it now, as I think Lysias regretted losing you."
"He changed," whispered Hephaistion.
"All men change. Life does that to them." Onatas laughed, then nodded in Alexander's direction. "But with you by his side, Alexander will stay true. I know he will." He looked at Hephaistion. "So there will be no return to Methone?"
Hephaistion shook his head and smiled. "No return," he said caressing the cuff.
Onatas nodded and went to leave.
"General."
Onatas turned back.
"I will speak to Alexander. You are a good man, and Methone is a small place you can well manage."
Onatas smiled, then left the hall.
OOXXOO
The talks continued until mid-morning, when servants brought in food and wine.
Alexander called Hephaistion to him, having him sit beside him. The Theban ambassador introduced himself to Hephaistion and then began a debate on Spartan strategy. Hephaistion looked at Alexander, before giving his opinions. When he turned back Alexander was laughing, the Theban ambassador looked flustered, he had not expected Hephaistion to be able to argue a point so well.
"You are a natural, Hephaistion," Alexander whispered. "Would you like to have a go at the Athenians next? I should send you there to do battle with words with Demosthenes…" Alexander lowered his eyes then looked with love on Hephaistion, "…if I could bear to let you go."
Alexander of Epiros came over and sat on Alexander's other side. He nodded towards the ambassadors. "They eat your food and drink your wine, Alexander, but all of them are thinking that they no longer need Macedon. You will have a harder job than Philip ever had to face. He just made them notice Macedon, now they know the danger Macedon can be to them they will seek to crush it.
"I have orders to give, Uncle," Alexander replied, drinking his wine. "I would appreciate your being at a meeting I am holding with my generals this afternoon." He turned to Hephaistion. "And you will be there too."
OOXXOO
Alexander hurried back to his room. Hephaistion followed although he had not been asked to. He knew the reason why Alexander had left the meeting without him, so he would not let Alexander from his sight, he was determined.
Alexander threw open the door, then glanced back at Hephaistion as he walked in and quietly closed it. Hephaistion looked around the room, as Alexander brought his hand up to his stomach, seeing an empty bowl he fetched it and went to Alexander.
"Here. Sit." He guided Alexander to sit on the bed. "It has to be done, you know it has."
Alexander nodded, then reached for the bowl. He heaved once, but was not sick. Hephaistion put his arm around Alexander, rubbing his back, soothing him. "I have known them all my life...to order their deaths when they might not mean me harm..."
"You have no choice, Alexander," Hephaistion counselled. "And yet you have still left yourself open to danger."
Alexander smiled softly. "I can watch Amyntas. Arrhidaeus is harmless….I know he could be used by someone powerful enough, but I can keep him close." He was still pale, but obviously calming as he handed the bowl back to Hephaistion, who placed it on the floor. But the others, I bear them no ill feeling, I want them to live, Hephaistion."
"They might feel the same towards you, Alexander. But you cannot count on it. The orders have been given. They would have done the same."
Alexander shook his head. "I can kill men in battle, and not think twice about it. But to give those orders, it makes me an executioner, a tyrant."
Hephaistion kissed Alexander's cheek. "You are no tyrant, Alexander., I wouldn't be with you now if you were."
Alexander looked into Hephaistion's eyes, seeing the love reflected there. "I don't deserve you," he whispered.
Hephaistion took his hand. "Then we feel the same."
Alexander looked down at Hephaistion's hand in his. "The man Cleitus recommended, he sounds capable."
"Hecateus? It is good that Cleitus recommended him, Alexander. He showed he has no love for Attalus, and Attalus is dangerous. He has the army with him, he has Eurydice's son…"
Alexander looked at Hephaistion. "Attalus is the danger, not Eurydice's child. I can keep him close to me, watch him grow, teach him."
"Raise him as your heir?" Hephaistion laughed gently. "Then you would have no need of a wife."
"It's you I love, Hephaistion."
Hephaistion kissed Alexander's lips, not to ignite the flames of passion, but to comfort and assure. Alexander heard the message. Hephaistion loved him. Alexander felt himself calming, the sense of what he had done finally reaching him. He had to put his childhood memories away, think like a king and act like one. He had always known that one day he would have to fight for the throne, order the deaths of those who threatened him.
Hephaistion stood up, going to the door. He opened it and stepped outside of the room briefly. Alexander heard him giving orders for a bath to be prepared for food to be brought. He heard the servants moving, but Hephaistion did not come back into the room immediately. When he did he closed the door behind him.
"I just told Cleitus to tell the rest that you wish to be left in peace for the rest of the day."
Alexander laughed, despite everything. "How did Cleitus take it?"
Hephaistion pulled a face. "I don't think he liked taking orders off me."
Alexander sighed. "I see that on the faces of Cleitus and Antipater too. They miss my father. They have to get used to me as king now, but they regret the changes."
"You will be a great king, Alexander."
Alexander held his arms out, wanting Hephaistion beside him, holding him. With no hesitation Hephaistion came to him. "I seem to remember you saying that you pitied Macedon when I was king, Hephaistion."
Hephaistion looked puzzled.
"The day at the river, when I gave you back your ring," Alexander reminded him.
"Did I say that? I don't remember," Hephaistion replied.
"You weren't in love with me then," Alexander reasoned. He gazed into Hephaistion's face, he had unwittingly brought Lysias to Hephaistion's thoughts, he could see it in his eyes. He embraced Hephaistion. "I'm sorry….I never meant to…"
Hephaistion pulled away from the embrace. "It's is alright, Alexander. I used to wonder why I was so hesitant to be with Lysias. When I was at Methone he was the world to me, but now I have you to show me what the world is truly like." He leaned forward and kissed Alexander's lips. "I would love you if you were a goatherd, Alexander," he murmured.
"Things would be simpler," Alexander replied, kissing him back.
The servants came in to prepare the bath. Alexander and Hephaistion broke from their fresh embrace, both standing to look from the window at the mountains, illuminated by the setting sun.
"I want to go far away from here," Alexander said, so just Hephaistion could hear.
"You mean to fight Persia?"
Alexander nodded. "And not just to reclaim the Greek states. I want to go further than my father had planned."
Hephaistion nodded. "And never return."
"I need you by my side, Hephaistion."
Hephaistion looked over at the mountains, then back to Alexander. "I will go with you. I want to see what lies beyond." He shrugged his shoulders. "And if we never return, then what does it matter? Wherever we are, we will be together."
Alexander smiled to hear Hephaistion's reply. "You have chosen the hardest path, Hephaistion. You're right that people will judge you, and I thank you for having the courage to choose to be by my side."
Hephaistion looked back over at the mountains. "I worry that they will judge me for being just a soldier from Methone."
"A general's son," Alexander corrected him.
Hephaistion glanced at Alexander, then back at the mountains. "I have been at Methone. I am not used to life at court, I was not educated by Aristotle."
"There are things you could teach Aristotle, Hephaistion. Wait until you meet Ptolemy, Seleucus and Perdicass. They were all educated by Aristotle, but you know more than they do. We can make this life at court what we want, there is no need to fear anything."
"I just want to be with you, Alexander," Hephaistion replied, turning and raising his hand to caress Alexander's face.
Alexander smiled and kissed Hephaistion's palm.
A knock came at the door, the servants entered carrying trays of food and jugs of wine, placing them on a table, then bowing and leaving.
"The bath will be ready," Alexander said, turning, stripping off his clothing as he moved into the next room.
The servants had gone, the bath had been filled and looked inviting. Alexander threw off the rest off his clothing and stepped in to the water, sighing with pleasure as he lowered himself in to the water. Remembering Hephaistion, he looked for him.
"What are you waiting for?" he asked.
"An invitation," laughed Hephaistion, quickly stripping off his clothes and joining Alexander.
OOXXOO
Ptolemy rode up to the palace, his horse breathing hard from the pace he had set to get there by nightfall. He dismounted as he approached, needing a moment to gather his thoughts, once more, reminding himself that Alexander was king now. He wondered what difference it would make to their friendship, how life at court would change for him.
The guard let him pass, welcomed him, and he headed for the stables, looking around the buildings. Everything looked the same as the last time he had been to Aegae. He asked the groom if Seleucus and Perdiccas had arrived, although he knew they had further to travel, he hoped they might be here.
He walked into the palace, expecting to hear Philip's laughter, Philip shouting orders. All was quiet. Lamps had been lit.
He walked into the great hall and stood a moment, remembering the rowdy banquets, held here, after a good days hunting.
"Ptolemy. You made good time."
Ptolemy turned to see Cleitus reclining in a chair, his feet resting on a nearby stool, a cup of wine in his hand.
"Health to you, Cleitus," he greeted, turning to stand in front of the man.
"Were you going to Alexander?" Cleitus asked, laughing to himself before taking a drink of wine.
Ptolemy looked over, looking at the steps that led to Alexander's room. "Is he no longer there?" he asked. He had not thought that Alexander would have taken over his father's rooms so quickly.
Cleitus pushed a chair over towards Ptolemy. "Oh, he is there alright, with orders not to be disturbed. Sit down, have some wine."
Ptolemy stepped away. "If he knows I am here…" He had ridden hard to be here, he meant to see Alexander.
Cleitus laughed, and sat up a little in the chair. "He is not alone, Ptolemy. Let us say he is being comforted in his grief."
Ptolemy looked back, as if he could see through the stone walls.
"You remember General Amyntor?" Cleitus asked.
Ptolemy sat down in the offered chair, and poured some wine. "Yes, I remember."
"His son, Hephaistion, came here recently from Methone, after you were all exiled. Alexander struck up a friendship with him….that is more than just a friendship now. He is comforting Alexander. He is the one who said that Alexander is not to be disturbed."
"Hephaistion." Ptolemy said the name, but it meant nothing to him. Amyntor had three sons, but they were never at court. Some said he had refused Philip's wishes, the only one to dare to, but Philip had let it be, liking the man. Ptolemy remembered that Amyntor had once taken the time to sit with him and tell him what a battle was truly like. It took some of the glory away, made him practice fighting techniques more than he had ever cared to before.
"I saw him defend Alexander….after Pausanias had taken Philip's life. I saw him prepared to die to save him. Maybe I just don't like change," Cleitus said.
Ptolemy nodded, but the changes could only mean better things for him. Alexander would surely make him a companion, perhaps give him his own troop. He drank his wine, settled back in the chair and listened while Cleitus talked. He would see Alexander in the morning.