Press Reset

Now for an alcohol induced bout of randomness. Not cheat induced this time.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

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It was not going well to say the least, the planed assault on Sephiroth and Jenova via the northern crater to get them out of the way so Holy could run its course had run into a little hitch.

God damn Tonnerries.

The AVALANCHE crew had run into these beasts before in the battle arena at Golden Saucer where they were very difficult to dispatch. For example, the bloody things wouldn't die if Cloud hit it over the head with his new sword Ultima Weapon. Considering the effort gone into collecting that sword, including flying back and forth across the planet to find the WEAPON (that's the monster, not the sword), beating him up and ramming him a couple of times with the Highwind just so the goit could go explode over a forest and drop the cross between Cloud's Buster Sword and a beam blade that are the equivalent of swords in a sci-fi setting with no rural features.

Because swords were just better than guns, apparently, must be the whole no reload thing about them. Considering that the average protagonist chews through millions of random monsters, not-so random monsters, robots and guardsmen for the evil empire or Microsoft with an army I can sort of see the appeal in not having to buy ammunition every 30 minutes as well.

But anyway, Tonberries were very tough critters, considering that they moved very slowly and had only one attack that they could only use after having just waddled up right next to you. That knife could knock someone out in one hit if allowed so it was best to kill the buggers fast.

The problem?

The ones in Northern Crater didn't fight fair!

Sure they were a bit different to the garden variety, being purple and having a random star floating above them but the main issue here is that whenever it got bashed around the head or freaking nuked it cast a rare spell. None of the group was sure how it worked but everyone agreed it hurt.

"Damn it." Cloud cursed as the last slice failed to kill it as darkness surrounding him, the last thing he heard was the chattering of the lantern being shaken. The same thing Cid and Vincent heard last.

Game Over

New Game

-Load.

-Slot 1

Slot 2

Cloud woke up on the deck of the Highwind, checking himself for knife wounds left by the Tonberry but couldn't find any. Nor was there any damage from that weird spell that it cast.

"Vincent?" He asked carefully. "Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" The Gothic immortal said in his trademark monotone.

"Just that Tonberry really did a number on us. I was just checking." Cloud explained

"What Tonberry?" He asked confused. He didn't remember about any Tonberries.

"You know, that weird purple thing in Northern Crater."

"We haven't been to Northern Crater yet. Tifa's still demanding to go on the (Censored) Snowboarding game at Gold Saucer." Cid shouted through the door to the conference room.

"I think he may have been hallucinating again." Vincent said opening the door to talk with Cid more quietly.

"Aw crap, if he goes freaking psycho on us just throw him overboard."

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Ah the fourth wall, how I've missed taking a sledgehammer to you in such a fasion.