Chapter 5

From the time Inuyasha woke up on Kagome's couch, there had been a long list of things that he didn't want her to know. Some of them were small things, like the fact that he had actually gotten her number off of Miroku's caller ID after Sango had called from there. He also didn't want her to know how badly he wanted to make her seem as little like Kikyo as possible, mostly to keep her very existence from rubbing salt into his emotional wounds. But the biggest thing he didn't want Kagome to know was the depth of his pain, his emotional weakness. He was absolutely mortified that she'd gotten him to actually cry, drunk or not. As he listened to her story, however, he felt his attitude towards her shift from wanting to hide from her probing, to wanting to protect her, to wanting to open up to her. Those feelings, that want to open up, to vent upon her willing ears, was…disturbing, to say the least.

So when the phone rang shrilly and loudly, making Kagome jump and spill her coffee all over the couch, Inu felt almost relieved. Saved by the phone, he thought. He gulped down what was left in his cup as Kagome simultaneously tried to grab the phone off the kitchen counter and grab the towel hanging on the fridge door on the opposite side of the kitchen. She scrambled back to the couch and tried to answer the phone while scrubbing the couch cushions.

"Hello? Hello! Sango?... No, I didn't forget… Ok, well I did kinda, but I had a good reason! I promise!"

While she talked, she really only succeeded in spreading the stain around, so Inuyasha leaned over and firmly took the towel from her hands. He proceeded to press the towel into the cushion to absorb the coffee, instead of spreading it around more. Kagome scowled at the offending stain, but mouthed a thank-you at him before turning her full attention to Sango on the phone.

"Yes I still want to go job hunting today. No, no, I'll tell you later." She wandered into the kitchen with both of their coffee mugs. "I don't know how long I'll be… Hang on…" She turned to him and covered the mouthpiece. "How far from here do you live? Do you need a ride home, or do you just want to take the subway or the bus?" She rattled off the nearest major intersection; quite a good distance from his place, but he just shrugged and said "I'll walk." She raised a doubting eyebrow at him, but returned to the phone.

"Give me an hour? Yes there's someone here. I'll effing tell you when I see you!!! NO I did not 'get some'. I swear, Miroku has ruined you."

She blushed and turned her back to Inuyasha so she wouldn't have to think about the amusement in his eyes. He took advantage of the moment to unabashedly compare Kagome's figure to Kikiyo's. Kagome is shorter, he thought, taking in the slightly baggy T-shirt and pajama pants. She stood with her weight on one hip, with the fingers of her other hand doing a nervous little dance on the countertop in from of her. She has a little more curve to her too. Her hair is wavy. Kik's was always board straight. She seems so open and friendly. Buoyant even. Surprising really, after what happened to her. Not quite 'bubbly', but certainly not serious. He caught himself contemplating the curve of her hip a little too intensely and directed his attention back to the couch. He'd managed to absorb almost all of the coffee. The cushion merely looked damp. She hung up the phone just as he stood up.

"What should I do with the towel?" He gestured with the now-stained cloth. She gestured towards a folding door in the hallway as she brushed passed him on her way into her room. "There's a hamper in there next to the washing machine." She hollered from behind the door to her room. "I have to start getting ready to leave. I was supposed to meet Sango at seven, and it's already 8:30. You sure you don't want a ride?" He declined again, thinking, No thanks… Not to give you another chance to poke my wounds. I feel vulnerable enough already… He tossed the much abused towel in to the hamper as directed, and went back to trying to undo the warped deadbolt on the front door. He leaned and wiggled, pushed and pulled, to no avail. The lock stayed firm. He went back to the couch and sat, feeling like an intruder and an imposition. Not to mention nervous. He had felt relief at first, being given an opportunity to close off his pain, but now he almost felt disappointment at being denied the chance to unload his burden on someone who actually seemed to care. She's probably just being nosey… But why would she have told me about herself? Well fuck, I DID call her out of the blue while drunk off my ass… She probably figures she has a right to know. After all, she rescued me from myself… He blinked at the weight of his last thought. It felt almost truer than he'd meant it…

His internal struggles were interrupted by Kagome's return to the room. She had showered and changed clothes, and was carrying a dark colored cap in one hand. She tossed the cap at him. "I didn't see yours anywhere when I picked you up last night so I figured I'd give you one to use to get home with. You like to hide these, right?" She asked as she gestured toward his ears. They flattened slightly; a sensitive subject for him, but then her words really sunk in and his eyes widened in panic.

"What?! Where's my cap? I can't lose it; I need it!!! Oh crap…" He began to pace and mutter between his questions to her. "I wasn't wearing it? What the fuck did I do with it…? I can't lose it… You didn't see it at the bar anywhere?" She shook her head. "Shit, I have to go back to the bar… I must have dropped it there. I absolutely cannot lose that hat!" Kagome blinked in surprise. "It's just a hat… Why is it such a big deal?" He spun to face her, his eyes burning with pain and anger, not directed at her, but intimidating all the same. "You don't understand. It's all I have left of…" He trailed off, his voice feeling tight. Kagome grabbed her purse and coat from the coat rack next to the door and said, "Come on then. If it's that important to you, I'll drive you back to that bar and help you look for it." She leaned against the door, jerked it upwards in the frame, turned the stuck deadbolt about halfway, then put both hands on the handle of the door and shoved downward. The lock sprang apart and she pulled the door open. As she walked through, she said over her shoulder, "You are going to have to explain yourself you know…" Inu sighed with resignation and followed.