The Wrong Kind of Sorry
Sam POV
Something wasn't right.
To everyone else, my life was perfect. I had a wonderful wife that loved me as much as I her, and to top it off I was the leader of La Push's biggest pack. I'd already been to collage, making me the older hotshot that made girls swoon. Everyone whishes they were me. My life is perfect.
But they're wrong.
I never regretted imprinting on Emily, she was beautiful and smart, and I was sure that if Leah hadn't gotten in the way, I would have met Emily anyway and we would have fallen in love on our own. Key phrase "Leah hadn't gotten in the way."
Now I know it sounds mean. How can you say such a thing about a girl you loved, than broke her heart for her cousin? But I had said sorry too many times… well I sort of signaled it really, didn't she see the pity in my eyes? I felt bad for her. That's what she wanted… right? Me letting her know I almost felt bad? I didn't see why she could stop being such a bitch and act like a damn happy person again.
I hadn't been in Leah's head since she switched packs, but I saw her thoughts in Jacob's. I knew she sill loved me deep down, and I was guilty for that once. Not anymore though. Lot's of dudes imprint, maybe she just hated for anyone to be happy but her. I hardly remembered dating Leah, but I was beginning to think it was her fault for the werewolves. I know it sounds shallow, like I'm picking any reason to blame her, but we had gotten into a few fights, I was just so angry that I phased. If she weren't being so thick headed, maybe I wouldn't be a wolf, and could have broken up with her normally.
And then there were her… most recent thoughts. I soon discovered that although the love is in there somewhere, hate overpowers it. How could she hate me? Me? Not to brag or anything, but from what I heard being with me was the best years of her life. Did she really think she had a claim on me? Sam Uley, the Sam Uley? Not to sound arrogant, but now to think about it, Leah wasn't all that pretty, or lovable. Maybe she was better off, I knew I was.
And yet, there is the guilt. What if it had gone well? I had purchased a ring for Leah right after my graduation. I was going to give it to her on her birthday, but two days before Emily showed up. Thank god I had saved it for her. Anyway, I knew it was partly, not totally, but still slightly my fault that Leah was crabby all the time. I had given my signaled sorry time and time again, and now that I really, truly think about it…
I'm not sorry.
Well Leah, I thought to myself, I've heard all you have to say about me, now here is what I have for you.
I had ordered everyone out on patrol, even Jake's pack, with the Cullens having "friends" over. After Emily and I had finished dinner, she had gone to the market so I swiftly shifted to my wolf form and yelled in my head for all to hear;
Leah, you know what? I'm not sorry. I'm glad I imprinted, because I never loved you anyway. You were the one towing me down, so I am glad to have you out of my hair. I decided, I don't give a damn about you anymore, so stop being a bitch and be a pleasant person for once. You hate me? Really? Well guess what… I SURE AS HELL HATE YOU TOO! Go jump off the cliff or something if you aren't going to be useful.
I smirked without humor and phased back, proud that I had told her off. I was sure the others were at a loss for words at the moment, and Leah was realizing the world doesn't revolve around her. Maybe her and that blond leech… Rosailo I think… could get along.
As soon as the self-pride left, I was filled with guilt and remorse. WHAT THE HELL! Why did I say that? I was angry and all, but she was still my friend. I just acted like a total he-bitch. Seth's going to mess me up. I decided to go apologize after she cooled off, maybe in a few days or something. God that was stupid.
Four Days Later
I heard a knock on my door, so I slowly shuffled forward. I could smell Seth's scent; I knew I was in for it. He had become a hard-core punk lately. I opened the door, and was shocked to find him with a pained expression.
"Seth, what's wrong? Is someone hurt?" I asked franticly, and then I saw the whole pack behind him, and even the other pack. Minus one.
"Where's Leah?" I asked in frustration. I knew Leah would be hurt, but she always but a strong face on for everyone. Always.
"Sam… Leah's gone." I expected him to blame me, yet he oddly didn't. " We all heard your little speech, and let me tell you it won't be forgotten, but Leah's… really gone." I didn't understand, but he Jacob must have saw my confusion because he said "Sam… Leah never showed up for patrol. She never came back home. We searched for her everywhere, but you and Emily were busy…" He was rambling now, but quickly got to the point. "Sam… We found Leah… at the bottom of the cliff… in the water…. She drowned." The moment what he said sunk in, a tear welled up in my eye. Go jump off the cliff or something if you aren't going to be useful… What if she had heard me? I didn't mean it, I was just angry. But it was too late.
Leah was gone. She was dead. And for one reason or another, I knew it was my fault. I had broken her. I ruined what she lived for. I had taken Emily away as well, and starting with my wolf phasing, she turning had killed her father and now she was losing her mother. Little did everyone know we were all losing Leah.
I looked up at the pained faces of my brothers, and soon they had the same glare, the one that said you did this.
I looked up to the cliff top, and prayed a silent goodbye in my head.
Goodbye Leah, I'd say I love you, but I don't. And you know what?
I'm sorry.