Note: So this is a return back to my first two stories, Serena's point of view, second person...set sometime after Chuck and Blair get it together for real, still senior year. Let me know what you think!
You smile, unconsciously of course, because you refuse to condone their behavior, regardless of how adorable it is. And you sigh, because now you have to focus on maintaining this disapproving frown, when really all you want to do is hug them both and tell them how proud you are of them.
Come to think of it, that would probably be enough to stop this little display of affection immediately. Because god forbid those two be the cutesy-loving couple. Oh no, that's your job…you and your…currently non-existent significant other. Awesome. You can't even fret over them without making yourself want to cry out of loneliness.
Maybe that's why you hate them so much, anyway. Because, while you originally thought he could never be good enough, it's pretty obvious he's willing to try for her. And she's never seemed happier. So clearly, them together is not such a despicable notion. So maybe they drive you crazy not because it's so wrong for them to be together, but because it's so right, and because you no longer have that with…anyone, actually.
Your disapproving frown has transformed into a forlorn pout, and you're shocked when you realize she noticed. You say this (actually, you say something about being surprised she could possibly detach herself from his face long enough to notice…) and she merely rolls her eyes at you, explaining that she may play the bitch (very well, he adds, smirking – and she shoves him) but she's not completely self-absorbed.
You smile, because this is why you two are best friends – people don't realize how much she really does take care of you. You don't even realize it, most of the time. It's times like this – times when she is so incredibly happy – that it surprises you the most…because she deserves to be caught up in herself enough not to notice. But here she is, making sure you're okay.
The forlorn pout has become a sunny smile, and you rush over to hug her, pushing him off (he grumbles loudly and inserts a degrading comment that you don't hear because she's asking if you've lost your mind, but she's laughing and you're laughing and you just don't care). You lean back and tell her you have not lost your mind, you're just so thankful to have her.
Now she's smiling at you quizzically but pulls you back into the hug and tells you she loves you, too, and motions to her boyfriend that she has no idea what's going on.
Boyfriend. Her boyfriend. Now that is a ridiculous thought. You're pretty sure the surprise will wear down eventually, but for now, you can hardly believe it. And since you have released her from your loving best-friend hug, he has reattached himself to her hip, and is now playing with her hair.
She's talking to you now, and conversation turns from your temporary insanity to fantasizing over summer plans. He doesn't contribute much to the conversation; he throws in a few lewd comments and suggests a few vacation spots, but other than that remains fairly quiet. This is because he's still playing with her hair, or her hands, or caressing her back…or even just staring at her, kind of in wonder, or something. It makes you want to melt.
So it's a silly grin on your face this time, as you keep up with your conversation and notice the heat rising to her cheeks as she strokes the back of his hand. You feel, guilty, almost, for stealing her attention away from him, as he just stands there waiting patiently.
You come to the decision that he's good enough for her now, just watching how sweet and gentle and understanding he is. You wonder if she notices? You're sure she does though, she noticed long before now, before anyone noticed. Before anyone even cared to look. She saw him…she really saw him, and all he could be. She believed in him when no one else even entertained the thought of believing in him. And now you get it.
Realization dawns, and your face is now a picture of wide-eyed triumph. She's back to looking at you questioningly, and he's smirking, and asks what you're thinking. You just shake your head, and vaguely explain that you get it – you get them, you get why they're together. They both stare at you incredulously.
He responds quickly with "the sex?' while she mutters "charity case," and they raise their eyebrows at each other. He explains to her that his response was at least a compliment, while hers was just plain hurtful. She tells him to grow a pair, he says something disgusting, and she scoffs, he smirks, she starts to walk away, he pulls her straight back into him and now they are going at it like you're not even there. And by it, you don't mean fighting, you mean the other thing.
You cannot believe what you just witnessed. Actually, you can totally believe it, but you don't want to believe it because as much as you just started understanding them…ew. Understanding, and watching: two very different things.
The look of revelation is replaced with horrified disgust. Maybe you won't claim to completely understand their relationship yet. It is definitely way more complex than you even want to understand. Too many layers, too much pride and banter mixed with sweetness and genuine feelings, plus there's all the insecurities and rejection and then there's the games… ugh, yes it is definitely best to not think about these things.
It's also best not to watch these things! You clear your throat, loudly, and when that doesn't work you stomp your foot like a two-year-old and whine, "you guys…"
They pull away and look at you, and again you're overwhelmed by the insane cuteness because they're both all red and breathless and still clutching at each other desperately.
A small (small) smile escapes, and is immediately replaced by the aforementioned horrified disgust, and you ask if they could please, please, refrain from such activities in your presence. He smirks and is prepared to respond with a "no can do"-esque statement, when she jabs him in the stomach and replies, "Of course, we're so sorry. Just got a little caught up."
You're shocked, and your face matches, and he's a little miffed, and she just shrugs. She explains that she has no desire to make you feel uncomfortable, plus she should really keep the PDA down, as gossip girl is everywhere and she could use a break from that. He rolls his eyes and says he couldn't care less about gossip girl, but he could care less about whether or not he gets to make out with his girlfriend.
You do not miss her beaming as he says the word. Girlfriend. You match her ecstatic grin. She kisses him again, and he is surprised but eagerly responds, and you don't even complain because once again you're caught up in their happiness.
She pulls away suddenly, and looks at you questioningly, but you nod easily and wave your hand as if to say "carry on," and she happily does. You walk away, feeling vaguely satisfied with the whole ordeal. You made some discoveries, soaked up some happiness…it was a little disgusting, but what more can you expect with these two, right?
You sigh contentedly as you walk down the steps, and wonder briefly if you should explain to him that she will always respond eagerly when he uses the word, 'girlfriend.' You shake your head no, though, because he would totally take advantage of that, and you will not allow him to ruin something so sweet. Because that's what it is. Completely sweet. Completely un-them, and completely sweet.
You're pretty sure they'll always be like that. Wow, you're pretty sure they'll always be like that. You're pretty sure they'll be always. That's a scary thought, maybe even a ridiculous thought, but…just seeing them, together and everything? They could definitely last. If anyone could see this through, it would be those two. Yeah, you're pretty sure they'll make it. And you're pretty sure you want them to.
But you think you'll keep the disapproving frown for now, because really, it would be no fun if they new you were rooting for them.