A/N: I apologize again about the long waits. I hate not being able to work on the story more but I've got tests pretty much every week and it's hectic. You know how that can get with school. It's basically a constant thing for me now, one due date after another.

Anyway, I had a good section of this done about a month ago but the chapter would have been a lot shorter. And I don't know how you guys feel about it, but I think a short chapter is a gyp. Not sure when the next one will be up. I've got finals in about a month so probably no writing time till after that. :(

(Edward)

"I have a surprise for you."

Alice entered my hotel room, beaming, Jasper at her side.

I quickly read her thoughts. "A T.V. show? Bella's going to be on a T.V. show?"

She pouted. "You always spoil my surprises, Edward." But her frown quickly faded. She grinned and nodded.

"When?"

She glanced at the clock on the wall. "I think they do live tapings so….now."

I was on the sofa and in front of the television with the remote in my hands before she could even finish her thought. I clicked the buttons impatiently until I found what I was seeking. I was just in time.

"….the very lovely Isabella!"

If my heart were still beating it would have stopped in that instant. She was so beautiful, so impossibly lovely. I smiled in spite of myself as she tripped slightly while walking out onto the stage. As clumsy as she was and wearing high heels, it was a wonder she didn't fall on her face. I sighed. So many things had changed, but through it all she was still my Bella. I watched as she briskly walked over to the chair beside the show's host.

A young man was sitting on the sofa to the right of the chair. He rose when Bella neared and took her hands in his before kissing her cheek. A low growl began to build up deep in my chest. How dare he touch her…

Easy, Edward.

I didn't bother to look at Alice; I knew the look that went with that tone and I had seen it plenty of times before. I had no right to be jealous if another human took an interest in Bella. Many humans did no doubt. There were plenty in our school alone who were waiting for her to notice them. But I had made my choice and I had no say in what she did with her life now. She was free of me, free to be with someone who didn't perversely lust after her blood. But not this human. He may not have lusted after her blood, but there was obviously something he did want from her, and I would gladly crush his skull if he ever dared to hurt her.

As Bella took her seat in the chair the dim-witted boy leaned in as close to her as the couch would allow.

"Welcome to the show." The host offered a friendly grin as he shook Bella's hand. "We're happy to have you here tonight."

"Thank you, Jay." Her voice trembled slightly as she spoke. I didn't need Jasper's gift to know how nervous she was. "It's, um, great to be here."

He then went on to ask her about her upcoming album release, the fool beside her leaning in all the more. Then the question I was most curious about was asked.

"So, uh, is there a special guy in your life right now?" The host asked casually. The idiot, Jason, was so close to Bella that his face was nearly pressed into her hair.

Bella smiled coyly. "Well…"

The anticipation was agonizing. I watched to leap at the television and shake it violently. My fists were clenched at my sides. I didn't know what answer I hoped to hear. Part of me hoped there was someone special in her life, someone who could make her happy in a way I couldn't. But then the other part, the darker part, hoped that she was just as lost without me as I was without her. Alice put her hand over mine. Wordlessly, I released my fist and spread my hand into the smooth skin of her palm.

Bella's finger twirled around a lock of her hair. She cocked her head to the side, smiling nervously. "I'd really rather not discuss that part of my life, if you don't mind." Her tone was polite and calm, but it made my throat lock. There was someone else. Of course. How could I expect her not to move on? It was what I wanted for her. I forced myself to swallow the lump in my throat.

Jay looked at Bella knowingly. "Oh. So then I can assume there's someone you don't want us to know about?"

"Well, Jay, you know what they say about assuming things."

Jay's face became colored with mock surprise. "Why, Isabella, are you calling me an ass?"

The audience laughed. Bella chuckled. "Of course not. I'd just rather keep my private life private, that's all."

"Okay," Jay said, sounding disappointed. "I can respect that." He then switched to another subject. Bella looked relieved.

It doesn't mean anything, Edward.

My face must have given away the pain I now felt surging through my veins, the pain that throbbed straight into my dead heart. Alice's voice was soft and sympathetic in my head. I didn't look at her.

"You heard what she said," I murmured. "She was so elusive. She could have just said she was single, but she didn't."

Of course not. Do you think she wants a bunch of guys hitting on her constantly?

I frowned and Alice rested her head against my shoulder. She loves you, Edward. Don't forget that.

I shook my head sadly and glanced back up at the television. The show was going to a commercial break. As the camera pulled away Bella turned to speak with Jason. My lips pressed together tightly.

"There's nothing I can do. It's too late."

Alice spoke aloud now. "But there is something you can do. And you know what it is."

Oh no. Not this again. I pretended not to listen, hoping she would drop it though I knew she wouldn't. I got up and moved to a chair across the room.

"Well?"

I groaned and buried my head in my arms, refusing to look over at my impatient sister who I knew was sitting on my bed glaring. I knew perfectly well what she wanted but I decided to play dumb as long as I could. I wanted very much to avoid having yet another conversation, more like argument, with her.

I muttered unintelligibly into the sleeve of my shirt.

"Have you even thought about it?"

"Hmmm?" I murmured, looking up and blinking at her innocently as I furrowed my brows in mock confusion. "Thought about what?"

Alice rolled her eyes and shot me a deadly look. "Edward Cullen, you know perfectly well what I'm talking about!"

I groaned even louder. Jasper had gotten up to site beside Alice. His arm was securely wrapped around her waist. He looked at me sympathetically.

You can't win against her.

"I know," I said, looking away from Jasper and up at Alice. "Yes, I've thought about it," I said in a strained voice. "I won't do it Alice. No chance. I can't just start writing her letters like some love struck teenage boy."

"Which is exactly what you are," Jasper noted, and he began to laugh.

"Ha!" I exclaimed. "I'm more of a man than these children could ever hope to be."

"That's not the point," Alice interrupted in an annoyed voice. "Are you going to write to her or not?"

"I told you. No."

"I told you he wouldn't go for it," Jasper murmured in a low voice. Alice turned to face her husband and gave him a look that put an abrupt halt to any further input from him. Now she turned on me.

"Why not?" She demanded, standing up from the bed. "What's the risk involved here? None. And I know how badly you want to talk to Bella. This is the only way."

"No," I repeated. "I told her there would be no more interference from us. I'm going to leave her alone so she can live a normal life, be happy."

"But she's not happy, Edward. Don't you see?" Alice took my hand in hers. "It's in her eyes. She's empty. You are the only one who can make her happy. She needs to be with you."

I sighed. "What she needs is to forget she ever met me."

"Is that really what you want?"

"It's not about what I want. Not anymore. I've got to put her first."

"Then why don't you?"

"Come on, Alice. Be realistic." I was starting to lose my patience with her. "I told you before, it won't work. There's no guarantee the letter will even get into her hands."

She rolled her eyes again. "No guarantee, huh?" She tapped her forehead and muttered, "Jeez, Edward. Wake up."

"You mean you've seen something then?"

"Obviously," Alice replied with the same biting sarcasm. Her expression softened then and the harshness in her eyes faded. "She looked so happy. You've got to do it Edward. If not for you, then do it for her. I know there's nothing you wouldn't do to make her happy."

She was right.

"But she'll know it's me writing the letters. I know her, Alice. Even if I altered my handwriting, she'll figure it out eventually. That's the kind of girl she is."

"I know," Alice agreed. "You just have to find a way to be yourself without really being yourself. Shouldn't be too hard, right?" She beamed at me, victorious, showing off her full set of perfectly straight white teeth.

"Right," I echoed dully.

"You'll figure it out," she said confidently. "Jasper and I have to go down to the lobby and get a room. We'll stay here tonight."

"You could just stay in here," I offered. "It's not like we need an extra bed."

"We've already been seen by some of the hotel staff. It would be too suspicious if we just disappeared into your room."

"I thought you'd have gotten a room when you first arrived."

"No," she said grinning. "We just broke into yours." She grabbed Jasper's hand and pulled him out the door. "We'll be back in a bit," she called from the hallway.

Be myself without being myself….how in the world was I supposed to do that? I sighed. Maybe it would be best if I forgot the whole thing. But I truly did want to talk to her. I ached with the pain of her loss. I would endure the transformation out of my human life a thousand times over just to see her again, just to feel the warmth that radiated from her ivory skin. Perhaps my speech needed an update. I still spoke in the formal, polite tone that was a sign of the times I had grown up in. I preferred it and had no wish at all to conform to the speech of today, but for this, I would have to do something.

I decided that I would try and learn the way teenage boys of today talked. Listening in on their minds might have been beneficial but people usually didn't speak out loud the same way they did in their heads. Besides that, I had taken to drowning out the minds of teenagers long ago. It was mundane and impossibly dull. I only listened in if there was something I wanted to hear, as I did with nearly everyone who spoke to Bella at school. Otherwise, I had no desire whatsoever to hear their thoughts or pay attention to their slang and trends.

I sat on the sofa in the front of the television and clicked to MTV. I loathed this channel. It was nothing but screaming girls and terrible noise they actually called music. Not to my surprise, it didn't take long to find what I was looking for. I studied a program carefully about a popular young rapper who was going to show an interviewer his "crib", whatever that was. The show went to commercial and I cleared my throat, preparing to practice what I had just witnessed. I strode over to the mirror on the wall and stared at my reflection.

"'Sup, dawg?" I tried. "You wanna see my crib?" I frowned at myself. Oh, this was ridiculous. What was I even saying? I shook my head helplessly before looking up in the mirror to try again. "Yo, those be some pretty tight sneaks you wearin'. Word."

I stepped back from the mirror, feeling foolish. "Utterly preposterous," I muttered to myself, bitterly. How do these people even communicate? Is that supposed to be English? No one could possibly understand what that meant.

I had been so distracted that I did not notice the snickers coming from behind me. I turned to see Jasper and Alice standing in the doorway, back from their trip to the lobby. Now they were both hutched over, laughing, and seeing the look on my face, they began to laugh even harder. I continued to glare at them.

Jasper straightened up and said through choking gusts of laughter, "'Sup, Eddie dawg?"

Alice bit her lip, trying to bite back her amusement and appear serious. "Those be some pretty tight sneaks you wearin'!"

"Word!" They shouted together and gripped each other by the arms to keep from falling over for laughing so hard.

"Very funny," I said dryly.

"You're right," Alice cackled. "It is."

"What are you doing anyway?" Jasper asked. "Besides making me laugh harder than I have in a decade?"

"Edward's gone gangster!" Alice exclaimed. "Let's go shopping for baggy pants!" She danced over to me and reached for my hand.

I quickly took a step backward. "No, no. That isn't it at all. I was trying to take your advice. You said to be myself without being myself." I frowned.

"You don't have to go to such extremes," she said, fighting to control her laughter. She turned to Jasper. "It just goes to show that no matter how many decades a person lives, he still can have no idea whatsoever when it comes to the opposite sex."

"Thanks, Alice." I said dryly. "As if I didn't already know that I'm a terrible excuse for a boyfriend."

"You just made a mistake with Bella," she said consolingly.

I ignored her attempts to excuse my behavior. "Then what do I do?" I growled, my frustration evident.

Alice pressed her lips together. "Well, you'll want Bella to have some idea of what you're trying to say. Just write what's in your heart. You know what she needs to hear and you know what you want to say."

"I just can't be myself."

"Something like that. Don't pretend to be something you aren't. She fell in love with you, remember?"

I nodded glumly, still a bit confused as to how I was going to accomplish this.

"Just think about it," Alice smiled kindly. "We'll leave you alone for a while. I want to check out that antique shop I saw on the way here. Come on Jasper."

Jasper groaned softly and got up from the bed. Alice giggled and took his hand, pulling him out of the room. The door closed with a soft click and I was left to my thoughts again. I stood from the chair and went to sit at the desk, switching off the television as I went. I took out a piece of paper and pen from the desk drawer and placed it in front of me. I then reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out Bella's faded red hair tie and pressed it against my cheek, praying that the words would come to me.

Anxiety and paranoia flooded through me. What if she knew it was me? How would she feel if she did? Would she be happy to hear from me or repulsed? And how would I sign the letter? I certainly couldn't put my name and "your secret admirer" was far too childish.

I groaned loudly, frustrated. Maybe I was making this harder than it had to be. I needed to do as Alice: write from the heart, tell Bella everything I'd say to her if she were here, if nothing had changed.

Not entirely sure what I was doing, I picked up the pen and began to write.