A/N: Last part. The three songs that played a role at each chapter were my muse. Hope you enjoyed...feedback is always enjoyed.
Though
the night has fallen
I close my eyes and imagine
A tiny
glimmer flickering on the horizon.
It takes time to get it
right
Takes no time to get it wrong.
I can't believe I didn't
see
The ground was caving in
Oh, can we just start again?
(Glimmer – Aqualung)
It was worse then the day he left because at least then she knew he left loving her, wanting her, needing her just the way she felt about him. The thing that hadn't changed was that she still felt exactly the same…but he had moved on. She hated him for that, hated Lulu for being a part of his life, hated Dillon for being his new BFF, Steffy for being his gorgeous smiling girlfriend but most of all she hated herself for ruining what they could have been. She let him go and now he wasn't hers…and it made herwant to scream, hit something and cry all at the same time. Instead she let the smile curve her lips upward, "Spinelli" she let out.
He did something unexpected and smiled back. His eyes were different, still the same green but with a sadness in them that wasn't there before. She knew she had put it there…took the innocence of a goofy smile and hardened him in ways she could have never prepared herself for.
As he came towards her it was like everyone else disappeared and it was just them standing in the hallway of the Metro Court meeting for the first time in a year and a half. It's his smell that assaults her senses first…Chrome…her favorite…the one she bought for him and she wants to believe that he wore it for her…so that she would like the way he smelled. When he is standing in front of her she wants to memorize him, the lean maturing of his face, the way his shoulders seem to be wider then before, the clothes more fitted, the hair less tousled. For a moment it's like too much has changed and then his voice touches her ears again, "The Jack…I, didn't expect to see you so soon" he whispers.
The language is different…like someone tamed his Spinelli but the tone is the same, the same smooth vibrato that reminds her of one night long ago…one night where he bared his heart to her and she ripped it apart.
"You look great" she tells him…and he does, he looks perfect…but she's biased because he always has.
Johnny clears his throat and the moment is lost, "Damian" Steffy says happily.
She watches in agony as Spinelli smiles at the beautiful girl, "Stef" he says and she takes a little comfort in the fact that he doesn't say her name like he does hers.
Smiling Steffy offers her hand, "So this is the Maxie Jones" she says looking into her eyes.
Maxie knows a challenge when she sees on and she raises her chin slightly, "Nice to meet you…Steffy" she offers.
Lulu is the one that interrupts, "I hate to break up the reunion, but Carly is eyeing me so we better get this show on the road" she says nudging Dillon.
"Oh yeah, you know how the Quartermaines get when they don't get fed on time" he said.
Steffy looked at them, "Nice meeting you again" she said nicely.
Their eyes locked once again and Maxie smiled, "It was great seeing you Spinelli" she told him.
A slight blush came to his face and for a moment they were back in the Penthouse drinking orange soda, "The pleasure was the Jackal's he says" before turning to Johnny and nodding, "Nice to see you again John" are the last words he utters before walking back to his new life.
OoO
They don't speak on the ride home, the silence telling them much more then there mouths ever would. If they are honest they would admit they were doomed from the beginning…like two cars colliding on the freeway, it was bound to happen and when it did the wreckage took out everyone around them. He opens the door for her and they stand in the dark together, "It was nice to see them, they look happy" is all he says.
What he doesn't say always speaks more to her and she touches his hand, "Do you remember what it's like to be happy" she whispers.
It is easier to do when they're not looking at each other…when they don't touch, don't rip off each others clothes, just speak in the polite adult tones neither is very accustomed too, "I don't deserve to be happy Johnny"
Looking up to him there is so many demons in his brown eyes…and they are familiar because they are the same ones that haunt her at night. Touching his face she wonders the last time she felt connected to him in this way, "You do Johnny, we both do" is the last thing she says before turning around and heading back towards her room. Neither had to ask the inevitable…
Opening her closet she pulled out shoe boxes until she came to the plastic tub in the back. Pulling it out she grabs the book gently and opens it. He loved her…so much that it scared her. She never deserved someone like Spinelli…and she would just end up getting him killed. She thought the distance would help but it couldn't erase his stain on her. Maybe it's too late, but she's not selfless enough to let the chance pass her by again.
OoO
"Not many people are lucky enough to marry their best friend…I am…sure we took the long road but she's a Spencer and they never do anything easy" Dillon said making everyone swoon and laugh at the same time, "But I promise you, this time I'm not letting you go…this is forever Lu, and that is one thing you can always count on"
Smoothing her dress she tries to focus on the happy couple. Truth is, Lulu and Dillon are just window dressing because her eyes are locked on him the whole ceremony. His shoulders are broader now, the tux making him look so un Spinelli like…but the eyes, they were all his and when they met hers in the crowd she knew…it was now or never.
OoO
The tent in the garden was flanked in candlelight and as she took her seat next to Sam and Jason she scanned the room for him when he held the mike in his hand, "Um, so, the Jackal, I…don't do speeches so instead I offer the fair duo a melody from my eart" he said before sitting on the stool as the band started to play.
What
day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I
can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much
time
'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing
to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other
people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
Staring her mouth stood ajar and Sam elbowed her, "I didn't know Spinelli could sing"
There weren't words because she didn't know either. All she could do was stare at him and then there eyes met and it was no longer Dillon and Lulu's wedding…it was just the two of them. His gaze burned her, the lull of the song entrancing, and if she died this moment she would die knowing that he loved her, even if she didn't deserve it.
One
of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm
tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know
where to go from here
'Cause it's you and me and all of the
people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me
and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes
off of you
For a moment she doesn't remember to breathe…and it's too much. She is Maxie Jones, not scared of anything…but this, every emotion coming back and stinging her…she's afraid of that…afraid of feeling too much…because it never lasts.
There's
something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she
does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
'Cause it's
you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to
lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know
why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people
with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all
other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of
you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never
seemed so alive
(You and Me – Lifehouse)
When the song ends she gets up and makes her way out of the reception her stilettos clicking on the cobblestone walkway.
"Maximista" she hears but keeps walking, "Maxie" he says touching her arm.
As she turns she snaps, "What do you want? Can't you just leave me alone?" she asks.
His eyes cloud with hurt and she wants to take it back but she doesn't instead she stares iciliy, "Go, just go back to your happy life and leave me to mine" she tells him each word stabbing like shards to her heart.
His head hangs, "If that is what the Maximista wants" he whispers turning.
She should let him go…but she never does what she should, "Don't you know me well enough to know this isn't what I want?" she asks tearfully.
Turning he looks at her his mouth slightly ajar I confusion, "All I want is you…and I don't deserve you, I never did. You thought I chose Johnny over you…but I chose you because with me you'll either end up dead or a big jaded mess" she says letting it all spill from her.
Slowly he comes close to her, "Maxie" he whispers touching her face.
"I love you Spinelli…I always did and I always will"
Her lips are touching his before she can even think and there is a gasp. As they pull apart there stands Steffy her face clouded in confusion.
"Damien" she asks softly and when he looks at her there is a droop in her smile before she turns to run.
"You should go after her" Maxie says hoarsely.
Their eyes meet and he shuffles around, "The Jackal should…and yet he stands here…because he loves you Maxie Jones…and he always will."
It's enough for her…and it's messy and it scares her…but as long as he is there to catch her when she falls she can actually let herself believe it may all be okay.