For some reason, I was imagining what would happen if our Hueco Mundo friends knew how to play video games. Thus, this story was born, a tale how video games can handle any situation—arguments, friendship problems; you name it, video games solve it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Guitar Hero. (But I do own my own set; does that count?)
Chapter Three: Guitar Hero
Time: After Grimmjow is the number six espada again
Guitar Hero High Scores:
1. the_emo_kid (Ulquiorra)
2. the_emo_kid (Ulquiorra)
3. two_arms_for_beating_you (Nnoitra)
4. too_lazy_to_think_up_a_name (Stark)
5. I_heart_Wonderwyce_too (Aizen)
6. Shinso_pwns_u (Gin)
7. the_emo_kid (Ulquiorra)
8. I_have_fifty_eyes (Zommari)
9. I_eat_hollows_and_I_eat_you (Aaroniero)
10. King_of_da_jungle (Grimmjow)
Note: Notice that Ulquiorra is on the list three times—the first time he did fairly well and placed fifth. Then after Grimmjow challenged him to a Guitar Hero tournament, Ulquiorra suddenly improved rapidly and claimed the top two spots.
Note 2: Notice their usernames. They're amusing, aren't they?
"You're going DOWN, Ulquiorra!" Grimmjow grimaced at his memory—how he challenged Ulquiorra to play the video game, so sure that he would lose, but of course, Ulquiorra took the first and second places. Grimmjow was going to get his revenge.
"I don't really care," Ulquiorra replied, busy reading a magazine. (1)
"You don't care that I'm doing to beat you?" Grimmjow laughed. "Then I'm now holding back."
Ulquiorra turned a page calmly. "Stark managed to beat you, and he was lazy. Even Aaroiero beat you. And its two heads never agree. I should think that your half of a head should be able to at least beat him."
The iCat that Gin gave Grimmjow began to walk back and forth on the TV.
I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck. So I'll shake my butt...
"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!" Grimmjow began to fire a cero, but was stopped by Tousen, who grabbed his hand.
"What are you doing, Grimmjow?"
"Destroying that piece of crap." Grimmjow yanked his hand away from Tousen's grip. "You got a problem with that?"
"Yes. Do you have a problem with me, Grimmjow?" Tosen turned to Grimmjow, his glasses facing him.
"No, not at all!" Grimmjow protested sarcastically. "Let's see. The only things you've done were to cut off my arm and burn it. You do violent things in the name of your so called 'justice,' and you come ruin my fun. No I think we're best friends."
Ulquiorra sighed. "People like you, Grimmjow, and the reason people like me need to take medicine."
"THAT'S IT! I CHALLENGE YOU TO ANOTHER GUITAR HERO FACE-OFF! YOU TOO, TOUSEN!" Grimmjow roared. "YOU BETTER COME UP WITH A USERNAME, AND QUICK, BECAUSE I AM NOT GONNA GO EASY ON YOU!"
"Don't pollute the air. You do that enough by breathing," Ulquiorra snapped. "Besides, you've already challenged me, and guess how that ended? I won."
"I accept in the name of Justice!" Tosen proclaimed.
"Can I join, too?" Gin said with the ever-present grin. "I'll do it in the name of Chappy!"
"Why not make it a complete Las Noches competition and be done with it?" Ulquiorra sighed and put his magazine away. "I look forward to defeating you again."
-x-
A week later, the arrancar met under the blue sky of the Hueco Mundo stadium to have their Guitar Hero faceoff. Only Aaroniero had refused to show up—every other Espada and all their fraccion had come to watch the competition. Even Aizen had come to be the announcer.
"Noooow, in the first competition, we have a talented little boy very dear to my heart, GIN ICHIMARU!" Aizen cheered wildly, but he was the only one. The other arrancar were exchanging glances wondering if it was too late to return their tickets.
"Tough crowd. We also have a blind wise-dude, who is competing, quote, 'in the name of justice.' Give it up for Kaname Tousen... Yay..." This time, not even Aizen cheered, so the stadium was completely silent.
"Now, we know the rules. Whoever gets the higher score moves onto the next round. Don't cheat, don't kill your opponent, blah blah blah. Begin!"
Tousen was feeling very stupid now. Gin was not a very good player, but at least he could SEE. Tousen knew only one song in the entire game, and that was 'The Justice Theme Song.' Gin, of course, picked 'Chappy and Friends Theme Song' to play the game.
"I'll wing it," Tousen sighed, randomly pressing the buttons. To no one's surprise, he lost with a total score of 200.
"So Gin moves up to Round Two!" No one clapped.
"NOOOOO! YOU DO NOT WIN! I WIN! BANKAI!" Tousen shouted, angry. But because Gin was by Aizen's side already, Tousen was trapped in his little hot-air balloon–like Bankai by himself.
"Now, for the next set, we have the hot-head with blue hair, GRIMMJOW JAEGERJAQUES!" This time, loud applause and cheers were heard everywhere.
"Why didn't I get a welcome like that?" Gin asked, pouting. "I'm just ask popular, right?" Aizen didn't dare to respond.
"We also have our, eh, loveable and happy Espada, ULQUIORRA SCHIFFER!" Polite applause was heard; Ulquiorra wasn't as popular as Grimmjow because he was colder. But he was hot, so Halibel's fraccion cheered wildly for him as well.
"This is stupid," Ulquiorra sighed. "I forfeit."
"YOU FORFEIT?" Grimmjow's jaw dropped several inches. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"
"This doesn't prove anything. My score is still the high-score. So even if I forfeit, I'm still winning." With a ta-ta wave, Ulquiorra left the stadium, as he was in a hurry to get back to his magazine.
So the competition continued, and by the last round...
"AND FOR OUR LAST ROUND, IT IS HALIBEL VERSUS GRIMMJOW! Cough, cough. Ah, I really need a cough drop," Aizen sighed. Two hours of being the announcer was taking its toll. "PLEASE NOTE THAT ULQUIORRA'S SCORE IS STILL THE CURRENT HIGHSCORE, SO THE WINNER OF THIS COMPETITION WILL BE THE PERSON WHO BEATS THAT SCORE! SOMEONE GET ME A COUGH DROP!"
"Ladies first," Grimmjow bowed. "What song shall we do?"
"Miss Murder; my favorite," she replied. "But on the most difficult level, of course."
Grimmjow sweat-dropped. "Uh oh..." He had never played this song before, and a competition he had initiated would not be the best time to learn.
As the song started, Grimmjow began fine, but then started making mistakes—more and more mistakes. But Halibel was perfect, starting a 200 note streak.
"I lost..." Grimmjow whimpered at the end of the song.
"Not really," Halibel sighed. "Ulquiorra still has the highest score, but he and I are tied for second how, and you..."
"Don't say it."
"... are still tenth place." Halibel flashed a smile. "Don't worry, Grimmjow. Girls are better a video games. Practice."
Aizen walked up to them, rasping. "Congratulations, Halibel. Here's a silver bowl." He began to cough. "Wasn't that fun, everyone? We'll have to do it again next year. But next year, someone else is commentating..." Aizen left to find Tylenol.
-x-
A year later, a tradition was being born. No one had yet beaten Ulquiorra's perfect score on the hardest song, but they were getting close. Grimmjow and Halibel were constantly tying for second, and Tousen had learned the Chappy song. Meanwhile, Ulquiorra had taken Aizen's job of commentating...
At the tournament, Ulquiorra picked up the microphone but did not say anything. As if on cue, the thousands of arrancars and hollows cheered.
"He has such a way with words," Sun-Sun sighed.
Mila-Rose sniffed. "It's like poetry, the way he speaks."
Apache rolled her eyes. "Crazy."
(1) What magazine, you ask? He borrowed it from Lisa (the Vizard), okay? Enough said.
Hope you've enjoyed this chapter! Please R if you review, then you get front-row seats to a poetry reading starring Ulquiorra! Cue the fangirls...
P.s. Playstation, Harmonix Music, and the makers of Guitar Hero, you should thank me for the free advertising.
What's next in the Hueco Mundo Bowl? Well...
The Shinigami Women's Association—they are scary, noble, and powerful. These beautiful ladies are indirectly in charge of Seireitei, and do everything in their power to demolish the Shinigami Men's Association. But what happens when the Arrancar Women's Association is formed? Who is their president? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO HAPPEN? Questions to be answered in the next installment of Hueco Mundo BOWL!