Sorry for the late update, everyone... hope this chapter is worth the wait!
Author's Note: Very AU and OOC, but it will totally be worth the madness.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the SWA, but I do own the AWA.
Chapter Four: The Arrancar Women's Association (The AWA)
No matter what kind of person Ichimaru Gin was, he was not a thief. He may have a weird smile, he may be a traitor, he may have been somewhat of a criminal torturing Aporro's Fraccion, and he may have lied and tried to kill Hitsugaya and Momo, but he was not a thief. Okay, seriously. Who are we kidding? He's a thief. That's what Apache said bluntly, anyways, on an angry rampage and determined to take it out on Gin.
"You're a traitor, a criminal, a liar, a murderer, and a thief!" she shouted angrily.
"Madame!" Gin said, pretending to act shocked. "I don't deny that I am a traitor, a criminal, and, eh, what else did you say?"
"A traitor, criminal, murder, liar, thief," or something like that," Sun-sun replied, casually reading Ulquiorra's magazine.
"Well I don't deny that I'm a murderer or a liar either, but I, Ichimaru Gin, am NOT a thief!"
Mila-Rose pulled out a copy of The Seireitei Times from under the sofa. "Then where did you get this?"
"I—ah, borrowed it from Hisagi-san," Gin stuttered.
"This copy is from last week."
"Happy birthday?"
Sun-sun swiped the magazine from Mila-Rose's hands. "I think the articles looks fascinating. '25 ways to complement your skin tone?' 'What NOT to wear on a date?' I think some of these are actually worth reading. Quite unlike," here she gave Gin a dirty look, "the boring pamphlets that Tousen churns out by the hour."
"Then it's a gift! Happy birthday!" Gin scurried out of the room, afraid that Halibel would hear about this.
"Fascinating!" Mila-Rose breathed. "I cannot believe that The Seireitei Times would actually print something like this! Somehow I always imagined Tosen's justice speeches times ten." She rolled her eyes.
"Apparently this article isn't written by the usual authors. See? Here it says 'special addition brought to you by the SWA (Shinigami Women's Association). Interested in joining? Call 1-800-JoinSWA today!'" Sun-sun said.
The arrancar didn't know this, but Hisagi Shūhei would never have let those articles get through the printing press. However, Matsumoto 'persuaded' him with her 'assets,' and Nanao tied him up, shoved him in a closet, and took charge of the printing themselves.
"What's the big deal?" Apache snapped. "You gonna call that number?"
"I was just thinking. What if we had our own organization? We could call it... the AWA! The Arrancar Women's Association! We could take charge, like the shinigami women did!" Sun-sun grinned dreamily, a rarity for her.
"Nice idea, but we need members." Apache said, determined to crush Sun-sun's dream.
"You just leave that up to me..."
-x- Two weeks later... -x-
The Arrancar Women's Association Members
President: Nel {chibi}
Vice-President: Sun-sun
Chairpeople: Halibel
Lilinette
Mila-Rose
Apache
Loly
Menoly
"I call da first meeting of the Arranfar Womensh Asso-shiation to order!" Nel yelled happily.
"Translation: 'I call the first meeting of the Arrancar Women's Association to order,'" Sun-sun added.
"Sho what business do we hafe today?"
"Translation: 'So what business do we have today?'"
The six chairpeople looked at each other, the same questions in their eyes. Gee? How should we know what business we have today? You two are the ones that called us here! And why is Nel the president?
"Can we go?" Apache asked.
"NO NO NO! WE NEED TO RAISHE FUNDS! WE DUN HAVE ANY MONEY, DON'T CHA KNOW?"
Loly groaned. "What do you want us to do? It's not like we get paid or anything."
Sun-sun answered, "we will sell things like pottery, or drawings, or poetry written on pretty paper."
"So our business today is to operate a fund-raiser?" Halibel raised an eyebrow. "It will never work."
"Ah, but lucky for yoooh I took these human things from Itsygo!!" Nel brought out a giant bag of random human items. "We will shell these! Yooh better make money, everyone!"
Slowly, the eight arrancar divided up the items and went to sell them, the majority mumbling and complaining.
Halibel:
"Barragan?" she asked, walking into his room.
"Yes?" he replied, turning around slowly from where he sat.
She thrust a pair of fuzzy bunny slippers and a hello-kitty bag into his hands. "Now, give me money."
"Why should I?"
"Because you just bought these things off of me!"
"But unfortunately, I have no money, and nor does anyone else." He almost chuckled. "What did you think we were? Shinigami?"
"No, no. My bad. You can keep the slippers and the bag."
"Thank you?"
Lilinette:
"Staaaaaaark!" she cried, stuffing an ice cube down his shirt.
"Umph, what was that for? I was sleeping!"
"Sleeping, eh? Then you'll LOVE this!" Lilinette held out two pillows. "These lovely pillows, designed for sleep, giving you perfect dreams. These are hand-stuffed with swan feathers from swans fed only the finest rice—" She was interrupted by Stark snatching the two pillows—one green and one yellow—from her hands.
"Soooo... comfortable..." he said, snoring.
"WAIT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR THOSE!" Lilinette screamed. "DON'T JUST FALL ASLEEP ON ME! THAT'S WORTH AT LEAST 25 BUCKS EACH!"
But it was pointless; Stark was asleep and there was no chance of waking him up without a bullhorn. On the pro side, at least Nel didn't lie about the pillows. Stark seemed to be having perfect dreams.
"Tea? Why thank you, Mr. President. Yes, it's an honor to meet you too."
Mila-Rose and Apache:
"Let's sell it to Halibel-sama!" Mila-Rose suggested.
"She's supposed to be selling stuff too."
"The more the merrier!"
"Say, what did Halibel-sama do with hers?" Apache asked.
"Hmm..." The two arrancar walked around Las Noches and came across a disturbing sight indeed—Gin wrestling with Barragan over a Hello-Kitty bag and bunny slippers.
"That must be what she did," Mila-Rose commented.
"Brilliant. OY, GIN-SAMA!" Apache held up a Barbie notebook and grabbed Mila-Rose's Hello-Kitty calendar. "WANT THESE?"
Shinso pierced through the rings of the notebook and the calendar. "Drop them and no one gets hurt," Gin said with his eyes opened. The two arrancar ladies gulped nervously.
"Yeah, sure. Whatever!" Apache cried, running away.
"Merry Christmas!" Mila-Rose chimed in.
Loly and Menoly:
"Aizen-sama! This is for you!" Loly whispered.
"Thank you very much?" Aizen looked puzzled by what he was given—a book titled 25 Ways to Style your Hair and a curler.
Menoly nudged Loly in the sides. "We were supposed to sell those, not give them as gifts."
"Oh, come on. The president is NEL, for Las Noches' sake. What's she going to do? Drool on us?"
"Good point. So, Aizen-sama, did you like your gifts?"
"They are, er, they are..." Aizen searched his sarcastic mind for something witty. "They are very unique."
"Menoly! Did you hear that? Our gifts were unique!" The two girls left Aizen's chamber, squealing delightedly.
Aizen sighed. Oh well, didn't really matter. He tossed the book and the curler aside. They did my Christmas shopping for me then. Gin'll just love the curler, and I'm sure Tousen will love a book he won't be able to read.
Nel's wrath and Aizen's fury:
"WHAT DO YOOH MEAN YOU DIDN'T SHELL ANYTHING?"
"Just that. We don't have money here, you know," Sun-sun replied calmly.
"Oh well. That's okay. I shold enough sho there'sh money for everyone!"
"Translation: I sold enough so there's money for everyone. But where did you get the money?"
Nel ignored her. "LET'SH GO SHOPPING, EVERYONE!"
The members of the AWA let out a cheer—finally, Nel did SOMETHING right. So off to the world of the living they went, buying jewelry, makeup, and clothes. Lots and lots of clothes. But when they returned, Aizen wasn't too happy.
"Where were you?"
"Shopping!" Nel squealed.
"How did you get the money?"
"I shold a shiny ball!"
"YOU SOLD MY HOGYOKU?" Aizen fainted.
Meanwhile, in the world of the living…
"Rukia! Did you steal my sisters' pillows?" Ichigo asked.
"No. Why would I? Hey, do you think I bought the real Hogyoku?" Rukia rolled the small object over and over in her hands.
"Nah, it's probably just a fake."
"It has a high reiatsu, though. I doubt humans know how to create toys like these."
"I bet Urahara's working with them," Ichigo said darkly. "Here. Lemme throw it away for you." So he took it and threw it into the starry night. To this day, no one knows that Aizen does not have the Hogyoku...
Yes, I know, Nel's baby talk was a little annoying. Please R&R!