Author's note: This one's based off of Shinigami's Cup 73, where Hisagi and Kira are 'dying.' The chapter's OOC and kinda short, but you'll still love it.

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Bleach, but I do own a tiny room in Las Noches where Aizen forces me to write these stories... -sob- And they serve nothing but what Orihime's cooking... please... save... me... from... leeks... and... frosting...

Chapter Five: Best Friends, Ulqi-chan and Grimmy-chan

"No, no, I can't die yet!" Grimmjow shouted in agony. "There's still so much I want to do... I DON'T WANNA DIE YET!" The sixth Espada broke down and began to sob.

"Calm down," Ulquiorra spat, a tone of disgust creeping into his voice.

"HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN I'M ABOUT TO DIE? HOLD ME, ULQUIORRA-CHAN!"

"When did I become Ulquiorra-chan? Shut up, you won't die." And I will NOT hold you. "It's just stomach sickness. Get over it."

"YES I WILL, YES I WILL DIE! I'M SORRY, ULQUIORRA! THERE'S SO MUCH I WANNA DO, SO I WON'T DIE UNTIL I TELL YOU THAT..."

"That you are a loser?" Ulquiorra interrupted. "That you are a Gillian? Or maybe that you're secretly in love with Kurotsuchi Nemu?"

"No! I wanted to tell you that I've always admired you and if I survive I hope we can be best friends! Oh yeah, and I'm sorry for always insulting you and picking fights because I know you're a higher position than me but I can't accept that so I'm sorry, Ulqi-chan!" With these words, Grimmjow collapsed.

Ulquiorra pinched himself. Okay, so it's not a horrible nightmare. Oh well, it was close enough. But why would Grimmjow act like this? 1. Aizen had hypnotized him. 2. Grimmjow had FINALLY lost his mind, assuming he had one in the first place. 3. Grimmjow was telling the truth. Okay, the third possibility was completely untrue, and it was doubtful that Aizen would spend any time on someone like Grimmjow when he was too busy searching for the Hogyoku, so Ulquiorra assume that #2 was true—Grimmjow had lost his mind.

So he was going to find some 'nice' men with big needles (in other words, to find Gin and Luppi) when he noticed what was on Grimmjow's bedside table—a large thermos of soup that smelled vaguely of fried vegetables and sweet bean paste. Disgusting, Ulquiorra thought. How could Grimmjow have eaten this?

He picked it up and noticed a note stuck to the side:

Hello, Grimmy-chan, Ulqi-chan! This soup's for you, it's my own recipe! If you like it, I'll get you more! xoxo Inoue Orihime.

"I guess this is what gave Grimmjow the stomachache," Ulquiorra said. "What did Inoue put into this? It must have brainwashed Grimmjow." He left and disposed of the soup, thinking: Of course, it wouldn't be that hard to brainwash Grimmjow—he doesn't have much of a brain, now does he?

What did Orihime use to cook with? Ulquiorra shuddered at the thought. Who would want to drink that stuff? The scent was strong enough... Oh. No.

"Hi, Ginny-chan," Ulquiorra said happily, skipping into Gin's chamber. "Do you still have that Hello-Kitty journal?"

"Yeah, why?" Gin asked nervously. Was Ulquiorra SMILING?

"'CUZ IT'S MINE!" Ulquiorra shouted as he grabbed Gin's hair.

Okay, that was short but I think it's funny. Who knew what Orihime's cooking does to you? It makes you act REALLY weird, now doesn't it? Who knows what's in Orihime's cooking? Who really wants to know? Please R&R~!

Next time in Hueco Mundo BOWL:

It's snowing. It's not supposed to snow in the desert, but it's snowing now. A somewhat more serious piece with less humor dealing with Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, and Ichigo's thoughts and feelings. Note: This was written on a whim so I won't be surprised if you don't like it; but I think there should be SOMETHING serious in here, because some Shinigami's Cups are serious.