Bleh, sorry for the late update, everyone. Please R&R, and if you don't celebrate thanksgiving... I'm sorry, because unless Orihime is doing the cooking, you get to eat a lot of good food.

Hueco Mundo Bowl 8: Aizen's Thanksgiving

It was the first Thanksgiving in Hueco Mundo, and Aizen was hating every single minute of it.

Some people have normal Thanksgivings, he realized as he stared sadly at the hollow turkey. I get a hollow Thanksgiving. Ha, 'hollow.' Get it? I'm so clever.

"Isn't there any normal food?" Gin complained. Aizen glared at him to shut up.

"Well," Szayel said importantly, pushing his glasses higher on his nose. "I do have something you might enjoy, Ichimaru."

"What?"

Szayel headed to his laboratories and came back several minutes later carrying a large platter with what looked like two normal turkeys. Of course, because he was Szayel Aporro Granz, no one really trusted what he was offering to them.

"Did ya poison this?" Gin asked suspiciously, poking one of the turkeys with a fork.

"Of course not!" Szayel replied, acting shocked. "Dig in!"

As the various arrancars and shinigami were enjoying the turkeys and mashed hollow bones, Szayel added under his breath: "Of course, just because I didn't poison it doesn't mean it won't come alive and eat you from the inside..."

"Wha di' yooh shay?" Aizen asked with his mouth full. He swallowed. "That's funny. Why does it feel like there's something moving in my stomach?"

Szayel shrugged innocently. "I dunno. But it couldn't be that the turkeys are coming alive and eating you from the inside... no, that would be impossible."

With those words, every single one of them spat out what they were eating.

"You dirty, lying, evil, crazy..." Grimmjow hissed.

The eighth espada fluffed his hair. "Why, thank you. I am evil and crazy, but I'm not dirty. I just shampooed."

The rest of the arrancars were getting ready to kill Szayel, but Aizen called for them to stop.

"Don't kill him yet."

"Why not, Aizen-sama?" Ulquiorra asked. He held the carving knife to Szayel's neck.

"Because if you just kill him like that, it's no fun. No, you need to make him suffer," Aizen said matter-of-factly. He then pulled a chain saw out of nowhere. "This is much better."

"Have mercy, Aizen-sama!" Szayel sobbed. "I have an antidote."

The arrancars let him go and ate the antidote—cranberry sauce with glue. There was still a turkey left, and Aizen knew just what to do with it...

-x-

"Happy Thanksgiving, sir!" A disguised Ulquiorra handed Ichigo a large turkey. "As the 1000th person to walk past me today, you get a free turkey!"

"Erm, thanks?" Ichigo shook his head and headed to Orihime's house, where Rukia, Ishida, and Chad were studying.

"Here, Inoue," he said, handing her the turkey. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Ooh, thank you, Kurosaki-kun! Wait here, I'll make us all a yummy dinner!"

The turkey, which had been cooked by Szayel, tasted horrible already. After Orihime had worked her magic onto the dish, it actually tasted... pretty decent.

"What's in this, Inoue?" Ichigo asked.

"Hmm, there's the turkey. And cranberry sauce. And marshmallows with butter. Oh, and I added popcorn and licorice."

Chad and Ishida stared at their plate. Was there something moving in their stomachs?

-x-

Back in Hueco Mundo, Aizen and his henchmen were having a hard time talking. And no wonder—the antidote had glued their mouths shut.

I'm hungry, Aizen thought. I wonder who's playing in the Super Bowl? Hehe, 'Bowl...' why does that sound so ironic?