A/N: Chapter: Unsure

Recently I've been working a lot on my original stories, but I'm determined to keep this one alive! For those who have DA, it's also up there under the username CheekyXth with some lame pictures and all (as well as some of the original things xD ) I thank everyone who reviewed, I read every one of them carefully and was very flattered…you're all very sweet. .hack seems to have a very small fanfiction fandom, so it tends to mean a lot more getting reviews on .hack fanfiction. xD

Well, I hope this is entertaining the Ovaseo fans all the same.

This chapter has vague hints of volume three in it. If you've played it through you'll be able to pick up better on what Ovan's lines. No completely blunt spoilers, but hinted things about Ovan's back story and future plans.

Enjoy.

SELFISH

The field he chose was wide and rainy, with no background music to lighten up the atmosphere other than the steady downpour of fake droplets smacking the ground. He had only been in a party with Ovan once in the past, back when the Twilight Brigade was still moving, and that had been with Shino beside them. At the time, he hadn't really been looking at them – just the monsters, the possible threat of PKers. Now, alone in the quiet rain, it was obvious how strange they looked together, especially in terms of height.

Ovan's blue hair didn't stick out as much as he thought it would in the game field. The rain seemed to keep everything in the right hue so as he didn't look so out of place as he normally did. His silver armored arm glittered slightly against the downpour, though he didn't seem to be nearly as wet as he should have been under all that water.

Haseo glanced down at himself and wished suddenly that he had made his avatar about ten inches taller.

He stood there for a while, not looking up into his face, watching the monsters though the fog, circling in the distance. "Well?" he said at last, the promise of information still on his mind.

"Are you not going to fight?" there was a touch of amusement in his voice.

"Why? You'd just wipe them out in an instant, wouldn't you?" Haseo commented bitterly.

"It will be pointless for me to fight. You're the one who has vowed to become stronger."

"You wanted me to, I never vowed." he spat in return, and when Ovan didn't answer, he sighed; "fine, then. Watch my back." And headed toward the nearest monster.

It occurred to him, running, that Ovan probably didn't have much for speed on his side, but before he could look or think up a snide comment he had already collided stupidly with the first monster; a regular machine type with steam bubbling out of it's faceless body. He quickly changed to his broadsword, switching his stance (heavy! his mind cried, as it always did whenever he had to wield that large weapon in comparison to the other, significantly lighter ones) and thrust the Centipede into the monster's belly.

It's health dropped barely an inch. Frustrated, Haseo began to grope for his learned skills and threw them at the monsters one right after the other, ignoring his draining SP. It was a simple fight, nothing that would last long, but it pissed him off, to know Ovan was just sitting there watching him and judging.

"Shell Breaker!" he screamed, far more viciously than he had when partied with Atoli or Silabus, and the last of the machines fell to the ground and faded away systematically.

Haseo stared at the place where they had stood, breathing heavily, irked by the feel of eyes on his back. He ignored the tiny pinging noises that indicated he had won some unimportant amount of gold and probably another piece of useless armor, and hoisted the weapon over his shoulder and into light and nothingness.

He checked his health and saw with another pang of frustration that it was almost halfway down already. But before he could fish out a potion there was a somewhat smugly whispered 'repth' from behind him, and the tiny bar of green jumped back up to full health. His slight panting fell back into regular, even breathes.

"…thanks." he said with a contradicting glare.

"What sort of lover would I be, if I let you get taken down?"

"Lover is past tense." Haseo said, grinding his teeth. "for someone who's already involved."

"Oh? You're right, it is." An unreadable smile. "My mistake." he articulated softly.

Haseo felt his hands ball into fists. Don't get angry…he told himself. Don't get angry….

Ovan smiled in a manner that he knew immediately meant there was more on his mind than just monsters and probably something more serious than a goddamn wedding for once, and suddenly he wished he hadn't taken Ovan's request and come out here after all. It was a little disturbing, to wonder just what the information he had promised might be…

..but no, he had to have it. Any piece of information was worth doing anything for, and this was easy compared to what they had gone through to get a few clues in the past.

"Come on." he muttered, hoping the amount of experience gained had pleased him enough – him, with his hunger for strength all the time. If he wanted strength, why didn't he just level up himself? It was all so…

….irritating…

"Here's a nice place." Ovan said pleasantly, and Haseo jumped a little, half-expecting his voice to have matched his mysterious eyes this time. There was a rough rock slope connected to a very small hill that didn't seem to have a path upward connected to it. He stopped by the edge and waited for Haseo to join him.

He trudged over uncertainly. "So?" he said once they were closer. "Talk."

Ovan watched him for a while, and Haseo placed his hands on his hips and did his best to look intimidating under that stare that had made his knees buckle uncomfortably or forced his face away so many times before. He was older now, and stronger, like Ovan said, and he wasn't some little kid, and he wasn't going to leave without hearing what he wanted to hear – something worth while about The World's salvation.

But Ovan was only staring at him - just staring….

"Talk!" Haseo repeated, wanting to stomp his foot down but knowing it would come off as childish if he did.

"How unkind." he sighed, shaking his head softly. His short blue hair waved slightly…and then his face became deadly serious.

"AIDA is something that spreads like a virus and is very hard to pin down. It can take control of people, as you may have already seen…it can also take control of hearts, of consciousness…of will."

He looked down at the ground for a long time, his eyes hidden beneath the glare of his glasses.

"I am not ignorant as to what is going on. But I have my own personal plans for AIDA. They're not perfect, I'm afraid, and there will be…certain people that may be damaged in the process, but it seems to me now that it is the only way."

"People?" Haseo jumped at the word and the way that Ovan said it, but Ovan held up a hand to silence him. "No one who is precious to you." he confirmed, looking grim, and Haseo relaxed – just slightly. He was about to ask who, but Ovan had already continued;

"My personal fight with AIDA is something I'm willing to put my life on the line for. I am different from your guild, Raven, and your Epitaph users who follow orders and obey...but I am on your side, Haseo."

He looked up again. His eyes seemed to have changed…and yet, they were the same, that navy color that was probably distorted by those damn glasses.

He narrowed his eyes. "What did you want to tell me? Just about yourself?"

"Time is running out." Ovan noted calmly. "There are people who are very important to us…who need our help."

Shino's face flashed into his mind, in a backdrop against all the other colorful faces he had met in his second time playing, and he cringed slightly, knowing how very true those words were.

"In the long run…" Ovan said, "It seems that the people who are fighting – we the players, ourselves…we forget who we are. We are forgetting that we are human beings with families and hearts."

"You sound like you've gotten softer." Haseo said, untrusting.

Ovan ignored the comment without so much as a smile. "You will not stop fighting, is that right?"

"Never." he swore. "To get Shino back…"

"And I will not ignore it as well. But because of the level of danger involved…there are things I want to get aside first. Sort of like a last will and testament, if you'd like."

Haseo blinked. Last will? He was talking as if he was….

"I have already written out to Shino everything I'd like her to know." he said. "But you are still here. That is why….it is so important that I tell you these things now."

Haseo looked down at the ground, at his fake boots against the fake grass and suddenly a flare of rebellion sparked into him. He never knew what this man was talking about…there was so much he wanted to just wring out of the bastard, there was so much he wanted to understand, but he couldn't, and it wasn't going to be easy, just this by itself – getting some information about AIDA, about the plans in store for it. And then….

"Don't make me repeat myself."

Ovan gave him a questioning look.

"You're a good liar." Haseo said, smiling a little in spite of himself. "And you still speak in riddles. Spit it the hell out, okay?"

"I might not have much more time to talk with you like this. Otherwise I would have no other reason…"

"It's not like you're going to die." Haseo pointed out sharply, and his stomach twisted strangely as he said it.

Ovan was quiet. For a moment he thought he saw a brief flicker of something behind those concealing glasses. "No, of course not." he said at last, and Haseo wondered if it was just his imagination. "But there are risks. I wanted you to understand all of that before this was all over. While I still had a chance to tell you." he finished with surprising honestly in his tone.

"…..you're not…" Last will? Time is running out? "…you're not being yourself…"

He didn't look into his eyes this time – he didn't want to see what sort of expression might be there. "If you would act like a normal human being…maybe..!"

Maybe…?

"Ovan!" he cried at last, making a desperate gesture with both hands. "What is this all about? All of this! What are you trying to – "

"Haseo…."

Fury pounded through his veins – he had had enough, after months of this, after months of cryptic messages and sideways smiles…he thought he knew him, but every time he thought he had it down something changed and he was back to square one, feeling annoyed and betrayed and utterly exhausted.

He wanted, he realized with sudden, fierce clarity, somebody to lean against. He wanted somebody to take it all out on. He wanted…

And then there were two warm hands enveloping his, and was resisting the instinctual urge to pull away.

"Marry me." Ovan breathed again. Haseo laughed coldly – how many times had he asked now? I should start keeping count, he thought.

"It would all be a fake." he said at last. "The wedding. So why are you…"

"It would be real to us." he pointed out calmly.

"It's all crap, it's just role play!"

"It's not if you're being honest."

Honest? "As if you've ever been honest." he spat. "How many times have you been honest in your entire goddamn life?"

"I'm being honest now…" He leaned down to kiss the back of his hand. It was so feather light, Haseo barely felt it, but he did see the way his eyes closed behind his glasses and his blue hair swayed slightly as he bowed his head. "Are you honest, Haseo? With yourself? With me?"

"You're not…" The scene mesmerized him, the fact that he had never expected something like this, that it all was being presented before him like moving film. "…fooling anyone…." he stammered out finally…

Ovan stood up slowly, still holding his hands, and Haseo felt an odd chill run down his spine. And then; without warning, the thoughts began to spin through his head, disconnected and surreal:

I hate….them

I hate them for having someone to lean on.

I hate them for leaning on me.

I hate them for never…..

(For never….?)

He took a step forward, swayed a little, and then leaned his forehead on Ovan's left shoulder. The light fabric there was cool against his skin. It was alien, the feeling, as if he was going to fall backward or fall straight through, and he realized at once that he had never done this to anyone before.

Shino flashed into his mind again, but this time he was remembering them at the waterfalls, of her standing so close to him, and then falling forward a little, her head against his chest. A tiny spark of something

( something? )

hit him, and he was angry again, so angry he could fist his fingers into the fabric of Ovan's sleeves and scream until his throat was raw.

It's not fair….!

"Who do you lean on, Ovan?" he muttered dully, his face hot with so many different emotions that he wasn't quite sure which one to dwell on first. "When you're thinking about all this crap?"

"Nobody." he muttered, and Haseo felt the older man's hand cover the back of his head comfortingly. "Nobody, yet."

"I hate you…" he whispered, feeling that all-too-familiar blush returning.

"Really, now…."

He nodded, then shivered a little. But I hate myself. he thought briefly, for even leaning on you in the first place. "Does this…make this consensual?"

"Does it?"

"Because then I get to break it off, right? If I say I'm breaking it off, you have to.." he trailed off, the odd feeling in his stomach growing and fading in random, throwing off his words. "It's can be temporary, right?" he said.

"Temporary?" Ovan repeated patiently.

"Just this once. To lean on you."

He looked up, tilting his head back to see Ovan's face, and Ovan smiled somewhat wolfishly. "You're a selfish little thing." he said.

"…heh." Haseo muttered, and then Ovan bent down to bring their eyes to the same level.

It wasn't really a kiss, just a breathy sort of thing, like a ritual, hovering. Haseo stood perfectly still, feeling his heart beating loudly, thinking with determination; this is just a game, it's just a game. Stop worrying, it's just his stupid game, it doesn't mean…

( that he's a free shoulder… )

Their lips met. He hardly noticed it, so deep in his swirling thoughts, but once Ovan's hands found his waist he realized what was happening and couldn't help but be a little surprised in spite of the fact that he was the one who had leaned in first. It was strange, not sweet, not harsh, just strange, and -

The hands on his waist tightened suddenly, and without warning Ovan was leaning against him, his fingers tightening in the material of his outfit. His fingers found his scarf and tugged at it viciously, mind racing, what the hell?

"-mmph!"

It was bizarre, somehow incredible, this thing, and it didn't feel like kissing anymore, it felt like being devoured, but there was a vicious sort of pleasure in being kissed and not being the kisser, and he didn't push away because there was nothing else to do but not push away, to try and bring his fingers past that stupid scarf and find his shoulders and hold on.

And then Ovan pulled away, licking his lips stealthily. "That's enough for today, don't you think?" he whispered gently.

Haseo looked up at him, stunned into silence.

"Bastard." he managed at last, and then he trailed off, unsure of what else to say.

"Hmm." was Ovan's response. "Your friends will be worried about you." He held out his hand, and Haseo jumped for a moment, half-expecting him to try something. Then, staring at his outstretched fingers (those odd wrapped gloves, dark blue, not soft at all…) and found himself taking it grudgingly.

"…tch."

Ovan pulled him to his feet gently. And just as their faces passed, he whispered into his ear; "It's weak, actually, but human…conflicting mirrors of hope and despair."

"….what?" Haseo said, looking at him in surprise.

"That's," Ovan said, his eyes dark and grim, "what 'AIDA' is."