Camera 13: Focused on Aizen sitting in his throne. He is talking to the camera and enjoying it.

What's up, everyone? This is Aizen Sosuke, a.k.a. AIZEN-SAMA here writing this week's installment of Hueco Mundo Bowl. Before you guys ask me some stupid question like "Dude, what are you doing here?" or "Hey, where's our regular author?" let me just explain this to you: I am evil. I need publicity. So I kidnapped Miss Opal and took her to Las Noches, where she is happily having a sleepover with Inoue Orihime. That sounds fun, doesn't it? Then I'll talk about MYSELF and you guys will be forced to read. Muahahahaha!

Aizen turns around and directs the camera towards a blank wall. Anguished screams can be heard.

"C'mon, let's paint our nails and do our hair, and pick out each other's outfits!" came Orihime's high pitched voice.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Kill me! Kill me!" Opal cried, banging on the walls.

Camera 13 is directed back towards Aizen. He coughs and begins to talk again.

So, erm, anyways, I'll be writing this week's Hueco Mundo Bowl. Actually I'll be talking, but I've programmed a computer to take down every single word of my brilliant genius. So, shall we get started?

Camera 13: Pointed towards the computer. A key is held up so that it will be easier for the simple minded reader to follow.

Italics=people talking from the background.

Italics+underline=camera's actions and what it picks up.

Plain text=Aizen talking.

Bold=Aizen's key points.

Hueco Mundo Bowl 15: Aizen's Life Lessons

1. Wikipedia has all the answers to life.

I am NOT joking with this. Haven't you guys ever wondered how I managed to make my evil master plan and know that the hogyoku was in Rukia's gigai? Wikipedia. How did I know my plan would work? Wikipedia. I'm serious. They even have a whole biography about me on that! I must be famous! Let's move on to point #2.

2. The next time you want to commence word domination, pick some less creepy sidekicks.

This may not seem very important, but it is. See, this is where I made a mistake. Why the heck did I pick people like Luppi and Afro-dude to be my subordinates? I'm almost glad that they were killed. Camera 13: Aizen sighs and puts his head in his hands. Yeah, we've all gotta learn, right? Next~!

3. When you want to kidnap someone to make your master plan work, DO NOT PICK INOUE ORIHIME!

God, that girl can whine. Microphone 14: "Opal! You're being mean!" "Will you shut up, Orihime!" "Kurosaki-kun will come rescue me! Then you'll pay!"Yeah, get the point? She's really annoying, isn't she? Now I'll move on before she comes over here and whines my ear off.

4. Pie is good.

It is, isn't it?

5. Never ask Tousen's advice when redecorating.

Someone (*Cough* Gin) asked me why Las Noches was so plain. Well, I'm a busy evil genius, so I asked Tousen to help me pick color swatches and plan out the furniture. He picked something randomly and it turned out to be white. Camera 13: Aizen is now holding a bucket of paint. His expression is suggesting that he would like to dump it on Tousen. Hey, camera, stop pointing at me! Moving on to lesson #6...

6. Don't pick Hueco Mundo as a place to vacation.

Ah, yes, I remember my first summer away from the shinigami academy. I came here because they told me "white sand, beautiful nights... you'll love vacationing here in Ueco-Hay Undo-May!" Don't listen to those travel agents.

7. The most annoying word in existence is "Itsygo!"

After hearing that green-haired brat scream that so many times through my various camera and microphones, I'm seriously considering therapy. Hmm, do you think Starky-chan has room for one more?

8. The Menos Grandes like to eat toilet paper.

Hey, who knew? All I had to do was steal them some rolls from Yama-jii and now they're on my side! Muahahaha!

9. Best prank ever: Steal Halibel's bras and use them as catapults in a food fight.

I pwned them all with my ginormous catapult. Muahahaha! Camera 13: Aizen is coughing and appears to be choking. Okay, enough evil laughter.

10: Sunrooms are a MUST for any living establishment.

I need to tan! Do you know what living in a place with 24 hour darkness will do to your skin? Yeah, I'm done...

Camera 13: Opal has escaped Orihime's rooms. She is now running towards Aizen with a baseball bat in her hands.

"What's she doing?" Aizen said out loud.

Camera 13: Opal slammed the baseball bat on Aizen's head. Oh, guess it was made out of foam, because Aizen doesn't seem to be hurt.

"That's for making an extremely long Hueco Mundo Bowl!" the authoress screamed. "Now, get lost."

"You will publish this, right?" Aizen asked, giving her the puppy eyes.

"Sure, whatever. Now, who writes all the other Hueco Mundo Bowls from now on?"

"You do," Aizen said meekly.

Camera 13: Opal left the room as Aizen blew a raspberry at her.

End transmission.

Thanks for reading, everyone.

"But you know you guys love me more than Opal, right?" Aizen asked, giving a wink. "Tell me, er, US in a review who you love more~!"