Chapter 15

Kane quickly and quietly led her down the hallway into a secluded dressing room, locking the door behind them. Not to intimidate her, but to make sure they couldn't be attacked by the Ministry. Not without due warning anyways, as they'd now have to break down the steel door somehow. "You and 'Taker." He said bluntly, looking down at her, his odd eyes pleading with her to be honest with him. This was beginning to drive him crazy.

Jaxine blinked at him, her stomach tightening, and slowly shook her head. "Kane no, please...please don't make me relive it." Looking away from him and turning around, Jaxine wrapped her arms around herself, swallowing hard.

She couldn't and she wouldn't. She knew he wouldn't force her. This was something she wanted to lock away deep in the recesses of her mind and never think about again. She wanted to try to have a relationship with Steve, to try to be with him, to try to be happy. She knew she'd never be able to be happy with 'Taker, even though he made her the happiest, when he wasn't being his psychotic, diabolical self.

"Just one thing." He whispered, his voice cracking. "Do you love him?" He hunched down over her. "You can't mislead Steve if your heart is somewhere else." He said softly, deciding he had spoken enough for this year and fell silent again. He didn't want her with the Undertaker, but he also knew the heart didn't work alongside the brain like it should.

"My heart is split in two, Kane." She whispered heartbrokenly, looking up into his mismatched blue eyes, sniffling softly. "He has a half and…your brother has a half. That half is dead though." She was lying again and sighed heavily, sinking down on the couch and put her head in her hands. "How can I be in love with someone like that? He's sick, he's demented, he needs help and he's evil. Steve is sweet, kind and gentle, like you." She smiled when he grimaced. "It's the truth and you know it." She sighed heavily. "I want to try to make this work with Steve...please don't take that away from me."

Kane shook his head no, assuring her he had no such intentions. He just needed to know for his own piece of mind. He was the silent giant, who would he tell this to anyway? The Undertaker? That would be a cold day in hell. Steve? No, they weren't that good of friends, more like acquaintances thrown together, but necessity. He patted her head, his way of telling her things would work out. Providing the Undertaker left her alone long enough for her to sort things through.

Jaxine smiled as she stood on her tiptoes, hugging him around the neck, and kissed his masked cheek before pulling back. "Thank you, Kane. Don't be a stranger now." She patted his chest before walking past him and out of the door, heading back to Steve's locker room. She had some thinking to do and wondered if Steve staying at her place tonight was such a good idea. She needed to be alone, to reflect, but how would she say that without sounding like a total bitch? There was no way.

He leaned against the hallway wall, watching her pass him by, apparently too lost in whatever thoughts she was having to realize he was there. Of course he was still in his street clothes, black jeans and a black leather vest, revealing his broad if somewhat pale chest and BSK tattoo. His hair was pulled back in a tight braid, a black bandana holding it down and his black sunglasses over his green eyes. Around his neck was the necklace he had given her.

She didn't make it very far because the next thing Jaxine knew, she was in a dark dressing room with her back pressed against the wall and could feel hot breath on her ear. She closed her eyes, inhaling the air, and knew who it was just by the scent alone. Not to mention his body structure was completely different from Steve's. She didn't say a word and kept her eyes closed, her arms at her sides, making no attempt to escape because there was no reason too. He would never hurt her and he proved that at his house, when he could've easily done what he wished. She was shocked considering she'd cost him the WWF title and destroyed his motorcycle.

He held her against him, burying his face in her neck. "I can't change." He whispered, whether explaining something or apologizing neither of them could be sure. "Not even for you, love." Taker placed a broad hand on her back gently, just holding her there. He finally began kissing her throat, working up to her lips, needing to feel her against him, he knew she wanted him. He needed to feel that want again.

"I never asked you to change." She whispered back against his lips, breaking the kiss and stared back at him through the darkness, her eyes practically glowing and being the only light. "Please stop tormenting me." She was pleading with him, feeling his forehead press against hers, and cupped his face in her soft hands, her breathing ragged from the kiss. "Undertaker, what do you want?" She asked softly, no hatred in her tone just sorrow. She didn't want him to change, she just wanted him to stop treating her like she was a possession. She was a person, a woman, who wanted to be loved and cherished by a man, not used like a pawn in a chess game.

"You." He sighed. "I want you, but that is impossible." He forced himself to step away from her, running both hands over his head, squeezing the sides of his skull like a man going mad. "It is impossible." He sighed again, staring down at her like he was a man dying of thirst and she was his holy water. "I would hurt you again and again, Jaxine, no matter how great my love for you. It is simply who I am."

"Why do you keep saying that?" She softly asked, walking over and grabbing both of his wrists in her hands, hating to see the torment in his eyes. "Please make me understand, Undertaker..." She stared up into those acid green eyes that looked as tormented as hers, furrowing her brow, and finally cupped his face in her hands. "You do have a heart. I can see it or else you would've done what you wanted to me at your house. You would've let those men rape me that night outside of the bar. You wouldn't care as much as you do now and you wouldn't be battling your demons, fighting what you feel for me. You DO have a heart." She stared at the necklace, fingering it. "This is just more proof of it." She murmured, running her fingertips over it, still holding onto one of his wrists.

"I would fight anyone to protect you, except myself." He whispered, anguish in his green eyes. "I make no allusions when it comes to myself. I would never lay a hand on you myself if enraged, but I would allow a Ministry member to mete out the punishment. Don't you know what I am? Murderer." He kissed the palm of her hand gently. "Liar." Another kiss. "Demon." He whispered, resting his cheek against her palm.

"You could've allowed the Ministry to beat me to a pulp that night at the arena and you didn't." She reminded him softly. "You wouldn't let anyone hurt me, including them. You won't hurt me, you proved it. Why can't you see that? Why can't you see who you really are? You're not any of those things to me, you never were." She ran her thumb across his cheek, sighing gently, hating that he was putting himself down like this. She could never have a guard up when around him, it just didn't happen.

"I don't need to physically harm you to hurt you, Jaxine." He said gravely, the timbre of his tone darkening. "I can mentally and emotionally destroy you." He stared down at her, capturing her thumb between his teeth, drawing it into his mouth, his eyelids drifting shut, a low moan rippling through him.

"Believe me, I know that better than anyone." She whispered, her heart pounding as the sensations coursed through her body, feeling his teeth lightly graze the skin on her finger. "Undertaker..." She breathed out, her eyes drifting shut as well, getting lost in everything he was doing to her, feeling his arm snake around her waist, not releasing her thumb.

He pushed her away with a hiss, his acid green eyes a dark, stormy color. "You must choose." He said finally. "If you are willing to subject yourself to my temper, to me, you must give up Stone Cold and Kane." He knew she loved him and if she was going to discard his warnings, then he would stop giving them.

"Why would I want to be with someone who wants to torment and ridicule me?" She shot back defensively, eyes narrowing slightly. "You keep saying you'll hurt me mentally and emotionally, yet when we're alone, you're nothing like you say. You're a very confusing man, Undertaker. I need to think, I need to question if I want torment and ridicule or sweet and kind." She slowly backed away from him when she seen the flames in his eyes erupt. "If I want evil or good, since you say you can't change. You need to give me time to think about this." She raked a hand through her hair and wrapped her arms around herself, feeling a chill in the room and closed her eyes.

He almost ordered her to decide right there on the spot, but managed to refrain. "So be it." He said in a dangerous tone, storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him so hard it popped off it's hinges. He stalked down the hallway, grunting when he seen Kane coming and frowned when Kane cocked his head, shoving his brother out of his way.

Jaxine had to stand there and get her bearings under control, trembling from head to toe, and finally walked out, heading to Steve's locker room. She walked in, seeing he was gone, probably to the cafeteria or trying to find her. She sighed and rubbed her temples, not knowing what to do. "I need time alone." She whispered, pulling out her notebook and jotted him a note, placing it on the bench before walking out with her bag in hand. She was going home to her apartment that was about ten minutes away from the arena, running out of there like her ass was on fire. She'd called a cab and slid in, telling him the address, and looked back at the arena as a single tear slid down her cheek. "Please don't hate me, Steve..." She whispered heartbrokenly, pressing her forehead to the window.

~!~

"Where the hell is she?" Steve shouted when he spotted the Undertaker, tackling the other man to the floor. "What the fuck did you do with her?"

"Sacrificed her three ways from Sunday." 'Taker hissed, pushing Austin off of him, a cruel smirk on his face. "And she LOVED every minute of it." He let out an oomph when he was speared, beginning to laugh. 'Taker was aware cameras were now rolling, filming their fight and he didn't care. He just pounded on Steve while Steve pounded back, both men verbally taunting each other. "What's the matter, Austin? Jealous that she prefers to explore her dark side?"

"Yer delusional!" Steve snarled, going to knock 'Taker's head off only to be speared himself, only he went through a table.

He stood up, admiring his work. "Mmm... she tastes like strawberries." He added insult to injury, licking his lips. "Must be her lip gloss."

Now Steve KNEW she wore lip gloss and how it tasted.

~!~

Jaxine walked inside her apartment and closed the door behind her, inhaling the air, and smiled as she tossed her purse and bag on the couch, taking her denim jacket off and hung it up on her coat rack. She slid her shoes off and immediately made a beeline for her room, bouncing on her bed and sighed as the peacefulness overtook her. Nobody knew where she lived except Vince and Shane and they would never tell anyone. She snuggled against her pillow and slowly pulled herself from it, needing a nice hot bubble bath with a glass of wine and some music. Standing up, she got to work on accomplishing that.

Jaxine had turned her cell phone completely off, just wanting some time to herself as she sunk into the hot bubble bath, the jasmine scent flowing through the air. She smiled, her entire body sore from head to toe from all the traveling and all the shit she'd been through lately. Her hair was pinned up as she leaned back, suddenly thinking about Steve and 'Taker. 'Taker and Steve. Damn, how did she decide between a heartthrob Texan who wanted to protect her and a man who walked on the dark side that tormented her? She knew the answer should be easy and she knew she should pick Steve, but only half of her heart was agreeing with her.

"I'm screwed." She mumbled, closing her eyes and sipped her strawberry wine.

~!~

The Undertaker was in full Lord of Darkness regalia, overseeing the project of strapping Stone Cold Steve Austin to his symbol, watching in amusement as the other man slowly came too. "Congratulations, Austin. You have officially made it onto the endangered species list. The best part is Jaxine isn't around to barter for your safety."

Steve began cursing, fighting to free himself, ignoring the cameraman who was STILL rolling, this was simply too good to pass up.

~!~

After her hour long bath and three glasses of wine, Jaxine was feeling good and completely relaxed as she walked into her bedroom, changing into a silken white nightgown that went to her mid-thigh, something she wore when she wanted to feel desirable, not to mention she was heated from her hot bath and both kisses from both Steve and 'Taker earlier. She then brushed her hair, staring into her vanity, running her fingers along her neck. She missed Steve already and frowned, contemplating calling him, and stopped. No. She needed a night to herself, to reflect, to figure out what she was going to do. She stood up from her vanity and walked over to her bed, popping a DVD in, and slid into her comfortable bed, instantly falling asleep.

If Jaxine would have watched RAW, she probably would have been violently ill. The entire Ministry of Darkness was on the stage, the Undertaker sitting on a throne, watching as Steve Austin was raised into the air on the Undertaker's symbol, the symbol was on fire. She would have seen the cameras get a close-up of the Undertaker, who had his eyes rolled into the back of his head, chanting evenly, ignoring everything around him, like this was an every day occurrence. Jaxine didn't see it though.