Chapter 22

She walked inside the hotel room, seeing Steve instantly bolt up to check over her, staring at him with such guilt ridden eyes. "Steve, stop it." She whispered, feeling him pull her into his arms, suddenly lashing out and shoved him back to the point where he landed back on the bed. "Stop it!" She shouted, trembling from head to toe, knowing she had to tell him. "I can't do this..."

Steve stared at her, confusion in his baby blue eyes. "Can't do what, honey?" He asked, trying to calm his racing heart. He had been so worried when she hadn't immediately come back. He'd even begun dressing again, wearing just his jeans and a confused expression. "Honey, what're you talkin' bout?" He stood back up, wanting to take her in his arms, but knowing she would be even more upset.

"I can't marry you." She felt the tears spilling down her cheeks and slowly slid her ring from her finger, seeing his blue eyes widening even more. "I'm not good enough for you. I ran into Undertaker and he kissed me..." She couldn't look at him and raked a hand through her hair. "I didn't push him away and I didn't fight. I didn't do anything. I can't be with you because I'm going to end up hurting you. I can't explain this hold he has over me, but it's stronger than what we have. I will never be with him, but I also can't keep running into him while I'm engaged to you. Please, please don't hate me for this." She was right by the door incase he lashed out at her or something to that extent.

Steve could only stare at her, his blue eyes wide, mouth parted ever so slightly, the only indication he wasn't a statue was the way his chest began rising and falling faster and faster. Finally he shook his head, crossing the room to gently, but firmly grab her arms. "You don't mean that, Jaxine." He said softly. "Not after all we been through together, honey. Whatever he's doin' to you, it's a game to him, don't play it with him."

"I'm sorry." She whispered, refusing to look at him to see the pain and heartache there. "I do love you Steve, I really do, but you'll never have all of me, don't you understand? You will never have my whole heart, and you don't deserve that. You deserve a woman who is going to give you her full heart, her full love, her full everything. I'm not her." She slowly pulled out of his grasp and knew she had to leave as she slipped the ring into his open hand. "Give it to someone who deserves it Steve." She walked past him to get her bag and walked back over to the door, putting it over her shoulder. "Please forgive me."

He held his hand against the door, refusing to let her go without a fight. He knew this was nothing more then the Undertaker messing with her head, pulling her into one of his sick mind games where the only winner would be him. Everyone else nothing, but husks of the people they had once been. "Don't do this, Jaxine. You know I love you, and I want to work this out, honey. Don't run away from me, from us."

"Don't you get it?" She started crying, dropping her bag to the floor, the tears scorching her cheeks again. "I love him, Steve! I love you both! You have half of my heart and he has the other one! Do you think I want this? I would give ANYTHING to be able to love you completely and wholeheartedly, but I can't! I can't get him out of my head or my heart! I don't want to break your heart anymore than what I already have! I'm saving you from me, please just let me go!" She closed her eyes, her head lowering, refusing to look into those heartbroken baby blues. "Let me go." She'd said the same thing to Undertaker as she was doing to Steve.

He seen the agony in her eyes and stepped away, hands up, a heartbroken expression on his face. "Fine, if that's what you want." Steve said quietly, slowly dropping back down onto the bed, his elbows on his knees, unable to look at her, looking at the floor. "You know...you might love us both, and ya might be walkin' away from me to save me from heartache, but while yer walkin' away from me you're also walking straight into his arms whether you know it or not."

"No, I'm not walking into anyone's arms. I would hate myself for all eternity if I went to him, Steve." She swallowed hard, seeing his head lowered, and grabbed her bag as she put it over her shoulder. "I love you, please understand I'm only doing what I feel is best for you." She wanted to go to him, to hold him in her arms, but she couldn't.

Instead, she opened the door and walked out into the hallway, the door closing behind her before heading toward the elevator. She had no idea who she could turn to now and felt completely helpless and broken.

Steve sat there, his heart breaking inside his chest and shook his head. He was tempted to go after her, but knew it wouldn't do any good. The woman had a hero complex. She would save anyone she thought needed saving, from heart break to broken bones. "This isn't what's best for either of us." He could only whisper to the empty room, a lone tear sliding down his face.

Jaxine jumped out of her skin when she felt a hand clamp on her shoulder to stop her from taking the stairs, needing to get off this floor that literally shattered her world in a short span of time. She slowly turned around and looked up into the mismatched eyes of Kane, tears spilling down her cheeks. "Kane..." She whispered and wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face in his chest, knowing she could turn to him. Granted he was Undertaker's baby brother, but she knew he couldn't stand him either.

Kane was shocked to see her crying, even more so when he realized she was carrying a bag, wondering why she wasn't with Steve in his room. He felt her crying on him, holding onto him like he was a life preserver and hugged her back. "Come." He said softly, ushering her into his room which was right next to them, bringing her bag.

She walked inside his room and wrapped her arms around herself, looking around the darkened hotel room, knowing that's how Kane preferred it. "Thank you." She whispered softly and walked over to stare out the window, the tears not stopping. "I left him." She stated, feeling the question radiating off of him. "I can't be with someone I can't love fully." Was her explanation as she pressed her forehead to the cool glass.

Kane reflected on that, knowing full well Jaxine had feelings for both Steve and the Undertaker. How she could have feelings for Taker was beyond him. Even though he despised his brother, he didn't hold her feelings against her. He knew how hard it was to betray your own heart. "So what will you do now?" He asked softly.

"I don't know." She whispered softly, knowing there was nothing waiting for her in Chicago, closing her eyes. She couldn't burden this man with her presence, but she also didn't want to leave the WWF. She enjoyed being a valet for the most part, the audience liked her and she loved their cheers. She sighed softly before slowly turning to face him. "What would you do?" She stared into his eyes through the darkness. "Kane, how can I beat the Undertaker? How can I prevail against my own heart?"

Kane appeared shocked, wondering why she was asking him of all people this. Hadn't she seen how weak he was himself? He raked a hand through his long, brown hair, not wearing his mask though the darkness kept his face hidden. "You don't play his game." He said finally. "If you do, he wins regardless. This is his game, Jaxine. Does he...feel the same for you?"

"I don't know." She honestly didn't know as she slowly turned around to stare out the window again, the rain falling and pelting against the glass, wishing she'd never taken that job from Paul. She wouldn't be here in this predicament and she wouldn't be tormenting Kane. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you." She whispered and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"You haven't." He assured her softly, standing up to walk behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Just a comforting gesture, he held no feelings besides the brotherly kind towards her. "If you can't go back to Chicago, you can travel with me." He offered. "I would do my best to protect you." He wouldn't promise her he could because that was something nobody could ever really vow.

She sniffled and slowly placed her hand against his, feeling safe when she was with Kane. He was her gentle giant and nobody would ever change that. "You're like my big brother." She actually laughed, though it was soft and slowly turned around to face him. "We'll protect each other and fight Undertaker tooth and nail." She stated and wrapped her arms around his neck, sighing with relief that she did have someone she could turn too. "Thank you for everything Kane."

Kane nodded, planting a kiss on the top of her head, smiling at her nickname for him. Gentle Giant, she was the only one who ever truly saw him that way. Even his Tori had a hard time reconciling his violent in ring nature with who he truly was. He wondered though, when it came right down to it, if Jaxine would be able to fight the Undertaker at all or would she cave in to her heart's desires and go with him?

~!~

The following night, Jaxine walked into the arena, wearing a long black skirt that had shimmers in it, not enough to blind someone along with a dark red corset top, knowing she was Kane's new valet. Vince had approved it instantly, especially after her and Steve had saved his daughter from Undertaker's wrath. Her black hair was half up and half down, the half up piled on top of her head with knee high boots on that were good for walking and running in. She walked alongside Kane with her bag in hand as they headed to his dressing room.

Kane ignored the curious looks they got, most people aware Jaxine had started out in the WWF as his valet originally. Though he knew they wondered why she wasn't with her fiancée. He nodded when he seen Tori, gesturing to her that they would talk later.

Jaxine felt at home at being Kane's valet and was actually smiling because there was no Paul Bearer this time around poisoning his mind. She walked over to the steel folding chair and sat down, looking around the dressing room, and sighed gently. Kane had a match against X-Pac tonight and Jaxine was ready for absolutely anything, including questions regarding her and Steve's sudden split or the rumors that she was sleeping around the WWF locker room because that wasn't the case. She'd slept with one man and that was Steve.

Kane shuffled about the room, not looking forward to this match. He had trusted X-Pac, protected the smaller man only to be betrayed by him. He had considered the man his best friend, now he had to destroy him. "You alright?" He asked suddenly, looking down at her, in the process of slipping on his black leather glove.

"Yeah." She answered for the umpteenth time that night, knowing Kane was worried sick about her, and honestly didn't blame him. Jaxine had been put through the ringer, she'd be the first to deny it though. She stood up and walked over to the mirror, checking her black eyeliner that outlined her amber orbs, bringing them out against her pale skin along with her red lipstick that was the same color as her top. "Are you ready for your match tonight?"

"No." He said honestly. "I don't want to hurt him, but I will anyway." He couldn't help that fact. He was a different person when he was inside the ring. "Are you ready for my match?" He asked back, knowing if the Undertaker was still intent on screwing with her, he'd be making a guest appearance.

"Yes, I'll be ready if and when he appears." She knew exactly what he was thinking and sighed when a tap sounded at the door, their cue that it was time to head down to gorilla position. She walked out of the door with Kane following her as they headed down the hallway, her mouth one grim fine line, having nothing to smile about these days. Though she was glad that she had Kane to turn too, knowing he would never betray her.