Thank you once again williewildcat! ;) I do hope that you recover from your stomach flu soon. *huggles*

Thank you sadie e a! It's much appreciated that you like it so far! :D

And thank you poplar-kat!! I too love Castiel and think he's adorable. And I'm not a fan of Ruby at all, so you don't have to apologize for your comment!! ;) I did see the last epi of SPN (and loved it - it's my fave!!) - but the look on Ruby's face after she cut her arm ... *shudders*

Here's the next update - I hope you like!

CHAPTER FOUR.

I sat alone in my motel room, feeling more tired than I had been in a long time. More and more often lately I felt as though I was fighting a losing battle against an enemy I didn't know, couldn't name and didn't know how to fight. I felt like my life as it stood now was a lie and I wanted out.

I lay down upon the bed, and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come, but Cas came instead, with a flutter of wings and a calming presence beside me.

I sat up and turned to him, wrapping my arms around him and pressing my lips to his in a soft kiss. I felt his arms around me as he responded, his wings enfolding me also, like the softest of security blankets, and I'd never felt so protected in my life, as I felt right then.

"Why do you feel so sad, Jen?" he asked, head tilted to one side in an innocent gesture that never made me feel anything less than protective of him.

"I feel like today could have gone so much better than it did. I am tired because I feel like I am living a lie, and I want some answers," I said, wearily. "I feel like I am getting too old for this!"

Castiel gave me one of his mysterious little smiles as he gazed upon me with large and soulful eyes, before he said - "You will get your answers, maybe sooner than you will think! You just have to be strong and remain faithful! Do you have faith?"

"I have faith in you!" I replied.

Castiel nodded, a small pleased smile touching his lips at that, before he spoke again.

"Keep an eye on Sam Winchester, Jen. I already told Dean to do this, but I think that Dean is too close to his brother to look out for him the way I need him to. It needs someone more impartial to him, who does not have the familial ties that Dean has to do the job. You have to stop Sam from using his powers at all costs. God commanded it, and so it shall be done!" he said, dropping his perfect gaze slightly.

"I will try," I promised him. "I can promise you that!"

Castiel raised his eyes once again, before saying - "You have not failed me yet, nor will you fail me. I have faith in you!"

I smiled at that, uncertain as to what to say to him, my angel. No words could stand up to his faith, his implicit trust he had placed in me, and I hoped I could do something to warrant that faith.

Then I said - "Help me get to sleep, Cas!"

Cas smiled again, as though he was aware of my internal struggle, and maybe he was, before he gave me one of his slow nods again.

He leant forward and kissed me gently, softly, on the lips, tasting of chocolate, warmth and love, before pushing me down upon the bed, sliding one hand down my side, one wing tip following slowly. I shivered in pleasure at the contact, which Cas took as the good sign that it was. He pulled back from me, to remove his coat, then his tie, eyes never leaving mine, looking so soulful right then, I couldn't breathe. The man was so beautiful, it did take my breath away at times, and the angel inside drew me like no other before him, held me a willing captive.

I sat up again, to remove my top, my bra, hissing slightly as the chill air hit my bare skin raising goose bumps. I ignored them, raising up slightly to pull off my pants, then my panties and watching as Castiel fastidiously removed his own pants and boxers. I reached out for him, running a hand down his chest as he got onto the bed beside me, before he cupped a breast, rolling a nipple between gentle finger tips as he kissed me, tongue sliding in through half parted lips, and exploring my mouth slowly.

I laced fingers in his hair, responding to his touch, his kiss, loving the way he felt and made me feel, tightening up and moaning into his mouth, as he gently guided me onto my back. I willingly went, inhaling sharply as he parted my legs a little more, to give him a better angle as he positioned himself over me, hard cock pressing against me, and I ached for him, feeling myself grow wet for him, wanting him inside me once again, like so many times before.

I cried out in pleasure when he thrust himself hard inside me, clutching at his body as I tightened around his shaft, and he murmured in pleasure at my response to him. He closed his eyes and he smiled, before thrusting himself into me again, trying to find a rhythm which we both could match, dialling up the pace when it was found.

I held onto him, urging him to go harder, and he complied, thrusting roughly into me to the point of almost pain, which felt so good, so right. I could feel his pleasure pulsing through me, through the link we shared, and he felt so blissful, so peaceful in the contact, I felt elated. I knew he could feel my own pleasure, my love for him and I could feel how much it warmed him, pleased him.

The beginnings of a climax began pooling in my abdomen, and I welcomed it, giving in to it, letting it roll over me, through me, pushing me into screaming release, as I cried out for Castiel, arching up to meet him with the intensity. It was as if the waves of my orgasm pushed Cas into his own climax, and he shouted out my name, thrusting hard as he spilled out into me, letting his pleasure roll through our link into me, and I came again, more powerfully than the first time, screaming for him once again. I got the brief impression of wings outspread above us as he threw his head back, almost blinding me with angelic light unleashed.

I looked upon him in wonder, revelling in his true beauty, the first time I had ever seen him in all his angelic glory and I wept. I hadn't expected ever to see him, as he truly looked, and he was beautiful. It did not occur to me right then to question why I could now. I touched him, staring into his vessel's face, as the angelic light faded, disappeared, leaving us in lamplight once again, but still the memory of his beauty remained.

Cas leant down and kissed sudden tears away, soothing me with hands and wingtips, and soothing words, before touching my forehead with outstretched fingers, and I fell into a deep sleep almost instantly.

To say I knew no more was a lie.

I dreamt - of a body strewn battlefield, of standing there, Cas on one side, Ariel on the other, all holding flaming swords, as we faced four horsemen on giant steeds. No one was giving ground, yet it seemed as though the battle was turning in our favour, and I held my head high, knowing no fear, only pride, glory, victory....

I did not know how the dream ended for I awoke before it drew to its natural conclusion, opening my eyes to sunlight filtering through the curtains.

"Cas?" I said aloud, propping myself up on one elbow to look about the room for signs of my angel.

Of course Cas wasn't there, but he'd left me a shadowy feather on the pillow beside me. I smiled and picked the feather up, before kissing it gently, breathing in the scent of all that was Castiel, knowing that he could feel me doing it, wherever he was now.

"Cas, I love you!" I murmured, knowing that he could hear me. "Come back safe to me!"

I closed my eyes and smiled when I heard his whispered response, that he loved me too, and that he would.