"Ebony, Ebony!" I shouted. "No, please come back!"
"Whatever! Now you can go and have sex with Vampire!" she shouted. She stormed into her room and closed her black door with her blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. I went to Biology class, which was not a class offered at Hogwarts, but since Ebony arrived, it has been. The teacher was "Loopin," or Goyle on polygenic, as the real Loopin had been fired at the end of my third year for being a werewolf. When I arrived I turned myself into a bloody pentagram and waited for Ebony to arrive so I could kill her somehow. When she did arrive, I turned myself into a black guitar. She thought erroneously that she did the trick.
"Enoby I love you!" I shouted. I guess I could start referring to her with her many nicknames. "I don't care what those preps and posers think. You are most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just want to be with you. I love you!" Of course, it was all fake. Then…I started to sing "The Chronicles of Life and Death" to flatter her even more so she would come with me. I sang it right in front of the entire class! But somehow, even I thought my singing voice was like a cross between Gerard Way, Joel Madden, Chester Bennington, Pierre Bouvier and Marilyn Manson.
"OMFG." she said after I was finished. Some preps stared at us but she just stuck up her middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with mine now) at them. "I love you!" she said and she kissed me (ugh) in a manner that resembled a scene starring Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray in the muggle movie A Cinderella Story. Then we went away. She was holding my hand. Goyle shouted at us but he stopped because everyone was clapping for some reason unknown to me. Then she saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmeade right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went together. In mid-step, she changed her mind.
"WTF, Draco, I'm not going to a concert with you!" she shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR and you know how much I like them."
"What cause we…you know…" I fidgeted uncomfortably because guys like me don't like to talk about you-know-what (i.e. killing).
"Yeah cause we you know!" she yielded in an angry voice. I think she was referring to having sex.
"We won't do that again." I promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."
"OMFG wtf/are you giving into the mainstream?" she asked, giving me a choice in what to interpret what she had said. I have no idea how the two options would sound the same even to a foreigner. "So I guess you are a prep or a Christina or what now?" What does it mean to be a "Christina?" Like Christina Aguilera, a prep? Or do you mean "Christian?"
"NO." I muttered loudly.
"Are you becoming a prep or what?" she shooted angrily. I'm not sure whether she means "shouted" or "shot." maybe it's a portmanteau.
"Enoby! I'm not! Please come with me!" I fell down to my knees and started singing 'The World is Black' by GC to her. She was flattened when a bulletin board fell on her. Now she's five feet tall, a foot wide, and half and inch thick, because that's not even a single. I had memorized the lyrics from being forced to listen to it so often!
"OK then I guess I will have to." she said and then she pressed her lips onto mine, her tongue in my mouth. She went up to her room to meet with Granger. I made my way to the concert venue.
Well anyway I came to the concert with Weasley, who was now referring to himself as diabolo, a muggle juggling toy. The makeup he caked his face in made him resemble Marylin Manson. B'loody Mart (This is a place where you buy blood, for all of you who are deficient.) was going to the concert with Neville Longbottom, who is renamed Dracola, Navel or Dracula. Take your pick. Again, Ebony took her wand and changed his past so it involves this: he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed (their hair?) in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. However, I do not believe that blood traitor has transferred to Slytherin.
We all went into the Mercy-Bens car that Ebony provided me with, even though she said it was a gift from somebody named Lucian. She claimed that this Lucian was my dad, but that it not true. Firstly, his name is Lucius. Secondly, he would never touch any muggle necessities. Like last time, Ebony forced pots, coke, and crak (whatever that is) into our mouths. Her lips also flew onto mine for the umpteenth time. She expressed her condemnation of preps. When we got there, she gapsed because of sexual reasons from laying eyes on the lead singer, Gerard Way.
Gerard had long raven black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was really skinny and he had an amazing ethnic voice. Which ethnicity was referred to, Ebony did not specify. The concertgoers moshed to Helena and some other songs. Suddenly imposer Gerard pulled of his mask. So did the other members. She gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was Goyle in Voldemort's body, and the rest were the "Death Deelers," as the banner announced...everyone ran away but Ebony and I. I stayed because I knew who the guys on stage were; Ebony stayed because she was clinging on to me.
"You moronic idiots!" Goyle shouted and shot us in an angst-filled manner. "Enoby, I told you to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now…I shall kill thou and Draco!"
"No, no please!" she begged sadly but he took out his knife.
Suddenly a gothic old man infected with influenza flew in on his broomstick. He had black hair that was in the shape of a lung, and his looooong burnt loaf of bread was looooong. He was wearing a black robe that said 'avril lavigne' (muggle musician which Ebony labels as poser, in case you didn't know) on the back. He fired out a spell from his wand and Vlodemort ran away. It was…DUMBLYDORE!