Johnny was restless. He wanted to get out of that barn just as much as he wanted to stay there forever. It was the one way he had to hold on to Lulu. He could remember the night they spent there and allow himself to pretend that things were always as good as they were that night.
"This is beautiful," Lulu commented. "This belonged to your mother?"
Lulu was looking at the necklace that had been Johnny's mother's. Johnny was looking at Lulu. He couldn't believe how amazing this girl was. Not only was she breathtakingly beautiful, but she also didn't mind listening to Johnny talk about his life.
"Yes. She wore it for as long as I can remember. She told me that the necklace was special because she bought it the day she found out she was pregnant with me. Her gift that she would give to me one day," Johnny said.
"Wow! That's amazing. It seems like you and your mom were close," Lulu said.
"We were," Johnny started. "She was the most important person in my life."
Johnny couldn't help but to see how beautiful the necklace looked in Lulu's hands. He wondered how perfect it would look around her neck.
"You should keep the necklace," Johnny said. "I don't have a use for it and yours broke when we were playing hide and seek earlier."
"Hide and seek? Is that what that was?" Lulu laughed.
The sound of her laugh stirred something deep inside of him. A place that hadn't felt anything since his mom died. He was sure that she should have the necklace.
"The adult version. Please take it. I want you to have it," Johnny begged.
He flashed her his best smile and hoped it would convince her to take the necklace. It worked.
"Okay, thank you. It's really beautiful," Lulu said with a smile.
Johnny had known in that moment that if there was anyone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, he had found her. Lulu was perfect for him and he wanted to be perfect for her.
Failing at being perfect or even good enough for Lulu was the worst thing that had ever happened to Johnny. He felt the tears again come to his eyes, but he brushed them away quickly when he heard someone approach the door. He relaxed when he heard the familiar knock on the door.
"Come in Spinelli," Johnny said.
Spinelli carefully poked his head through the door with a confused expression on his face. He entered the barn and gave Johnny a small bag of supplies that he had brought with him.
"Has the Mob Prince forgotten the code that the Jackal so secretly and superbly planned?" Spinelli asked.
"No," Johnny answered. "I'm just tired of speaking in code and hiding. The only reason I left town was because I didn't want someone who cared about me to find me dead or see me die. Not because I didn't want Sonny to find me. After all the things I've done, I deserve to die."
"Well perhaps the Jackal can shed some light into the Dark One's world. The Jackal has learned that Mr. Sir has called off the minions that were to seek and destroy the Mob Prince. The Dark One is free."
Johnny couldn't believe what Spinelli had just told him. Free? Sonny didn't want him dead anymore?
"How is that possible? Sonny never gives up on revenge. Who told you that?" Johnny asked.
"The Original Blonde One informed me of your new found freedom," Spinelli answered.
"How did she know?" Johnny asked.
Johnny couldn't help but to be hopeful she had asked Sonny to give up the search. He desperately hoped some part of her still loved him or cared for him.
"Fair Lulu had apparently been to see Vixenella. Perhaps she acquired the information then."
That brought out new hope in Johnny. The only reason Lulu and Claudia would ever be in the same room together was because of him. If Lulu was thinking about him, maybe he still had a chance.
And if he had a chance and no reason to stay away anymore, he was going back to Port Charles as soon as possible.
Lulu once again found herself at the Haunted Star. It had become her daily routine. Walk around aimlessly thinking about Johnny and ending up in front of the place where they had first made love.
"Lost in thought there, love?" Ethan asked.
"What?" Lulu asked coming out of her daze.
She hadn't even noticed Ethan at the bar. Her eyes had been fixed on the piano and she was remembering the first time she saw Johnny play. She looked to Ethan and he was eyeing her cautiously.
"The old boyfriend again? I think you're better off. From what I saw, things weren't exactly peachy," Ethan said.
"Not always, but sometimes. I guess you're right. I should do something to get my mind off things," Lulu said.
"Well I have a little problem and I could use your help," Ethan said. "It seems your father is gone and I know his reputation, but this seems involuntary. Maybe you and I could work together to find him."
Lulu jumped at the opportunity. Although she was sure her father was fine, she needed to find a way to remove Johnny from her mind. And, as much as she hated to admit it, he was still holding her heart and she needed to get that back.
Lulu needed to forget the past and focus on her future. The baby that was growing inside of her needed her to be strong, not weak. Loving Johnny made her weak because it made her vulnerable. She had to stop loving him for the baby.
But once again her mind filled with thoughts of Johnny holding their baby. How could loving the father of her child be wrong?
"It can't," Lulu said out loud.
"What's that, love?" Ethan asked.
"Nothing. Let's get started," Lulu answered.
Johnny pretended to not care about being able to return home in front of Spinelli, but as soon as he was gone, Johnny threw his stuff into a bag, leaving some behind, and set off for Port Charles.
He maneuvered his car away from the carefully constructed shelter and drove quickly towards the city that held his future. Or so he hoped.
Johnny wanted so badly to have a future with Lulu. He wanted to beg for forgiveness and he prayed Lulu would give him just one more chance to get it right. He could do it this time.
He had to do it this time.
Being on the run in New York with Lulu had been fun, even with murder charges looming behind every dark corner and with Lulu seeing visions of Logan. He was always okay as long as he could hold Lulu. She was his lifeline.
Running from Sonny had proved to be the most boring, at times maddening, thing he had ever done. Sitting around waiting to die and being alone all the time. No Lulu, no life.
Johnny passed the "Entering Port Charles" sign and knew exactly where he was headed. He was going to the Haunted Star and he wanted Lulu to be there. He needed Lulu to be there. He needed Lulu.
He parked his car and walked along the docks towards the Haunted Star. He got chills and he stopped. She was close. Johnny could feel Lulu and he became even more hopeful. Maybe it was meant to be. She was exactly where he was looking for her and he took that as a good sign.
He took a few more steps and he could hear her voice. Lulu's voice was music to his ears and he sped up his stride to reach her sooner.
When she finally came into sight a comfort washed over his body. Her presence calmed him and he gained a little more confidence.
His next step rid him of all confidence and hope. Lulu was talking to another guy. The bartender from the Haunted Star. Ethan.
Ethan said something and Lulu laughed and Johnny died again on the inside. Lulu was lost to him forever. There was no going back from the mistakes he had made.
He shut his eyes to restrain not only the tears, but also the overwhelming urge to beat the hell out of the guy who was with his Lulu. Instead he turned around and walked away.
Away from everything that mattered.