A/N: Apologies on taking SO long to update! Hopefully I won't always take that much time b/w chapters in the future! Its getting juicy now, and I have some really fun ideas for the next couple chaps... so we'll see. Its been a whirlwind here in the states b/w halloween and the elections, and then i went out of town to visit my bf for a week. (he thinks that fanfic is absolutely crazy btw, and he got a real kick out of me penning "M" stories. haha).

okay, so enjoy this chapter - and please, please REVIEW!!! what do you think of snape? is he too nice? not nice enough? twins are back in the next chapter!! thanks - reallyrad

disclaimer: the characters and world are the creations of JK Rowling; what they do in this story is all i got!

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Chapter 5: Carnal Knowledge

Tossing and turning, Hermione Granger spent an entire night's worth of fitfull sleep doing the exact opposite of what Professor Snape had asked of her; she was totally unable to empty her mind in the slightest. Lashing out at trying to be tamed, her mind spun her through dream after dream of deep, complex, memories, over analysis of her life, and strange futuristic projections of what was to come. Slowly the dreams grew from strange to outright horrid, and she spent the latter half of her sleep tossing through nightmares.

Sweat drenched, the young healer startled awake. An alarm charm had been set for seven, and with the sun barely creeping on the horizon, she slunk out of bed and crept towards her small washroom.

"You look ghastly!" the monotone voice of the charmed mirror scolded as a pale Hermione, looked at her own reflection.

"Really, thanks. I would have never guessed." Hermione gave the mirror a nasty sneer as she took in the bags under her eyes. The blasted thing is probably right, she thought with a sigh, and did her best to get ready for the day.

With glazed eyes, and hair pulled loosely back into a bun, Hermione found herself seated at the head table in the Great Hall all too soon after waking. The beautiful room was still empty of students, and Minerva McGonagall had charmed the usually rectangular head table into a circle to make for more intimate dining amongst the staff. The magical sky still reflected the weather outside, the same as it had done during her years as a student. Today felt like a cool autumnal morning, that would surely warm into a pleasant Indian summer afternoon.

"Hermione love, 'ou've hardly touched 'our breakfast! I'm mostly starving in the mornings meself!" Teddy Tungston tucked into his plate of eggs and toast after giving Hermione a concerned look.

"Oh Teddy, I'm fine." Her chocolaty brown eyes glanced down at her plate of uneaten sausage and toast. She tiredly pushed some eggs around with her fork.

He raised his eyebrows quizzically. "Eh, women…" he shrugged and swallowed another massive bite of eggs on toast. "Well, I did already have a good 'n hard fly this morning, perhaps I've just worked up me appetite! " The young quidditch professional-turned-Hogwarts flying instructor sat straight up in his chair, making his broad chest and shoulders look as impressive as possible.

"Perhaps that's it. I'm just not very hungry today." She sighed, resigning to try to be nicer to him, he was being kind and he'd have no idea what she was supposed to do after breakfast. "I'm sorry, I'm just a bit distracted."

"Aye, nervous 'bout teachin' no doubt." Teddy nodded, knowingly. "When I firs' started playin' for the Cannons, I was a right wreck I was. I didn't eat right or know what to do with meself fer weeks before. After the first game though, I settled in. After the first day, love, 'uo'll be jus' fine."

"Thanks, Teddy. I'm sure you're quite right." Hermione said with a fake smile.

"I do hope I'm not interrupting an intimate conversation." A tall, dark-haired and foreboding figure was walking briskly past Hermione, and spoke icily as he took the seat on the other side of Teddy.

"Oh no Professor, jus' givin' lil' Hermione here some advice about startin' her first week as a teacher 'n all." The sandy blonde hair and light freckles of Teddy Tungston rendered him adorable in the eyes of most witches, and his quidditch career along with quidditch-honed body gave many obvious reasons to fancy him.

"How encouraging." The silky voice of Severus Snape was full of loathing as he politely used a daft hand to flick his wand towards the plate of sausages. "Yes, I'm sure little Hermione is quite thankful for your sagely advice." He pronounced every syllable of "little Hermione" slowly, with great consideration.

Hermione shivered at his smarminess.

"Aye!" Teddy winked at Hermione, and continued plowing through his breakfast. A bit of egg dribbling on his chin and down onto the quidditch robes he was wearing from his early morning training.

Two black eyes saw the mess the young quidditch instructor was making of his morning meal, and sent an impulse through the body of their owner. Professor Snape's lip curled in a most disdainful fashion and he shook his head at Teddy. He mustered a rhetorical, "Must you be so disgusting when you eat?"

Severus Snape was a wizard, although not pure-blood himself, very well coursed in the niceties and manners of formal (Old-fashioned) wizarding society. His long, disciplined fingers lightly swished and flicked his wand, serving himself polite portions in the neatest manner. He controlled his cutlery with the delicate directness of years as a potions master, his hands immensely trained at the various ways of handling a knife.

His eating manners didn't go unnoticed. Hermione had forced herself more than once, not to gawk at Teddy, and found the profoundly civilized manner in which Snape took his breakfast to be calming.

She smiled to herself, thinking that Teddy Tungston and Severus Snape were quite opposite in every way. Teddy is cheerful, but sloppy, and Severus, although verbally harsh, is quite refined. Hmph. The similarities between Teddy and another wizard she knew all too well weren't lost on the newest professor either. Hermione Granger was keenly aware that save the red hair, Teddy Tungston was incredibly similar to Ron Weasley. Perhaps that's why I find him sexy and funny, but have no real attraction to him, at least none that i'd ever act on.

"You okay 'Mione?" Teddy brought her out of her reverie.

She looked up to see both men staring at her. "Oh yes, just thinking. Sorry," Hermione mumbled.

"Indeed. Quite interesting. Are you sure, you wouldn't ever act on it?" mockingly the potions master asked Hermione.

Teddy Tungston was utterly confused as Hermione slammed a little fist onto the breakfast table.

"How dare you! How, How dare you violate me like that!" She was standing now, hands placed firmly on the table and she looked over Teddy's head and down at Snape, who was of course, smiling.

"Now, now Miss Granger. Maybe one should learn to keep others out. That is the whole point of today's intentions. Speaking of which, I'm quite done with my breakfast, so if we may be on our way?" He stood and held out his arm in a gracious gesture for her to lead the way.

"You are entirely too much!" She turned on her heel and started to walk out of the Great Hall.

"All right then Hermione! I'll just be seein' yeh later!" Teddy stammered, still totally unaware of what was really going on. He had seemed mad in Hermione's defense at first, but as she left, he quizzically shrugged his shoulders towards Snape, hoping for an explanation.

"Our young professor still needs quite a bit of schooling herself." Snape stated towards Tungston, knowing that would hardly explain things at all. Smiling at the confused jock behind him, her quickly followed Hermione out of the Hall and towards his dungeons.

They had walked in silence the entire way to the dungeons and as Professor Snape closed the door to his private office behind them, Hermione Granger let out a yell that she had been stifling the entire way. "How dare you Professor Snape!"

"Yes, I do believe you've already said that." He was smirking.

"You have NO RIGHT to enter my mind like that!"

"Perhaps you're correct, but if you had the ability to block others out, it wouldn't be an issue. You have no control over your own mind, your own emotions. Look at yourself now, you're practically shaking. Now, did you do last night as I told you?" He walked from the door, around his large black desk, and took his proper seat behind the heavy piece of furniture.

Hermione's shoulder slumped. He already knew she wasn't able to empty her mind. "No, not quite." She slunked down into the chair facing him and stared at the toe of her boot. She was still mad at him, but no she was also worried about her obvious inabilities at controlling herself.

"I didn't think you'd be able to. Its no matter, let us start. I'm going to look into your eyes and try to enter your mind. Your only goal at this point, your only focus is blocking me. I'll count to three before I start so you'll have full awareness of when I'm entering."

"Yes, sir." She looked up at him and made eye contact. Something about staring into his dark, deep eyes made her profoundly self-conscious and uncomfortable.

"Very well then. One. Two. Three."

Hermione locked eyes with him, and as the word "three" escaped his mouth, she felt an incredible sensation, like the feeling you get when someone is watching you, but worse. It was more immediate and urgent. She was also thinking about a muggle birthday party her parents had thrown for her when she was ten years old. She could perfectly recall the image of her mother coming into the dining room holding a cake, and her little muggle girlfriends were seated all around her. It would be about a year later that she'd find out about Hogwarts and Voldemort. The milestone of tenth birthday was one of her remaining memories of complete innocence.

The sight of her mother, wearing a simple blue jumper and carrying the homemade cake made Hermione's heart swell. Both of her parents were dead. Why am I sitting here thinking of them now, she wondered. Suddenly, remembering where she was and why, she pushed the entire memory of her home and family into the back of her mind. She imagined the memory getting shut into a trunk. As she slammed the lid down with an imagined bang, the Potions Master brought her attention to the present.

"A little slow at first, but well done in the end. The visualization technique is not one I've seen before. Did you just come up with that?" He was holding a quill and taking notes on parchment.

"Come up with what?" Her voice was quiet. Thinking about her mother had made her sad, and her chest ached with longing.

"The trunk. That big chest you crammed your memory into. As soon as you shut the lid, you forced me out. Could you tell?"

"Oh, not really I suppose. I was aware of your entering at first, but then as you started watching the memory, I was so caught up in it myself, I had no idea where I was anymore."

"Yes Miss Granger, that's rather common. I was able to enter very easily, and then I chose to poke into your early childhood. I thought that would be more safe than things more immediate."

She somberly agreed and thanked him.

"Miss Granger, when you enter someone's mind you can choose which direction you want them to take you. The more practiced you get, the more control you have over what memories or thoughts you are shown. I can also sense emotions, and mental dialogue – what you're stream of consciousness is thinking. At first you were a bit scared and nervous, and then as you showed me the memory you became increasingly melancholy."

"Both of my parents were murdered by death eaters, sir. I'm sure you don't remember, there were so many losses." Her eyes welled up.

"Oh dear, I do see now why that reflection of an innocent childhood moment would in fact make you sad." He rested his chin in one of his hands. His brow wrinkled in thought for a moment, and he spoke softly to Hermione, "This does all make more and more sense now. My apologies for your loss by the way, Miss Granger."

"Thank you, sir."

Professor Snape looked behind Hermione at a heavy black bookshelf. Across the top sat a few small plants, in Slytherin green pots. The professor had an odd assortment of potions ingredients throughout his lab, quarters, and office. As the saddened Hermione Granger sat before him, the leaves of all three plants looked to be slumping down, reflecting her melancholy. The pot on the far left held a chamomile plant, and although not technically a 'magical' plant, it had some special qualities since it was one of the Professor's own. The small white flowers with their bright yellow centers drooped down over the edge of the pot towards the floor. The next two pots were both full of knotgrass, and like the chamomile, the wiry stems fell out of their holder and towards the ground.

"Very curious," Snape was talking to himself, and then looked to the sad young teacher. "Yes, I think that some of the more traumatic events you've suffered as an adult have sort of unhinged your emotional grounding. Much like when you conjure a Patronus, you must think a happy thought, or to battle a Boggart, you must not get scared," he paused. "Yes, much like that, all of our magic is stronger, and works better when we are emotionally whole ourselves."

Hermione sat up; this explanation was ringing a bell and making some sense. "Like when Tonks couldn't change her appearance… She was distressed. Remember, when Lupin was breaking her heart?"

"Yes, quite like that. Dumbledore and I had discussed that situation at length. Andromeda was quite vital to the Order, and we needed her back to her full strength as quickly as we could get her there."

"Oh," was all Hermione could say.

"Shall we try one more time? And as soon as you feel me enter, use that image of the trunk again, and literally shut me out."

Hermione reckoned from his tone that it wasn't so much of an option for her. She prepared herself for his penetration again, and nodded a stiff yes. She locked her brown eyes with his black orbs, and was ready.

Again Snape's dark, silky voice counted to three, and she had the intense awareness of someone else's presence. She was trying to think about nothing, when a more recent memory popped into her mind. She was laying down on her powder blue sofa, back in her old cottage. She looked up at the fireplace as the flames turned green, and the red hair of Ron flooed through. In a moment he was in her living room, and rushing towards her, arms open. The fabric of his professional quidditch robes swished behind him, this was one of his first visits home after moving to Portugal. This was when everything was still good between them.

Oh no, not this day. Not this memory. She tried to push him out of her mind, she tried to think of the trunk, but she felt the presence of Severus Snape refusing to move. Next thing she knew Ron's strong hands were in her hair, and she was overcome with a sense of longing, desire and love. It feels so good to be held, maybe just a minute longer. She felt Ron's hand on her bare breast, and she realized he was undressing her in the memory. He laid her naked body down on the couch and began to kiss her mouth, deeply, resurging the feelings of desire and lust through her mind.

In the memory, she looked up into the mirror that hung on her living room wall. She and Ron used to make love in front of the mirror, both mesmerized by their young, fit bodies. As she looked at her own reflection, stark naked, nipples erect with desire, she was keenly aware of that being-watched feeling.

Professor Snape. Saw me naked. Professor Snape is seeing me naked!!!! Immediately, with anger scourging through every vein in her body, she imagined a large, weighty trunk, and she mentally stuffed her naked body, Ron Weasley and Severus Snape in with a firm slamming of the lid.

"Quite the homecoming for the Weasel." His voice was silky and did not give way to any indication that he was bothered or flustered by what he had just seen,

Hermione however, was fuming mad. Bright pink spots grew on her cheeks and she was standing, leaning over the desk at him. "I cannot believe you would go to that memory. And stay! I tried to push you out, and you stayed!" Ragged breathes were fighting her throat to escape, and tears formed at the corner of her eyes.

"Oh Miss Granger, if you had tried hard enough I would not have been able to stay. I assure you I remained quite professional, no need to get embarrassed or mad." The small objects on his desk, paperweights and a magical clock, some vials of potions, were all trembling in the presence of Hermione's radiating anger. "Miss Granger, please, I beg you to calm down."

His nonchalance irked her even more. She knew he was trying to pick something sensitive. "So that's it then. Trying to get a glimpse of me like that? See anything you like, Professor?" Heavy panting followed her speech; her brown eyes were glaring with hatred, the tears had already been blinked away.

"Was it anything really that special?" He sneered. "Nothing I haven't seen before. Now, sit."

Embarrassed by everything all together, Hermione turned on her heel and started towards the door. I'm leaving, this… this is madness. Utter madness. Professor Snape just glared at my naked body.

"Now Miss Granger, I'll accept that the lesson is over today, but do try to calm down. I can't have you destroying half of Hogwarts because you're angry now. I chose a more, ahem, sensitive memory on purpose. I figured if you were angry, you would try harder to push me out. You seem to display great strength when you're mad, and well, when you were sad it seemed to almost drain your power."

She had stopped walking and was listening, her back still turned on him. He continued, "I apologize if you felt uncomfortable because of the nature of the memory. I assure you in my many years as both a man and a double agent, I hardly found a lover's embrace shocking. The most horrid part was actually seeing such an intelligent witch swoon over a buffoon like the Weasel."

An awkward silence hung in the air.

Oh shite, did I really just say that out loud? Now she's bound to think I'm some type of pervert. I really had no idea he's rip her shirt off so quickly. I should have known though, he was always quite uncouth; no manners at all. The poor girl, she is simply a wreck. Severus Snape was lost in thought. As soon as Hermione had been exposed in the memory, he felt bad, he knew he may have taken it too far, but he stood by his admission that he needed a memory that would spark some anger in her. And, once he saw part of her soft, milky flesh exposed, the curious man in him was honestly a bit excited to see more. The thought of being turned on by Hermione Granger was strange and alarming, he quickly forced down that notion as it just being the skin of a woman. I would have liked to see any woman's skin, its not Granger that excites me, it can't be.

Before he was quite through convincing himself, he was interrupted by a voice outside of his head.

"I am embarrassed sir, but you couldn't have possibly known what was about to happen. I understand the problems my anger brings, and I know your curiosity with my anger is what started this whole thing. I'd like to try again, but not today… I'm just going to leave now." Her small face still did not move to look at him. A little hand rested gently on the doorknob, and she was about to exit.

"Please. I want to help you, and I want to understand what gives you this extraordinary power with wandless magic. I will try to remain as professional, and nonjudgmental as I can, if you continue to work on this with me. And anything revealed in a memory, will of course remain confidential. I give you my word on that" He wanted to comfort her, and he was trying his best to use as nice of a tone as possible.

"Yes sir. I appreciate your time and I know I can value from training in the arts of the mind. I am currently just beyond mortified and would like to exit as quickly as possible. Perhaps for you a naked girl is an everyday occurrence, but for me that was a rather private scene! Good day." She turned the knob as she said good day, and left his office.

Before the door shut Severus managed to evenly state, "I never meant anything other than reassurance when I said it didn't disturb me. Please, forgive me."

Severus Snape sat down at his desk, and began to write more notes on the parchment before him. As soon as Hermione had left his office, the plants had sprung back up to a normal, perky position. As he couldn't help but go over the scene of Ron and Hermione again, and again, he realized his plants weren't all that was growing in the office. Feeling rather naughty at lusting after the breasts of his former student, Severus decided he's done enough work on this project today, and got up towards his laboratory to distract himself by making potions.

As Hermione let herself into her own private quarters she collapsed on her couch. It was only a few minutes before she slipped off into a light nap, thankfully without having any dreams. It was a little after noon when she woke up.

I actually feel much better. "That's why we love cat naps, right Crooks?" She spoke aloud to half-kneazle, as she gave him a light scratch behind the ears. Crookshanks stretched his orange back out in appreciation for the attention.

Hermione stood up from the couch and walked over to her desk. She began to write a letter to Harry and Ginny, filling them in on what was going on. She decided to put some basic information about Snape and the lessons, but to not divulge how embarrassing things became. Since she was going to be so busy teaching, planning, studying, and now training with Snape, Hermione had regretfully told Harry and Ginny she couldn't make her regular Wednesday night babysitting anymore. Being the loving and supportive friends they are, they both assured her over and over that they'd be just fine and that Molly would surely love to watch James in lieu of his godmother.

Signing the end of the letter, she rolled up the parchment and placed it lightly inside her pocket. She'd go to the owlry and send it off before taking lunch in the Great Hall.

"Oh good, Hermione's here. That makes everyone. Well, as long as Hermion doesn't have an objection, I see no problem with just going ahead now. Hermione?"

She had just walked in the Great Hall, and saw Minerva McGonagall and all of the other professors gathered around the circular table. As she approached the only empty seat, Minerva was talking to her, asking her is they could go ahead. Go ahead with what?

"Erm, I'm sorry?" Hermione was utterly puzzled.

"Oh sorry dear, do sit down. The staff meeting. Since we're all here, it will save us all time if we just do the meeting now, informally. They aren't any students yet, so we've no need for privacy." McGonagall explained.

"Oh right. That's fine with me headmistress." Hermione sat down and helped herself to a sandwich. She couldn't shake the surprise and strangeness of being a professor now, of seeing life at Hogwarts from the other side. They really are just people, just adults, she smirked to herself, and now I'm one of them.

The meeting was mostly boring at first, but Hermione, having never heard any of this information first hand, paid rapt attention as the Hogwarts express schedule and details for the Opening Feast were explained.

It picked up a bit more excitement as announcements of Head Girl and Boy, Prefects, and Quidditch Captains were made. Hermione tried not to smirk as Teddy Tungston applauded each choice, and took copious notes on anything pertaining to quidditch. He found it necessary to give his personal opinion on each captain.

"John Wamsley will be the captain of Hufflepuff –" The headmistress was cut off after each name.

"Oi, that bloke'll whip 'em all right into shape! Good man Wamsley, great eye…"

Hermione was silently laughing a little at Teddy's over-excitement, and she began scanning the table to distract herself when she heard Severus Snape speak over him.

"I'd rather teach double classes to first years than listen to anymore of this inane drabble about blasted quidditch! This man is the biggest idiot dunderhead I've ever heard go on."

Hermione jumped in her seat and gave a little gasp. As she looked around though, no one else seemed to be reacting to Snape's harsh words. Teddy was done, and McGonagall was giving the schedule for matches.

"… with the first match being Slytherin versus Ravenclaw on the third Saturday… Hermione? Are you okay?" The headmistress stopped mid-sentence noticing her jump.

"Oh, umm yess. Err, sorry professors. I was just thinking of something else." Hermione blushed and settled back into her seat. Didn't anyone else hear him? Or maybe they just don't care? She looked up at Snape, who was sitting across the circle, her eyes questioning.

"No. No one else heard me. A bit more discretion next time Miss Granger."

Her eyes went wide in comprehension. Oh my gods, I'm reading his thoughts! I entered Severus Snape's mind!

"Oh now please, come on." Snap was speaking directly into Hermione's mind. His lips weren't moving and no one else seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary going on. She could hear every word he spoke with an intense clarity. He went on, "Do not all of a sudden consider yourself a Master Legillimens now. Voldemort couldn't even break into my mind when I wouldn't allow him to. I invited you, sort of a reverse Occlumency. I wanted to se if you could hear me."

"Can you hear me?" She asked in her mind.

"Yes. I noticed by your facial expressions you weren't paying much attention, so I thought now as good of time as ever. By the way Miss Granger, while I have you as a captive audience, I would like to apologize for this morning's lesson. Being a voyeur to such a personal memory was hardly in the lesson plan. Please, accept my apologies, I am very sorry if you were made to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable."

She just stared at him wide-eyed. She didn't know if she should be angry at the violation of having him enter her mind again, or amazed at the whole situation, the marvel of talking mind-to-mind. Not to mention Severus Snape uttering an apology. Part of her was embarrassed, and part thrilled, she wanted to be nice to him, but she was still upset. She was just utterly confused, a feeling that Hermione Granger did not enjoy at all.

"I know it's a lot to take in. I'm just testing your mind right now in these early stages. Legillimency, although not a walk in the park, is noticeably easier to perform than Occlumency. Occlumency is about compartmentalising one's emotions, and blocking them and sorting them for use at appropriate times. I feel the stronger you get at Occlumency, the easier you can compartmentalise your emotions in everyday life. Be able to ignore anger, until a later, more suitable time. Instead of exploding a shed, you can go for a fly and work off some steam on your own, later." Severus Snape was actually being kind, and explanatory, and what he said actually made perfect sense to Hermione.

"Ha. Me, fly? Good one. Why do you care so much about me and my emotions anyways?" That was the one part she didn't understand in all this: why her?

"To be utterly honest, and since you're in my mind you could most likely sense a feeling of unease or deceit if I was in fact lying, I have never seen a witch with so much potential. Your strength is beyond the scope of what most witches and wizards will ever observe in their lifetime, and I believe that with proper training, you could put that power to some very valuable use. Sometimes those of us who are a bit more volatile are often misunderstood."

She listened to his words, and tried to sense his emotions as he spoke. She was picking up on an overwhelming feeling of need, of needing comfort. Feelings of being humble, and accepting help. Snape wants to help me because he feels like he needs to? She was trying to make sense of what she felt in his mind.

"Its not that I need to help you. I was a lot like you, unbridled emotions, breaking things. Luckily for me, one of my professors noticed the signs and began working with me. If not for Albus, I'm not sure what kind of havoc I could have wreaked."

A sense of understanding washed over Hermione. He wanted to help her because he understood what it was like to be her. Of course, she thought, he's been known as one of the most powerful wizards alive now, especially with Dumbldore and Voldemort dead. He could possibly be, in fact, the strongest wizard alive.

"Kingsley Shacklebolt is quite powerful. And don't underestimate Minerva. Charlie Weasley also has some special gifts, and although I don't see eye-to-eye with them, those twin brothers of his are quite clever when need-be." Severus' voice sounded amused at her unintended ego-boosting.

"Oh drat. I keep forgetting you can read my bloody mind too. The sooner I get this occlumency thing down, the better."

"Miss Granger, that's what I've been saying all along. Oh, its time to sign up for Hogsmeade weekends now. Best to pay attention. My office again tomorrow, same time, after breakfast."

She gave the professor a quick nod and then looked up and Minerva McGonagall as though she had been listening to every word of the meeting thus far.