If you take Kris' excuse for the delay of the chapter, she says it's all Julie's fault for not writing. Julie will argue and say that it was both of their faults. The real reason is that both of us were plotting a way to remove it from the site and publish it as our own original piece of fiction without telling the other one. This plan backfired when we found out it was apparently not a very original idea to do this, so we were practically forced to continue posting here.

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Since she had been dazzled so thoroughly, Edward, who is a man-whore, after all, had no trouble convincing Bella to go home with him. In fact, she all but jumped him right there in the middle of the dance floor.

It was a good thing she didn't because that might have been more awkward than what is about to happen in our tragically original plot.

You see, Bella and Edward did make it to Edward's apartment and as you can probably already deduce, clothes began to simply fly away from their bodies at a very rapid rate until they were both very scantily clad and making out with a fervor on his couch. Why not the bedroom, you ask, dear reader? Well, it would be very inconvenient for our next plot twist of course!

Before we shock you with a twist, let's just point something out. Bella Swan has never been with a man before. Ever. Oh she had so many opportunities, but she was never dazzled enough to care. Bella Swan has never acted on so many hormones before now. But here's the thing, readers.

Bella Swan is an amazing kisser. She's an amazing strip-the-clothes-off-you-er. Edward Cullen has never felt so turned on in his entire life, but Bella is simply a natural and great at it, even though she's had no prior experience. Ever.

Okay, plot twist time.

Because Edward and Bella were so caught up in the extreme heat of the moment, they both failed to hear the laughter and banging from outside the door. In fact, it wasn't until the door swung open and the lights turned on, did Edward and Bella jerk away from each other and find themselves staring at the four rather shocked (but incredibly amused nonetheless) faces of their four best friends.

Oh, did we forget to mention that Edward lived with two other really hot guys too? Convenient, aye?

The even more convenient part of this whole plot twist is that those two really gorgeous best friends of Edward's just happened to be accompanied by Bella's two BFFs. Bet you never saw that one coming.

"EDWARD, MY MAN!" Emmett bellowed. (Apparently the man can only ever speak in caps lock. It's a character rule.)

"Emmett? Jasper?" Edward gaped at his two best friends in absolute shock as if seeing them in their shared apartment was something he never thought would happen.

"Rose? Alice?!" Bella screeched at the same time as Edward, but she was a little more justified in her cry. After all, her two best friends had just shown up in the nick of time to prevent her from getting laid by a man-whore...and they were on the arms of two very gorgeous men themselves. "What are you doing here?"

"We're here with these two hunks, obviously," Rose explained in her usual bitchy way. "What are you doing here?"

Bella blushed all the way down to her toes because that's the only acceptable response from her at this point. Witticisms elude Bella right when she would need them most.

"I...uh..." Bella was suddenly very aware of her and Edward's states of undress.

Luckily for Bella, Edward was a man-whore and has had plenty of practice dealing with awkward situations like this. Oh that Edward, he's just so darn good at everything, isn't he.

"We were just uh - getting to know each other better," Edward explained.

"With your clothes off?" Alice asked doubtfully.

Bella, who was once again as red as a beet because she just can't go one second without blushing, rushed to grab her shirt and stammered without a response for a moment. Edward, for his part, sat unabashed in only his boxers on the couch because he was quite comfortable being almost naked in front of complete strangers. It came with the territory of being a man-whore.

Bella glanced sheepishly over to her dazzler and noticed how he wasn't moving.

"Edward, what are you doing? Put some clothes on!" she said frantically. Her clothes were practically putting themselves on her, she was moving so fast. But, behold! Bella Swan completes her day fantastically as she stumbles to the ground after attempting to put her pants on.

(Readers, please don't worry. She does this a lot, so she's fine).

Edward was about to lean over to help her up, but she got up quickly and shrugged him off. Because Bella is still independent and doesn't need his help.

Edward leaned back and smirked, his teeth so white they were blinding, and his crooked smile so intoxicating it, he...well you know...dazzled her.

"I'm comfortable in these clothes, right here," he said. "It would make more sense if you came back over here, though, just like earlier, and we-"

"Bella Swan, YOU HAVE SO MUCH EXPLAINING TO DO TONIGHT, OMIGOD," Alice shrieked.

And with those words, reader, I'm sure you can imagine what came next. The small pixie(ah, you thought we would forget to refer to her as a pixie this chapter?) darted over to Bella and tackled her to the ground, all the while insisting in a high pitch that she had to spill everything.

"Sorry, boys, but it looks like we'll have to take a rain-check tonight. We've suddenly got more important things to do than openly lust after you," Rose sniffed and swept out of the room as soon as she made sure Alice was dragging a still half-clothed Bella after her.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked, quite put out and still heartily embarrassed from the entire situation.

"We're going home so we can squeal like pre-teen banshees over your almost getting laid tonight before our untimely, yet perfectly timed interruption, of course, Bella! Duh," Alice said with the required roll of her eyes.

Now, reader, you should feel eternally grateful to us because we're going to skip over this banshee-like conversation. Please take note that if we did include it, it would be required to include a lot of caps lock and misplaced exclamation marks. We're sure your industrious imaginations can conjure this up so we don't have to.

Instead of peeking in on these habitual female rituals of embarrassing your friend to teh point of a shame-induced death, we turn instead back to the apartment of the three boys who were left in a slightly bewildered state as the three gorgeous girls walked out on them.

Edward, of course, was still mostly undressed and basking in his own reflection that he could just catch from the TV's reflection and Jasper and Emmett were both gaping at the door that their two conquests-to-be had just disappeared through.

"What just happened there?" Jasper asked, already desperately missing his little pixie angel he had such an intimate connection with, after those five minutes in the bar.

Please note for future: Jasper will go mute whenever we see fit. So, just because he happens to say something at one moment, don't count on him being mentioned again in the same scene. It really works best this way, trust us.

"Dudes, I was SO getting some tonight. THIS ISN'T FAIR," Emmett whined to his bros. He turned to look at Edward. "Eddie, didn't you see Rose? Didn't you see her hot body and all those curves and man oh man how I would just love to run my hands all over-"

"Emmett, please," Jasper said somewhat frantically, eyes wide and scared. "I am trying to picture Alice in my head, and you going on and on about a BLONDE IS TOTALLY KILLING MY JAZZ." (Ha, ha, did you see what we did there?). Oh and, this is where Jasper goes silencio!

They both turned to look at Edward, who was looking back at them with a strange expression.

"I have a connection with Bella," he said, all super happy and weird-like. I mean, he's really excited about this revelation. "Bella has changed my ways. No longer will I scout the bars and streets and sewers and boats and oceans and countries and continents for my love. It is her. She is the love of my life. Forever and ever."

Now, dear readers, I have a feeling you've known this from the very beginning, but please allow us to keep believing our plot line is tragically original by telling you that on that day, in that exact moment, after spending a mere thirty minutes or so having a hot make out session with one Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, man-whore extraordinaire, decided to change his ways and become the very epitome of the perfect man. After all, once a man falls in love, he's always perfectly willing to change everything and anything about himself to better conform to what his new love wants of him.

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