Advent against Time
Written By: Matdeception
Disclaimer: ...
Author's Notes: Just couldn't stop typing, heh. I almost feel like I'm writing TUA again, where I pumped out a chapter a day for weeks at a time. Ah well, I enjoyed it.
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Chapter 1: How far would you go; Guilt knows no restraint.
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There could be no greater torment then Guilt. Soul wrenching guilt that started as a kernel of doubt and confusion within your bosom, rising up as you continued to blame and hurt and destroy that which was innocent of your pain, but could do nothing to stop your expression of grief. It suffused and compelled, it drowned and controlled. Ever rising higher and higher into the sky until climax, when you realize everything you've done was done because of a lie, a lie you told yourself as a means to escape the pain ever burning in your heart and soul.
Yuuhi Kurenai knew first hand what it was like to feel Guilt; it controlled her life now, every single aspect of it. She often wondered what her family would think of her if they still lived; she often wondered what he would think of her if he still lived.
Katshuhito...
"Kurenai." the voice penetrated the malaise of her mind, pushing her thoughts and guilt to the back for now.
"Grandmother?"
"Services have ended." the older woman spoke softly, brown doe eyes staring pointedly into burning crimson. "Would you like to stay for dinner?"
"No." shake of the head, a polite bow. "I have preparations to make."
"Preparations?" Her grandmother frowned thoughtfully, sipping from her cup. "Your Jounin exam is not for another year, and you've been given three days leave to mourn the loss of your parents and brother." she looked at her then, in that oh so aggravating way that demanded she come up with a better lie if she wanted to skip the traditional family gathering after the mourning ceremonies were complete.
Kurenai couldn't tell her the truth, no, she wouldn't tell her the truth. The truth that she didn't deserve to have a family, to be happy, to be loved, to be cared about by anyone. Not now, not so long as her Crime remained uncorrected. Not so long as her victim fell further and further down the road to hell she had put him on. Guilt knew no logic, guilt knew no reason, it could not be tricked or pacified. It simple was, and would always be, until that which gave birth to Guilt was abolished, corrected, wrongs made right.
"I'll be going now." she returned with a sharp glare, "Tell the family I won't be attending again this year, would you Grandmother?"
The old crone looked ready to protest, but the glare, the searing gaze that could send enemy nin fleeing in terror stilled her. She sighed inwardly. 'Ever the difficult child, Rei-chan, she takes after you so much it hurts.'
"Very well, child."
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'This is complete utter fucking bullshit.' Naruto scowled as he read the results of his Exit Exam. 'I failed? I fucking failed! I've been alive over six hundred mother fucking years and I fail a god damn exam I could fucking pass with my eyes closed!' This stunk of conspiracy, this stunk of favoritism!
"YOSH! I PAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSED!" a boy went screaming past, tears leaking from his eyes as he screamed to the world his jubilation.
This stunk of humiliation of the highest order! Even fucking Rock 'I can do Jutsu for Shit' Lee managed to pass!
'Okay, take a breather old man. So what if you failed the exam twice? Sure, the first time was a fluke, but when you blow all the chakra pathways out in your arm and end up in the hospital of COURSE your gonna fucking fail.' he glared hard enough to ignite his score card, 'But this time? You not only failed, but according to these scores you rated DEAD FUCKING LAST in Theory, Practical Skills, Subterfuge, Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, Genjutsu and last but not least, you rated in the 'Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn from ten meters' For Kunai application and use.'
'Conspiracy, definitely a fucking conspiracy. I could run rings around these punks no matter what I do, but I still rate dead last?' he growled hatefully as something else came to mind, 'What are the odds Iruka-sensei ends up in the hospital cause of food poisoning a day before my fucking final? That Mizuki bastard planned this, he had too, but why?'
He didn't know, but as he turned and slowly made his way down the hall, he vowed to find out.
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Kurenai smiled pleasantly as she moved through the halls, the jubilation of the children who had finally taken that step from Student to Genin contagious, it lifted her spirits and left her feeling more positive about her situation and plans. It was certainly appreciated, especially so soon before she had to deal with that bastard Mizuki. She swore if he tried to get fresh with her again, deal or no deal, she'd humiliate him.
"Ah!" the door swung open, the familiar visage of the grey haired man appearing from the doorway, "Yuuhi-san! I wasn't expecting you so soon!" he looked down at the pile of books in his arms, before shrugging and motioning her in.
Kurenai followed him into the room, giving the empty classroom a quick look over before she reached into her dress and pulling out a rather large roll of ryou, "I take it everything went as expected?"
Mizuki nodded; putting the books down, "Had to get Iruka out of the way for a while, and never would have gotten away with it if he showed up, but yeah, the brat failed." he opened one of the books, leafed through some papers until he produced a score card. "Just as well, we'd be the laughing stock of the school if it ever got out the demon trash had managed to not only pass, but score at the top of his class."
Kurenai grimaced inwardly; her guilt growing just a little bit bigger then it was when she first entered the room.
"Yes... I suppose it's for the best." she responded, evenly. "20,000 ryou as we agreed, Mizuki-san."
"Hmmm." he took the proffered money, giving it a curious glance before gazing intently at the slightly younger woman, "You know this only covers the actual grade change, not poisoning my dear friend Iruka."
The black haired beauty simply raised an eyebrow, "Oh? I suppose you've already come up with an alternative payment method, haven't you." she grimaced inwardly, 'You fucking piece of shit, I'll fucking kill myself before I let trash like you lay a hand on me.'
"Mmmhmm." he grinned, "I want the truth, Yuuhi-san. Why are you so interested in seeing the bastard fail?" he reached into his pocket, pulling out and unfolding another piece of paper, "And don't give me any excuses, I did a little research on you, you've been monitoring that brat since he was released from the hospital for, quote-unquote, Genjutsu generated Mental Trauma."
"Your point?" she replied frostily
"Oh, no point." Mizuki shrugged, "Don't really bother making points, kids too stupid to get it anyway." he chuckled at his own joke.
Kurenai was not amused.
"Yes... well." he coughed, "Did a bit more research, especially into his Pre-Academy days. His teachers, prior to the 'Genjutsu trauma' observed that he was a quiet boy, who avoided contact and did nothing aggressive. All he ever seemed to do was draw in his book." he grinned then, looking quite pleased with himself, "Once he got out of the hospital however, he went the drastic, radical personality change route. From reserved and controlled to angry and fierce. That's not even the most interesting aspect of all this..."
"Mizuki-san" she snapped, her icy fa ade breaking slightly as anger threatened to explode from within, "I have other, more important things to do today then listen to your Theories. Get to the point."
"Ah.." he grinned, though with less confidence then before. Damn that woman could almost shoot fires from her eyes with that glare. "Well, I figure your trying to condition him, make him snap right?" he grinned then, a malicious little thing that left Kurenai sick to her stomach. "Trying to get him to do something that the Council or the Hokage finally couldn't ignore?"
'That... that unbelievable bastard!' Kurenai scowled inwardly. He thought she was trying to get the child KILLED? What kind of inhuman monster would do that to a child! How absolutely aw...
Pot, this is Kettle. You are black, I repeat, you are black.
The guilt was smothering now, almost suffocating. 'I suppose given the evidence that would be the most logical conclusion... but I'm not... no, I'm not that kind of person anymore.' she steeled herself, 'No, I'm not.'
"This conversation is over." she snapped, stomping out the door angrily.
Mizuki grinned as he watched her go. 'Ah Kurenai-san, you're so damn transparent.' Really, if this was the extent of her covert skills, he was rather disappointed. There had to be an easier way to go about getting the kid killed, hell he could think of one right off the top of his head, though he doubted he could find a vat of boiling acid to dip him into with out some extensive work. Ah well...
"MIZUKI-TEME!" a scream, rage, anger, uncontrollable fury echoing loudly and clearly for anyone within ear shot. The following kick that smashed the door into little pieces left the older man nervous, at least until he saw just who had kicked the door open.
"You little pest, do you have any idea how much that door costs?"
"Shut the fuck you bastard!" the boy sneered, fists clenched so tight that his knuckles were pure white. "You have one chance, one mother fucking chance to tell me who the hell put you up to this conspiracy or I swear to god I will knock your fucking block off!"
'Little bastard!' Mizuki seethed. Who does this kid think he is? As if a no name little bastard had a chance of even touching a Chuuin, much less harming one. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Uzumaki." he sneered, "Now leave before I have you cited for destruction of school property!"
"Wrong answer, dickwad!" the boy snapped and simply... vanished... vanished until his fist reappeared a mere millisecond before smashing into his face.
Mizuku flew back from the force of the blow, landing in an awkward and no doubt painful position. His only respite was the fact he had lost consciousness the moment he had been hit.
The boy sneered down at the unconscious teacher, "That'll teach ya, huh, bitch?" he turned to leave, but stopped as something caught his attention. A roll of bills laid haphazardly near his unconscious teacher, just sitting there as pretty as you please practically begging it be taken.
Naruto was not one to disappoint. "Wow, thanks bastard!" he grinned, counting the bills. 'Holy shit, this is a lot. Why kind of self respecting Nin carries this much cash on them anyway?' he stopped to think about it, before shrugging the thought off. It didn't matter.
What did matter, however, was he now finally had the cash he needed for some new clothes. 'Suppose failing wasn't too bad, I mean, I doubt I could make this much cash as a Genin in a year anyway, not with all the crappy D-rank bull shit they force on ya.' he smiled, a happy little thing that held no malice or anger. 'Wow, teme really did me a favor this time.'
Happily whistling as he pocketed his cash, Naruto left the unconscious Mizuki with a smile and a skip in his step.
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Kurenai stared at the graves as she often did when reminded of their passing, an event that had been happening more and more of late. 'Katshuhito-chan...'
Kneeling down, she carefully placed a bundle of flowers on the graves. For a time she was silent, alone in the grave yard, just her and the silent dead. It hurt to be here, it hurt to even think of her family. Yet that pain was not because of their loss, but because of her betrayal. A betrayal that stained her down to her very core, one she knew she would never be able to wash clean. But she could try, oh how hard she was going to try. 'Just one more year Naruto-kun, just wait one more year. I'll be a Jounin then, yes, and then I can finally help fix all the damage I've done.'
She would stay there the rest of the day and well into the night, alone with the graves of the dearly departed. Alone with her guilt.
Alone with the hope that after everything is said and done, Naruto would look to her and say those words she longed to hear. The only words that can give her peace.
'I forgive you.'
She would be alone with that hope for a long, long time.
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TBC...